Hera pulled back when she realized Caleb had gone stiff.
"Caleb…you've changed." She said sadly, and her eyes were far too mature for a girl of eleven. Caleb wanted to say something, anything, to reassure her, but his jaw was glued shut. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear- an echo of a motherly gesture Depa had once displayed. Caleb's heart stung.
"Not a fan of the hair." she told him with a weak smile.
Janus cleared his throat. The Twi'leks were watching, flicking their headtails in unrest and staring them down. Caleb took the cue and detangled himself from the girl's hands, stepping quickly back to the Kalleran's side. He did his best not to look anyone in the eye.
"Hera," Cham spoke, beckoning the girl back to his side. She hesitated only for a second, still eying Caleb with wide eyes as she withdrew.
Cham sat in his chair and leaned his forearms on the stone table. "Firstly, I thank you for meeting with me under such circumstances."
Kasmir tossed his jaw carelessly, and shrugged off the welcome. "I go wherever the credits are calling me."
"Indeed." Cham said. His eyes skirted over Caleb. I remember you, his eyes said. But yet, not at all. Caleb knew exactly how that felt.
He nodded to Caleb, just slightly, and his lekku twitched. Caleb slowly took a seat.
Caleb never would have thought he'd meet him again, and at a stone table no less. Caleb wondered if he could ask to be kicked out this time, just to uphold tradition.
A few other Twi'leks sat in the mismatched chairs and clung to the walls. They said nothing, but their headtails twitched in silent communication. One girl, Caleb noted, bore striking resemblance to Cham and must have been Hera's older sister.
Caleb caught his shaking hand reaching up to rub the hair at the nape of his neck.
"I will tell you now, I was never in the market for droids. The order was a ruse to sift out those with the means to work outside of government control. I'm looking for reliable allies, informants and supplies."
"Reliable" may not be the right word for Kasmir, but he was certainly an interesting ally.
Janus didn't answer immediately. He leaned back in his chair and chuckled. "You are a cunning man, but I'm in the market for money, which means I'm in the market for spice I'll need at our next stop. If you have no need for droids and no spice for me, there is no deal."
"We have the spice," Cham said. "But we have more to offer that may be more lucrative for us both."
Hera sat up straighter. "We know about what happened to the Republic. Together, we can-"
"Haven't you heard? The war is over, little girl." Kasmir cut her off, shaking his large head with a soft condescending smile. "No more Republic, no more Seps."
Hera scowled and looked at Caleb. He looked away.
"This isn't over. There's still more to fight for!"
Cham flicked a hand, indicating enough had been said, but she wasn't quite done just yet.
"Anyone with sense should be fighting this- You should be fighting."
"Anyone with sense would stay out of war," Caleb mumbled. No one noticed.
Kasmir broke the tension in the air by letting out a loud crack of laughter, startling Caleb.
"You build 'em with high hopes in these parts." He said to Cham.
"Hope has more power than you might expect." Cham replied, "Now you know well enough by now that we are no friends of this new Empire. Many believe a new dawn has come, but Ryloth is not so easily fooled. We have been before, and we will not make the same mistakes."
"You can join us and we can fight back together." Hera added, and Cham looked at her with an odd mix of pride and rebuke. Just like Depa.
"That is one option. Or your simplest support would be of great value. We know you smuggle for profit…but would you smuggle for something greater then yourself?"
Something greater was the opposite of what Caleb wanted. He'd stood for something more and now he had nothing.
Nothing he'd ever done had meant anything. All his years of training and he hadn't been able to save his master or their way of life.
What Cham, what Hera, spoke of was war. And Caleb had seen the fruitlessness of that first hand.
All too soon these fools would realize the same thing. Change came with pain. Change came with war, riding on the backs of everyone. No one won in war.
The fall of the Republic and the Separatists had proved that, and here they were looking to start another one.
"No." Caleb spat suddenly, drawing everyone's attention.
Janus had been opening his mouth and Caleb wondered if he would have said something different, but that wasn't Caleb's concern. "No idealistic mission is worth death. I learned that the hard way. Nothing, nothing was worth killing my Master!" Caleb didn't know what he was saying anymore, or who he was angry with. Maybe the whole galaxy. Maybe the Jedi. Blast the Jedi! They were all dead anyway.
"It would do you good to learn that too." He added sharply. He didn't meet anyone's eyes especially Hera's.
"I'm afraid the Kid's got sense." Kasmir said finally. "So it looks like we won't be dealing business any time soon."
Cham sat back in his seat, steepling his hands. "That is unfortunate. We can offer you shelter here until nightfall. Your spice will be delivered to your ship in trade of your droids at dawn, and you are free to move about as you please. Agreed?"
Kasmir nodded.
There was flurry of movement, as Cham stood up, followed by every other Twi'lek at the table. They moved together down a second tunnel. Caleb could hear them chattering underneath their breath.
Hera had lingered, half in and half out of the hallway. Caleb knew she was about to say something.
He turned his back on her clearing his throat. "So we just have to wait around? When are we leaving?" He demanded.
"When I get my spice." Kasmir answered shortly, watching the girl over his shoulder and making no move to hide it. Caleb grit his teeth and waited until Kasmir's eyes had followed Hera out of the room.
Caleb had expected the Twi'lek to keep them locked underground until their trade that evening, but since their meeting, they had largely been left on their own, expect when a tall green Twi'lek female had come to offer them a small hot terrine of protein broth and damper bread.
The meal was meager but wholesome, and Caleb feels his cheeks burn with shame as the woman smiled at him as he handed him a steaming cup.
He didn't deserve to be served.
Caleb finished his food as fast as he could and escaped into the setting sun.
Caleb knew Hera would come talk to him eventually, she was stubborn that way. It would be admirable if he hadn't hiked up this hill to be alone.
"Tell me," Hera said, putting a small hand on his shoulder. "Are you in the market for a friend?"
"No." Caleb said and he hated the word. "I'm in the market for staying alive.
Hera frowned, and Caleb barely had it in him to feel guilty. Eventually she'd see that the galaxy was a lost cause and so was he. The loss was bitter, and so was his tongue.
Caleb squinted into the horizon and shuffled dry pebbles in his hand. The Ryloth sunset bathed everything in red, painted the dry dust into red clay and the valley below a bloody red. Or maybe that was how he remembered it, looking at the light saber scars. Just months ago he'd saved Depa from Grievous, and now when it had mattered he'd obeyed orders as blindly as a droid.
Hera sat beside him. Her dress was still grease-stained like the one she'd worn when he'd met her, but it seemed even more worn out like everything in Ryloth. The sudden poverty had come over Ryloth like persistent storm clouds.
It was all a game of power, the Republic's had been thinly veiled with the Jedi's morals. The Empire had ripped that veil and Caleb wondered what the politicians would hide behind now. Maybe their own power, hungrily kept and easily taken.
"You could have both, you know. It's not really living without a friend."
"Well I'm living just fine with Janus. I don't need anyone to validate me."
Hera rubbed his hand. Hers were warm and soothing, and Caleb pulled away before he could relax too far into them. Hera frowned. "It's okay to not be strong. Caleb-"
"Don't call me that!" He said. The name burned him. "I'm not Caleb!"
Hera recoiled. "What? Of course you are. You're my Caleb."
"I'm not! I'm not Caleb and I'm not yours or anyone's! I can't be Caleb anymore. Sorry to disappoint, but you get used to it."
Caleb got up to leave, kicking up dust and turning his back on the valley below. Somewhere out there the Kasmiri parked in the shadow of the Empire's new building. A short jump away to freedom.
"Just because you changed doesn't mean you can't be my Caleb. I'll still care about you. You can't stop me, you can't defend me. I don't care if I get hurt."
Caleb didn't answer.
She didn't realize that he cared if she got hurt, that he couldn't stand to be hurt again when he had to break another bond.
"What happened, Caleb?" Hera whispered. "Palatine said the Jedi turned against the Republic. It was him. Wasn't it? All along it was him."
Caleb paused. His shoulder blades ached, they were pinned up around his ears. "All I know," he said, "is that the Clones betrayed us. I watched them gun down my Master. They were animals!" he choked. He couldn't breathe right anymore, but it was all welling out in a flood of pent up emotion and tears. "We fought and ate side by side and they gunned her down while I ran!"
Hera out a hand on his shoulder. Caleb whirled around, gripping her by her slight arms and squeezing, squeezing. Don't go. "I should have stayed! I should have defended my Master! She would have lived and she would know what to do, she'd rally up anyone she could and she would fight back!'
"Then rally us! Honor your Master and fight back! You know you want to!"
Caleb shook his head, squeezing tighter now. "I don't! I don't want to because I'm a coward!
Hera's tears collected at the point of her wobbling chin. "Caleb. Caleb, let go. It hurts."
The mist in front of his eyes cleared, her big green eyes were wet and begging. Let go.
Caleb let go of her arms, where gray-red bruises bloomed on her arms. Caleb's hands were shaking.
"I'm- I'm so sorry."
Caleb turned to run, blocking out her protests with the beat of his feet and the clouds of dust he blinked out of his eyes.
Run, run, run. All he did was run.
Hera found him again that evening. She stood outside the cockpit of the Kasmiri and waved until Caleb was too annoyed to ignore her.
Caleb kicked the side of the ship. "What's taking Janus so long?" He asked.
Hera sat down on the ramp, but Caleb remained standing. Her eyes were so disappointed, her lips were pursed. She crossed her arms over the ugly bruises Caleb had left on her.
"He's negotiating with my father. You're going to stay the night. He sent me to get you so you wouldn't be sleeping out here alone."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
"Not an option," Hera said, standing and setting her jaw. "He doesn't want you out here. The Empire is right above you, they're going to get suspicious eventually. They'll come looking for you. And us."
Caleb glanced up at the new building, still being built. The sun was setting, bright whispers of red fading to blues and purples. The black, twisted frame of the building pierced the beauty with its ugly, sinister spires.
It would only take so long, he knew. Soon the clones would come, if the guards already here didn't first. He told himself it would only be one night, and it was better than being captured when he was alone.
Caleb took the hand Hera offered him and let her lead him back.
Caleb lay awake on his bedroll. He could hear the Twi'leks breathing around him, hear their hearts beating.
This place was so alive, and warm with beating hearts and sleeping minds, but behind it the sickness spread. Like the creeper vines, despondency crept into every mind, the Empire spread and poverty became a pandemic.
But with it the anger and the hope spread too. Caleb wondered how long it would take for war to start, how long until he was stuck in the crossfire again. He wouldn't fight this time, but you don't get a choice if war takes you in its clutches and leaves you bare and scarred, like a battlefield.
Caleb wondered how many more scars he could take before his heart stopped beating.
The Twi'lek thought they needed him, he could feel it. Behind the discomfort, he heard them thinking: Tal Jedi Tann.
Our champion Jedi, our hope.
He wasn't a Jedi. He'd disappoint them if he let them keep hoping. He couldn't stay, soon fate would find him. He wasn't ready to find it, he would keep running until his legs gave out beneath him.
Regardless of what the Twi'lek offered him, he would leave tomorrow.
With or without Janus.
"What's wrong with you, Kid?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?" Caleb asked, throwing hishands up. "I thought you were all about profit! Don't tell me you're going to get involved in their stupid, idealistic war!"
"If I remember right, you fought the last idealistic war, no?"
"And I learned from it. They're starting another one," Caleb had to stand on the tips of his toes to meet Janus's eyes. He thrust his jaw forward. "Now stop ignoring the question. Are you getting involved?"
"No, Kid. Relax! I'm here for spice, and then we can leave this dustball and never come back. Happy?"
"Overjoyed."
But as he kicked up the red dust, he couldn't help but ache at the thought of never coming back.
Which meant he had to leave as soon as possible, before he grew too attached.
Cham steered five hovercrates toward their ship. Hera and her sister followed, and a few Twi'lek straggled behind to watch.
The Imperial building under construction loomed above them, with only a few guards on duty, but enough to make Caleb anxious.
It was very early in the morning, early enough to still be called night. The sky was slate gray and the dust was sticky with dew.
"Five crates of spice, no charge. A gift. We hope you consider changing your minds. You would be…" He glanced at Caleb then. "Powerful allies."
Janus shook his head and took the crates. "I don't think we'll be coming back. Good luck with the war."
Cham almost winced.
Hera caught his eye. "Caleb."
Not my name, he thought, but he didn't know what she could call him instead. It would be useless now, because they would never meet again.
"You don't have to run," she whispered. "You can stay, and we can keep you safe."
Caleb shook his head. He glanced up at the half-built skeleton above them. Soon, he'd be forced to if he didn't now. "I do. I have to run. It was her last order and I intend to keep it."
He didn't bother arguing with her about how "safe" he would be if she got the war she wanted. He didn't want another goodbye to be bitter.
"You Master. She was…" She paused, like she didn't know what to say.
"She was everything. Now she's nothing."
"I'm sorry."
Caleb nodded, rubbing the hair at the nape of his neck.
Janus put a hand on his arm. "Say goodbye to your girlfriend," he said, but his tone was too soft to make Caleb embarrassed.
He bowed, just once, like he used to at the Temple. Her eyes widened.
Then he turned and boarded the Kasmiri, without looking back.
Janus gripped the steering yoke as Caleb settled into his chair. He cleared his throat. "Making the jump to hyperspace," he announced.
Caleb tried not to look as they punctured the atmosphere, but the pull was too strong. The planet hovered below; a hazy ring of light surrounded it. The Star Destroyers still hovered above, but their shadows seemed shorter, just for the moment, the planet looked peaceful.
Then the stars were pulled around them and it was gone. Caleb wasn't sure if he was glad to see it go, but the imprint of it burned on the back of his lids as he settled in to nap. It wasn't quite gone yet.