Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the associated characters.
A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews, because of them I have decided to continue this story. I'm not sure how long it will be, but knowing that my free time is going to be very limited in the near future, I'll probably only write two or three more chapters. Thanks again for your reviews and encouragement, I hope you enjoy chapter 2 of Impulse!
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L wasn't what one would call normal. That much was obvious from his abnormal appearance, odd mannerisms, and penchant for assigning percentages and determining probabilities.
He knew nothing of social graces, relationships, and especially sex. If one were to compare the speed and efficiency with which L solved his cases, one would notice that cases involving sex or anything related took L the longest to solve.
Of course L always managed to come up with completely believable explanations for these unusual delays, but the link was there nonetheless. Because he had never been a part of any true relationship let alone a physical one, L plausibly had some difficulty with understanding sexual motivations for crimes.
While rape and many types of sexual assaults were undeniably crimes of power, L could never comprehend the mindset of a jealous husband or a scorned wife, killing over adulterous affairs or bitter divorces.
The world's fascination with sex thoroughly confused L; was it really that big of a deal? Was it worth paying for, dying for, and killing for? L couldn't imagine it was.
This constant puzzlement resurfaced as L perched on his bed while Raito slept, unaware of the thoughts racing through his bed partner's head. L felt slightly uncomfortable as he assumed his customary position.
As he searched for the cause of difficulty, he noticed a strange feeling in his lower regions. Peering down at himself L noticed his problem immediately—his penis was erect again. This was no cause for alarm; L had certainly performed enough research to know the workings of the human body, the reproductive system in this case.
L wasn't worried by the fact that he had an erect penis; he was more confused by what could have led his penis to assume this state. Searching his memory of recent events, L attempted to determine the source of his body's arousal.
After the investigation team exited the building and headed home, L and Raito worked on the Kira case for an additional hour before Raito turned off his computer and stood up slowly. L turned his head as he observed Raito stretching, back popping audibly and shirt riding up to reveal smooth skin over taut stomach muscles. L blinked.
"Ryuuzaki, I can't concentrate anymore; let's go to bed," Raito murmured tiredly. L turned back to his computer without a word and continued to work for five more minutes, ignoring Raito's glare, before he grabbed his laptop and motioned Raito up the stairs,
"After you, Raito-kun," L stated boredly. Raito rolled his eyes before trudging up the stairs, purposely yanking the chain of the handcuffs rather violently as he went. "Raito-kun loses his temper so easily. This increases his chance of being Kira by three percent," L muttered childishly.
Ignoring L, Raito walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower and began to undress until the handcuffs became an issue. "Ryuuzaki," Raito sighed, "will you please unlock these handcuffs so I can remove my shirt?" L barely heard the words; he was too busy staring at Raito's muscular thighs and what lay between them.
Blinking slowly as if waking from a daze, L's eyes met Raito's, and he blushed at the raised eyebrow. L didn't know what possessed him to look at Raito's nakedness so openly; it wasn't as if he hadn't seen the nude form before, but something seemed different today.
L had found his eyes wandering to Raito multiple times throughout the day inexplicably. Certainly if Raito or another member of the investigation team noticed this extreme staring, L could simply say he was looking for any Kira-like actions.
Raito's anger at the statement would assuredly cause him to forget to question the truth behind L's undeterred gaze. The truth was that L himself was unable to determine the reasoning behind his sudden attentiveness to Raito's body.
There was no discernable difference in Raito's dress, hairstyle, or attitude that would catch the astute detective's attention. In short, L was stumped. His own inability to look away from Raito for any measurable amount of time confused him more than any case, Kira and sex-related cases included.
Continuing to ponder his current problems, L quickly unlocked the handcuffs and undressed himself, "It would be more efficient time and energy-wise if Raito-kun and I were to shower together," L said calmly.
Giving him a short look and shrugging his shoulders, Raito stepped into the warm spray of the shower with L situating himself behind the younger man. Determined to solve his current predicament, L closely scrutinized the man in front of him, taking in unblemished skin and the lightly defined muscles it encased.
As Raito tilted his head back to wet his face, L examined the curve of his neck and the strong line of his jaw, his broad shoulders and narrow waist. L couldn't help but shift his attention to a droplet of water slowly making its way down the smooth panes of Raito's back; he drew in a harsh breath as the droplet reached Raito's ass, sliding between the firm and lightly rounded globes until it disappeared from L's line of sight.
At the sound, Raito turned his head, looking at L questioningly, "Are you cold? Let's switch places so you can wash your hair." Swallowing with a bit of difficulty, L attempted to slide past Raito, avoiding any skin contact. His breath caught when Raito's foot brushed his calf and his right hand skimmed across L's hips.
Trying to calm his breathing and beginning to wash his hair mechanically, L contemplated his strange reactions to Raito's presence. Is it possible that L was attracted to him? L had previously read accounts of people describing their attraction to others while researching a case, and it appeared his situation had some things in common with these accounts.
The shower turning off and a towel hitting his chest interrupted L's thoughts. His eyes quickly found Raito, and he couldn't help letting his eyes wander quickly over the nude form in front of him. Attractive was certainly a word one would use to describe Yagami Raito.
His physical appearance certainly qualified as such, but L didn't stop there. To L, Raito's mental prowess proved equally if not more attractive. Not just anyone could achieve perfect scores on every test, solve high profile crimes while in high school, and rival the great detective L in a battle of wits.
L liked competition; he liked winning, and usually he had no difficulties besting his opponent. When he first met Yagami Raito, he knew everything would change. Raito saw through all of his attempts at entrapment and pushed L's patience ever closer to the edge.
Raito became his first friend, his greatest rival, and had a thirty three percent chance of being his worst enemy. For the first time in his life, L felt overwhelmed. He had always been satisfied with being alone, devoting his life to his work, but now Raito was calling all of his previously held beliefs into question. Did his friendship with Raito weaken him? Not in the ways that mattered at least.
L refused to give up his suspicions about Raito simply because of his admiration for and attraction to the younger man. No, he would not allow his newfound personal life to interfere with his work. Someone of his intellectual capacity was definitely capable of separating the two most important parts of his life. Wasn't he?
L's mind returned to the present as he observed his erection, flickering his eyes among it, his computer screen displaying one of many Kira-related files, and Raito's uncovered back.
L decided there were more pressing issues at hand than the Kira investigation as he opened a new webpage and thought of what to type into the search box. Usually whenever L discovered that his penis was erect, he would simply ignore it, performing work-related tasks until his penis returned to its normal state, but for some reason L decided a different method was required to resolve his current problem.
Thinking back, L remembered watching Raito through the cameras hidden in his former bedroom. The event that stood out the most in L's memory was the time when Raito had locked his door and taken out explicit magazines.
L knew that most young men owned and viewed pornography regularly and that it was usually used as a way to get rid of erections. Figuring that 'porn' would bring up entirely too many results, L typed 'porn hard penis' into the search bar.
He was moderately surprised to see thousands of results to his search, but overcame it quickly, clicking on the first link without reading the description. Eyes widening, L's mouth dropped open as a video began to play showing two men kissing and touching one another everywhere.
L watched as the man called Brutus removed the other man, Paolo's tight animal print thong with his teeth. Forgetting to breathe, L observed the hard cock, twitching as it was exposed to Brutus's hot breath. L's own cock would probably looked similar if he let it free from the confines of his pants, but L was too frozen with curiosity and arousal to command his hands to move.
As Brutus started licking and sucking on Paolo's cock, L let out an involuntary moan as he realized he wasn't the only one with an oral fixation. He wondered what it would be like to do that to Raito; what would he taste like? L gulped turning his attention back to the computer screen to see that Brutus was now apparently putting his own cock in Paolo's ass.
Of course L knew that gay men had sex with one another, but he'd never seen exactly how it was done, and he was surprised to feel his penis hardening further at the sight. L looked down to the bulge straining in his pants wondering what to do next when his eyes darted over to Raito meeting Raito's own.
Shocked and mortified, L made to close his laptop and hide one of the sources of his embarrassment from view, but Raito's sudden grip on his wrist and chin halted his movement.
The kisses and the sexual act that followed shocked and confused L and did nothing to diminish his apparent attraction to Raito. The way that Raito had looked at him, how he had kissed and touched him, was it possible that Raito was attracted to L as well?
L couldn't imagine doing what he and Raito had done with someone he wasn't attracted to like Mogi for example. The thought was enough to make him shudder in disgust and fear.
He would never allow someone like Mogi or Matsuda to see him naked or bring him to orgasm. His body was personal, and he wouldn't allow just anyone to see it and touch it, to hear his moans, or witness his face in the height of passions.
No, only Raito could see and touch him, kiss him and taste him. Astonished by his actions and the confusing, dangerous thoughts tumbling through his head, L's mind could only manage to repeat one question over and over.
What have I done?
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