Disclaimer: Everything apart from the one's NOT mentioned in the books belong to J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: Just want to say a big THANK YOU! To:
Trunks Admirer-I know the real Snape wouldn't scream anything like that, but under those conditions, who can blame him…
Otaku-nut44
Shasta- glad to have made your day.
Angelic01- you're reading this because I mailed you. Should I mail you every time I post up a chapter?
Crystal
The Slayer
Kit Cloudkicker- I know,* grins maliciously *, that's why I did it.
Madelaine
Kathelene Burnell
And more especially
A-random-Turkle – Who has really inspired me
And
Atheis- Who gave me permission to use her plot. Read her story, Man. I'm a woman, it's very good! Thanks all you guys! Now on with the fic!
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO BLOODY CURE!" Snape squeaked, her midnight black hair somehow standing straight on end.
"I'm sorry, Severus, but you will have to wait till the potion wears off."
"TILL IT WEARS OFF! WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THAT'S GOING TO TAKE! I COULD BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"
"I really don't think your screeching is going to change anything."
Snape visibly shook as she struggled to keep her rage under control. Dumbledore flashed her a smile, infuriating her even more. The headmaster addressed the rest of the staff.
Everyone's face was a deep red. Snape, from rage and the rest from trying their possible best not to laugh out loud.
"I would like to take this opportunity to plead with the entire staff body to make our um…brother's (snickers) life as pleasurable as possible in light of his present predicament."
They simply nodded.
"Minerva," her head snapped up, eyes red from unseen tears of laughter.
"Please escort Severus to a local dress shop for a change of wardrobe."
"Have you stopped to consider for a minute that I may not want to wear female clothing?" Filch couldn't stand it any longer and toppled over as he was fed a vision of the potions master in a bra. Snape glared.
Oh, come on, Sevy." McGonagall ushered as she looped her arm around 'Sevy's' and dragged her away.
I'm thinking this suits you better, Sevy,"
For the last time, don't call me by that name!
Anything you say… Ooh! This one's much better, has a softer tone, but you may also want this one for special occasions…
Minerva?
Yes?
You do realise that you've taken out more than forty-seven different shades of black?
You're right. I'm being silly, let's take them all!"
Yipee.
Just one more thing before we leave.
What?
Now for the underwear!
Snape: …* blink *
Approximately one hour later, the new and improved Severus Snape hobbled into the staff common room.
"Christ! How do you people stand this !?" she complained to McGongall as she stopped her underwear from its ride up her rear.
"And these shoes!" If I wanted to cut off blood circulation to my feet I could easily have hexed myself."
She slumped into a chair, took off her high heels and pointed her wand to her face. "What are you doing?" yelled McGonagall as water burst forth from the wand tip. "You'll ruin your make-up!"
"Well, at least I'm assured that this concoction will come of. I'm telling you, Minerva, it's coloured mortar!"
She finished getting the make-up off her face and yawned, displaying a set of sparkling white teeth, which were once yellowed and crooked.
"It's late, I'm tired and frankly, I don't think I can withstand any more torture for the day." She stood up and headed towards the door.
"Don't forget your heels."
"Do you honestly expect me to wear those torture trainers again?"
"You have to practise moving around in them." Snape put them back on amid a lot of muttering and curses.
McGonagall watched, amused, as she sauntered out with the gentle sway of the hips she had taught him to move with.
The dark figure moved deeper into the shadows as the one it had been waiting for moved clumsily by. Why hadn't it noticed before, how had it evaded it?
Well of course, the broken-in-a-hundred-places nose and the over-oiled hair were a definite turn off, but still…
It heard her footsteps echo in the deserted corridor, she must've reached the stairs by now.
"PEEVES!" I heard the object of his affection cry out, "Get away from me, you @!&*(*%^$%(*^($%^%!" The resounding echoes blocked out the last words (A/N: I couldn't think up a suitable insult for a poltergeist, tell me if you have any ideas.)
"IF YOU SHOVE ME ONE MORE TIME…"
It pained it so to hear its love in discomfort.
"HEY! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!"
A whitish blur whizzed by it as it heard its beloved crash down the steep stairs, blasting a torent of curses all the way down.
My, what language, it thought to its self as he slipped away.
A/N: ^_^ Who is the "dark figure" (I left a clue to tell you a smidge, two clues, in fact)? Will Snape ever change back? And will she ever get the hang of walking in heels? More to come! Thanks again to all you wonderful reviewers!