The otherworld had changed. Kalona was carrying Neferet through it, and yeah, it was still beautiful, but it wasn't as entrancing, as perfect as he remembered it being. He was certain it had been different when he was last there. The grass had been greener, that was it. And the roses in Nyx's rose garden were paler, and the night sky, well, that was about the same, but the stars weren't as bright. Maybe it was just that he knew this time he couldn't fail, or there would be absolutely no return.
Nyx showed him to a little cottage that he was certain she'd built since he fell, not that it was a surprise, given how long he'd been gone. There was one bed, and something that looked similar enough to the tables you put someone on in the hospital. Neferet would hate waking up on one of those. "Your task, Kalona, is only to guard her until she wakes, and then ring her to me so I can ascertain where to go from there." She told him, and he nodded in compliance.
"So mote it be," he spoke carefully, not wanting to sound as though he wanted anything more or less than the will of the goddess ,who thanked him before leaving. Kalona immediately moved Neferet to the bed, knowing that she'd hate lying in that gurney, and that she'd feel stiff from lying on the hard surface, Not that he was to care for the Tsi Sgili's comfort, but perhaps she'd be more inclined to help them if he did these little things. Who would know but the goddess, and she could see Kalona's reasoning in his head.
Neferet looked so eerie, so still. He'd seen her sleep before, but the Tsi Sgili had moved then. Sometimes she'd kicked and flailed, as though being attacked (and, naturally, denied everything the next morning) other times she'd just moved gently, stirred a little, moved closer (or farther) from his chill and then resumed her sleeping. She'd never been deathly still. Kalona didn't know how to fill the time until she woke 9because he refused to believe that this was a fool's errand and she wouldn't wake). He decided, maybe he'd talk, fill the silence.
He looked at the unconscious Neferet. "Why did you need it, Neferet? Why couldn't you have settled for ruling one House of Night, with me, or even just Capri. Why was nothing good enough?" he asked, starting to pace. "And why Zoey? Why did you need the child dead? She was never a legitimate threat, she was so scattered. It would have taken forever for her to do something about us, and we could never have been defeated by her. An immortal and the Tsi Sgili, and that still wasn't enough. And now look at us, I'm back where I started, and I suppose you are too, in a place of no power." His words rung out eerily, as he remembered how, sometimes she'd cringed away from him, if he accidentally said the wrong word.
He rested a hand on one ivory shoulder, feeling that she was cold. She was cold, colder than he was, though he was fairly certain he was warmer now that he wasn't fallen. He only became cold because of… well, some aspect of the Earth. Neferet was colder than he had been when he was fallen, he was sure. What was she right now: dead, shattered, comatose, a Tsi Sgili Queen, a vampyre, something else entirely?
Was Neferet the cost of his redemption? The question sprang unbidden to his mind. He knew that he should wish she was dead. In the end, he'd been little more than a slave to her, to await her in her bed and serve little purpose other than her orders, for her quest to become a goddess, or for…well, whatever else she'd wanted. It wasn't like he could protest, not while she owned his soul. And she'd enjoyed many things, pain, debasement. Really, he should be happy that she was unconscious, or dead, or whatever state she was in. And here he was, just searching answers. He was supposed to watch her, not to care one way or the other.
When had Kalona ever been able to do as he was supposed to? His treasonous heart always got in the way, or his will, or some part of who he was. He draped the blanket over Neferet, stroking the hair out of her eyes, and hoping she would open them. He loved her, he hated her. She'd freed him and trapped him. She'd saved him and doomed him. And somewhere in the paradoxes, his sanity had gotten entwined enough that it couldn't even try to make him hear it. He had fallen victim to whatever madness this was, seeing the Tsi Sgili as anything but an enemy. She was a his perfect enemy, his tainted lover, and he didn't know which of those he was seeing anymore. "Revile me," he dared her unconscious form, "Cast me aside, tell me that I'm weak and you have no need of me, make me hate you, please, just do something. Wake up and face me."
She didn't even give him a twitch to restore his face, and he knew his words and thoughts were getting borderline sacrilegious. Typical Neferet, she wouldn't even throw him a bone when this was picking him dry. Not that he was supposed to be feeling a thing. Erebus wouldn't, had he been charged with Neferet, except maybe annoyance at having to wait. Erebus had this tendency to under-estimate everyone around him, Nyx, Neferet, Kalona. He'd never perceive them clearly past his ego. Kalona really liked to think he was different.
He crept softly, soundlessly over her. He owed her pain, or some final slight, the way she'd slighted him, turned him from a god to her slave. He owed her what she'd shown him, and he knew that was how the others saw it too, but there was another debt that needed to be paid to her. She'd only given him what the world had given her. The world owed her something better. A taste of the happiness everyone else took for granted, the security no one really gave a thought to. He'd pay the world's dues then. He kissed her soft, pale lips only chastely, like a promise, seeing if the fairy-tale kiss awakened her.
Awakened was too much to hope for. She did, however; give him a big gasping breath. It was so loud to the silent room, but so soft that, had there been any other sound, it would have been lost. Instead, it was soft and loud, hope for the hopeless.
Not that he knew why it even mattered.
Eventually, he fell asleep, on the soft-carpeted floor beside her bed. He wasn't going to forcibly evict her from the bed, and he knew she'd object to sharing the bed. She wasn't the forgiving type, not by a long shot. She wouldn't trust him enough to want him there, and he wouldn't use the fact that she might never know as an excuse.
He awoke to the sound of pacing. Light footfalls around the house. He shot up, finding the bed empty. Kalona flew after the sounds of the pacing, hearing her pick up speed as well, avoiding him. He changed directions, flying straight into the Tsi Sgili by mistake. Instinctively, his arms encircled her, wings flapping to keep them from falling.
Confusedly, Neferet looked at him in awe. "What are you? She asked, a hand darting out to feel his wing. A blank expression crossed her face as she asked him a second question, "who am I?"