Chapter two: On comfortable matches and hangings

"I will make you brooches and toys for your delight

Of birdsong at mornings and star-shine at night.

I will make a palace fit for you and me,

Of green days in forests and blue at sea."

The roadside fire, by Robert Louis Stevenson

From when she had been first introduced to him Jennifer Hawk had been in awe of James Norrington. Indeed, from that first moment when she met his green eyes for the first, although swift glance she knew she would be his forever. The severe lines of his face had fascinated her in a way no man ever had. When he spoke, her belly filled with such amounts of fluttering butterflies that she found it hard to breath; only because of that manly, deep voice. The softness of his lips when he kissed her hand made every thought flee from her mind, in a way that was probably indecent. Even the way he walked impressed her, his back straight but his body swaying ever so slightly as if more used to the heaving of a boat than the firm ground.

Then everything had gone so quickly. He had stood up for a couple of dances with her, paid morning calls, and before she knew it her father had called her into his study to inform her of the lieutenant's proposal. She hadn't dared to believe it. That he would chose her, when London was so full of ladies more beautiful and experienced. Jennifer had neither great beauty nor great fortune. She was seventeen years old and although she knew how to play and sing, speak French with a decent accent and dance, she had no knowledge of the housewifely things that would be necessary for an officer's wife. But even so, for a few days she allowed herself to dream. Dream of a life with him on the exotic islands on the other side of the ocean. A house that would be theirs, of sunny days and love. Always love.

But this morning it had become painfully clear to her, that he was looking for a dutiful wife, not a companion. It broke her heart that she could love him so, after knowing him for so short a time, but that he saw nothing in her to entice him to any deeper feeling towards her.

Preparing for the assembly on the Saturday afternoon, she felt no real want to attend. She had to, she knew, but the prospect of being near lieutenant Norrington frightened her. She knew not if she could control herself. When she ran out on his last visit, her aunt had been extremely vexed with her, telling her with a great many words how grateful she should be to him for offering for her. Even her father, in his brusque, dear ways had chastised her mildly for her abruptness. Being a businessman he clearly only saw the practical aspects of the marriage of his daughter and the advancement of his affairs by the union of their families.

She had cried even more, telling her aunt that Lieutenant Norrington didn't love her. Auntie Helen had only waved that away, saying that no young lady should make a so ridiculous demand of her future husband. Love was one thing, but a ring on her finger and enough needle money to buy all the pretty dresses she wanted that was what counted according to auntie. Comfortable was the word she used most often to describe Jennifer's future life, and Jennifer had suspicion that auntie herself longed for such a life. She would not listen at all to Jennifer's pleas to stay at home, only sent the maid up to help her dress.

Usually Jennifer would chat to her maid, but tonight she was silent while her corset was tightened and her hair done up. Her dress was quite new, and at any other time she would have been delighted to wear it. But not tonight. Not when she still cried for the lost dream of that sunny house filled with love. When she gazed at herself in the mirror she felt miserable and listless. The assembly could bring nothing to lighten her heart, she was convinced.

James Norrington had no idea where to start. He was quite determined to court his bride to be as she deserved, but freely admitted to himself that he had no clue as to how to please her. Even so, he was determined to try. Perhaps she would mistake his good intentions for the warmer feelings he did not have.

He arrived a little late to the assembly and stepped right into the arms of his grandmother. She was a commanding sight in purple silk and a lace cap, and the sour frown she always had when in company.

– Good evening grand mother, he said and bowed over her hand. When he let go, she scrutinized him with her small, black eyes and frowned.

– You look rumpled James, she said. Straighten up.

Unwillingly he did, there was no denying her tone of voice. Or getting a word in, until she was finished.

– Miss Hawk seems pale tonight, is she unwell? If she has a frail health, perhaps you should reconsider her as a bride. Neither her fortune nor her consequence is large enough to make her worth such a waste of time, should she die.

– It was you who told me I should wed her, madam.

– I did, the old lady agreed reluctantly. They may be merchant stock, but she comes with money and enough breeding.

Since Norrington had not laid eyes himself on Miss Hawk yet this evening, he found his grandmothers conversation rather tedious.

– I am sure it is only the bleak weather, grandmother. I have no intention of breaking our engagement.

The sharp eyes shot to his face again.

– So it's a love match? She said a note of alarm in her voice old, sharp voice. It better not be, James, men should not love their wives, it does not bode for a comfortable life.

– No madam, it is not, Norrington answered, knowing full well that was only half of the truth.

– Good, good. Your grandfather never loved me, you know. Nor I him of course, and we had a most agreeable marriage. A most comfortable life. Only look at how those newlyweds carry on – Mr and Mrs Spencer. So charming a lad, and now he only follows in his lady's apron strings. The other day they even danced the minuet together! It is not done, I tell you James, and it should grieve me to see you carry on so unhandsomely.

No man in his right mind would try to say nay to the old dowager when she was in this mood. Norrington did not even try, but stood politely at attention, enduring her rambles as best he could.

– And your parents did not love each other, as you well know, James. Jane hated your fathers guts, and look how well you turned out. She chuckled in evil mirth.

– Such a good move to throw them together. Such a beautiful couple as well. The Caribbean craves a strong constitution and one strong enough to quarrel as much as your mother, dear James, was exceptionally fit to be the wife of a sailor.

Knowing already where the subject would turn, Norrington sighed inwardly. His grandmother had certain views that neither age nor common sense could make her forgo.

– Are you really sure that the little Hawk girl is fit enough for the journey? She does not seem very sturdy.

– If you would excuse me, grandmother,

He bowed again and then slipped into the crowds.

There was not much space in the crowd and it took him a moment to find Miss Hawk. She was standing with her aunt, staring at the hem of her dress. She seemed more like a sulking child than a bride.

– Good evening, Miss Hawk. May I say how…charming you look tonight?

It might not be true, she was certainly not looking her best, but he was determined to break her out of her silent moods.

– Lieutenant Norrington! she gasped, raising her eyes, both shocked at his appearance and the compliment.

– At your service, madam, he answered, bowing. This chivalrous behaviour did not come easily to him, but when she saw how such small attentions made her eyes shine, the dullness speedily gone, he could not but think that it was worth it.

– Would you care for a stroll on the terrace, it is a most pleasant evening?

It was such a blatant lie, that he feared that her aunt would intervene, but that virtuous lady only nodded and smiled. So Jennifer accepted the arm he was offering her, and with a fluttering she walked away with him.

The darkness outside was anything but pleasant, but at least the rain had stopped and fires blazed in the garden. Norrington sincerely hoped that his chosen bride did not have the sickly constitution anticipated by his grandmother, because then she would surely get a sickness in her lungs. But Jennifer Hawk seemed not to mind.

– I am so grateful to you for taking me away from there, lieutenant Norrington. Since our engagement no one asks me to dance, and….Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I only meant… She silenced with cheeks flaming at this jumbled speech.

– The pleasure is all mine, Miss Hawk, and surely all the young gentlemen must realise that the loss is theirs…

Again compliments! Jennifer did not know where to look, and wondered silently what had happened to change him so. Because surely… She raised her eyes to his, and the tenderness she saw there made her blush again.

– How fares your preparations for the journey, Miss Hawk? Norrington asked, glancing down at her. Quite freely she started to describe it to him, the chests almost filled, her wedding dress which would soon return for a second fitting. All this she described to him, without ever considering that he was interested in such womanly pastimes.

He wasn't, but he stayed silent, a small smile playing at his lips.

Happily prattling on about linens and stitching it took Jennifer some time to realise how little interest he really must have in the subject.

– Surely you do me an unkindness in allowing me to prattle on like this, sir, she then chided him, a worried frown returning to her brow.

– Not at all, Miss Hawk, I found you adorable. She almost gasped. Would you find me terribly forward if I told you to call me James?

Not even in her dreams had she dared to wish for him to tell her so and again she raised her shining eyes to his.

– Perhaps it would only be a little improper…James,

– We are to be married in a few months time; I think there can be no objection.

Silenced again by the greatness of the moment, Jennifer Hawk let him lead her back inside. Norrington was trying not to feel like he was flying false colours; for all that he knew he did. It was such an easy little lie, to pretend he loved her. Perhaps his compliments lacked the lustre of the practised flirt, but her reaction was gratifying enough. His only worry was that his little scheme would become too obvious, that his sudden change of heart would not seem credible. But looking down into her eyes, both compliments and light conversations came easily enough to him.

That walk on the terrace, be the night pleasant or not, did much to change Jennifer Hawk's opinion of lieutenant Norrington. That he was the crown of all male glory, she knew, but now she dared to hope as she had not dared before, that he might love her as she loved him. She dared not tell her aunt so, since this respectable lady had already spoken her opinion on the subject, but she nurtured the thought in her heart, hiding it. Every little glance, every compliment she hid away, savouring them like French sweets. Every day she grew more accustomed to him, talking to him quite freely, Auntie Helen was satisfied but always on her guard to fend of any improper topics. Helen no longer longed to jab Jennifer with her elbows, but at times she marvelled at the transformation of her young niece. She was far from turning into a flirt, but her engaging ways would soon border on the improper. She had a hunch that the girl still harboured dreams of love for the young lieutenant, but since Jennifer had not brought the subject up, she could not advice her. Aunt Helen was still not quite convinced of the lieutenant's love, she knew too much of sailors and their bond to the sea. She did indeed see warm regard in his gaze, but she could not find the passion she knew her niece had wanted. The dark oceans already held his heart, if she knew anything of sailors and their ways. After all, she too had loved a sailor… But she knew better now, knew that a comfortable match was the one best sought. But she did not know how to tell Jennifer that.

Many of the conversations between Norrington and Jennifer Hawk came to be on the subject of their future. He was hard tried to remember all the details of the small lodging he had acquired for them, and she constantly teased him to tell her more stories from the distant seas he sailed. She felt it was her duty to be aware of his work and lifestyle. Of course she wouldn't follow him into battle, that was not a job for a lady but she would stand by him on all other occasions. His tales of the punishments for pirates, the hangings, had made her feel a bit sick, but if that was what it took, she would stand by him then as well. Probably with her eyes closed, but that could hardly matter. She wanted to make him proud, to make him a pleasant home. So dear was he to her, that even tales of hangings could not deter her.

– I hope these stories do not frighten you, Miss Hawk, Norrington said, making Aunt Helen shake her head ever so slightly. I am not used to pretty talk; I'm just a simple sailor.

He smiled at her at an angle he deemed dashing.

– Not just a simple sailor, surely, Ja….lieutenant.

– Believe me, Miss Hawk; I am quite unaccustomed to such fine company as this…

Inwards he cringed. Every word he uttered to her seemed to hold a hidden compliment. A pretty game indeed, and one that seemed to greatly satisfy her, but he felt like a two-faced git. As always she flushed prettily, not noticing his innermost thoughts. But how could she, when it seemed to him that in the short time he had spent courting her, he had turned into the most perfect deceiver. Yet again he wished he could love her. Little did he know the turn his fate would take to acquiesce to his request.