002 Sleepwalking

The following years with Azula feels like walking in a dream.

"Who is my daddy?" Two-year old Yoshino is a precocious child spoilt rotten by her rich weekly visitor who also happened to be her mommy's longtime girlfriend. Azula brought gifts from every corner of the world her missions take her to. Azula calls them errands. Ty Lee is inclined to address it in its more dangerous reality. None of those presents are dolls.

"Does it matter?" Azula says. She is frowning, looking displeased. Ty Lee hopes that like everything else, Yoshino would think that her auntie would just be kidding. Like when mommy plays dead and pretends to be a dragon. Azula is never one for those roleplay games, even when they were children but impressionable two-year-olds should not be able to take inherent harshness seriously. The toddler, thankfully only giggles at the scowl. "You already have two mothers."

"Cool!" The child exclaims with glee. She munches on her chocolates, happily oblivious. Ty Lee's heart flutters against her will as Azula carefully dislodges the girl from her embrace and takes a call in the other room. She does not hear even a snippet of the conversation but she realizes instantly what it is all about when Azula bids an early goodbye with a hasty retreat and a quick high five to her daughter. She is gone before Ty Lee could wish for her safety. For the rest of the day, Yoshino revels about finally being allowed to call her Auntie Azula "Mother".

"Why wouldn't Mother stay?" is Yoshino's question when Ty Lee tucks her to bed that night. She learned quickly. Perhaps, it sounds and feels natural enough. Ty Lee reaches for the switch of the lampshade , hesitating at the inquisitive look in those wide, brown eyes—she does not have to imagine it is gold anymore- before relenting and sighing an uncertain response.

"She does not have to."

"But you two are my mothers." She observes. Yoshino does not have gold eyes. Yoshino does not have the same aristocratic features that will sharpen over time. But in these moments that the two-year-old girl shows a brilliance preceded only by the woman she adored so much, Yoshino becomes Azula's daughter too as much as Ty Lee's. "And you should live together, hmmm?"

Perhaps their relationship has turned further than secret meetings and bathroom hook-ups. Perhaps Azula now stays for coffee and actually says goodbye. Perhaps Azula is back again in her life, mostly because she is in the same country as Ty Lee once more. But Ty Lee does not know, does not understand why she stays and why Ty Lee lets her. Ty Lee does not know why she lets herself hope through such false promises.

"She does not have to." is her murmur to herself. Yoshino does not take it as an answer because she herself forgot that she asked a question. The girl yawns and Ty Lee does not resist the fond smile from breaking out. "Now, now, a good girl goes to sleep early." She has early kindergarten duty the next day. It pays better than the casino on an hourly basis but parents do not exactly leave tips for a job well done.

"I can give you a job." Azula impatiently suggests when Ty Lee adamantly refused her help for the hydro bill. The rent was taken care of. And they have enough in the fridge to last them a week. But a frugal menu is hardly acceptable for an heiress who owns half the city. Azula is sitting crosslegged in the patio as Yoshino scales on her knees with a fiery determination she totally got from Ty Lee. Ty Lee wonders if this early, almost unhealthy fixation to dark-haired, golden-eyed elegance is inherited as well. Ty Lee cannot bear to discourage her own daughter from it. "You can work for my company. As my secretary."

"But then that means I would be closer to them. My family." Her life as one of her parent's matched set is a life she has ran away from. To this day, she does not have regrets. She knows of their connections to the underworld, the unethical drugs they make for the Organization. She does not want to be part of that world anymore. And yet she kisses, touches, fucks Azula everytime she wants to take a break from their syndicate. Ty Lee recognizes her own hypocrisy. It is not appreciated. "I don't want that."

Loving Azula becomes a dream she is living in, a fantasy she never thought would be fulfilled. When the three of them share meals, it is perfect. When Yoshino first steps into day care, it is Azula who grasps her shoulders and gives her the encouragement that she needs. "You can do it." Their life together is perfect. Azula is perfect. But she leaves every night and Ty Lee would spend each passing day with her worrying that she would not return.

Each successful assassination of a shady politician, each contraband shipment that is not intercepted. Ty Lee watches the news in rapt attention for missions accomplished and in wariness of shortcomings that might cause Azula's freedom. Or her life. When Azula comes back unscathed, Ty Lee would generously allow herself a huge sigh in relief. And Yoshino would leap into arms that never pushed her away.

She could tell that Azula does not want to talk about it. Ty Lee becomes a secret life, a reprieve from the violence that has become her world since she was acknowledged a genius. And in the small smiles that her daughter beams at and the gifts that are more than just monetary offerings, Ty Lee thinks, tries to believe that for now, it is enough.

"Maybe we should get married." Azula suddenly suggests one morning. The two year old is struggling with Flappy Bird and Azula is wearing a small, uncharacteristic smile. Ty Lee realizes that in those three years with the daughter that they tacitly shared, she has always been waiting for Azula to say that. Ty Lee decides that she likes the bright glint of satisfaction in her eyes and she would like to see more of it.

"Sure." She tries her best to sound as halfhearted as Azula did but her much too wide grin betrays her joy. For this is even better.

The best way to remove one's illusions after all, is to make them come true.

...