Chapter One

'I got back to Sunnydale a couple of days ago, about a week after I left Oxnard. It should have only taken me a couple of hours, but I wasn't really in any rush to get back so I took the scenic route.

When I got to the old homestead, I found out my parents hadn't really notice I'd been gone, apart from them moving all of my things to the basement so they could use my room to store a load of bootleg whiskey they had acquired in my absence. At least they hadn't hocked my stuff, which to be honest surprised me.

They also decided that I was to pay rent, which was just another way of getting out of actually working for a living themselves. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to afford to rent a place of my own, they had me over a barrel so I saw no other option than to agree.

The first thing I did the morning after I returned was to get a job at the local human bar. It turned out that my new boss knew the owner of the club in Oxnard, so there wasn't much of an interview. He said that anyone who could stand to work for them as long as I did deserved a chance.

Once I had my employment situation sorted, I decided to go round and see Giles. Although we never had a close relationship, I still looked to him as a kind of mentor, something I hadn't really experienced before. His opinion of me matters a hell of a lot more than my father's I can tell you.

When he opened the door the first thing I noticed was that he wasn't wearing tweed. The second thing I noticed was that he actually seemed to have missed me.'

"Xander! How the devil are you?" Giles asked as he opened the door.

"I've seen better days, Giles, but I'm good," Xander replied, keeping mostly to the truth. "How's everything been going for you?"

"I must admit that I am getting used to being a gentleman of leisure."

Giles didn't invite Xander in, but he didn't take it to heart given that was the usual way those in the know about Sunnydale's nocturnal population acted. Xander knew that it had been some time since the older man had seen him and, given that it was nighttime, he couldn't be sure that he hadn't been turned.

When Xander stepped inside, Giles actually hugged him, which while surprising to the younger man, was not unwelcome. It certainly helped to know that someone knew he hadn't been around.

"You may not believe this Xander," Giles began, "but you have been greatly missed these last few months."

"You're right Giles, I don't believe it," Xander replied bluntly. "You may have missed me, but I know a certain blonde and a redhead who probably haven't."

"I won't insult your intelligence by trying to persuade you otherwise," he said with a sigh. "I must admit that I am surprised by their actions towards you of late."

"No offence," Xander said, "but you weren't exactly trying to keep me in the group either."

"You're right," Giles admitted with chagrin, "and I have no excuse for my actions. You may have been a little reckless in you actions at times, but you were never a danger to yourself or others. I'm afraid that I allowed my duty to Buffy cloud my better judgement."

"I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt being ostracised from the group, because it did," Xander told him, "but I realise that you did what you felt was right at the time."

"Thank you for being so forgiving."

'We spent the next hour or so talking about what we did during the summer. It turns out that I wasn't the only one who felt left out by Buffy and Willow. He has hardly seen either one of them since graduation, and when he did it was only so they could borrow something from him, which he always allowed.

He also told me about his girlfriend Olivia, who was on old flame from England who had been over here in America for the last couple of months due to her work. I told him I was happy for him, and that it was good to see him having a normal life, as he had sacrificed so much being here.

I could tell that not having Buffy around hurt him a lot, he was also concerned that Buffy may have been neglecting her training. We both knew that was a very dangerous situation.

I told him about the different towns I had been to, and even my very short career as a male stripper, having sworn him to secrecy before doing so, which he found extremely amusing. I told him about patrolling the towns that I had stayed at and what had happened in Oxnard.

Although I could tell he was impressed, I knew he was thinking I had embellished my achievements.'

"I don't want you to think I don't believe you," Giles began tentatively, "but you were never exactly known for your fighting skills Xander."

"I'll have you know that my fighting skills have come a long way since the last time you saw me, G-Man, not to mention that you only really saw me when I got in the way of something after you or one of the others."

"Don't call me that," Giles told him, referring to his nickname.

Xander could tell that he was no longer annoyed by the moniker he had given him, but the British in him wouldn't allow him to admit it.

"Don't you think that you may be wrong in your opinion of me?" Xander asked, feeling a little hurt he didn't believe him.

"I am certain that you have improved since the last time I saw you," he conceded, albeit a little reluctantly, "but for you to be able to achieve what you have told me…"

"If you don't believe me," Xander said, interrupting him, "I could prove it to you."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" he asked.

"You have a training room here in the basement don't you?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well then, lead the way and I will show you what I can do!" Xander declared with a flourish.

"You're suggesting that we spar?" Giles said in surprise.

"You don't have a problem with that do you?" Xander asked, a small smirk on his face.

Giles actually had a smirk on his face that matched Xander's as he led him to the training room he had installed in his basement. Xander knew Giles wouldn't want to show him up, but he did want to deflate the 'ego' he feels Xander had acquired. They both went through some warm up exercises, before they made their way onto the mats. Each man had a rubber stake in their hand, to further simulate a real life situation.

"I am ready when you are G-Man!"

"Don't call me that."

'Giles started his first move before he finished his sentence. Now I know that Giles has been training far longer than I have, and because of that I kept it to the basics, deliberately passing up chances that could have won me the match that were risky.

He underestimated me early on and left himself wide open for a moment, which I took full advantage of, earning me a successful shot to his chest. If it had been for real, I would have been going to get a Dust Buster by that point.

He quickly learnt from his mistake, and a few minutes later Giles caught me with a leg sweep and evened the score.

We continued to spar; Giles had the advantage of experience, but I had youth and stamina, so we were pretty even. I'm sure that, had it been a real fight, Giles would have probably won; I knew that he could fight dirty, but he kept himself to more honourable methods.

Ten minutes later and we were still level, with neither one getting a clear kill shot. Giles eventually indicated that he wanted to stop, and I could tell that he was pleased with what he saw. I was pretty glad that he called time first, as I hadn't been sure how much longer I would have been able to go on myself.'

"Xander, I apologise for not believing in your fighting ability, you have improved a great deal from the last time I saw you," Giles told him, his surprise mixed with pride.

"I had no choice but to improve fast," Xander replied, "as I'd've been nothing more than a meal if I hadn't. I guess I have to thank the soldier's memories for that."

"What do you mean?" he asked, curious.

"I've noticed that during a fight, his memories and skills become clearer," Xander explained. "The fighting styles he possessed are quite extensive; although I've only been able to master the basic fighting principals, I can sometimes access the more advanced techniques but more out of instinct than anything else."

"I had noticed during our session that you would be performing some advanced moves one moment and then only the basics the next," Giles admitted, having wondered about that inconsistency.

"I was actually going to ask you about that."

"Yes, how so?"

"Would you consider training me?" Xander asked. "Not just physically, but mentally as well so I can have more control over the memories? As you saw the techniques are there but I don't have enough control to consistently use them."

"Of course Xander, it would be my pleasure."

Xander knew that Giles wouldn't have refused him by that point; he could tell that the older man was missing his training sessions with Buffy, hell, he was missing Buffy period, and would relish the company. Xander also knew that Giles would see trying to find a way to allow him better access to his soldier memories as a challenge, and Giles liked nothing more than a challenge, especially one that wouldn't run the risk of concussion.

"That's great Giles," Xander told him happily, "I want to become as good as possible, because I've no intention of stopping patrolling now. It's my choice and I choose to fight," he added, ensuring to get his point across.

"I had a feeling that was your motivation, Xander, and I do not intend to persuade you otherwise," Giles assured him. "You do realise of course that Buffy may have something to say about that?"

"I know she will, but her main reason for keeping me out of the whole Slayer thing was that I was a liability; she won't have that excuse anymore, not that she ever had it in the first place. Anyway, what makes you think I was going to tell her?" he added with a smile.

"I guess you do have a point Xander," Giles replied, smiling also. "I do have two conditions that you will have to agree to before I will train you."

"And they are?" Xander had a feeling what they would be, but thought he'd let Giles say them anyway.

"The first is that you ring me as soon as you get back from a patrol."

"I would have done that anyway Giles. I know how important it is to keep up to date intelligence and I wouldn't want to add to your worries," he assured him.

"Quite. The other condition is that you learn more about Demonology; you know as well as anyone that you will encounter a lot more than just Vampires here in Sunnydale, and knowing what you are fighting will help in defeating it."

"As I just said, I know how important intelligence is; the more I have the longer I'll live, so I've no problem with that. You know I'm not exactly strong with the academia," Xander pointed out, "but I'll do my best."

"That is all I ask," Giles assured him, believing that Xander was capable of much more than he had showed academically if given the proper motivation, "but I'm sure that you'll do fine. Now that we have everything sorted, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Actually I would love one," Xander replied, surprising him, "I developed a taste for it on my travels."

'I spent a couple more hours with Giles before I needed to get back home. Before I left, I said to him that had probably been the longest amount of time we had ever spent together without having to research, and that it was a shame we hadn't done it sooner. We shook hands and I left, thinking that if nothing else works out, I had at least mended one fence.

The next day I went round to Willow's to say hello, but her mother said that she had moved into the dorms at the college. I considered asking for the address but decided against it, as I doubted that she'd want a 'townie' disrupting her college life.

As it wasn't far, I then decided to go round to Buffy's but Joyce, Buffy's mother, said the same, although she did say that they weren't sharing. I'm surprised that Willow didn't hack in to the college computer and set them up. She invited me in and we talked for a while about what I had done during the summer; I left out the stripper story and about the fact I had been patrolling just in case she told Buffy when she saw her. She told me that Cordelia had left for LA to become an actress; I asked her if she had a contact number, but she didn't.

It wasn't long before she started talking about Buffy and what she had been doing, and she asked me why I hadn't let them know how I was doing.'

"I don't know Mrs. Summers," Xander replied, lying through his teeth.

"How many times have I told you to call me Joyce?" Joyce said to him in mock annoyance before turning serious. "I'm not stupid Xander; you know why you didn't tell them."

"Ok, Joyce, I guessed that they weren't really bothered what I was doing," he told her bluntly.

"Xander you have to know that isn't true; they have both been worried about you."

"Please don't think I'm being mean Joyce," Xander said, not wanting to alienate her, "but I bet it took them both a long time before they realised they hadn't heard from me didn't it?"

"Well…" she trailed off, not wanting to admit Xander was right, but doing so anyway.

"I thought as much," he sighed. He knew what the answer would be, but it didn't make Xander feel any better to be proven right. "I didn't contact them because I truly didn't think I was ever coming back."

"Why ever not?" she asked, shocked he would do such a thing.

"What did I really have to come back to?" he asked in reply. "Last year both Buffy and Willow started to grow more distant from me. I know that Willow had her reasons and I respect them, but Buffy just stopped wanting me around. They all blamed me for what happened between Willow and myself, which I was, but Willow had an equal part in it, and yet she's seen as the innocent party."

Joyce knew all about the whole 'Fluke' incident between Willow and Xander, and she had been disappointed in both of them, she knew that Xander never intentionally hurt anyone.

"Buffy just wanted to make sure that you were safe," she told him, defending her daughter, "she was worried that you would get seriously hurt helping her with her 'other' activities."

Joyce knew all about Buffy being the Slayer, but she still found it difficult to say it out loud. Xander can't say that he blamed her.

"I know that Joyce," he conceded, more for her benefit than anything else, "but I've been helping her out since the first day I met her. We spent most of our time together during those 'other' activities; when they forced me out of the group I felt like a leper. They only included me in the whole Graduation episode because they needed my military experience and none of them could come up with a better plan. I stopped being their friend and became nothing more than a tool. Also Willow isn't exactly a black belt; it takes her a while to build up the power required to perform her spells, and during that time she's as vulnerable to attack as the rest of us. Oz maybe a werewolf, but in human form he had the same level of fighting skill as myself, just a better sense of smell. Despite that I didn't hear Buffy asking them to stop patrolling. Add in the fact that I've spent the least amount of time in hospital out of all of us, and you can see why I hadn't made definite plans to come back."

Joyce could tell that Xander didn't want to talk about it anymore, probably to ensure they didn't get into an argument, so she changed the subject.

"What have you been doing since you came back?"

"I've got a job tending bar to pay the rent my parents have decided to charge me, and I've asked Giles to help me with my training," he told her. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Buffy or Willow about that last bit," he added, "as they'd only have a go at Giles and force him to stop."

"I won't tell them anything Xander I promise."

"Thank you."

Xander finished the drink Joyce made for him, thanked her for the talk and went to leave. Before he did, he hesitated for a moment and then turned around to face her.

"If you see Buffy or Willow before I do, could you say hello for me?" he asked.

"Of course Xander," she replied, before giving him a hug and telling him he was welcome anytime.

'My final chore for the day was to go on patrol. It was my first patrol since I had got back, and I had almost forgotten how many cemeteries Sunnydale had. The other thing I forgot was just how many other demons lived here.

I decided not to be out too long, as I didn't want to bump into Buffy and get into the inevitable argument my presence would cause. I still managed to stake five vamps before I decided to go home, so I considered it a success.

As I was nearing the cemetery exit for home, I spotted a group of four men, all in camouflage, carrying weird looking guns. I had considered following them but decided against it, mainly because I didn't think it was my place to do so.

Although it wasn't the weirdest thing I had seen by a long shot, I still thought it would be a good idea to tell Giles about it when I rang him, just to see what his take on it was. I doubt that they were going to a fancy dress party, but unless they're a direct threat I had no problem in leaving them alone.'