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1. Set him up on a date with the little mermaid.
2. Order Fish food ramen for him when you and him go to the ramen shop.
3. Tell him he's not a patch on Jaws.
4. Do shark impressions whenever he enters a room.
5. Ask him is he misses life with the fishes.
6. Whisper "If that's what the kid looks like I dread to think what the parents look like."
7. Poke him
8. Flood the Akatsuki bathroom and when confronted about it say with massive puppy eyes "But Kwisame misses the ocewan!"
9. Replace his cloak with a pink party frock.
10. Sign him up to go on tour with a travelling freak show.
11. Say "I bet that blue skin is just makeup!"
12. Tell him how ugly he is compared to those cute chibi plushies of him on eBay.
13. Glomp him for no apparent reason.
14. Tell him Itachi wants him to join the lonely hearts club.
15. Talk loudly about the time that you found fish food in your solemn noodles after Kisame made you dinner. (This will make him more annoyed if this never really did happen.)
16. Ask him what flavour ice-cream fish like.
17. Ask him "How can a fish ever qualify being a ninja, missing-nin or not?"
18. Say "I bet even Jaws has more Fangirls than you sharkman!"
19. Cry
20. Play with the taps when he's in the shower.