A/N: Nope, I checked and I still don't own Sam, Dean, Batman, Superman, or any other character mentioned. Dang it. This one's entirely dialogue – something new for me, so sit back, envision Dean and Sam's brotherly scuffling, and enjoy! Oh, and points to the person who finds my "Easter egg."

What Else Is There To Do? Part II

Summary: What else is there to do on the road except...talk? Dean vs Sam battle of wits: Batman or Superman?

Black Rock was two days behind them, so it surprised Dean when Sam spoke out of nowhere…

"You're Batman?"

"Huh?"

"You're Batman?"

"Batman? Oh. You still on that? Come on, Sam. I was caught up in the moment."

"But Batman?"

"Hell yeah. Did you see me throw that pen? I don't care if it was luck, those guys didn't stand a chance!"

"But I don't get it. I mean, why Batman? Why not… I don't know… Superman?"

"Are you kidding? Batman was badass. Superman's just a pussy in a cape."

"Dude, he's got super strength. And super speed and heat vision."

"Details. Batman'd kick Superman's ass any day of the week."

"How do you figure? Batman has no powers. He's just a… rich, smart guy."

"That's why. Batman's got freaking intelligence. It's the ultimate superpower."

"Since when are you all about brain over brawn? Superman's invincible. There's no competition, man."

"Are you challenging me?"

"Maybe."

"Okay. Superman verses Batman in a fight. Who'd win?"

"Superman. Obviously."

"How do you figure?"

"There's just no getting away from the Man of Steel. He's got the whole package – flight, super breath, heat vision…"

"Batman doesn't need all that stuff. He knows every fighting style known to man. He's the master of stealth."

"Stealth wouldn't mean jack to Superman. All Superman'd have to do is fly to Gotham City, ex-ray everything until he finds the Batcave, then just use his heat vision to smoke him from miles away or drop a freaking mountain or skyscraper on him or something."

"Superman's not gonna pick up a skyscraper or mountain just to throw at one guy."

"Fine. Any projectile weighing several tons."

"….Did you rehearse this?"

"No…"

"Moving on. Superman doesn't kill."

"He has a respect for life."

"No, he's freaking naive. You ought to know better than anyone that some enemies…"

"I'm just saying Superman's got morals."

"Sometimes morals can be weaknesses."

"Batman's just a man. He's got weaknesses."

"Yeah, but Superman's got more."

"You sound like a two-year old."

"Well he does!"

"Like what?"

"Like Kryptonite."

"Come on! The Kryptonite argument is so weak. Even if Batman showed up with Kryptonite, it'd be like the fifteen-zillionth time Superman's ever had to face a so-called 'unbeatable' opponent with Kryptonite in his back pocket. And Superman's faced like fifteen-zillion of them. Ask them how that turned out."

"I ain't only talkin' about Kryptonite. What about the sun? Take away the sun and Superman's just an ordinary guy."

"You can't take away the sun."

"Batman could! He'd build some kind of freak laser or smoke machine or something to block out the sun…"

"…He couldn't do that…"

"…Oh yes he could! He accounts for every possible scenario. He always finds a way to disable or shutdown his enemy, and that includes building his own weapons. And it helps that he's got all the money in the world and unlimited resources. Kinda like us…only minus the money."

"…And the resources..."

"And then there's Lois Lane."

"What about her?"

"She's Superman's ultimate weakness! Batman may be a lonely SOB, but at least he doesn't have loved ones that his enemies can use against him. Tell me, how many times has Lois been kidnapped or tossed out a window?"

"I contest that."

"Oooohh. Sammy pullin' out the big guns. Usin' the big lawyer words."

"Shut up. At least Superman's got a life outside fighting crime. Dr. Phil would have a hay-day with Batman."

"You're point?"

"My point is Batman's a grown man who pretends to be a giant bat!"

"A terrifying, giant bat…"

"…who fights for vengeance, not for the benefit of mankind. His motives are so skewed it isn't even funny. Whereas Superman fights because he believes his gifts ought to be used for good."

"You don't think Batman uses his gifts for good?"

"No. Good would be using all that money and intelligence to end world hunger or something."

"Come on. No one likes Superman. His costume's totally gay!"

"He's an alien. Give him a break. Besides, Batman didn't dress Robin in spandex for better flexibility, if you know what I mean."

"…."

"See?"

"Dude, that's just wrong."

"You give?"

"Hell no."

"What other argument is there?"

"Batman's alter ego is better than Superman's."

"Batman's alter ego? Dean, Batman was the alter ego. That's what makes Superman so different from Batman. Superman was born Superman – Clark Kent is the mask, whereas Bruce Wayne..."

"Bruce Wayne is a ridiculously good-looking and filthy, stinking-rich bachelor who can have any woman he wants. Clark Kent is a nerdy newspaper boy who knocks things over and doesn't even have the stones to ask out the girl of his dreams. Long story short, Batman would kick ass and bang Lois Lane, all in one night."

"You're unbelievable."

"And what's with all the L's in Superman, anyway? Lex Luther, Linda Lee, Lois Lane, Lana Lang… Mmmm, Lana. I'd totally go for Lana."

"Are you finished?"

"No. And then there's their bad-guy equals. Superman's arch-nemesis is what? A rich bald guy?"

"Lex Luthor, and I think you're words for it were filthy, stinking-rich bald guy. Not to mention super-genius…"

"…and Batman's arch enemy is a psychotic clown and his merry band of homicidal circus freaks."

"…."

"I knew that one would get ya."

"…Yeah, shut up."

"Hey Sammy?"

"What?"

"Wanna go see Dark Knight?"

Dean 2; Sam 0.

A/N: Okay, okay, so when I originally had this in mind I wanted Sam to win since Dean won the last round, but the further I got, the more I realized Dean would have to triumph once again. He's just a Batman kinda guy. I did a LOT of research people, so before any Superman fans throw their computers at me, let me say that I'd take Superman over Batman any day. It just came down to Sammy and his clowns.