CHAPTER TWO
McGarrett Home (around 4am)
He bolted up in bed and called out her name, "Cath".
He looked to his left expecting to see her lying peacefully beside him but her side was empty. He was sweating; he rubbed his forehead trying to shake the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He walked into the bathroom to wash his face. He looked up in the mirror and saw the bags under his eyes. He wasn't getting much sleep and the sleep he was getting was fitful and interrupted by thoughts of her; her sweet smile, her beautiful eyes, her soft voice, and the way she always knew just the right thing to say to him.
He got back into bed and tried to fall back asleep but it was useless. He looked over at his phone and saw it was 4am. He got out of bed and went for an extra long run trying to get her out of his head but he was never successful; she haunted him almost every single night.
He wiped the beads of sweat off his face, stomach, and back as he sat down on the chair in his backyard. He draped the towel over the back of his shoulders, leaned back and closed his eyes.
He was standing by the edge of the water, shirtless with his hands in the pockets of his blue shorts. She was running down the length of the beach towards him. The closer she got, the bigger his smile became. She stopped inches from his face.
"Morning sailor.", she said with a smile.
"Morning," he said, leaning down for a quick kiss.
"Finish your swim?"
"Just a few minutes ago; how was your run?"
"It was good," she replied, her hair falling loosely around her face as the undid her ponytail.
"I woke up this morning and you were already gone," he said disappointed.
"Sorry Steve, I didn't sleep well. Bad dream and I couldn't fall back asleep.
"Is everything okay?", Steve asked concern growing on his face.
"Oh ya, I'm fine, just one of those random nightmares. I'm good."
"You sure?"
"Yes Steve, I'm sure," she laughed, "don't worry, it's nothing but I love you for being so concerned," she said as she got on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on his nose.
"Okay, okay," he said nodding his head slightly.
"It's your turn to make breakfast; I'll have some waffles with fruit please," she said as she jogged backwards towards the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To take a shower and oh ya, a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice," she added smiling as disappeared into the house.
"Seriously?", he called out to her.
He cursed the fact that his shower was made of translucent glass; he really needed to renovate his bathroom he mused as he watched her lather her hair with shampoo. He leaned against the door jamb of the bathroom, crossing one ankle over the other and enjoyed the view for a few seconds before taking off this shorts and opening the door to join her.
She turned, "Hey what are you doing here, you're supposed to be making me breakfast," she said as he watched water run down her entire body.
He looked back up to face her, "I wanted dessert first", he said as he pulled her closer and started nuzzling behind her ear.
"Since when does breakfast include dessert," she laughed.
"In mine it does," he replied as he trailed kisses down her neck,
She laughed again as she placed her hands flat on his chest and gently pushed him away. "Forever the charmer."
"Yes ma'am and don't you forget it," he said grinning from ear to ear.
He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close again.
As he pressed his lips against her, his hands traveled down her back and she melted into him.
They forgot all about breakfast.
….
He woke up with a start and stared out at the ocean. God, he missed her but he had to get it together. He tried getting back into the dating scene but his blind date with Lynne was a mitigated disaster. The two of them had nothing in common and all she did was talk about her ex-boyfriend and The Bachelor; he wanted to shoot himself with his own gun. Either that or he was going to shoot her; she was that annoying. At the end of the date, she asked when she could see him again; was she serious? Was she not on this date? He tried to let her down gently, telling her another date wasn't in the cards.
He knew he should probably give himself some time, after all he had been with Catherine on and off for almost 10 years. He let out a huge sigh, shook his head as if to get rid of his memories of her, got up and headed for the bathroom, He shaved, showered, grabbed his protein shake and phone and left for work.
Hawaii 5-0 Headquarters (10:00am)
"Hey you okay?", Grover asked as he entered Steve's office.
McGarrett opened his eyes "Hey Lou, ya I'm okay. Why?"
"You look beat."
"Didn't sleep well last night."
"You thinking of Catherine again?"
Steve remained silent.
"McGarrett, you gotta get over it. She's gone, she made her choice."
"Ya, I got the memo; apparently I'm not enough," he said gruffly.
"Look man, I didn''t mean to be harsh or insensitive, I get it, I do. But I need you, actually, we all need you to," he started to say pointing to Chin, Danny, and Kono standing outside chatting by the smart table, "we need you to start moving on. We're here for you; we want to help. Just tell us how.
"I appreciate it Lou," Steve replied as he slapped his hand on his desk and got up from his chair, "I'll let you know."
"That's all we ask. What about going out with Lynne again? Give it another chance."
"I'd rather run naked through poison ivy."
Lou laughed, "Don't be so dramatic. It couldn't have been that bad."
"Ya it could," Steve replied as he headed towards the door.
"Did you see her?" Lou asked confused as he followed Steve out of his office.
"What do you mean 'did I see her'?" Steve asked looking back at Lou with a puzzled look.
"I mean, she's cute McGarrett," he said as they both reached the smart table where the other team members were chatting.
"What does that have to do with anything?", Steve asked raising his eyebrow
"What are you two talking about?" Danny asked.
"I'm trying to convince him to go out with Lynne again," he answered, "help me out."
"Um, no, she's a flake," Kono chimed in.
"How would you know?", Chin asked.
"Because I talked to her while she was waiting for Steve to finish up his phone call that day. She's a couple of french fries short of a happy meal. Just say no Steve.
"Thank you Kono," Steve said as he bent down slightly and spread his arms wide.
"Who cares if she's a flake, go have fun!", Danny said shrugging his shoulders, not understanding what the problem was.
"I agree," Lou said high fiving Danny.
Kono rolled her eyes and shook her head while Steve replied, "I don't consider wanting to shoot myself a good time."
"Okay fine, do what you want", Grover said in defeat, throwing up his hands.
"Anyway," Steve started, "I just came out to say hi and now I have to get back to work, I suggest you guys do the same."
"I gotta go, it's Career Day at Gracie's school. I should be back in an hour or so," Danny stated as he walked towards the door, "call me if we get a case."
"You know it," Steve replied as he headed back to his office.
McGarrett's office (11:30am)
He threw his pen down on his desk and vigorously rubbed his eyes. He was so goddamn tired. He needed a coffee, badly.
He got up from his desk to grab a cup when he saw Chin heading towards his office.
Chin rapped on the door once and opened it, "Hey Steve, you gotta a minute?"
"Of course, what's up?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know what the others are saying but I personally think you should take your time. I know it's not the same as what I went through, but when I lost Malia, I was devastated. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again but I found my way and you will too. I know Catherine really threw you for a loop by leaving again but you need to give yourself time to process all of it and heal."
"Thanks Chin, I really appreciate it. I know you're right; it's just easier said than done."
"I know," Chin said nodding his head, "but one day at a time."
Steve nodded his head as he rubbed his eyes for what he felt was the millionth time.
"Why don't you get some sleep Steve, take a nap. If there's a case, your phone is going to ring so you don't have to worry about that."
"Ya, you're probably right. I won't be good to anyone if I'm not on top of my game. It just…," his voice trailed off.
"What is it Steve?", Chin asked concern growing on his face.
"I had a bad dream last night, as if Catherine was in trouble," Steve replied biting his lower lip.
"Anything in particular?"
"No, no, just as if she needed my help."
"I'm sure she's fine Steve. She's doing aid work in Nepal. It's probably just overthinking it."
"I guess you're right."
"Okay, I'm going to get out of your way. You take that nap and if anything comes up, we will wake you," Chin assured him.
"Thanks again Chin."
"Anytime.", he replied as he left Steve's office.
Steve dropped onto the couch and immediately fell asleep.
He led his team to base camp. As they shuffled into the tent, they saw a flurry of activity. He looked for someone to talk to. As his eyes surveyed the room, he saw someone hunched over in the corner gathering some supplies. He called out.
"Excuse me."
She got up and turned towards him. She took his breath away.
"Yes," she said, "how can I help you?"
He continued to stare.
"Good morning, I'm Lieutenant Hart," Freddie began, talking for his friend, "We're here…."
"Oh yes, you're the Navy SEAL team coming in for the rescue mission" she said, "I'm Petty Officer Catherine Rollins," she finished as she extended her hand in greeting.
Lieutenant Hart took her hand and shook it, "Nice to meet you Petty Officer Rollins. This here," he said pointing towards Steve, "who seems to have lost the use of his vocal chords is Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett.
"Good morning Commander," she said turning to face him.
"Um, um…good morning Petty Office Rollins" he stammered.
Freddie shook his head. He knew how his buddy got when he saw a beautiful woman. This should be interesting he thought as he heard Petty Officer Rollins tell them where they could put their gear.
"We're looking for Commander Bennett," Steve said as he walked towards the back of the room.
"I will go and a get him for you," Catherine replied as she disappeared around a corner.
He couldn't help but stare after her.
"Steve, Steve," he heard his name in the distance.
He jolted awake and sat up on the couch, "What is it?", he said looking at Chin.
"You need to see something," Chin replied with a serious look on his face.
Steve jumped off the couch and followed Chin to the 'smart' table where the rest of the team was gathered. Their faces said it all.
"What is it?", Steve asked exasperated.
"Just watch," Kono answered, as Chin played the video.
Steve watched and then he sucked in his breath as the last frame played.
He couldn't believe the face staring back at him.