Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters.
Pairings: Emma/Regina
Title: The Other Side
Chapter Two: Please Don't Say You Love Me
The room was silent as she stood and dressed herself. Would are never spoken once the act is completed. I don't know if it's because neither one of us want to admit what's happening, or if it's simply because we don't know what's happening. I have gone to her for comfort and now she's come to me for comfort. She turns around as she start buttoning up her blouse, I can tell by the look in her eyes that there is something she wants to say, and still she says nothing. I want so badly to reach for her and ask her to stay but the door opening downstairs ruins any chance I might have had as she disappears into a cloud of purple smoke.
I lay back on my bed staring at the ceiling. I can hear Mary Margaret and David downstairs, I'm guessing they think I've gone somewhere because they'll currently talking about me. I try to tune them out but once they mention Regina's name I can't help but tune in a little more, trying to catch every detail to make sure that Regina and I haven't been caught because I can assure you if someone finds out about her and I, Regina will most likely put an end to whatever it is we have going on. After all, according to the evil queen, love is a weakness.
There used to be an empty space
A photograph without a face
But with your presence, and your grace
Everything falls into place
Love? Did I really just refer to what Regina and I have as love? It can't help love, I mean less that a year ago we didn't even really like one another. But then again they say love is a mysterious thing, and nothing normal ever happens in my life. After all I am the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, and now i'm fighting the Wicked Witch and all her evil flying monkeys. "Maybe Regina can bring him back..." suddenly I sit up in bed, holding the sheet closely to my naked body. Bring who back? "She's done it before, with Daniel." Mary Margaret says.
"I don't know," I hear David chim in. "Remember when she brought Daniel back? It wasn't exactly what she hoped it would be. He wasn't who she hoped he would be." That's true, the Daniel that returned for Regina, wasn't the Daniel she lost all those years ago. I didn't know Regina then, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand her pain, I mean at the time I still wondered what happened to Neil the night he set me up and I was sent to jail. I felt like I lost someone I loved and at the time I would have done anything just to see him again, mostly to ask him why, but also just to see the man I once loved. That probably would have been better that the actual reunion we actually got.
"It couldn't hurt to ask her right?" Mary Margaret says drawing my attention back downstairs. "What's the worse she can say? No." I can almost hear the wheels in David's head turning as he is thinking about the idea. I want to scream out, to let them know that i've been here the whole time listening and that I don't want them to bring Neil back or to even ask Regina to bring Neil back. Wait. Could she bring Neil back? Is that something that is actually within her power? I mean when she brought Daniel back she had something of his so wouldn't she need something of Neil's? The only thing have of Neil's is the necklace that i wear around my neck, which means they would need me in order to bring him back, and I would never agree to it. Would I? Would I do it for Henry?
"I guess it couldn't hurt to ask," I heard David say. The next thing I hear is the door closing as they both leave the apartment, neither one of them ever knowing of my presence. Now I have to get to Regina's office before the two of them.
...
The only thought in my head as I head to Regina's office is that I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea with what Mary Margaret and David are asking. I hope she doesn't think that I asked them to ask her, I hope she doesn't think I want Neil to come back. I mean I wouldn't be mad if he did, I'm sure it would be good for Henry, but as far as I'm concerned it would just be nice to have a friend back. Am I worried for myself or for Regina? Am I worried about loosing Regina and whatever we have if she gets the wrong idea about this whole thing? Should I be worried? Do we have anything worth saving?
Those are the questions I'm asking myself as I park my car outside Regina's office, and as I do I see Mary Margaret and David walking out of the office building. Either Regina wasn't there or she didn't give them the answer they were hopping for, or worse, she gave them the answer they were hopping for. Either way I wait until they are far enough away to where they won't notice me entering the town hall. Not that it would matter if they saw me, after all I am the town Sheriff, so it wouldn't be weird to see me walking into her office. Although since Regina and I aren't supposed to like one another, maybe it would be a little odd.
When I get to her office door I hesistate before entering, and sure enough there is sits. All proper and mayor like. "I know why you're here," she says without even looking up and she continues signing whatever paperwork she's signing, which of course never really made any sense to me. Storybrooke isn't a real town, no one knows it's here, so who is she signing paperwork for? "You want Neil back, huh?" she says setting her pen down and looking up, folding her hands in front of her.
"No!" I say almost to forcably, I turn and close the door behind me. "C'mon Regina, you know I don't want me back, at least not for me," I comment walking over to her, behind her desk, I stand in front of her as she turns in her chair to look at me.
"Do I?" She asks raising an eyebrow. "Now why would I think you don't want him back? He's the father to your son, he's the love of your life, he's a good guy and he is definatly someone you can bring home to Snow White and Prince Charming," she comments. "What reasons would you have for not wanting him back?" She asks almost challanging me.
"Because of you," I say seriously, bending down. We don't do this, Regina and I. We don't have these moments. We know what we have and this is definatly not it. We don't talk about our feelings, we don't express any feelings, we both turn to each other for comfort and then go about our day. That's all. But there is this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach with the thought of loosing Regina and whatever we have that just won't go away. "You, and whatever the hell this is, that's my reason."
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
"And what is this Emma?" The sound of my name catches me off guard. Regina never says my name, maybe once or twice in a serious situation, and whenever she does it is never expected. "A one night stand here and an afternoon quickie here? I wouldn't exactly call that anything."
"Wow," Her words hurt more than I expect them too. "That may be all it is," I bursh it aside, not wanting her to see that she hurt me, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she noticed. "But at least it's something, it's more than I've had with someone in a long time."
She laughs, and that's not something I expect either. Is this the evil queen shinning through? Is this the way Regina protects herself from heartbreak? I want to yell and ask her why she's laughing, I want to grab her shoulders and shake her and ask her why she's belitting whatever we have, because I know it means something to her. I can see it in her eyes whenever we're together. "Ms. Swan," she says standing up, which in turn causes me to stand up. "We could never have anything," she says looking me in the eye and for the first time it's actually hard for me to read her. "I'm the evil queen. I don't even have my heart for goodness sake so what could I honestly feel for you." I step back, hurt evident.
But then I see it, the glimmer in her eye that lets me know she's lying. It something she does when other people are around, when she doesn't want anyone else but me to know what she's feeling. The first time I saw it was in Neverland when we were tyring to rescure Henry. "I will bring Neil back for you," she says moving around her desk, walking away from me, and that's when I hear them. Mary Margaret and David.
"She wasn't...oh there you are. We were just looking for you," David says as he enters the office. They couldn't have possibly have heard what her and I were talking about, which makes me wonder if she was telling me the truth. Is there really nothing here between us? Was it all in my head? Those moments we shared in her bed, the way she gripped me when she was having a nightmare. The way she held me when I cried about Neil. The moments we shared the morning after our first time when she told me some of her deepest fear was never loving again. Was that all a lie? Was it all just to get me into her bed?
"Here I am," I say spreading my arms wide. "Regina and I were just discussing some town business, me being the Sheriff and all." I comment smiling. "What's going on? What's this I hear about bringing Neil back?"
"Regina said she could do it," Mary Margaret comes over to me, smiling happily. "She would just need something of his," she comments pointing to my necklace. "Something for his spirit to hold on to, or something."
"It's actually very simple," she says walking over to me and grabbing a hold of the necklace, her eyes looking onto mine. "This necklace holds him to you, using you and this necklace, I should be able to bring him back easily..." she trails off breaking eye contact with me. "But there is one more condition," she says turning around so that all three of us can look at her and she can look at us.
"What's that?" David asks.
"Emma has to want Neil to come back in order for this to work," she says catching my eyes once again. "If she doesn't one hundred perfect want Neil back, using her won't work," she finishes.
I guess that's the real question seperating Regina and I and a real relationship. Do I want Neil back? And I only with Regina now, doing whatever we're doing, becuase i'm trying to fill a void left by Neil? Is that the real reasons she's guarding herself? "Emma?" Mary Margaret says breaking me from my internal question, my interal struggle so to speak, a struggle i've been having more and more ever since Regina and I started this thing.
Neil...do I want him back? I look between David and Mary Margaret. Neil is definalty the type of man i could bring home to them, they would be proud to welcome him to our family. I look to Regina. What will happen to us if I say yes, will she finally give into whatever this is, or will she continue to pull away and guard herself? Is it a lost cause with her?
Should I just throw in the towel now?
Should I ignore that feeling in my heart that is screaming for her?
And fools rush in
And I've been the fool before