I own all that is in here.

Is it wrong that I like English more than math? Is it wrong that I like writing more than spelling? Is it wrong that I choose not to be free? Is it wrong that I like someone who can't like me back? And most importantly, is it wrong that I love someone who's in love with someone else?

To other people, they would have gone crying to their family about this situation. Or perhaps spill out to a friend. But not me. No one would understand. Not now, not ever. They would give you the classic "if you don't like it, get over it" advice. And believe me, whatever they tell you, all ends up to that. No help. And besides, the guy I'm helplessly in love with is dating one of my friends. Helen.

She's pretty if I may say so. But that's just that. Pretty. No, I am not saying just pretty out of jealousy. I'm saying just pretty out of the truth. Sure, she's my friend, but that doesn't mean when she does something I know is wrong I'll back her ass up. She's pretty by the whole package. Meaning to say, she's got some looks, but none of which the personality a guy could fall for. Should fall for. Brown eyes, thick black curly shoulder-length hair, and a pretty good French accent from someone coming from Syria.

And this is where I stand. Long black hair, big brown almond shaped eyes, and naturally arched eyebrows. Excelling in English, average in math, and failing in French. I can be musical, at the right times, sometimes the wrong. I'm nearly a pro at volleyball. I'm sarcastic, a little too sarcastic to the point where I can get into big trouble. And a two sided personality. Sadly, no one's ever taken the time to see the good other side.

It's not like one person can change what a whole school of children think.

And now, to describe the leading man in my story. Adrian. The all time sport freak. A jock if you may. Tall, dark, and deadly. Tall for his age. Black, shaggy hair, dark brown eyes, always happy. Always mischievous. Cute smile, and to top it all up, a six pack abs.

It's pretty sad for me though. Considering the fact that no matter, I will always care. I will always need him. I will always want him. And I know I will always love him. From the moment we first held-eye contact, I knew it then and there. He was it. He was the one for me. It didn't matter if we we're still only 6th grade at the time. When I know something, I know it well. Look at things now, already in 8th grade, and I'm still head-over-heels for the guy.

I dreamt of him. It was so clear. So close. So painful. I was talking to him. A civilized conversation for the first time ever. Then all of a sudden, Helen appears out of thin air. Almost purposely. She smiles at him, winks almost. He smiles too, sighs and takes her by the hand. And as if I wasn't ever there, talking to him, he walks right past by me, as she walks right through me.

As if I can just wake up and go to school like nothings wrong. And as a matter of fact, I do.

One thing I love about going to school is how I get there. I walk to school. Walking for me is like "Eryne time". I get to think. The serene sound of nature, the only thing I hear. The only comforting sound I can get.

Reaching towards school property, I see one of my best friends Chelsea run up to me. Giving me a random hug, followed by Claudia and Megan. I look around for Helen.

"She's with Adrian." Claudia answered, knowing my thoughts, giving me a knowing look. The only two people, who know about my infatuation, are Chelsea and Claudia. My BFF's since birth.

"Let's go to them!" Megan suggests. And even though it pains me to be near them both at the same time, I do as they say anyway.

Because no matter what I do. I should know by now that I can never change anything. I can't change how they feel about each other. And I can't change how I feel about Adrian. . .

"Yeah, well you're emo girl, if I'm a jock. And who says jocks can't be smart?" He argues as we walk home together. Helen rides the bus, and I walk home. Greatly, and sadly, so does Adrian. And he walks by the same route.

"Statistically, jocks can't be smart academically. Because then that would make you seemingly too perfect. Which you're not. No offense." I spoke softly. It's been years. We always walked home together. We always spoke to each other even though in an uncivilized manner. And yet, my stomach bubbles, my throat bursts, and my mouth dries up. I can never think straight around him, especially alone. I just act upon whatever. He's my only weakness. No matter how many times I try to convince myself and everyone around me that I hate him, I know that deep down, it's the complete opposite.

"You are a mean person." Let the teasing begin. I rolled my eyes at him. He pokes me repeatedly in the sides. I jerk away instantly.

I never liked being tickled, poked, or touched randomly. Especially by him. Any replied-reaction to his poking or tickling is counted as flirting right back at him to his current girlfriend.

Especially in our school.

St. Bartholomew.

Even for a catholic school, drama gets around faster than an SSC Ultimate Aero.

"Ticklish?" His deep voice bringing me out of my reverie. Smirking as if he knew me so well. And truth to be told, he might just know me so well. I'm quite obvious if I may say so.

"Psh, no I'm not." I turned, looking away from him.

"OH, yeah sure. Of course you're not, how silly of me." He shook his head. Feigning disappointment in himself. . The sarcasm was evident though, dripping in his every word.

I offered him a weak laugh, "yeah, silly you. . ."

Shooting me a weird out look as we crossed the pedestrian sign. Heading our separate roads, waving each other a subtle goodbye, I secretly whisper to myself, "I'll miss your company."

"Moron, I pity you so much! You know, it's like a love story. A really, really, really sad love story. I swear they can make a movie out of your life. Like they did on that movie. Except, it's a love kind of a story. I bet it would top Romeo and Juliet." Claudia squealed in excitement. It's not that she loved drama; it's just that . . . she thought it made so much more sense for me and Adrian to be together. And I don't blame her.

"It's not like that dork. It's harder to accept things, than to live by." I rolled my eyes at her.

"But it's different. I KNOW you two were meant to be together! When it comes to social life, love life, and fortune, I Claudia am never wrong. EVER!" she pressed. She

was so persistent on Adrian and I.

I turned to my left and was met by green flashing lights. 7:30, it read out. "Oh crap! I got to get going, I'm going to be late. Bye Claudia!" I picked my bag up and rushed out of her room.

"Adios, Eryne!" she called from her room.

I ran my way home. The autumn breeze brushing past my face, blowing my hair backwards. My breaths came in huffs and puffs, and I knew I couldn't run any longer. I slowed my run down to a jog, soon coming to a walk. Just a couple of more steps and stairs. I encouraged myself.

Although I must admit, I was never really good with the pep-talks. In fact, if I were to say it bluntly, I was never really good at much. A total fail. In everything. To everyone. To him. . .