THOUGHTS OF ATROCITY AND OTHER BAD STUFF…

It turned out, three hours later, as she munched on her pasta, engulfing fist-sized meatballs (Cyborg had cooked), she still couldn't get it completely out of her mind.

He was sitting right across from her, for the love of Chrysler! There was sauce on his mouth, and a whip of it on his cheek, just under his eye that was left when he slurped up a string of spaghetti.

Do I find this attractive? She thought. It was horrifying. It couldn't be true.

But still, underneath that sauce, suddenly, now, she could see his mouth.

The shape of it… the top was thinner than the lower, and expressive, with a permanent uplift on one side, giving it a particularly devious quality. And his cheekbones were high and slightly wide, showing off his large sparkling green eyes, making his whole face look open and accepting. A little naïve and kind. Cheerful and warm.

Raven stabbed another meatball and shoved it into her mouth, chewing steadily.

"So when will it be up and running?" asked Robin.

Cyborg swallowed, a lump of food visible in his throat. "I still need to test it – you know, make sure it doesn't explode when I rev the engine – so maybe a week if I get that part I need. It'll add stealth. Right now, we couldn't sneak up on a sloth."

"Sounds awesome."

Robin, on the other hand, had a straighter face, with sharp cheekbones and a hardness that denoted his serious nature. Only in these times, when he was relaxed and among friends, did he ease up a little and just be. For a while, it wasn't about saving the world and proving something, it was about being with friends and having a good time.

I guess he kind of needs us all, just like I kind of need everyone too.

She stared hard at him, trying to illicit some sort of emotion.

Those fan girls had it. What could they see, what could they feel that wasn't there for her? Yes, she could concede, he was cute, hot even. He was thin and lithe, tall with narrow hips. His shoulders were broad and strong, his arms were steel and his hands were large and sure. Maybe it was the gloves? She couldn't see their strength.

Is that my thing now? Hands?

She shook her head. No, there were other things about him too. Like the way he ducked his head when he ate, and looked up at everyone as they spoke, eating but still giving them his undivided attention. He was like that – always made you know he was paying attention. Always interested without forcing himself to be interested. Knew something was wrong and talked to you about it, was upset when you were upset.

Suddenly, Cyborg laughed, shaking the table with the rumbling.

Raven turned her attention to him, noticing, since this was turning into a routine now I guess, his mouth. Robins had been thinner than Beast Boy's but still somehow supple. Cyborg's mouth was positively luscious.

Raven wondered briefly that if she kissed him, would he be gentle? He looked like he'd be a gentle kisser – not that she had any experience with deducing the kissing styles of boys. But his lips looked so soft.

His figure was dominating, but by his happy face and dark, endlessly joyful eyes were what set him off. He was nothing more than a giant teddy bear.

And he was dedicated, which was evident when he worked. He could spend hours on something and not stop – taking apart something small – like the antique clock she'd had. Without her asking, he'd offered to fix it and took it apart right in front of her, handling the delicate little pieces with care and precision, talking all the while about how it worked. Most of what he said went flying right over her head. But it had been nice to hear him talk. Without realizing, she'd been lulled and soothed by his voice, staring at his face until he'd suddenly proclaimed he was done.

"Ahh! Man I'm done!"

Raven snapped out of her trance, coming back to the real world. Everyone was finishing up, and her spaghetti was cold.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Me too. I'll be in my room if you guys need me.

It was time for some serious meditation now. Maybe after a few house of intense concentration, she'd go back to normal and stop noticing things about him, like the way he set his fork down as she stood, and how his eyes caught the light as they flicked up into her own, or how when he breathed –

"son of a -!"

She practically sprinted out of the room, using her power to send her plate skittering across the counter and slide to a halt at the edge of the counter before toppling into the disposal. (for various purposes, let's say they're disposable plates.)

Soon after Raven had beat a hasty, very strange exit, Starfire had glared at her plate, which was empty save for a few smears of sauce. The boys had fallen relatively silent, watching her.

There was something wrong with the girls of the tower.

Raven had been silent, not unusual. But she usually cracks a sarcastic quip every now and then if someone left themselves open for it. There had been many opportunities for such remarks, but she hadn't taken the bait, not even the supremely obvious ones that Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy had deliberately played into just to see if she'd buy it.

She hadn't. She'd just stared at each of them, oblivious to their nervous expressions, or strained conversations. Her eyes would roam over them, landing in various places, sizing them up, concentrating, then getting this angry look on her face that made the boys suddenly fearful of whatever she was mulling over in her mind.

Starfire had been on another planet entirely, eating and eating, until, conceivably, she couldn't eat anymore. In fact, she'd topped Cyborg pound for pound on pasta consumption. One would wonder at how she could do so, especially without having to hang her gut over the table just to sit comfortably, but she was so slender. Toned with muscle, and powerful.

And not a speck of sauce on her or her clothes despite the distracted way she was acting.

Starfire usually contributed to the conversation, moreso than Raven, asking questions about this and that. She was a curious girl, and still, after all these years, hadn't completely figured out a lot of Earth. But damnit she tried. At least, before she had.

Now she just stood, ignoring or not noticing the attention of the boys as she tossed her plate and glided out of the room.

Robin let out a breath. "Any idea what's going on?"

"Not a clue. What do you think is up with them?" Cyborg pushed his plate away, and fiddled with the fork, which seemed downright miniscule in his large fingers. He turned to Beast Boy. "What was up with Raven?"

Beast boy shrugged, then quirked an eyebrow. "I think she was a little weird at the store. I mean, after we got away from Joanie, she just kind of shut down. I kept trying to talk to her, but she got this really weird look on her face."

"What kind of look?" asked Robin, a frown appearing on his face.

Beast Boy shrugged again. "I don't know. Like she was sick or something. Kind of mad, a little queasy."

"Yeah, I got that." Said Cyborg with a smirk. "When you all came back."

Beast boy flushed, remembering the scene.

He'd kept his arm around Raven, leading her on, afraid if he let go, she'd just bob away like a stick pulled away by an invisible current. She would sway into his every step, knocking into his side, a fumbling sort of listless air in her gait.

He'd tried to keep up a steady stream of talk, but realized now he must have been babbling, but it all passed through her. Obviously she was elsewhere, and as he watched, a slow veil of horror and disgust had fallen over her expression. Though she had schooled her features well over the years, Beast Boy was keen enough to deduce the slight changes in her face, and besides, her guard was down – it was like something had slammed full force into her, making her vulnerable and uncharacteristically decipherable.

He hadn't been sure when they got to the bay, whether she would separate from him there, and carry the bags while he morphed into something that would take him over the water to the top of the tower. He waited, tense as all hell, but she hadn't made a move, just created a dark disk under them so all he could do was stand, with her still under his arm.

He wasn't sure when the best time would be for him to extract himself from her, or whether she had even noticed that he was touching her. But the more time he held her, the more uncomfortably intimate it seemed. And if she hadn't noticed his arm was around her, then surely, as he removed it, she would suddenly realize it. And then he'd pay.

So he held onto her.

They reached the top of the Tower, and Cyborg was there waiting for them.

It was his face that must have brought Raven back to earth and then brought them all a little closer, faster, to the earth as well. She must have lost her concentration, or been so blindingly furious at the situation – realizing Beast Boy had been holding onto her all this time, tipped off by the unbelieving look on Cyborg's face. A face that said clearly, "What-the-hell-am-I-in-some-sort-of-twilight-zone-cause-there-is-something-definitely-wrong-with-this-picture-right-here". Because anyway, the disk they'd been floating in on blinked out of existence and they fell the rest of the way down.

It was only three feet, but it wasn't high enough to be a short free-fall and not low enough to be just a slight hick-up. It was a jarring sort of fall, which might not have been too bad, if maybe Beast Boy's brain hadn't had a spasm that made him press Raven in close to him. Maybe it was some latent protective instinct that had obviously overruled some other survival instinct that plainly knew it wasn't a good idea to press a girl, any girl, and especially not Raven – who could be deadly – into you unless you were seconds away from the end of the world.

A three foot drop was not the end of the world, but damn if it felt like it should have been.

Beast Boy had about enough time to marvel at the way Raven's… girl parts… felt against his body. The stark contrast of her female softness, which was not a term he had ever, and would ever describe her as (at least not out loud) was mesmerizing. The top of her head came up to just around his chin and she'd pulled back to stare into his face and the moment seemed surreal and somehow suspended in time. It was the smell of her, and the feel of her and… the… slight… tremor he felt as she sucked in a breath, sharp and fast, bringing other parts of her to his full attention. It was all of her, pressed into his chest, his side, his hip, his leg, like it all fit. He wondered at the way her fingers, which he noticed where rather neat and tapered off delicately, unlike his which seemed blunt and clumsy, tightened around the fabric of his clothes, and… was she pulling him in? Pulling him closer?

Her face was dark crimson and the look in her eyes told of murder and horrors unknown. She hadn't been pulling him closer, she'd been securing her hold. Her eyebrows came down, and Beast Boy's stomach sank.

Then it all went to hell.

"Bwah-ha-ha-ha!"

Snapping back to the present with a jerk, Beast Boy's face was red, red, red. Cyborg was laughing at him.

"You should have seen your face! God, I thought I was going to have to pick up the pieces of you from all over the city."

Robin shook his head. "I don't want to touch that. Not with a ten foot pole and a Hazmat uniform."

Which left Starfire, the resident alien.

"I haven't seen her in a while, but then I've been in the garage," said Cyborg.

"Yeah, I mean, we've all been a little busy."

Robin drummed his fingers against the table. "Well, whatever this is about, I'm sure we're going to find out about it soon. This stuff always has a way of blowing up, and always seems to leave us scorched in pretty nasty places."

Beast Boy's ears drooped.

"I guess we'll just have to wait for the fallout." Cyborg said, scratching his jaw. "Well! Anyone want ice-cream?"

I have no knack for making anything cartoony and 'blah! In yo' face, sucka!' but I try and make it humorous. Does it seem too serious? I don't want it to come out all angsty.

It's funny, because this the first story I was sure I wasn't going to plan out. Actually I had a plan, but then I realized it's been done before – like in a real episode. I gasped and died, and now I have to think up something else. Too late to retrace my steps now. Ha. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

I want to make sure I'm staying true to the characters. If there's anything you don't like, please tell me, and feel free to give me some suggestions.

Beast Boy and Raven are my favorite pairing, but they're not all I'm aiming for. I'm prepared to add in some Robin and Starfire stuff, and Cyborg needs a girl. So that'll be my own original character, and she'll be good for him, but she'll be bad – oh, so bad. Because Cyborg deserves some sassy bitch to even out the moody, droning, cool, sarcastic Raven and the bubbly, naïve, childishly-curious, never-endingly endearing Starfire.

Actually it isn't in me to make a bubbly character, but I'll try my hardest – because Starfire isn't Starfire without the wince-inducing sunshine goodness.