Settled in their campsite after a day of hard travel, Nyla had insisted they kept moving until nightfall. While it wasn't likely Wardens would pursue, the pressure to hand over the Crow was strong. Knowing her own luck, Nyla would not take any chances on letting them catch up.

"You should sleep." Nyla spoke softly to him as he stared pensively into the fire. Settling close beside him, shoulder to shoulder, she stretched out her legs and idly caressed the top of his bare foot with her toes. With a gentle kiss on his cheek she asked, "Is there something on your mind?"

"Many things," he spoke with a deep and tired sigh. "Your calling, where to begin finding a cure. Also, I am thinking, since we are headed toward Highever-"

"No." Nyla spoke kindly, but firm. "I can't. Not now."

"When? Nyla, I know this is difficult for you, but you should see Fergus, we are passing literally right by him. Leaving Ferelden, we do not know our likelihood of seeing him again. This could very well be the only opportunity we have."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "I haven't spoken to him in almost five years, Zevran, I can't just show up."

"Amor, he knows I have you. It would not surprise him so much."

Nyla leaned away from him in startled surprise. "How does he know? What exactly does he know?"

"He does not know the nature of our togetherness but… he knows I have you."

"How? Zevran, that is a big secret you have kept from me." Fergus, being an immense sore spot for her, Nyla had never intended to see or speak with him again.

"I was not trying to keep a secret, I gave the letter to Wynne right in front of you, you never asked. I told him I found you, that you were safe, that you were unwell. It was the right thing to do, mi amore."

"Was it the right thing to do?" Nyla leaned against him with a sigh, head on his shoulder, inwardly groaning over her fear of Fergus knowing anything about her; there were far too many changes within her, and she did not want him to see them.

"Yes. It was the right thing to do." Zevran kissed her forehead.

"If you say so." She whispered, kissing his shoulder several times.

"Good, then we go to Highever, say a quick hola to Fergus, and then we fuck off into the sunset. Si?"

"No no no… I don't agree with that." She laughed and felt horrified at the same time. "I can't."

"Nyla." He pulled her closer, one arm around her waist, the opposite hand cupping her cheek, guiding her to look at him. "Tell Zevran why not. None of this 'I can't' bullshit."

"Too many memories. I don't want to face it all. I don't want to face Fergus. I don't want him to see what I have become. I don't want to see his disappointment in me... for leaving him alone."

"This is exactly why we should go. Face it. I will face it with you. I have you." He shrugged and smiled as if it were no big deal. "Think of it as you would a sudden excursion into the Deep Roads; exploring for growth, only this time there is no chance of anyone dying."

"Little shit," Nyla whispered with a chuckle, staring at him for a time, his hand on her cheek and an arm around her. She had been brave before, jumped into the unknown with even greater risk than pain; he did have a point. Golden hair laying on his shoulders, tucked behind those ears she adored so much, framing his masculine features with a softness that suited him. His eyes searched her face, she could feel his love; warmth spread throughout her chest. With you by my side, I could face anything.

"We will go." Nyla whispered, and Zevran smirked at her in giddy satisfaction. "Zev, one of these days, I hope to catch you in such a way."

"You mean like during the blight?" Zevran tilted his head at her. "I told you everything, and your ear was more than I believed I deserved. You have caught me, my Warden. Several times."

"Please don't call me that. I'm not a Warden." Chuckling through her nose she whispered, "I just get to die like one."

"It's not going to happen, Nyla. I need you to believe it," he implored her gently. "I don't want to be the only one of us with faith in our cause."

"My love," Nyla crooned moving to sit behind him, wrapping arms around his shoulders and resting her head against the back of his neck. "I do have faith in us."

He laced his fingers with hers and kissed the back of her hand, his lips lingering on her skin in a gesture of affection. "Gracias, mi amore." Zevran sighed, leaning into her, generous bosom pressing against his back as her chin rested on his shoulder. They sat in relaxed silence for several minutes, exchanging affectionate touches, indulging in the lightness of being together without the stress of travel.

"Why is your armor reminiscent of a crow?" Nyla spoke quietly, gently brushing her nose against his cheek. "I keep forgetting to ask."

"The mask is a skull. A statement of my intent. Also, I see the crow as a… totem. Or spirit animal." Zevran shrugged, "They are clever, fearless, curious, and prey on birds much bigger than them."

"Ah. Yes. That does make sense." Holding him tighter against her, she cuddled him, basking in the warmth of their bodies pressed together. "Are you preying on a much bigger bird?"

"When I consider you," he spoke quickly, "I think swan."

"Really?" she rested her cheek on his shoulder, and he turned his head to look at her.

"Definitely swan. They are loud. Always making sounds, territorial… they shit everywhere. Sounds like you, no?"

"Oh definitely," she spoke plainly.

"Nyla." Zevran chuckled, shaking his head with a tired sigh. She nibbled his jaw with a sly giggle. "They represent many of my favorite things. Beauty, elegance, love, change." He held tight to her hands. "Shortly after I met you, I dreamed of swans on the water. A peaceful dream, and when I emerged from my tent, you were there, black hair wet and swept back, in your white under armor. Long elegant neck beneath a head held high and smiling in the morning sun. You smiled at me, beckoned me to join for our morning meal. I felt... something." He smiled, grateful to have her warm body against him. "Swans bond for life, and protect their nests aggressively."

"It does sound like me!" She chortled, feeling sore and soft imagining his love gone unrequited for so long, when he deserved so much more; how ignorant she was to it when it had been so obvious. She kissed the tip of his ear. "You feel tense." Nyla pulled her hands away from his to work firm fingers against his neck and shoulders. "So tense, darling. Today has been hard for you. Learning what you have learned."

"I am sorry, that you are no longer Warden." Eyes closed, he grunted and let his head fall slack as she pressed into a particularly sore spot between his neck and shoulder.

"It hurts, but it's easier because I still have you," Nyla whispered, pressing her lips to his ear again. "I have given enough to the Wardens. Te amo."

"Te amo." Zevran spoke breathlessly, her devotion igniting his desire. Turning his head, he kissed her deeply. "I believe I owe you a reward for speaking such excellent Antivan."

"Not tonight." Standing, she guided him to lay back on the bedroll as he looked up at her with an inquisitive stare. "Let me give to you."

Surrendering to her whims, relaxing beneath her touch, was an acquired skill; one she warmly encouraged as her hands wandered up his shirt and caressed his chest and stomach. "Te amo, Zevran," she whispered, eyes on his, pulling at the laces of his pants to free him. Taking him first in her hand, slow languid strokes as she kissed him all over, worshiping him in a way he wasn't convinced he deserved. Then between her lips; hot mouth, rough tongue dragging along him, making him shudder and reach out to her. To feel her under his palms, touching, caressing her arms, soft hair, smooth cheeks, cradling her face in his hands as her head bobbed slowly with a gratified hum. He could feel her enjoyment in pleasing him, and his head fell back in the throes of this pleasure; how badly he wanted to give back to her.

Always, her dark eyes were waiting to meet his when he looked down at her. The hollowing of her cheeks excited him, and her hand joined her mouth, working in tandem with her clever mouth until he groaned her name. Stomach muscles clenched, he reached down and held her hand, so needy for her as he panted, releasing into her mouth with a strained and breathy groan. She only let him go when he stilled, and she brushed his hands away to gingerly tie his breeches for him; he felt loved.

"Let yourself sleep, darling." She whispered with a smile, caressing his face, the abrasive sensation in the back of her throat making her feel thirsty. "Te amo."

"Te amo, Nyla." He wanted her in his arms, but she was on watch.

Nyla sat near him, and took a long draw from her water skin. Zevran saw the blush of her cheeks, eyes lusty, bosom rising and falling, "let me give to you" she had said, and he gave her exactly what she wanted without question; offering her anything now would likely detract from her loving gesture, and possibly cause her sadness. So sweet, my Nyla. Sated and in love, he watched her through heavy lidded eyes until succumbing to sleep.

Nyla had only wanted to make him rest. His sleep had been broken and restless in recent nights, and his fatigue was beginning to show. With a Warden's stamina Nyla could stay awake for days if she remained fed and uninjured. While Zevran's stamina was nothing to scoff at, his need for rest was greater, and Nyla remained mindful of this.

While there was significant doubt that Wardens would come, it left her paranoid. Crows on his heel, and they had still seen no Crows: paranoid. It seemed the world was out to get them. Listening to the night sounds, senses heightened by the looming fear of those who would seek to harm him, Nyla never wanted to sleep again.

Scowling bitterly at her Warden armor, she equipped herself fully. It was all she had until she could get to an armory; and to think she used to be so proud to wear her Warden-Commander armor. Donning her weapons, she sat next to her love. Patiently she watched, listened with bated breath. A chill fell over their camp, and she piled more blankets on him, making him stir and glance at her before drifting off again. Stoking the fire and adding wood she determined, wherever they went, they had to get out of Ferelden; her love was just too susceptible to the cold.

Periodically she would patrol, wishing she had Zevran's elf eyes so she could see the source of an occasional sound; rustling in the brush, the startling noises of woodland creatures. If Zevran were awake, he would peer into the darkness and tell her, 'A rabbit. Is my Warden feeling hungry again?' He would say that, if she were still a Warden. The ache hit her again and she reminded herself that it was necessary and right to leave. A Warden for so long, it was hard to imagine herself as anything else.

Zevran sat up with a gasp, startled from sleep.

"Estoy justo aquí." I'm right here. Nyla spoke from where she stood, peering into the thick of trees. She strode to him, sitting on the ground beside him. "Bad dream?"

"Ghoul Nyla haunts my sleep." Zevran scrubbed his face with his palms. He blinked at her sleepily with a furrowed brow, "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Seven hours. I was going to wake you in one more. Would you like to sleep longer?"

"I do not want to go back to sleep after that." He furrowed his brow at her, feeling disgruntled and groggy, hazy visions of her beautiful face darkened, with eyes an eerie shade of grey, 'no no please, mi amore, too soon, we need more time!' "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm afraid if I sleep you will be gone when I wake."

"Nyla, where exactly would I go?" Zevran quirked an eyebrow and smiled at her. His Nyla was being so silly, so cute, so annoying first thing in the morning.

"I'm not crazy, Zev." She moved closer to him, pleading for him to understand. "I can't shake this feeling. I can't make this make sense. I feel so fucking powerless."

"Come here." He reached out to her and pulled her into a tight hug, his hand caressing her hair. "Nyla is not crazy. Te amo."

"Te amo." Nyla relaxed in his embrace, the scent of him calmed her, and her eyes grew moist in recalling what a long and lonely night it had been. For months, hidden in the thick of the Planasene Forest, they slept together, woke together, and she wished they could just go back. "No te vayas, por favor." Please don't leave.

"No voy a irme a ninguna parte." I'm not going anywhere. "And you don't get first watch anymore." He kissed her cheeks. "Care to nap while I make us something to eat and pack the horses?" He asked gently before standing for a stretch.

"No, can we eat on the road? I want to keep moving. Stop at Highever, say hola to Fergus and fuck off into the sunset, like we planned."

"Nyla." Zevran urged his mount to a trot to catch up and ride beside her; he had fallen back to see if both feet were still in the stirrups. "Amor?" Lost in her thoughts again. Zevran imagined her fretting over Highever, which they could see in the distance. "Nyla?" He leaned in and spoke sweetly, "Te amo."

"Te amo." She turned her head with a small smile. "Were you saying something?"

"Please place your feet in the stirrups." She complied without argument and resumed her staring at Highever. "A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After fifteen minutes, the man sits up and says, 'I wish we had built a fire!' The woman says, 'So do I, you have been eating grass for the past ten minutes."

"Wait… so the woman could see him eating grass the whole time? She must have been able to see in the dark. Perhaps elven, with beautiful glowing eyes like yours," Nyla giggled. "Why didn't she say something sooner? Or did she enjoy watching someone eat grass? No that wouldn't make sense, she did complain about it."

"It was a joke." Zevran furrowed his brow.

"Was it? I couldn't tell." She pursed her lips and watched him from the corner of her eye. "It sounded like a terrible story with loopholes."

"You are teasing me!" He batted at her with the back of his hand. "Well played, Nyla." She laughed hard at him, and he was pleased.

"I'm not sure I want to do this," she whispered, an apprehensive glance in his direction as they approached the gates of Castle Cousland.

"I have you." Zevran reached out, and she held tight to his hand.

He appeared unperturbed, and she loved him for it, as his strength bolstered hers. Sitting up straight in her saddle she looked forward, the comfort of his gloved hand around hers.

"Te amo, Zevran." She spoke with a serious tone, and he matched her.

"Te amo, Nyla."

"Shit. Fuck. I wish they wouldn't do this." She sighed as a few young men ran from them, shouting.

"The Hero has returned! The Hero is here!"

"Zevran, hide me." Nyla chuckled, sighing deeply. Zevran looked ahead, proud to be by her side.

The familiarity of everything felt eerie; this was not her home. This was the place she had died with her family, to be reborn at Ostagar.

The horsemaster approached and Zevran was there to catch her as she landed on shaky legs; she would really liked to have seen the acrobatic feat he must have performed to dismount and be at her feet by the time the horsemaster took her reins.

"I have you." He spoke with a whisper, shapely lips in a small smile just for her. They walked together, heads held high, onlookers silent and saluting, some bowing their heads.

"The woman who ended the blight." Nyla heard someone whisper, and she felt a pang of sadness for the one who had struck the killing blow.

"It's Fergus, Zev. Look at him." She expected someone tired, grieving, but he walked tall, eyes searching for her. Bearded, regal, it was too much and her heart beat hard, aching with love and remorse. How she had missed him, how sorry she was for letting him go. His eyes found hers, and she smiled.

"I have you, I am here," Zevran spoke softly, and Nyla felt more prepared as Fergus smiled and came toward her at a jog.

The closer he came, the more it ached and she ran, hearing a happy chuckle from Zevran that reminded her again, she was not alone; not alone, and big brother was coming toward her with open arms and tears in his eyes. When he reached out to grab his baby sister she flung her arms around his neck as she used to, and he held her with feet dangling in the air.

Zevran bore witness as Fergus laughed, petting Nyla's braided hair, holding tight to her; it hurt sweetly. He had no concept of what it was to have a sibling, other than one does not seek such a bond. The child next to you could die in a frivolous trial tomorrow, or be the one they demanded you fight to the death; especially if you bonded with them. This, what he was seeing, was siblings, and he could not imagine what having a little sister would feel like. Walking toward them as Fergus placed her on her feet again, the resemblance between them was striking, as they grinned widely at each other. Fergus reached a hand out to Zevran for a firm handshake, pulling him into a grateful hug, patting his back.

Reaching toward Nyla, excited for her, smiling and lovingly brushing her tears away with the back of his index finger, she returned his smile with a bout of giddy laughter, and Fergus caught on quickly. When they looked up at him, he nodded and smiled; simple acceptance, followed by an invitation to enter.

Why Fergus made the interior of Castle Cousland look the exact same as it had before, Nyla would never know. Nor would she be able to comprehend how he could live there without feeling as if wandering through a living nightmare.

Perhaps it was because he wasn't there when it happened. He hadn't seen the warm remains of his own wife and son, he hadn't been the one to leave his parents to die in the larder. Fergus wasn't there for the fleeing, screaming, horrified women, children, men... and no soldiers, not even big brother Fergus to protect them. Scrambling into armor to fight for life and limb through flame and pooled blood, surrounded by the screams of everyone she had known and loved. Dog protecting her with the snap of bone and wails of the dying as Nyla killed for the first time. Killed, and killed, and killed...

"I have you." Zevran took her hand as she looked around her. "Look at me."

Eyes snapped to his, and without thinking, her mouth moved with an almost imperceptible whisper, "I smell blood and fire."

Zevran's heart plummeted with her, and he pulled her close, holding her head protectively against his neck.

"I'm okay." Nyla spoke, pulling away.

"No one needs you to be okay, mi amore." Zevran whispered, though words always seemed empty when she trembled and swore okayness.

Fergus' face fell as the ache of not having protected his little sister grew louder and more poignant. Nyla was walking away, and Fergus could only hang his head in shame and remorse; she should have been Tyrna, safe in their family's castle.

"I'm going to show Zevran around." Nyla turned around and looked at her big brother with a wry smile, "I just need to work some shit out."

"Nyla, before you go… where is your mabari?" Fergus finally had the nerve to ask, imagining he knew the answer but having a need to know the circumstances.

"Dead of blight sickness." Her smile was soft, her forehead wrinkled; it spoke volumes. "I couldn't find a simple flower in time to save him."

"Sorry," Fergus understated with a sore heart, nodding patiently with a returned smile. Little sister bore the look of a war-weary soldier, that was, until she laid eyes on the elf, and she softened. Familiar femininity and grace shone through, and Fergus was able to breathe easier knowing that she had some happiness in her life. Little sister, Hero of Ferelden.