Three sides of the prism

By Inugami

Alphonse Heiderich POV

Previous notes: Full Metal Alchemist characters belong to their respective authors and those who had bought the franchise license. This is written only for fun, I don't earn any money despite I need it; moreover, the song is not mine either, it belongs to Gackt and neither I earn anything using it (nee... and where's the "touka koukan" or Equivalent Exchange?)

This part of the fic is written from Heiderich's POV. I think he felt something for Ed… It's a shame that Ed seemed not to correspond him (or it was good? Since what happened to him was… you know).

Warnings? Yaoi, shounen ai, angst, big Conqueror of Shambala spoilers. If you don't like male x male, don't read!

~*~*~

Chapter 2: Hold me until I break.

I noticed it when we met for the first time on the train station of Munich. Your look, your astonished expression, your almost disbelief… You were unable to speak until I broke the ice with a question that intended to be a joke; but later I understood that was truly a cruel joke.

- Edward Elric? Nice to meet you, I'm Alphonse Heiderich.

- Nice to… meet you, A… Haide… Hiede… Heiderich – You answered, with that expression in your face.

- What's up, you had lost one like me? ¡Let's go, you must be tired for the long travel!

kurayami wo tsuyoku terasu aoi tsuki

suimen no zawameki ha kaze no uta

kese ha shinai ayamachi wo kurikaesu

watashi-tachi no ashiato wo mitsumeteita

(The blue moon lights up the darkness

The murmur on the surface of the water is the song of the wind

It looks down upon the footsteps

Of we who keep repeating mistakes that are not erased)

When we started to live together, sharing our knowledge and developing our investigations, I noticed that you are a good person, although you had something hidden. Because sometimes you just stared at the distance, your amber-colored eyes lost in the endless blue sky.

You were searching for something… Something you lost and you wanted to get back.

And I realized that you really had lost one like me…

Despite of this, and your weird stories, being with you was all I began to wish. Although I knew that your heart was someone else's, I wanted to fill at least part of that emptiness that you had inside.

And after a lot of efforts from me, you allowed me to do it.

nobashita yubisaki ni fureru anata no namida ga

itsuka wa otozureru asu wo akaku someteyuku

"sasayaka na hitotoki ga nagaku tsuzukimasu you ni..." to

hoshi ni inoru watashi wo kowareru hodo dashimeta

(Your tears that my outstretched fingertip touches

May one day paint the coming future red

"May this fleeting moment stretch on...?"

So I prayed to the stars as you held me so tight I might break)

I calmed the desire of physical contact you had. And I didn't mind that you called him instead me in the middle of your rapture. Or at least, I pretended I didn't mind. After all, you had been sincere from the beginning

­- Ed… I know you love someone else… You love the Alphonse who is in the other world. But please, let me at least soothe your suffering… Let me touch you, let me embrace you… I wanna make something for you…

doredake no kanashimi wo seottemo

itsu no hi ka, mukuwareru hi ga kuru kara

(No matter how much sadness you bear

Someday, you will be rewarded)

You turned your face to me, trying to hide the tears formed in your golden eyes. You didn't answer, but neither evaded me when I embraced you sliding my hand on your back.

- Let me be a piece of your heaven in this world…

- Only if you are willing to accept that you aren't the one I love… – You said, teary-eyed and sad-voiced.

- Anything… Anything just for you…

And you allowed my touch, my kisses, and my closeness. And I was happy.

Even when I knew that it wasn't me the one you really loved. Even when I knew your love wasn't like mine.

tomaranai haguruma ni futari ha tada hikizurare

kimagure ni sugiteyuku toki no nagare ha hayasugite

"mou modorenai no nara, anata no te de koroshite..." to

yoru ni sakebu watashi no hitomi wo tada mitsumeteta

(We are simply being dragged along in the unstopping cogs

The all too fickle flow of time is too fast

"If we can't go back, then kill me with your own hands..."

So I cried out to the night as you simply looked into my eyes)

Since then, there was just only thing that exceeded my passion about Rocketry. And that was making you happy. Making you dream, at least for a moment, that you were back on the arms of the one you loved so much. And maybe you will forget all those things and stay with me forever, finally loving me, not someone else.

I loved seeing you smiling, even when I didn't believe your stories. Forgiving your mischiefs, as letting me paying the bills or changing numbers on my notes. Looking for you, and having you looking for me, when one of us got sick (it was almost always you, for eating too much or sleeping naked). Hearing your complains every time I tried to make you drink milk. Awakening when you had one of those horrible nightmares that tortured you and cast away the fear that overwhelmed you.

But… There's always something wrong. Because I still was trying to help you to go back to your Alchemy world, if it was real. And that was conflicting with my wish of having you at my side forever.

Even so, I was happy working with you; your happiness was mine. But the pain was still there, and little by little it becomes more and more true… More and more physical.

Until it became a wound in me.

- I have bad news for you, Mr. Heiderich… If your disease gets worse probably you will not have much lifetime…

Because when I denied the pain in my soul, it became a physical pain. That's when I noticed that this love was just killing me. This unrequited love was shattering my body, my soul, my life… That the fragments of your dream pierced my heart and were killing me little by little.

And despite of that I wanted to continue.

And I did it.

Maybe with less passion, but more tenderness. With a more loving touch, even when it was unrequited, I think you learned to love me, perhaps not as I loved you, but it was pleasant.

It reassured my determination of making your dreams true. As a way to thank you for letting me to be with you in that sweet way, healing a bit of your wounds and just loving you…

azayaka ni chirinagara wakare no uta, sasageyou

nemuri kara sameru toki anata no ude de mezametai

"mou ichido anata ni aemasu you ni..." to

hoshi ni inoru watashi wo aoi tsuki ha mitsumeteta

(Let me offer this song of parting as it is brilliantly torn apart

When I wake up from this sleep, I want to be in your arms

"May I see you one more time...?"

So I prayed to the stars as the blue moon looks down upon me)

And finally I did it. Now you're on the way to your world. And even if I remain here alone, I want you to be always happy.

- We aren't part of your dream… Even if I die, I'll be still alone. I'll be still here. Don't forget me… – I said, almost like a beg, while I hold your hand. If I only had the courage to kiss you…

And while I saw you fly away in that machine I made just to get you back to your world, I also saw my dreams, illusions and hopes flying away… Even so, I was happy, even when you took away my life with you.

Because when you parted, I closed my eyes forever.

Although in some ways I just fell asleep in the memory of your warmth.

dakishimete...

kowareru made dakishimete...

(Hold me...

Hold me until I break...)

Thanks… For the best moments of my life.

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Ending talk: Second songfic. Next (and last) one is an Elricest from Ed's POV. R&R please!