**ALL CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING MORTAL INSTRUMENTS RELATED BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

Chapter Songs:

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

I Will Be Here - Steven Curtis Chapman

Guardian - Sarah Fimm

*All songs and lyrics belong to their respective owners*

Clary was sitting with Izzy, Simon, Magnus and Alec at their lunch table waiting for Jace to arrive. She watched as Magnus and Alec talked with their heads low and close and Izzy showed Simon a magazine that she was sure he had no interest for.

A tingling sensation hit her, and she felt as if she was being watched. Nervously she turned to look over her shoulder and sure enough someone was looking at her. It was the new guy, Sebastian Verlac. As soon as they made eye contact, Clary turned back around and stared at the table.

When she found out that he was a new student, she tried to be friendly. She knew that Jace was clearly marking his territory by keeping his arms around her waist. As if there was a question about whom she belonged to. But she still didn't know what to make of Sebastian, or his cousin. It was hard to tell that they were related. He was tall and muscular with pitch black hair and piercing eyes, whereas she was shorter and lean with dark brown hair and slightly almond-shaped eyes. She was pretty, very pretty, and she clearly knew it. After she so openly checked Jace out, Clary had to force herself not to shout he's mine! at the girl. If one thing was for sure, they definitely fed off each other's confidence – their brief encounter proved that. Once Aline showed up, Clary noticed Sebastian stand a bit taller and visibly check her out. Even after being introduced as Jace's girlfriend. Yes, she decided, she and Jace were definitely going to avoid them.

The uncomfortable feeling of being observed didn't go away until Jace showed up. "Hey there, beautiful." He came up from behind and pecked her lightly on the cheek.

Once he sat down next to her, Clary whipped her head around and caught her lips with his. It only lasted a quick second, but when she pulled back she had a smile on her face. All her anxieties pushed to the back of her mind. "Hello to you too. How was your morning?"

Jace pulled Clary's chair close to his and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Boring, but this afternoon looks promising." Out of four afternoon classes, Clary had three of them with Jace; as opposed to her morning classes where she didn't share any with him.

"I would hope so," she smiled and kissed him lightly again. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

"No, what do you want to do?"

Clary turned so she faced Jace and batted her eyes a little. "Well, Jonathan won't be home which means I'll be all by myself." Her voice was full of mock innocence and heavy with intimation.

"Hmm," Jace tightened his grip on her slightly, "I guess I'll have to come keep you company then, won't I?"

"I would greatly appreciate it." Although they were in their high school cafeteria and conversations were being held around them, Clary leaned in and met Jace's lips with hers. His lips, soft and smooth, moved gently against hers.

Like always, the world disappeared leaving only Clary and Jace. She let herself be surrounded by his scent, his taste, his essence. He was the light that shined through the darkness the previous years of her life had cast. Without him, she'd still be lost.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but figured it had to be at least twenty minutes when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

"I guess we should go to class," Clary broke hesitantly broke away and looked at Jace.

"I guess so," he replied before stealing another small kiss. He got up and as he carried his tray to the trash Clary noticed that it was barely touched.

"You didn't even get to eat anything. I feel awful." Picking up her own half-empty tray, she knew that Jace probably didn't mind. But he was still a guy and she knew that he liked to eat.

Jace laughed, "Don't worry about it , Clary. I'll get us something to eat tonight, alright?"

"Alright," before he could wrap his arm around her she quickly added, "I'm going to go to the bathroom before class so I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay." She could feel Jace's gaze on her back as she exited the cafeteria alone.

Once she reached the bathroom and made sure that she was the only in there, Clary flipped the lock on the door and occupied one of the stalls. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind of all her doubts about what she was about to do. Even though she's done it before, the nervous feeling never went away. It's the only way I'll ever be pretty enough for Jace. She reasoned with herself before sticking two fingers down her throat and emptying the contents of her stomach in the toilet.

oOo

Jace wasn't an idiot. Hell, he was probably one of the smartest students in the school. So when Clary rushed in the classroom with a mere 30 seconds to spare he knew what just happened. She was flushed and when he pushed back a loose strand of hair from her face he could see a little bit of sweat on her forehead. When kissed him lightly on the cheek he could smell the mint gum she was chewing that she wasn't chewing at lunch.

He knew what she just did. It's happened before. He mentally noted the amount of times she went to the bathroom after lunch or when she didn't eat at all.

What he didn't know was why. Why did she feel the need to put herself through it? Lord knows he's tried to talk to her about it, but every time he'd chicken out. For the past several months he tried a different approach. Whenever she was with him he bought her food and didn't let her out of his sight; he's made her feel beautiful in every way he could. But he couldn't be with her 24/7.

Clary turned to him and smiled sweetly, which broke his heart. He wanted to be the one to make her feel better. He didn't want her to throw up everything she ate just so she could feel confident about her appearance. She was so thin to begin with that Jace feared if she got any skinner she would completely fade away to nothing. He hated that she felt so insecure about herself. Couldn't she see that she was beautiful. So beautiful that it hurt him sometimes?

As their English teacher settled down the class, he whispered in her ear, "You are so beautiful."

Clary blushed, "Thank you." She turned from him and pulled out her sketchbook along with her notebook for the class.

Jace leisurely took notes on Shakespeare while somewhat paying attention to teacher in the front of the room. His main focus was Clary. It didn't take her long to abandon her notebook and move to her sketchbook. In fact, the only thing she wrote seemed to be the date. Looking over her shoulder, Jace snuck a peak at what she was drawing. He smiled when he saw it was himself with a pair of wings.

"Are you trying to look at my drawing, Wayland?" Clary whispered without looking up.

"How do you know that I'm looking?" He whispered back. They may sit in the back of the class but they could still be heard if they talked too loud.

"I could feel you breathing down my neck. Literally." She smirked at him as she closed her sketchbook on her incomplete drawing and started taking notes on what the teacher was saying. How she could pick up right in the middle of class and understand everything was beyond Jace.

Their next class went the same way, for the most part. This time Clary didn't even bother pulling out her notebook, she never paid attention in Math. Jace just chuckled as the teacher began the lesson. As the class went on he found it harder and harder to concentrate on what was being taught. He was hyper-aware of Clary sitting so close to him and the urge to touch her made his hand twitch. Over the past two years, Jace has realized that the more time he's spent with Clary had made him want to spend more time with her.

During History, the last class they had together, the teacher put on a video – swearing that they would have a quiz on it – and turned the lights out. After watching the third student fall asleep, Jace pulled Clary close to him and wrapped his arms around her – not unlike the position they were in at lunch. Her small body seemed to fit perfectly with his, as if they were molded for each other.

Clary must have liked the video because not once did she touch her sketchbook. However, Jace couldn't concentrate on it, not with Clary in his arms. To any outsider they may look like a peculiar couple; Clary's curly red hair and pale complexion and Jace's golden eyes and hair and tan skin was not a combination seen often. But Jace couldn't but think they were perfect for each other in every way.

oOo

When the teacher turned the lights on, signaling the end of class, Clary and Jace broke apart from their embrace. She looked around and saw some other students lifting their heads up off their desks. Clearly they didn't' think the video on women suffrage was interesting.

Jace walked Clary to her next, and last, class: world geography. Jace had a free period and he usually spent it playing piano for the chorus class. They took their time walking down the hall, acknowledging the smiles and "hi's" they got, and stood outside the door.

"Why are you taking two history classes back to back again?" Jace asked. They were leaning against a wall, facing each other, and he was running his hand up and down her arm. It felt familiar and soothing. Clary gave a little smile at the comfortable gesture before answering his question.

"Because the guidance counselor thought it would be a good idea." She rolled her eyes. "I just wish I had a free period like you – with you."

Jace smiled but before he could respond a voice from behind Clary cut him off.

"Maybe that's why she didn't give you a free period. Who knows what you two would have done. Or where." Clary turned to see Izzy, standing in the doorway, fake shudder.

"I resent that, you know," Jace said to his adoptive sister. "I have standards. Even I know the supply closet has lost its class."

"Let it go down in history that Jace was the one who mentioned the supply closet. Not me."

"Now let's not forget who christened the supply closet and started the whole trend, sister dear." Jace snickered at Izzy.

She threw her hands up in the air, obviously annoyed now. "Come on, it was one time! And I didn't even go all the way with Bill What's-His-Face. It's not my fault everyone decided to follow in my glorious footsteps."

Clary was amused by the sibling banter and hadn't even realized that Sebastian approached them.

"Hey, Clary." He only addressed Clary, which didn't go unnoticed by Jace. "Do you know where room 107 is?"

She may have gotten a strange vibe from him this morning, but she couldn't be rude. "Yeah, actually it's this one right here." She gestured to the room she was standing outside of, "Are you in geography too?"

"Yeah, looks like we're in the same class." Sebastian flashed a stunning smile. Clary assumed that most girls would swoon at the sight, but she's seen better. Namely Jace's smile.

"Well we should probably get inside since the class is about to start." Izzy said, looking from Clary to Sebastian (who was looking directly at Clary) to Jace back to Clary. Jace still had his hand on Clary, a possessive gesture but gentle at the same time.

He turned her so she faced him. "I'll meet you at your locker after?" When Clary nodded he lowered his head and placed a small kiss on her lips. "See you later."

Knowing that Jace's possessive and jealous nature could be a problem, Clary smiled despite herself. She was so head over heels for him and it was nice knowing that he felt the same way.

"Bye," she murmured before following Izzy and Sebastian into their classroom.

The class wasn't as bad as most of the other students thought. She found herself interested and wanting to visit some of the countries mentioned. Of course, after introducing himself to the teacher, Sebastian took the only empty seat next to Clary. She ignored his glances and stares by drawing a resemblance of the map that was on the wall, accentuating the countries that she someday hoped to see.

The hour seemed to drag on forever. All Clary wanted to do was get back to Jace so they could spend the rest of the day and night together. The map she was working on was finished and so she turned to the unfinished drawing of Jace that she started in English class. It was still a rough sketch of him as an angel. She was working on the wings when the class ended. Packing up everything except her sketchbook, Clary quickly left the room.

Unfortunately she wasn't quick enough. Sebastian caught up with her. "Hey," he kept pace with her as she made her way to her locker.

She maintained her friendliness and made causal conversation. "Hi. How did your first day go?"

"It was good. My classes weren't too hard." He supported himself against the locker that was next to Clary's. "Oh, and I really like geography." He flashed another smile.

"That's good," Clary said absently as she looked for Jace. The hall was thinning out as students left the building for the day and she couldn't see Jace anywhere. "I should probably go find Jace." Hoping he was in the music room, Clary set off in that direction.

Before she got too far, Sebastian stopped her. "I was wondering if you had any big plans this weekend, maybe we could do something?" Was he asking her out? She had a boyfriend, he knew that.

Assuming that she was spending the weekend with Jace, the Lightwoods, and Simon, Clary nodded. "Sorry."

Sebastian nonchalantly shrugged, "Oh well. Maybe next weekend." Before he could see Clary's eyebrows rise in shock, he turned on his heel and walked away from her.

Still slightly shocked from Sebastian's forwardness, Clary walked in the opposite direction to the music room. Sure enough Jace was there, playing the piano. Clary stopped in the doorway, listening to him play and sing.

I don't mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

It was her favorite song, always has been. She still remember the time she told Jace that it was her favorite.

"You don't need that song, anymore. You have me."

She smiled at the memory, and as he finished the song, she joined in. Her light, soprano voice mixed with his tenor filled the room in perfect harmonization. Jace let the last note ring before turning to face her.

"Hey," he said with a smile on his face.

"Hi, I knew I would find you in here." She saw the confused look on his face and added, "You didn't come to my locker." She wasn't looking directly at him, but past him. Obviously it wasn't anything to be concerned about, but she still felt a little embarrassed for worrying about Jace.

"Didn't you get my note? I taped it right inside." He frowned a little. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Sebastian asking her out or if she should even tell Jace. "Yeah," speaking louder, "I guess I didn't see it." Choosing to ignore his skeptical look, she grabbed his hand and decided to not mention it. For now.

They reached Jace's black Honda civic and after opening the door for Clary he climbed in and turned to her. "I was thinking we could get Chinese food or something tonight. Sound good?"

Clary kept her eyes on her hands in her lap. "Yeah, I guess." She was feeling guiltier every minute she didn't tell Jace about Sebastian. Even though there was a good chance that he meant nothing by it, she felt almost obligated to tell Jace that Sebastian had asked her to hang out this weekend.

Jace didn't turn the car on, but instead he gently placed two fingers under Clary's chin and moved her head so that she was forced to look at him. Just looking at how perfect he was sometimes hurt Clary. She often wondered if this – him – was a dream and when she would wake up, for she was way too ordinary to be with someone like him.

"What's wrong, Clary?" His golden eyes were full of concern. Concern for her. Somehow, his eyes held a power over her. Each time she looked in them she got lost, mesmerized, hypnotized. She would do anything for him.

She suddenly burst out, "Sebastian asked me out after class." Knowing this wasn't entirely true, she amended her statement. "Well, he didn't actually ask me out. He asked about my plans for this weekend and if I could hang out with him and…" She stopped herself from rambling and waited for Jace's reaction.

Jace dropped his hand from her face and looked down at the center console. Clary couldn't gage his reaction. "What did you say?" His voice was quiet and neutral.

"I said I already had plans. I didn't know what else to say." She didn't like not being able to see his eyes. "Jace?" He stayed silent. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, she tried again. "Jace, say something." Silence. "Please don't be mad at me," she half meant to say it to herself, but she said it loud enough so Jace could hear. Being afraid of an angry boyfriend might have seemed silly, dumb even. But Jace had never been angry with her. Clary didn't know what to do. She knew enough to give him space and let him think, but that was when he was mad at other people. She was the one he usually went to, now that he was mad her… She didn't know what to do. She felt the familiar pricking of tears but her eyes remained dry.

Jace slowly looked up and met Clary's eyes. They weren't cold and hard like she expected; instead they were bright and – if he was smiling – could be considered cheerful.

He lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek, his thumb rubbing her cheekbone. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her. She wanted more but he pulled away before she could really kiss him.

"How could I ever be mad at you?" He looked her right in the eye and again, she got lost in them. There was nothing she could say, words simply left her mind. So he continued. "I think I'm angrier with myself, for not being able to control my own jealousy." He humorlessly laughed; his smile didn't touch his eyes.

Now it was Clary's turn to look away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you jealous, I just needed to tell you. The fact I didn't tell you right away was eating away at me. Can we just forget that he said anything to me? Let's go eat Chinese food, okay?"

This time when he smiled it lit up his eyes. "Sure. And Clary, I am glad you told me. I just can't stand the fact that every guy in that school wants you. I'm too jealous for my own good."

"There is no way every guy 'wants' me. And besides, only one matters." She blushed a little, but smiled also.

Jace leaned to kiss her – really kiss her – then turned to start the car.

Clary waited in the car while Jace picked up the food and soon enough they were back at her house digging in. Of course, she watched how much she ate knowing that there was no way she was getting away from Jace tonight. Not that she wanted to anyway.

Jace put on a movie when they were finished, but neither them were interested in it. While it quietly played in the background they talked, made out, talked some more and Clary eventually fell asleep against Jace.

. . .

It was like watching a movie, only Clary seemed to be watching herself. She was wearing knee-length black dress, her curly hair loose at her shoulders. Looking around she saw that she was in the school gym. Lights were shining and a slow song was playing. Was she at a school dance? It was too early in the school year for there to be a dance. But here she was, standing alone during a slow song. Where were all the other people? Where was Jace? As if a door had been opened a gust of wind hit her exposed back and she shivered.

"Cold?" a familiar voice asked from behind. Jace wrapped his arms around her, effectively warming her body. For some reason she's had this tightening in her chest, only ceasing when Jace touched her. In his arms she felt safe, like nothing could hurt her ever again.

Turning to face him, she asked "Where have you been? I've been lonely."

He ran his hands up and down her bare arms, enveloping her in his warmth. "I've been here the whole time. I've always been here, and I'll never leave you."

"Good," she stood on her tip-toes, placed her hands around his neck, and kissed him. His lips were so soft and warm. All of him seemed to be warm tonight. She smiled against his mouth, grateful for this moment with him.

He moved his hand from her arms to her face, running his tongue across her bottom lip. She opened her mouth to him and felt his smooth, pliant tongue occupy her mouth.

When she pulled back, she didn't see Jace's face, but Sebastian's. Shock hit her, but once that passed she wanted to recoil or turn and run away or…something. Instead she felt herself smile. And kiss him. Again.

. . .

Clary sat straight up, eyes wide open. Her heart was beating fast and she was trying to catch her breath as if she had been holding it. As if she had really been kissing someone. She took in her surroundings and found darkness. Realizing that she was sitting on her mattress and in her room, she relaxed a little. Looking to her left she saw Jace, peacefully sleeping; on her nightstand she saw that it was just after four in the morning.

She sat against her headboard, trying to calm her breathing and heartbeat. Once they were back to normal, Clary became aware of a rumbling in her stomach. She pressed a hand to her stomach and then suddenly her other hand flew to her mouth. Whipping the covers off, she practically ran to the bathroom connected to her bedroom.

She reached the toilet just in time as she vomited. She coughed and vomited for what felt like forever, she was barely aware of a soothing hand rubbing her back and holding her hair. Tears started to cloud her vision and this time she didn't stop them.

When she was finished she stood up, walked over to the sink and wiped her face clean.

"Oh Clary," a quiet voice, Jace's voice, made her fully focus on him. Except he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at what was in the toilet.

When she hesitantly looked, the sight nearly made her vomit again. Mixed with chunks of that night's dinner was blood. Her hand was shaking as she peered at the towel she had used to wipe her mouth with, there was a smear of red on it.

Her knees were unable to hold her up and she was thankful that Jace was there to catch her. Tears fell freely from her face, but she remained silent.

oOo

There was a fairly large spot on Jace's shirt that was soaked through by Clary's tears, but he didn't mind. He only ran his hand in comforting circles on her back and pushed her hair out of the way when it fell in her face.

After a while, the tears slowed and Clary's breathing evened out. When the tears came to a complete stop, he awkwardly held Clary while he closed the toilet lid and flushed its contents. Then he scooped her light body up in his arms and took her back to her bed. Immediately after climbing in, he took her in his arms and held her tightly against him. He watched her sleep for a few minutes before giving into the darkness that was at the edge of his vision.

A/N: Well here's another chapter, a bit longer than usual. To be completely honest, this was not the way I had originally planned this chapter to go, but oh well. I hope you enjoyed it :)

Happy Birthday to Mellark's Heart! Sorry this couldn't be a Famous Last Words update but this chapter just seemed to write itself so easily :)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and/or added this story to their alerts/favorites! You guys are the sole purpose I keep writing :)