Remus went through the following days in a sort of zombie-like sate. He had passed up the opportunity he had been waiting for ever since the first he stepped aboard the Hogwart's Express. He had felt like a minnow swimming against a current of barracudas. The older students jostled him aside as he attempted to find a place to sit. Unfortunately all of the compartments were full. He felt loneliness wash over him as the other students called out to their friends.
As a child his parents had kept him under close watch due to the nature of his condition. Now, more than ever, he wished he was normal. He wished that he had someone to call a friend. He wanted someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Perhaps even someone who would understand him and accept him for exactly what he was. Don't kid yourself, he thought sadly, nobody could ever accept a monster. He finally reached a compartment that would have been entirely empty if it had not been for the redheaded girl sitting beside the window. He slid open the door cautiously and she turned to face him. Her eyes were a placid shade of green and she smiled at him warmly.
"May I, erm, well everywhere's full and I was sort of wondering-" he stammered.
"If you could sit here?" she finished gently.
"Yeah," he replied smiling uneasily.
"Be my guest," she moved her bag off of the seat across from her so that he could sit down. He thanked her quietly and sat making sure to direct his attention to the countryside flying past the window.
They sat in silence for a while until she cautiously broke it by introducing herself as Lily Evans.
Remus turned his attention to her, "I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."
She smiled again and they continued to sit in silence. She pulled a book from her bag and began to read. He took the opportunity to get a better look at her. She had delicate facial features and long eyelashes. Her skin was the color of cream and her hair framed her angular face perfectly.
She glanced up at him and realized he was staring at her, "Is there something wrong with my face?" she asked raising a hand to brush away an imaginary smudge.
"No," he replied smiling.
How could he deny himself the opportunity he had been waiting for? The one five years in the making. Finally on Friday night he sat in his four poster bed flipping through a book but not really taking in any of the text. James burst into the dormitory and with him came a cloud of irritation and despair. Sirius was at his heels, loyalty was obviously not just a trait he had while in his animagus form.
James flopped down face first onto his bed and groaned. Sirius sat down cross-legged on his own bed and studied James. He looked almost as sad as James was.
"What happened?" Remus asked marking his place and closing the book.
James gave a reply which was muffled by his mattress and bedsheets. Sirius thew him a pitiful glance and then turned his attention to Remus, "Lily. Evans."
"Oh," Remus nodded and suddenly found a loose thread on his comforter to be incredibly exciting. He tugged at it and watched as the comforter slowly came apart, one stitch at a time.
"Yeah, erm, apparently she's taking Snivellus to Slughorn's thing tomorrow night," Sirius scratched the back of his head uneasily and shifted his focus back to James. "You alright mate?" he asked. His voice was more tender than usual.
James mumbled something completely ambiguous.
Remus checked his watch, 9:45. It was time for him to begin his rounds. He pulled on his cloak and pinned his prefect badge to it carefully.
"Officer Lupin reporting for duty," Sirius sniggered. James either chuckled or choked in response. The bedding made it difficult for Remus to tell for sure.
Remus casually saluted Sirius with his middle finger as he left the dorm. Sirius grinned and saluted him back proudly.
He found comfort in the solitude of an empty hallway illuminated solely by torch and moon light. He was able to think clearly without the interference of his fellow classmates. His feet kept a tranquil rhythm and his thoughts managed to keep in time. He had seen James only moments earlier, reduced to a pathetic lump in the dorm. James rarely ever showed signs of weakness like that. He really cares for her, Remus realized suddenly. Was he prepared to take something so valuable from one of his best friends? He exhaled forcefully and he felt a gash at his side protest bitterly. Dizziness washed over him, spreading from his temples and down into his legs. He slumped against a stone wall for support.
"You okay there, Remus?" someone asked nervously from behind him.
He was about to turn around to see who it was when his knees gave out and he slumped to the floor. All the blood seemed to abandon his brain. His injuries seemed to abruptly stop healing. In one synchronized moment, they all began to hurt. He should have gone to the fucking hospital wing. He cursed himself angrily.
A dark shape towered over him. They brought their face to his eye level. He immediately recognized the pale face, framed by burning red hair, and embellished with glittering green eyes.
"Remus, we need to get you to the hospital wing," Lily said. He could hear the panic in her voice. He wanted to stand up and reassure her that he was indeed okay and was in no immediate need of assistance. He wanted to convince her that he was masculine. The alpha male.
However he couldn't do any of those things. He sat against the wall. His head rolled back and he felt the cool stones against the back of it. He tried to will himself to say something but he couldn't.
"Remus! Remus, oh God look at me," both of her hands were on either side of his face. If he had any strength within him he would have smiled at her. "You're bleeding!" her words sent a shock through him. He was bleeding? He looked down and sure enough, blood was soaking through his white school uniform shirt. He groaned. Had he really forgotten to change the bandage this morning? Had he really neglected to check and make sure his wound was healing okay? Obviously it wasn't. Lily grazed the red splotch with the tips of her fingers and Remus winced. She immediately apologized, "Oh God Remus," she was staring at his face now, trapped between both of her hands. Her expression was unreadable. There was a little bit of worry and dismay. There was definitely something else though.
Jesus Christ Remus stop kidding yourself, he scolded himself angrily.
"Come on let's get you up," Lily helped him to his feet. His side protested violently and he nearly doubled over in pain. She helped him limp along the corridors. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulder for support. Her arm was wrapped gently but securely around his waist in order to keep him upright. He had never been this close to her. Even though he was on the verge of passing out, he enjoyed every moment of their walk/limp to the hospital wing. At one point he rested his chin on the top of her head and just breathed in her scent. Other girls smelled like fruits or flowers. Lily Evans smelled lovely. There was no other way to describe it. She didn't seem to smell of anything earthly. She smelled divine. She was divine