In which Kirk and Spock goth up! Not the most serious chapter in the world!
2.
"Captain, I do not think I can do this" protests Spock, back on board ship in the wardrobe department.
"Sure you can Spock, we've had to do weirder than this on undercover missions before"
Kirk is, as always, rather enjoying the experience and, having already poured himself into a pair of black leather pants and fishnet shirt, is spraying every last hint of movement out of his hair.
"Holy crap!" yells Bones, bursting in through the door – "I heard what you were up to and it sounded too good to be true – I had to come and see this for myself!" He grins delightedly – "Jim, you look …um ….hot!"
Spock looks away quickly, pretending he had not been having the exact same thought and that this distraction was not, in fact, his entire problem with this mission.
"Damn straight Bones –" Kirk grins, spraying his hair like a rock star – "Though I'm certainly not that I am one sexy beast"
"Huh. I'm oddly tempted to agree – in fact, I'm starting to wonder why we only had that one time –"
"Mm –" Kirk cringes at the memory – "I'm thinking partly because I was so drunk I passed out in the bath after you were so drunk you were sick on my back"
"Fair point" shrugs Bones, noticing that Spock has started to loom very close behind Kirk during this exchange.
"Oh don't worry Spock –" Bones says, reading that expression well enough – "I'm not gonna fight you for him – he's all yours."
"Indeed" says Spock darkly – "Though I fear he may need reminding of this fact –" he clamps a territorial hand on the back of Kirk's neck and Kirk is torn between awkwardness and arousal. Bones looks away, desperately pretending that he has not just seen Kirk's cock twitch in those compromisingly tight trousers.
"Here –" Spock says, fastening a studded leather collar around Kirk's neck before he can protest, trying very hard to make it look like he is simply helping him to dress and not like he is taking a faintly sadistic joy in putting him in his place – "It goes with your ….look" he says, witheringly.
"Heyyyy –" Kirk preens, looking in the mirror – "It really does – hey!" he protests, when Spock takes the hair spray out of his hand –
"Captain, may I suggest that you have enough hair product –"
"Yeah – to sink a small ship, in your hair!" finishes Bones.
"Indeed" agrees Spock.
"Fiiiine –" Kirk moans like a teenager – "Gimme eyeliner – also Spock please get something on that is gothically valid – that is not goth – I don't even know what that is. Bones can I borrow those genuine antique Doc Martens you like to pretend you don't have?"
"Hell no!"
"Please Bones? Please please please – I've wanted an excuse to wear them forever!"
"No!"
Kirk makes big eyes at him, attempts to flutter his eyelashes while still doing make – up and jabs himself in the eye with the eyeliner.
"Oh alright" sighs Bones, laughing at the cursing, swearing Captain – "Since that was so damn funny – I'll get them." He leaves Kirk to jump around and curse for a while –
"Holy Christ! How do people do this on a regular basis?"
"Frankly Captain I was more wondering why?" says Spock, re- emerging. Kirk gulps; he is now wearing and red waistcoat with black shirt and black leather gloves –
"Spock, you look like a Victorian undertaker –" Kirk sighs, tipping his head to the side, he then nods – "It'll do. Quick, help me do my nails."
"Captain we really do not have the time. Phaedrus could have moved on by the time we are finished."
"We have to take some time Spock, do you know how long these people can take to get ready? Besides, I'm guessing his main purpose in this club is to lure a victim – right?"
"That does sound like a logical deduction Captain."
"Exactly, and tying to pull a goth is like trying to squeeze a baby through a keyhole –"
"Impossible?"
"Time consuming. Believe me. I've tried."
"To – squeeze a baby through a keyhole Captain?" Spock frowns, concerned.
"No you idiot, to pull a goth."
"I cannot say I am familiar with the term "Pull" in this sentence –" Spock says coldly, frowning – "Though I think I can infer from context."
"Good man. Now help me with my nails."
"Captain?" Spock says, a moment later, as he sits, patiently painting Jim's nails black – "Why would people take up so much time in getting read, when the "look" as you put it will only last perhaps several hours? Surely appearances are not that important?"
"You have a lot to learn about humans Spock. Appearance can be everything – after all people do judge us whether we want them to or not, we can at least choose in which way we wish to be judged – after all you choose to present a front of logic and indifference to the world, do you not?"
"That is not relevant, I am both logical and –"
"Bull – shit Spock. It's a face as much as a dress code is – we humans jus don't have your ability to create as efficient a front mentally, so we do it with – with clothes and paints if you like."
"Valid. And this subculture specifically?"
"Everyone says their own thing Spock – that's defined by oneself not by the subculture they chose to join, we pick the social groups we feel we can the most express ourselves in, they don't pick us. There's morbidity in the gothic subculture I guess, and hope all at once, freedom of expression –"
"Rebellion?"
"Perhaps. Everyone rebels in a different way – some by dressing different from their parents, some by trashing their parents' stuff so it can't get used by some sadistic cunt asshole –" he breaks off quickly – "For example" he says a little too carefully, shrugging a little too casually. Spock raises an eyebrow, not missing a thing –
"Or by joining Starfleet in defiance of paternal disapproval Captain?"
Kirk meets his eye in the look that says quite clearly – I see we understand each other -
"Spock, sometimes I think we're more alike than you would like to think."
"Spock opens his mouth to protest this as an insult when McCoy comes back in –
"Okay you big pair of girls! Here's the boots Jim – if you get one scratch on them so help me I'll –"
Only Spock notices Kirk wince slightly at the familiarity of those words, he covers it quickly –
"Bones, when would I even breathe too hard on something I've been told not to get a scratch on?" he smiles excessively innocently and Spock gets the sudden perplexing image of a red 65 Chevy Corvette flying over the edge of a precipice – I'll explain that one to you later Kirk sends to him as he puts his boots on –
"Thanks Bones" he says – "You won't regret it." Bones raises his eyebrows
"I already do" he sighs – "You two ready?"
Kirk takes a final look in the mirror; Spock and McCoy both roll their eyes and Kirk nods at himself appreciatively.
"Good god man! This is a capture mission, not a night on the town!"
"I regret to say I agree with the doctor –" concurs Spock, Bones glaring at him – "We should beam back down immediately."
"Yea yeah, I'm coming – oh and – Spock?"
"Yes captain?"
- You look hot! I want you to touch me everywhere with those gloves on! Damn, I want you to do everything in the world to me –
"You look – good" is all he says, nodding.
_x_
Coming soon – Gothically valid drinks, Alice Cooper lyrics and Kirk on a dance floor! Enjoy!