Chapter Two
No matter how far I got from La Push and from Jacob, I could still feel him. I felt the burning of his hands on my back, the urgency in his kiss. Yet the most staggering thing was the intensity of the emotion it had brought out of me. In that moment, in Jacob's arms, I had wanted to be nowhere else.
How had this happened? When had I started feeling this way about Jacob? I felt disoriented, utterly thrown off balance. The most burning question was how had I not noticed it sooner?
I felt the seat vibrating under me and I realized I was shaking violently. I pulled over and tried to get my bearings. Edward's face flashed through my mind and I had to choke back a frantic sob. What--what--was I going to say to him? Would he force me to choose? The tears I'd been holding back started falling at the thought of living without him again. It wasn't even a possibility. If he left again now, it would really kill me.
I had to tell him the truth. I would beg for forgiveness if I had to. I would not lose him a second time.
I could tell by the look in Edward's eyes when I got back that he knew where I had been. He was sitting on my bed, but he jumped up as soon as he saw me.
"Bella, what happened?" he demanded, clutching at me anxiously. "Alice saw your future disappear about an hour ago and I ran right over here. You were already gone. Bella, please tell me what's wrong!"
A glance at the mirror behind him told me why he was so frantic. I was white as a sheet, and the panic on my face was immediately obvious.
"Edward, I--" I tried to continue, but it felt like something was blocking my throat. All I could manage was a strangled noise that only upset him further. He helped me onto the bed, holding me as if I would break. When I looked at him again, his eyes were filled with a rage that frightened me.
"What did he do to you?" he asked, his voice shaking with fury.
I was so shocked I couldn't speak for a moment.
"Edward, Jacob didn't hurt me," I finally managed. "It was something…I did. I can't believe I--" My words were cut off again by the tears that rose in my throat.
Edward looked slightly calmer now, and he let his hands drop from my sides.
"What happened, Bella? You have to tell me everything."
I took a shaky breath before I began, silently praying that I what I was about to say wouldn't ruin my life by taking him out of it.
"I went to see Jacob. I was worried about what Billy said, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. He was so different when I got there; he was like a stranger. I just wanted him to forgive me, so we could be friends like we were before. We started arguing, and…before I knew what was happening, I kissed him."
I cautiously turned a fraction of an inch towards him, and the pain on his face cut off my breathing. Suddenly the panic was back in full force.
"Edward, I'm so sorry! I don't even know why I did it, I wasn't thinking. It was like I wasn't in control of myself. Edward, please forgive me!"
"It's all right, love," he said, taking my face in his hands. "I can't say I didn't expect this to happen. Jacob was an important part of your life when I was gone. It's understandable that you would have feelings for him. I only want you to be happy."
"I love you, Edward," I whispered. "Please, don't go. I couldn't bear it if you left me again. I'll do whatever it takes to make you stay with me."
Edward sighed and cradled my head in the crook of his neck. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of him.
"If it's what you really want, then I'll stay," he said, running his fingers through my hair.
"Yes," I breathed, relief flooding through my entire body. "I've never wanted anything more. And I won't see Jacob anymore, I promise."
Edward didn't answer, just caressed my cheek and rocked me soothingly in his arms.
At the sound of the doorbell, he stiffened. He gently set me at arm's length.
"I think it's for you, Bella," he said gravely. "I'll wait here." He pressed his lips against my forehead before I got up and headed for the door.
My heart stopped when I saw who was behind it.
"Hey, Bells," said a familiar, husky voice. "I think we need to talk."