Chapter 2: the snake in waiting
Chapter 2: the snake in waiting
( a few hours later at Marissa's house)
(A little boy with red hair and freckles is standing over Stewie's sleeping body which at the moment is on a couch)
Bertram: (as Stewie wakes up)Well... well... well
(Stewie sits bolt upright and looks around and notices Bertram)
Stewie: You! What are you doing here!
Bertram: I have every right to be here I live here.
Stewie: What the devil is going on! The last thing I remember was eating those... stuffed shells... it was those blasted shells... I knew those stuffed shells would cause problems.
Bertram: Only when they are drugged, big brother. Only when they are drugged. Now why don't I devulge my sister's scheme for you.
Stewie: Your sister?
Bertram: Well... our sister. Anyway... she stole your world domination plans which FYI are the most pathetic and mundane plans I have ever seen in my life. I mean if I alone could beat you in a hostile takeover than surely the government can stop you with merely a push of a button.
Stewie: My plans clearly state that I would create the biggest army the world has ever seen after obtaining all the money I needed to do so. And obvisiously we have forgotten who won in the playground war...
Bertram: Well you took me on by surprise... I wasn't ready.
Stewie: You need to wait a little longer before starting another war... or battle for that matter
Bertram: Well we'll see about that! ( takes a biological gernade and throws it at Stewie once the smoke clears we notice that Stewie has the chicken pox)
(Enter Marissa)
Marissa: Hey! I told you to leave him alone! You stupid evil genius... why don't you listen, Bertram.
Bertram: If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have known where to find him. Although I must admit I was impressed with how you manipulated that idiotic girl into telling her friend you were her cousin.
Marissa: It's a gift really... now leave Stewie alone... I need him alive and healthy... and unfrozen thank you... once I get the money you can do whatever you want with him. But until then... hands off... now go take a nap or something.
Bertram: Go to hell!
Marissa: After you, little brother, after you.
(Bertram exits)
Stewie: So you're my half sister why the deuce didn't you tell me?!
Marissa: Would you have come willingly if I did.
Stewie: No but I'd have been more corporative!
Marissa: I doubt that. Now I have to figure out how much you're worth.
(Starts typing on calculator)
Stewie: I'd say about 50,000
Marissa: Let's see if your parents feel the same way about that?
Stewie: That blasted woman and the fat man better think that or I'm screwed
Marissa: Yea like the drunk girl at a party... the one most people ignore expect the perverts... talking about ignoring
( takes out a scrub brush) here...
Stewie: What the devil do u want me to do with this?
Marissa: make a friend out of it.
Stewie: Who do you think I am... Alicia Starr?
Director: Cut!
( everything freezes)
(Liz comes out)
Liz: What's the problem?
Director: We can't do that scene... no one knows who Alicia is.
Liz: But where is the scene gonna go then?
Director: We'll just skip to the next chapter.
Liz: Death is a bitchy messenger? Are you sure we want that one now?
Director: Just let me handle this... no Alicia
(Director walks away and Liz goes over to the camera guy, Alicia, and Billy)
Liz: Ok well the director doesn't want us to do this scene but we're gonna do it anyway. We just need a ploy to get into it... I've got it... (whispers to them)... ok.
Director: Ok let's start again.
( everyone gets back on stage)
Alright... Action
(Liz comes on)
Liz: Hello, I'm Liz Carmine and the scenario you were going to see has been cut. It was about a vampire who had a scrub brush as a bestfriend but if we were going to show the scenario it would look something like this... roll it, bob!
(Alicia comes on with her scrub brush)
Alicia: O what am I gonna do? No one likes me I have no friends ( creates a person on billy) I think I'll call you billy. ( changes him into a real person) Hi, Billy.
Billy: Hi, Alicia... ( they hug and Alicia gets splinters all over her body)
Alicia: Oww... being friends with you hurts... but I love you.
( the scene ends)
Marissa: Bertram !
Bertram: What?
Marissa: Come on... we're going to the news station.
Bertram: Alright just let me get my binky.
( gets binky)
Stewie: ( takes out his palm pilot without anyone noticing and types a message to death)
(Enter Debra and Ann)
Ann: I'm telling you everything is fine.
Debra: There was no answer everytime I called what do you think that means?
Marissa: O, Hi... Mom and Mom. I didn't expect you back so soon.
Debra: We came home early. How come you never answered the phone.
Marissa: The phone rang... I never heard... Bertram, did you disconnect the phone again?
Ann: Now don't blame the baby the phone was not disconnected.
Marissa: Can I explian this later... I've gotta go.
Stewie: Well isn't this interesting your mothers appear to be fathers.
Bertram: So what my mothers are twice the woman your mother is.
Stewie: I doubt that... your mothers might be half the man Peter is... but twice the woman as Lois? If you think that you need to meet Lois.
Bertram: Go to hell!
Stewie: You first, little brother.
Marissa: Listen, you little bastard I've had about enough of your attitude... I mean my god... you're like having another one of him (points to B)
Ann: Who's this little guy?
Marissa: O mom... this is Stewie Griffin I'm babysitting him for the weekend. I'm sorry it was something that came up last minute and I promised Denise I would.
Ann: Who's Denise?
Marissa: O just friend of mine.
(B and S laugh)
Bertram: Ha! You hardly know the girl.
Marissa:(whispers) Shut the hell up or when you wake up tomorrow morning you'll be frozen in carbonite.
Bertram: Fine. I don't want you to waste any of the carbonite anyway.
Debra: Marissa... did you threaten to freeze your brother?
Marissa: Please it's not like he couldn't do it to me.
Ann: What are you talking about? Bertram is a very good boy. He's never done anything wrong. You used to be just as good until a year ago.
Marissa: I'm not going to take this... Stewie, Bertram, and I have things to do.
(Exit Marissa, Bertram, and Stewie)
( 20 minutes ago at the Griffin house)
Brian: Meg... Stewie... Meg... Stewie? Where is everybody?
( goes into Stewie's room)
Hey, Stewie, I'm back and thanks for letting me borrow your... O
( calls Meg)
(At a motel)
West: I love Mighty mouse... he's the mightiest of all mice.
Meg: (picks up phone) Adam, could you turn that down, please.
(Mayor West turns the TV down)
Hello?
Brian: Meg, it's Brian... I just got home and I was wondering is Stewie with you?
Meg: No... I'm on a date with Adam... Stewie is suppose to be there with my friend's cousin Marissa.
Brian: Marissa left and said that you had come home and you were with Stewie.
Meg: I haven't left since I got here. Wait... you're telling me that Stewie is missing?!
Brian: He isn't here Meg... where is he?
Meg: I don't know but I'll be right there
( hangs up the phone)
I'm sorry Adam I gotta go... family emergency.
West: I understand, Meg.
( she exits)
(Meanwhile at the fancy restaurant)
Lois: Peter, maybe we should go home.
Peter: Why would you want to do that? We finally have a night to ourselves, Lois.
Lois: I just can't enjoy myself tonight. I keep thinking of Stewie staying with Marissa... we hardly know her... she could be just as bad as Ladon
Peter: Don't worry Lois I know something that will take your mind off things in no time.
Lois: Peter, the last time you said that we got arrested and spent the night in jail for a DUI charge while being completely naked and running over an old woman trying to cross the street.
Peter: We won't end up in a situation like that again... unless you want us to.
Lois: I don't.
Peter: ( takes out a box) this is for you, Lois.
Lois: (opens the box and looks a peter) O Peter ( cries with joy) The ring is beautiful... you are the most wonderful man in the whole world.
( Peter and Lois Sing (Song: But I'm Yours))
( they kiss)
(Brian calls the restaurant that Lois and Peter are at)
Brian: Hello? Is Lois Griffin there?
Waiter: One moment please...
( the waiter goes to the table)
Mrs. Griffin... O I'm sorry... but the telephone is for you.
(Stops kissing Peter)
Lois: Thank you (picks up phone) Hello?
Brian: Lois... it's Brian... I just got back
Lois: O Brian, how was your trip?
Brian: Fine Lois, but we have a problem... it's Stewie...
Lois: Stewie?! O my god what's the matter with Stewie is he sick... I knew getting a baby sitter was a bad idea!
Brian: No he's not sick... he's missing
Lois: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S MISSING! IS the babysitter there?
Brian: No she left
Lois: We'll be right there! ( hangs up phone) Peter get the check we've gotta go
( 3 hours later at the news station)
(Marissa runs into the news station)
Marissa: Tom Tucker, I need you to read this over the air!
Tom: I'm afriad I can't do that we have a lot of news to report today
Marissa: That wasn't a request it was a order now do it!
Tom: Why should I do that?
(Marissa takes out her laser gunand points it at Tom)
O ok... if you put that way.
( the news starts)
Tom: Hi, I'm Tom Tucker
Diane: And I'm Diane Simmons
Tom: This just in... Mr. And Mrs. Griffin
if you ever want to see your son again you should bring a suitcase of 50, 000 to Mayor West's office by
12pm Saturday or I'll drown your son in the ocean
Sincerely,
Marissa Theahart