Everyone else seemed to think L's present terribly amusing, but to L, this was serious. He was properly determined now. He had never actually played Cluedo before. This would be interesting.
He steadily opened the box and lay everything out on the floor. So far, so good.
"Light, would you do the honour of reading out the rules?"
Light accepted warily with a polite "Of course, Ryuzaki." He started reading, and reading in such dulcet tones... L found that he couldn't focus on what that voice was saying and it was all he could do to let it wash over him, envelop him in Cluedo rules that were set in stone and yet so ephemeral as they flowed like honey from his lover's tongue. Well, he didn't need to listen to the rules anyway – he was L. He would relentlessly crush all competition and emerge victorious, a shining beacon of justice!
And before he knew it, the game began.
Souichiro Yagami took three cards and placed them, unrevealed, in different envelopes in the middle of the board. L nodded. This action seemed to hold a ritualistic importance to the rest of the players – L deduced that this must be central to the game in some way.
The chief sombrely dealt the remaining cards, and L was handed a small piece of paper printed with boxes against certain names rooms and objects... He glanced around and felt a stab of panic as everyone else started making markings on their pieces of paper. He tried to make sense of his piece; what kind of categorisation system was this? If you marked a box, what did it mean?
In the end, he decided to make some random markings in order to avoid suspicion. He drew an abstract expression of how he felt about Light right now. It sort of looked like a cross between a sparkly cloud and a strawberry, while still managing to be vaguely phallic.
Matsuda then piped up with "Ryuzaki, you can go first, seeing as it's your present!" L was handed a pair of dice and nodded in thanks.
This was it – the all important first throw of the dice. L wasn't sure why it was important, but it surely must be.
He rolled an 8, and searched around for something to apply the number 8 to. He looked at Light imploringly and gained the response: "Oh, of course. Your character is Miss Scarlet, Ryuzaki. It's just the one closest to you on the board." Light's tone was helpful with barely detectable undertones of "you poor inebriated thing, I shall crush you in this game of Cluedo".
L ignored this undertone, dismissing Light's crazy ideas as mere delusion. He looked at Miss Scarlet, then back up at Light from under his eyelashes, blushing. It was a moment in which a single understanding was shared between them; the understanding that L dressing up as Miss Scarlet would soon play an inevitable role in one of their lovemaking sessions.
Anyway, L snapped out of it and moved Miss Scarlet eight paces. "So Ryuzaki, enlighten us with your ideas on by who, where and with what Mr Black was murdered." prompted Light.
L saw the expectant faces of the task force. How could he be expected to draw such conclusions without looking over solid evidence? He looked at his sheet full of names, places and objects. There were 324 combinations to choose from.
"Well, statistically, the killer is most likely to be male..."
Light chuckled. "No, Ryuzaki, that's not how you play." L looked up at him with wounded eyes. Light sighed. "At this stage, all you can do is randomly pick a combination of a character and weapon in the kitchen."
L did what Light said, and chose Miss Scarlet with the dagger. Aizawa showed him a card with Miss Scarlet on. L gave a knowing nod. Aizawa returned it with a funny look.
He let the rest of the players' turns unfold. To tell the truth he felt a bit upset. When Light's turn came around, he was perfectly in control and L could practically see the cogs working in his mind.
"Hmmmmm. ...Hmmm." said Light.
L narrowed his eyes. Light was taunting him. The sexy bastard. L sacrificed a gingerbread man to the cause of trying to calm himself down. (He ate it.)
In a deliberate voice, Light declared: "Colonel Mustard, with the candlestick, in the ballroom."
Souichiro Yagami showed him one of his cards. Was Light's father helping Light, under all of their noses? Were they in cahoots? L tried to peek at it and was rewarded with a slap on the back of the head. He whined like a kicked puppy.
"Ryuzaki, you aren't allowed to do that!" Light thundered. In actuality he didn't thunder, but L's disorientated mind was distorting reality somewhat. L cowered.
"Come on Ryuzaki, it's your turn again." Said Light, with forgiving kindness. L rolled the dice and moved 6 paces around the kitchen. There was no way he was going to leave the kitchen. It was the best place to be, not only because there was food, but strategically. L could defend himself from any potential attacks with the vast array of kitchen knives a large house like this was bound to have. If Light wanted him he was going to have to shift himself out of the ballroom.
Light sighed. L probably thought no-one had noticed his inebriated state. Well, they most certainly had. They were all relatively understanding, albeit confused; they weren't really in the mood to question L's methods. The real problem here was the risk of L giving away their relationship, as he seemed wont to do. It wasn't only that Light had to keep deterring L from pawing at him, but it was the looks and general behaviour towards Light, which Light was powerless to do anything about. L was basically showing everyone that in a state of vulnerability, he would lean on Light. (Literally). This was news to Light, too, which was an upside of the situation; L was unbelievable cute when he was drunk.
Still, it would be beneficial to try and end this game as soon as possible. Light was sure this sentiment was shared by the other task force members, even Matsuda.
As if to illustrate his thoughts, L looked up at Light with puppy dog eyes as if to say; "What do I do now?"
Light smiled at him and told him to use the deductions he'd made so far to influence his suggestion of another character-weapon combination.
"Ok, Light." L looked miserably at his cards. He frowned and put his finger to his mouth. This was a tough one. He remembered Aizawa's card. Miss Scarlet. She had given results so far, so it seemed like a reasonable idea to choose her again. Well, he didn't have any better ones.
"Miss Scarlet, in the kitchen, with the scissors."
The task force ignored the part about the scissors, except Souichiro Yagami, who shook his head in despair. Aizawa showed Miss Scarlet to L again in disbelief and took in the smug look this action earned. L was pleased with this result – it looked like he was closing in on Miss Scarlet. This was definitely a lead worth following. Aizawa shrugged. At least L was enjoying himself.
Again, the rest of the task force took their turns, barely thinking about who killed Mr Black with what and where. It was a sorry state of affairs.
Then, when it was Light's turn, he gave the signal, which was a peacock noise. L jumped and looked around him suspiciously, then seemed to forget what he was looking for and uncertainly turned back to the game.
Everyone else looked vaguely surprised because they hadn't actually arranged a plan; however they all recognised that that noise had in fact been a signal of some kind and used their intuition to act appropriately. They all made some complex hand movements in Light's general direction. L decided he should join in, and began to feel Light's face. Light shoved him off, but not before the thought of how much fun he was going to have later crossed his mind.
The room fell silent; Light was about to make an Accusation.
"I am about to make an Accusation!" Said Light.
L was visibly trembling (for whatever reason).
"Reverend Green."
L nervously nibbled on a gingerbread foot.
"In the library."
L neurotically gnawed at a gingerbread elbow.
"With..."
L tormentedly tore out a gingerbread eye. (It was a sultana if you are interested.)
"The revolver!"
L gasped, spraying gingerbread gore everywhere. He was ignored.
Light picked up the prostrate (no, NOT prostate) cards. L's eyes followed them, transfixed.
There was a rushing noise in L's ears as Light turned the cards over. He slammed them down on the board – and time seemed to stop.
There was the revolver. There was the library. And there was Reverend Green, laughing at him with his eyes.
"Cluedo!" Light cried, triumphant.
What? No. No, this couldn't be...
L looked at Light, who looked right back at him, defying him.
L had really lost. This wasn't fair...
It was all too much.
L's bottom lip trembled, tears welling up in his eyes. "You know how much I hate losing to you!" He grabbed the front of Light's ribbed sweater and promptly burst into tears, burying his face in the teen's neck.
Light was speechless. L clutched at him, huge, hoarse sobs wracking his body. Light's ribbed sweater was getting all wet from L's bodily fluids. Well, no matter; this wouldn't be the first time that had happened. It was machine washable, which was one of the reasons-
He was jolted out of his reverie by L snuffling loudly, right in his ear.
Light hushed him and placed his hand on L's back, running it up and down soothingly in as platonic-appearing a way as possible. L just whimpered and clung to him, looking very sorry for himself. He paused momentarily in his snuggling and shoved another helpless gingerbread man into his mouth to console himself.
Light sighed. "I think it's best if I get him to bed." The rest of the team issued a chorus of embarrassed mutters in agreement. Though Light pretended to be exasperated, things were working out fine from where he was standing. Just fine.
He extracted himself from L's grip, much to the sobbing detective's horror, and tried to get him to follow his lead; L just remained there on the floor and curled up into the foetal position. A faint string of incomprehensible murmering could be heard, peppered with utterances of "W-why?", "How?" and "Oh, woe is me".
The reality was simple. While L had been distracted by the peacock noise, Light Had Peeked.
It didn't look like L was going to be moving of his own accord any time soon, so Light hoisted him up into his arms. L immediately calmed down a little - he seemed to like it there. He leaned his face into Light's chest, shut his eyes and sighed a shaky sigh.
Light bid good day (it wasn't even 12 o'clock) to the task force, and carried L towards the bedroom. When they were about halfway there and well out of sight of the others, something caught Light's eye. That's right - it was the mistletoe, so subtly left there by Matsuda earlier in our story. Light looked down at L, who was dozing gently. Despite his ungainly position, L seemed to have no trouble using Light as a temporary resting place. Now that he thought of it, it wasn't often that he got to witness L sleeping. He glanced at the mistletoe again. No – it wouldn't be worth it. Light brought L under the mistletoe. Instead of breaking him out of his reverie, he placed a soft, lingering kiss on his forehead.
A/N: I ended up having to watch a cluedo tutorial on youtube. I know you don't shout Cluedo when you win, but apparently Light doesn't.