Cartman's Final Intervention

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…...

Kyle was trying to revive Cartman. Cartman shook his head and said "fat bitch, I love to be called fat bitch" then he stuck his tongue out and wiggled it.

Stan laughed "oh man Kyle your man just fucked up Cartman."

Bluecap replied "Goddamn right I did."

Kyle said "guys stay back I think I can get Cartman to stop doing this hate campaign. Cartman are have you come to yet?"

Cartman replied "I'm fully conscious now Kyle."

Kyle stated "you need to realize that the fact is I'm dating Bluecap and you can't stop me. In the past you've told people that we were a gay couple and have tried to get me to perform oral sex on you. What you're doing is something you're doing to rebel against me. I've always been your target."

Cartman said "you're right Kyle and it's clear I must stop ripping on you for having a boyfriend you faggot you."

Kyle helps Cartman up.

Bluecap says "well if you like to be called fat bitch I'll be happy to call you fat bitch."

Stan said "everything worked out, Cartman and Kyle are friends again."

Kyle said "well not really, I hate Cartman with all my heart."

All the children sing:

Thank God we live in this quiet, little, piss ant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one horse, mud-hole, pecker wood, right wing, whistle stop, truck drivin', old fashioned, hayseed, inbred, unkept, out of date, out of touch, white trash, kick ass!
Moooun-taaaain Toowwwwn!

Mister Garrison chimed in "okay recess time is just about over and you all got to sing your gay little song."

Mister Bart responded "do you kids learn anything from him?"

Stan answered "no we just fake it to shut him up."

Mister Garrison became furious at both Mister Bart and Stan.

Stan said "well Mister Garrison I'm shocked you're not more sympathetic to my best friend being gay."

Mister Garrison said "well Stan I worry about you kids getting hurt."

Cartman responded "the only way Kyle would get hurt is if he agreed to be your bitch because you're one sadistic faggot Mister Garrison. You tore up Mister Slave's ass."

All the kids started cheering.

Mister Garrison replied "what I used to do with that whore's ass is none of your business and all you brats get on back to class."

Heidi was pissed but she figured she'd just let Cartman go with Kyle.

Stan said "okay Cartman no more protesting Kyle."

Cartman said "gotcha!"

Mister Bart was heading back to his class when Mister Garrison said "I'll bet I can teach way better than you Mister Big-shit Bart."

Mister Bart just laughed.

THE END