Okay, so this part takes place a little after the first part. I had oringinally worked with Ireland to write this part to let everyone know what had been going on since the first part. I wasn't looking for attention, but I wanted to let everyone be able to follow me through this and to possibly be an inspiration to someone dealing with the same thing. Now, I just want to say that while Kendall has Logan, Carlos and James, in real life, at this point anyway, I had two friends (not including Ireland). One of them turned on me for some reason shortly after Ireland posted this part. I don't know why he did, but he just started avoiding me. So then I was left with one friend in my actual town and Ireland.
The character Layden Nolver belongs to Ireland Maslow. It's supposed to be her and the conversation Layden and Kendall have in this chapter is an actual conversation Ireland and I took from our FB messages. We did talk more later that night, but we decided to leave that out of the story. It was a much darker conversation.
Kendall's POV:
"Hey, you know what, I honestly think you should have been the one to be killed." Shane told me as he bumped into me. I continued staring at the floor, trying to ignore him. Shane and his friends kept walking as they laughed. I waited until they got a little way from me and then I began walking again. I had been bullied for the past eight months or so and I was hating it! My mom tried to tell me that things will get better, but so far, they've only gotten worse. I'm so tired of how things have gotten so out of hand. I had been beat up three times since school started and I've been in the hospital once from the last beating I took. I was only in the hospital for three days, but still, they put me there. And then they didn't even get in trouble for it! There was no solid evidence that they were the one's who did that to me, so the police couldn't do anything. And since they had been bullying me for awhile, they couldn't go by what I, my family or friends said about them. It was so unfair!
I was just ready for this day and school year to be over with already. I was happy that James, Carlos and Logan were still by my side, but it didn't help me much. They had their own stuff going on and I hated having them stick up for me. So, I made it clear that I didn't want them doing anything. I could take care of myself. I knew they didn't like that, but they agreed to let me handle it. I walked into my last class of the day, science. I walked over and took my seat at one of the tables toward the middle of the room. I sat down and stared out the window. It was pouring rain outside, so I just watched the water fall down the window. I looked over when I noticed someone had sat down beside me. It was James. I had this class with James and Carlos, and one of them always tried to sit next to me to keep everyone else from sitting next to me.
"Hey, what's up?" James asked and I shrugged.
"The same as always," I said and he nodded. "I'm just ready to get out of here and go home." I said and he chuckled.
"Aren't we all?" He asked and I laughed along with him. It was nice to still have friends through all this and it was even better to have my family. We looked up as the teacher started class, but I wasn't paying too much attention. I kept looking over at the clock, hoping it would speed up and I could go home. I opened my notebook and began doodling some. I had stopped with my art work of guns, knives and swords ever since the incident with them teasing me about those types of drawings.
"Mr. Knight, please pay attention." Mr. Keiser told me, I looked up and saw him and the rest of the classroom staring at me.
"Sorry Sir," I said and he nodded. He went back to what he was talking about and writing a few things down on the board. I leaned forward and crossed my arms on the table and stared forward, though I wasn't paying that much attention. I never did anymore. As soon as Mr. Keiser turned around to write on the chalk board, I felt something hit me in the back of the head. I turned and looked and saw an eraser laying on the floor. I rolled my eyes and turned my head back to look at the teacher. I felt another one hit my head and I felt my blood start to boil. I felt something else hit my head, and another, and another. I finally snapped and jumped up from my seat. I started collecting my stuff.
"Kendall, what are you doing? Sit down." Mr. Keiser told me in his authoritive tone. I didn't listen. I threw the strap over my shoulder and started toward the door. "If you leave, you'll have detention this saturday." Mr. Keiser threatened.
"Why would I care? Go ahead, give me one! I don't care! I'm outta here!" I said and then walked out the door, slamming it behind me. I knew my mom would be disappointed with me because of this, but I didn't really care. I wasn't going to put up with those jerks throwing things at me through class and get away with it. I swear my teachers are on their side. They never see what they do to me and even when they do, they never do anything about it. Shane and the rest just get warning to stop, they've never been in trouble for treating me this way. It's stupid! I'm tired of it! I stormed down the hallway to the front doors of the school. I made my way quickly out of the building and down the front steps. I knew my mom would be home since she had today off, but I didn't care. I just wanted out of here. Out of this school, out of this town, out of this life!
I made it to my car and I got in and started it up. I tore out of the parking-lot a little faster than I should have, but I didn't care. I started down the road, driving faster than I normally would, but still a speed that wouldn't get me pulled over. I got home pretty quickly and I got out of my car. I started toward the house and up the stairs. I knew the door wasn't locked since mom was home, so I just opened the door and walked inside, slamming it behind me. My mom came hurriedly from the kitchen and seemed shocked to see me.
"Honey, what are you doing home? You shouldn't be home for another forty-five minutes or so." She said, I didn't even answer, I just stormed up the stairs, ignoring her questions as I went. I got to my room and walked inside. I slammed that door too. I threw my backpack at the wall, it made a loud thud as it hit. I walked over and fell down on the bed on my stomach and just laid there. My phone started buzzing in my pocket, but I just ignored it. James had been texting me since I left the school. I knew he would be asking me what was wrong and if I was okay. Maybe he seen the stuff on the floor and figured it out? I don't know, but I wasn't going to respond to his texts. And I knew he would probably call as soon as he got out of class, but I didn't want to talk about it.
I heard my door open, but I didn't even look over at my mom. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I felt the bed dip a little and then a hand on my back, rubbing circles.
"Sweetie, what happened?" Mom asked, I didn't want to talk about it, but in a way, I kind of did. I had pretty much told my mom everything that had happened since they started bullying me, and it made me feel better usually to talk about it. I have definitly grown closer to my mom over the past few months. I finally groaned and sat up beside her.
"I got up in the middle of class and left, which got me a saturday detention. But I couldn't take it anymore! They were throwing things at the back of my head and I just snapped! I knew the teacher wouldn't do anything because none of the teachers in that stupid school care what happens to me! I swear they hate me as much as the students! Honestly, I'm starting to believe this entire town hates me! It's not fair! I never did anything wrong!" I said, not being able to stop tears from filling my eyes. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, and I have been for the last eight months!
"Kendall, you know that Carlos, Logan and James and their families would never think bad of you. There are plenty of people who know you didn't do anything wrong. Do you want me to go down and talk to the principal about this detention? And what happened in class?" She asked and I sighed.
"No, it won't help anyway. I got a warning. Mr. Keiser told me that if I walked out the door, I would have detention saturday. So, I was warned, I highly doubt I can get out of this." I said and she wrapped her arms around me to pull me close to her. I rested my head on her shoulder as she rubbed up and down my arm.
"Honey, I know things are hard, but if we don't act on them now, they'll just get worse. I'm just going to go down and talk to the principal about all of this and figure out what can be done from there. I'm so sick and tired of seeing you come home like this. All upset and hurting." She said and I stayed quiet. I enjoyed having my mom hold me. I didn't care what people may say about me wanting to be in my mom's arms, it makes me feel better. My mom brought one of her hands up to push my hair out of my face. She kept rubbing her hand from forehead to over my head. She stopped, holding my hair back away from my forehead and kissed me on the forehead.
"You know I love you, right? And no matter what, I'll always love you." Mom said after she pulled away from me.
"I know, I love you too." I said and she rested her head on top of mine. We just sat there for awhile like this. I felt better now that I had her holding me. I had always been a 'momma's boy', as people would call me. But I didn't care. My mom gave me another kiss on my head and then pulled away from me.
"I'm going to go make you some chocolate chip cookies to make you feel better. Do you want to come to the kitchen with me?" She asked and I shook my head no.
"I'm just gonna stay here and relax." I said and she nodded with a small smile.
"Okay, I'm right downstairs if you need me." She said as she stood up. She walked out of the room, quietly closing the door. I had thought mom would had been upset about the detention. Especially since I had been warned to sit back down. I was just glad she didn't get really upset or anything. That's the last thing I want to deal with at this time. I groaned when I heard my phone began to buzz. I pulled my phone out and I had five texts from James already and knew more would come. I decided just to turn my phone off for right now and call him later. After my phone was off, I laid it on the night stand. I sat back down on my bed and put my head in my hands. I hated that my eyes were filling with tears again. I refused to let a single tear fall. If I cried, I cried for something important. Not for jerks.
I finally decided to get on the internet and see what was going on. I walked over and sat in my desk chair and turned the computer on. Once it was started up and ready, I got on the internet. I instantly went to My Book(1) to see what everyone was up to. I had really cleaned out my friends on here since everything started. I now have a few friends and then my family. My family made up most of my friends though. Since all this, I had lost a lot of friends. Some friends I have, I haven't even met in person. But they are nicer to me than those I know in person. After checking my notifications, I looked to see who was on. I saw that I had a message and it was from Layden. I had never met her in real life, but she had become one of my close friends over the internet. She is a friend of James'. She lives near his aunt in Alabama and we met through Carlos because he had us befriend each other on here. I opened the message to see what she had said.
Layden Nolver: Hey, what's up?
Kendall Knight: Everything. I'm so done with my stupid school!
Layden Nolver: :( I'm sorry. What happened?
Kendall Knight: They were throwing things at me and I knew the teacher wouldn't do anything about it. I got up and walked out of the classroom and now have detention saturday.
Layden Nolver: I wish they wouldn't be like that. You don't deserve to be treated that way! It's ridiculous and stupid!
Kendall Knight: I know! I'm so ready to be out of this school, town and possibly life!
Layden Nolver: Do not think like that! I understand wanting to be out of that school, but your friends are in that town. And I don't ever want you to even think about suicide! That's not the way to deal with any of this!
Kendall Knight: I know, but it probably would make everyone happier if I was just gone...
Layden Nolver: That is not true! Think about your mom, think about Katie, think about Logan, Carlos and James! Think about me, and the rest of your friends and family.
Kendall Knight: I don't think I could do that to any of you. I promise that you all are the only things keeping me here at this point.
Layden Nolver: That's good. All I can tell you at this point is to keep praying and keep your head up.
Kendall Knight: Thanks, I'm trying to do both...
Layden Nolver: Hey, I'm really sorry to cut this short, but mom wants me to get off here :\
Kendall Knight: It's okay, I need to get off also.
Layden Nolver: I'm still praying for you. Love you :)
Kendall Knight: Thanks, love you too :)
After I sent it, I signed out of my acount and then turned the computer off. I got up and pushed my chair back up to the desk and made my way toward the door. As I walked down the stairs, I heard talking and instantly recongized it as James'. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, James was standing in the livingroom talking to my mom.
"He's right upstairs, just let me get-" she cut herself off when she saw me standing on the third step of the stairs.
"Hey James," I said and he nodded at me. He had a worried look on his face.
"I'll just leave you two to talk." Mom said and we both nodded. She walked back into the kitchen and I looked at James.
"Dude, what happened back there?" He asked and I sighed. I walked over and sat down on the couch and he sat beside me.
"I got mad," I said simply and he nodded.
"Yeah, I got that, but why?" He asked and I let out a groan.
"They were throwing things at me, I got mad, and left." I said in an aggravated tone. I was getting tired of having to repeat this. James was about to say something, but I cut him off. "I don't care, what they did. I don't want to think about it anymore and I certainly don't want to talk about it anymore." I said in a bit of hateful tone. I didn't mean to be hateful toward him, but I was just fed up with everything. James seemed a little shocked at the tone I used toward him.
"Sorry," James said in a calm, but kind of surprised and maybe even hurt tone. I looked over at him and sighed again.
"No, I'm sorry. It's just, all of this has become too stressful. I'm so tired of it! I never did anything to any of them!" I said and he gave me a sympathetic look.
"I know, but things will get better. Just keep trusting that God will bring you out of this." James told me and I sighed.
"I try to trust he will, but I'm beginning to think he's not there anymore." I told him as I leaned forward and put my head in my hands.
"He's still there, no matter how it feels. This is just another part of his plan. He's making you stronger through this." I looked over at James and nodded a little.
"Thanks James," I said and he smiled a little.
"No problem," he said.
"You wanna come upstairs and play some video games?" I asked and he laughed a little.
"Sure," he said, we then made our way to my bedroom, but my mom stopped us.
"Hey, I made you guys some cookies. Here, you can take them to your room." She said, handing me a plate of cookies. We thanked her and then made our way up the stairs.
The Next Day:
This day had just been terrible so far. I was sitting in the cafeteria with James, Carlos and Logan at one of the tables. No one had left me alone all day. Even people who normally just avoid me had started to say things or even do things. I was getting really tired of it. What had I done that made them hate me so much? I used to be friends with almost everyone in this school, now I have three. Everyone else hates me for something I had no control over! It's stupid and ridiculous! Just like them!
"Dude, what's wrong?" Carlos asked me. I looked down and noticed how hard I was holding my fork. I dropped it and it fell to my tray.
"What do you think is wrong? Everything! I just want to go home! I didn't even want to come today, but mom wouldn't let me stay home. I'm just glad it's friday." I said and then stared down at my tray. I shoved it away from me angerly and leaned back in my chair with my arms crossed. Logan, Carlos and James all looked at each other and then back at me. I sighed and got up and quickly made my way from the cafeteria. I walked to the bathroom and went inside. I leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. I was trying to calm myself down. I heard the bathroom door open, but I didn't look up. I didn't care who it was anymore. I heard snickering and then footsteps coming toward me.
"Look who we have here," I heard Shane's voice say.
"Just leave me alone." I said, knowing he wouldn't. I was suddenly pushed sideways, but I still wouldn't look at him.
"What are you going to do about it?" He asked, pushing me back some more.
"Stop it." I said firmly. I had promised my mom I wouldn't do anything bad or wrong. Which meant I couldn't hit him.
"Make me," Shane said. I was honestly ready to make him stop, to show him what I would do about it. But I knew it was wrong to do that because of the promise I made to my mom. Also, I have always been a strong believer in the 'turn the other cheek' rule from the Bible. Although, I will admit that I hadn't practiced that rule very well. Suddenly Shane swung his fist at me and got me right in the eye. I quickly put my hand over my eye.
"Do something about it." Shane told me, he wanted a fight, but I didn't want to give it to him. He swung again and hit me in the cheek. I came back and shoved him harshly backward. He stumbled back and fell on his butt on the floor. I made my way quickly past him and out of the bathroom. Lunch was almost over, but I didn't have any plans of going to class. I was leaving. I was done with this stupid place and these stupid people. And to think, at one point I actually respected the people in this school. I considered them my friends. I liked them. Now I have no respect for them, I know they aren't my friends and I don't like them. I went to my locker and got my stuff to take home and then left the building.
After I got home, I walked up the front stairs and unlocked the front door. Mom was at work, so she wouldn't be here. Of course she would be getting off work in about thirty-five minutes, but I don't really care right now. After I got inside, I threw my bag down and began pacing the livingroom in an aggravated way. I didn't want to look and see how bad my eye and cheek were. It would just make me even more angry and I didn't need that right now. I knew when my mom got home she would freak, but I didn't care anymore. As I paced, I was fighting the tears that wanted to fall. I refuse to cry though. Ever since I was younger I had always refused to cry unless it was something really worth the tears.
A little while later, the door opened and my mom walked inside. She seemed shocked to see me home at such an early hour. She seemed even more shocked to see my eye and cheek. They must have been pretty bad. I knew they hurt pretty bad.
"Kendall! What happened?" She asked and I shook my head.
"That jerk Shane is what happened! Mom, I'm sorry, but I hate him. I can't stand it anymore!" I said, a single tear slipping out of my eye. I looked off to the side, hating that my mom had to see me this way. My mom came toward me and pulled me into her arms.
"I can't believe this. Where did this happen at?" She asked once she pulled away.
"In the bathroom during lunch." I said and she had an angry look on her face.
"Come on, we're going down to that school and I'm talking to your principal about this." She said as she walked toward the door. I was so fed up that doing this actually sounded like a good idea. I followed her out the door and she locked it behind us. We got in her car and made our way to the school. We pulled into the parking-lot and got out. My mom opened the door and I followed her inside. I could tell my mom was beyond angry right now. It was inbetween classes, so the hallways were full as everyone made their way to their lockers. I kept my head down as we walked through the hallway. I heard people whispering about me, people were staring, and even some were laughing at me. Including Shane and Eli. I was beginning to think this wasn't a good idea.
Linebreak! Linebreak! Linebreak!
"My son was just assaulted in the bathroom and you don't even care! You could at least question Shane! You don't care what happens in this school! I swear it seems more that you support the bullying! What kind of school is this?" I heard my mom yell. She had been in the pricinpal's office for awhile now and she had been yelling for the last five minutes. I was sitting on the bench outside of his office, listening to them yell. My mom had me go in with her to show the principal my bruises, but it got us nowhere. All he did was ask if I had proof that Shane had done this to me. When I said no, he told me there wasn't anything he could do and that he was sorry this had happened. He then expected us to leave. Which didn't go over well with mom.
Suddenly the door opened and my mom stormed out.
"Come on Kendall," she said and I stood up. We walked in silence back to the car. There wasn't much I could really say or do at this point. We got in the car and my mom started it up. We made our way home, still in silence. I stared out the window as we drove.
"I'm sorry," I said, I wasn't sure why, but I felt I needed to say that.
"No, don't you dare apologize for anything Kendall. I don't care what it takes, as soon as I can, I'm transferring you to another school. This is getting out of hand and ridiculous. That principal is way out of line with this. He had no right to just dismiss this like it doesn't matter. And those kids getting away with this makes them think they'll always be able to get away with it. That school is going nowhere having students like them and a principal like him." She said and I had to agree.
"I'm sick of all of this, mom. I'm ready for it to be over." I said in a quiet voice after mom parked the car in the driveway. My mom turned toward me and placed a hand on my knee.
"I know honey, I'm ready for it to be over too. And I promise you that I'll do everything I can to make it better. We'll look into other local schools and figure something out." She said and I stared down at my lap.
"I've been thinking about that for awhile now. Leaving the school, I mean. And I think I've figured out what I would like to do." I told her.
"What's that?" She asked and I stayed quiet for a moment longer.
"I think I would like to try homeschooling." I said and she nodded a little.
"We can look into it. But, since I work all the time, I won't be able to teach you." She said and I looked up at her.
"Well, I talked to Layden about homeschooling awhile back and she told me that it's pretty easy to homeschool yourself. And that the work books explain things pretty easily, so unless I get stuck, I won't really need you to do much. You'll have to grade my papers probably. Unless we go through certain programs where you have to send your papers in to be graded." I told her and she nodded.
"You have given this some thought, haven't you?" She asked and I nodded. "Okay, we'll look into it. Do you want to go ahead and leave school now? Or do you want to wait?" She asked and I thought about it for a minute.
"I want out of that place as soon as possible. So, if I can, I would like to leave school and start homeschooling." I said and she nodded.
"If that's what you want to do, then that's what we'll do." She said and I smiled.
"Thanks mom, I love you." I said leaning over to hug her. She hugged me back.
"I love you too, sweetie." She said. I was just happy to be getting out of there. And it's not like I'm leaving friends behind. Logan, Carlos and James live near by, so I can see them whenever. This will probably be the best thing for me at this point.
As with the first part, everything with Kendall actually happened to me. Since Ireland posted this part to the story things have gotten better. I don't want to go into too much detail right now, but I did move to another state, my mom, sister and I now live with my mom's brother, his wife and their four kids. So I'm surrounded by more family. I started homeschooling this past Monday. My mom and I had a long talk about me going to the high school in my uncle's town, but I didn't feel safe about it. All the bullying really took a toll on my life. People don't realize the lasting effects of what they do. I have made some new friends in my new town. It was hard to make them though because I was worried about them turning on me. I still get nervous when I'm in a large group and almost had a panic attack this past summer when I was with my new friends. Bullying effects people in more ways they you can imagine. I've tried to be strong and I did make it through everything, but that doesn't take the fear away. It doesn't take the worry that someone else is going to hurt you the way people in your past did. So, that's why I went ahead and just decided to go through with homeschooling. My life is slowly getting better and I have learned that the new friends I have are incredible people. And obviously Ireland Maslow is an amazing friend too. We're still very close and I consider her my absolute best friend, even if we've never met face-to-face. Anyway, Ireland and I are working on another part to this story to let you guys know exactly what's been going on. So you'll get the full story of the panic attack and such when we get that done.