Disclaimer: I don't own any part of The OC. Oh and I forgot to mention in the first chapter that each chapter title will be named after a song title. The first chapter was So Sorry by Feist and this is Your New Twin Sized Bed by Death Cab for Cutie.
A/N-Not too much to say really, just thanks to everyone who took the time to review the first chapter, I really appreciate it. Also, of course, thanks to Meg for editing for me.
Summer sat on her bed, holding the phone. She wanted to dial the numbers. She wanted so badly to do that.
She sighed, wondering if it was the right thing to do. She had been calling them for the past month, though she had yet to say anything to anyone. The other day Emma had picked up the phone. She had almost said something to her, she was about to tell her how much she missed her and loved her. She couldn't bring herself to do that though.
Maybe today she would do that. She looked at the clock and realized that they were probably all up, Seth getting them ready for the day. Maybe Emma would pick up the phone again and she could talk to her daughter.
She dialed the familiar number slowly and listened to it ring a few times. She was about to hang up when someone picked it up.
It was Seth.
She couldn't bring herself to say anything to him. She wanted to. There was so much she wanted to say to him. She couldn't though. She didn't find it possible to do so.
"Summer? Summer, please don't hang up."
She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She didn't know what to say. Just like every time she called and he picked up the phone. She never knew what to say to him.
"Sum, please. Please, come home."
The plea he gave her every time. She didn't want to hear it. She hung up the phone without a second thought.
She placed the phone on the table next to her bed. She leaned against the pillow in the small bed.
She hated this bed. She hated it with a passion. There was no room for anyone else in it but her. She didn't want it to be like that.
Yet she had done this to herself.
Seth hadn't told her to leave. He had told her to stay. He had loved her; he probably still did. She didn't understand at all, but he did. Even after she shattered their lives, leaving him to pick up the pieces. She hadn't helped him at all.
She had to get out of her apartment. She couldn't just lie in bed and think about this; it wasn't a pleasant place for her to be. She didn't want to see her small bed for it reminded her of what her life had become.
She walked out of the apartment, not knowing where she wanted to go. She stepped outside into the chilly October air and pulled her sweater tighter around her. She had to think for a minute as to why she had decided to go back to Providence as she clearly remembered the snow and cold from when she lived there.
Then she remembered why she had gone there. She had wanted to get as far away from California as possible. She had wanted to get as far away from her problems as was physically possible.
She walked around randomly, something she had done a lot recently. She found that walking allowed for her to just not think anymore, getting distracted by things on the street or by shop windows.
She just continued walking, not sure how long or even what her destination truly was. Finally she came across a small park, with just a few benches, swings, and a small jungle gym for kids. She sat down on one of the benches for a short rest.
Looking at the jungle gym and swings made her avoidance of her problems next to impossible. She couldn't help but think of her family. She couldn't help but realize no matter what she did the thought of them would always be there.
At the sight of a family, with two little girls and a baby in a stroller, Summer found herself losing herself in the thought of the day when it all started going wrong.
Summer sat in the living room of their home, anxiously waiting for Seth to come home with Madeleine. She had news to tell him, really great news.
She was pregnant again. It hadn't been a planned thing. They already had Emma and Madeleine who they loved more than anything--and who were also quite a handful at times, being six and almost two. But still, she was excited about the prospect of having another baby with Seth. Especially considering the last time she had been pregnant, it had not been the best time in the world for them. This time it would be better.
She wondered if maybe this time they would have a boy. As happy as both she and Seth were with their wonderful girls, she knew that sometimes Seth wanted a son. She thought it was because of the lack of the girls' interest in comic books and video games.
And she wasn't going to lie; she thought that a boy would be an amazing addition to their family. She thought that a boy that looked like Seth would be adorable.
She couldn't wait for Seth to come home--he had taken Madeleine to the doctors. Originally Summer had been intending to go with them until she had decided to go to the doctors herself. She was glad she had done so too.
The front door opened wide, Seth coming into the house. Emma was at his side, having taken her too, and Madeleine was in his arms. Summer was about to burst out with her exciting news when she saw the look that was on Seth's face.
"What's wrong?" she pushed all thoughts of sharing her news aside. Madeleine was more important.
Seth locked his eyes with Summer. "Sum…she's sick."
"Okay, do you need me to go to the pharmacy or something?" Summer questioned, immediately about to rush to get her keys to go.
He shook his head, causing her to pause in her motions.
"No. It's not the kind of sick that can just be cured by something from a pharmacy. It's more serious Summer. A lot more serious."
Summer caught his eye, staring directly at him. She saw the scared look that he had in his eyes, the look that he was obviously trying to hide.
He continued to talk, saying something about how they weren't sure exactly, that they needed to have her go back for more tests. He mentioned something about it going to be all right but he was probably saying that just for the benefit of Emma who was listening to his every word.
Summer saw the frightened look in his eyes. She was almost positive that she reflected that look herself. Seth put Madeleine down, so that she could go play with Emma. Then he looked at Summer. She was about to say something but he stopped her.
"I don't want to talk about it right now. Not until we know more about this. Until then, can we just not talk about it?" Summer nodded her head, agreeing with that idea. "How was your doctor's appointment? Please tell me it was good. I can't handle anymore bad news today."
"Oh." Summer paused. She didn't particularly feel excited about sharing her happy news at the moment but it wasn't something that she wanted to keep from Seth. That had been a problem before; they needed to stop keeping things from one another. "I'm pregnant."
Seth looked at her for a minute, not saying anything in response immediately. Then a smile started to spread across his face. "Really?"
"Would I honestly make something like this up?"
Seth shook his head. "This is great…this is great right?"
Summer nodded her head. "I'm excited about it. Well, I was. Now I'm more concerned and worried about Madeleine."
"Don't be. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. It always works out that way. Everything will be okay."
Summer wanted to believe him, she really did. Somehow, she found herself truly unable to do just that. She had a feeling that it was not going to be all right, that things were about to go horribly wrong for their family.
Summer had tears in her eyes just thinking about that day. It had all gone downhill after that day, they had no clue it was all going to go so badly for them.
For some reason thinking about that day made her want to go and talk to her family. She knew that Seth was at work though and the girls were at school and daycare. She wanted them to know that she still loved them and that she missed them. She decided to leave a message on the machine for them, just so that they could hear her voice for the first time in nearly two months.
She walked home quickly, wanting to do it now before she had to go to work. She went back to her bed, sitting down and grabbing the phone. She dialed the number once again.
It rang several times and she knew the answering machine was going to pick up soon. She started thinking about what she wanted to say, what she wanted to tell them when, much to her surprise it was not the answering machine that picked up.
"Hello?"
"Seth? You're home." It took her by surprise so much that she couldn't help but break her 'don't talk to him' rule and she had to say something.
"Yea, Madeleine's sick, I'm staying home with her."
Summer took a deep breath. It wasn't good hearing that she was sick. It could never be a good thing. "Is she all right?"
"It's just the stomach flu."
"Oh." She was so glad it wasn't anything more. She hoped that he realized the relief she was feeling at that moment by the news that it was nothing too serious.
"Why did you call if you know I wasn't going to be home."
She hesitated for just a brief moment before answering. "I was going to leave a message for you guys. I…just wanted the girls to hear my voice."
"So now you want to talk to the girls? It's been nearly two months and all we've gotten is a few silent phone calls over that time, nothing else and now you want to talk to them?"
She sighed heavily. She didn't want to get into this. Not now. She just wanted to talk to someone. "Seth…"
"Is there anything you want me to tell them for you?" His voice was cold, colder than it had been ever before.
"Can I talk to Madeleine? Please?"
She knew he was hesitating, that he was thinking about letting her get on the phone with her daughter. She heard a small voice calling for him in the background and she knew it was Madeleine. She wanted to talk to her so badly.
"I have to go. Madeleine is calling for me. Don't call back unless you're deciding to come home."
She couldn't help but start to cry at this moment. She couldn't come back. Not then. She didn't know when she would. "I'm so sorry but I can't. I can't come home yet."
She waited for him to respond to her, waited for him to tell her that he would come get her. That he wasn't going to let her stay away from them anymore. That he missed her and he wanted her back.
He didn't do any of that. Instead he hung up on her, just as she had done to him so many times before. He was shutting her out just like she had. Suddenly she understood how he felt when she did all of those things to him.
She laid on her twin sized bed, feeling more alone than ever before.