A/N: So, here we are. I couldn't stop myself from typing another chapter. (chuckles)

I HAVE AN IDEA OF THIS STORY'S FUTURE. How about a chapter for 3x20 and 3x21/22 as well? Would you like to read those?

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL! THANK YOU, so much, for you comments, love and support! If it wasn't for you guys I would've never written this chapter. (HUGS)

Awkay. (takes a deep breath) Are you ready to go? I'm not sure I am. But let's go, anyway!

3x19 mood, here we come!

3x19

Telling Jace about the breakup makes it feel so real that holding the stoic mask becomes almost unbearable. Especially with the weight of the omamori charm in Alec's pocket. The message from Catarina refuses to leave his restless mind alone for even a second.

Alec knows that it's a possibly disastrous mistake. But shortly after Jace leaves his office he caves and calls Catarina. She picks up immediately. "I was just about to call you. Alec, what the hell is going on?"

Alec swallows thickly. For a few moments tears blind his eyes, until he blinks them away stubbornly. "Magnus, did he…?" He clears his throat but it doesn't help him sound more like himself. "Did he come there?"

"No, and I still can't get a hold of him." Catarina sounds exhausted, scared, confused and angry. She needs a pause to gather herself before continuing. "Did something happen?"

Alec shudders and braces himself. His eyes sting a second time, and no matter how hard he fights it a lone tear breaks through his emotional barrier. "Magnus and I, we, ah… broke up, yesterday." It's even harder to tell her than it was to tell Jace. This is his ex-boyfriend's best friend and he can't tell her why he had to smash Magnus's heart to pieces. The weight of the secret deal weights mercilessly on his shoulders that have always tried to carry the whole world.

It's impossible to tell which one hurts more. The shocked silence, or the words the come after. "Please, tell me that you didn't…! Not now, when he's already…!" She breathes hard. "I have to go, now." There's new urgency in her tone, downright panic, and it makes the Shadowhunter feel incredibly cold.

Alec's been holding on to his resolve with all his willpower since Magnus pleaded with him to say, even when the pain of his broken heart is so great that he wants to scream. But there, he cracks. Risks giving a hint of his secret, of his true feelings. "Can you… text me, when you find him? Or hear from him?" He sounds too desperate, too agonized – too in love.

But as it turns out he doesn't have to worry about Catarina figuring out something, because she's hung up long before he starts talking.

Catarina's heart pounds while she struggles to calm herself, her mind spinning around a million miles per hour. When she couldn't get a hold of Magnus she was worried. Now she's absolutely terrified. She knows that her friend prefers hiding his pain and licking his wounds in solitude. But this… isn't it.

She's seen Magnus after nasty breakups before. (Far too many times, and she's often wondered with dread how many it might take to break him completely. Now, she realizes with chills, she knows.) But none of them have been like this, not even Camille. Because this time Magnus doesn't have his magic. Or his work to throw himself to, to focus his broken heart on before it's been put together yet again. Magnus doesn't even have a home. Or anyone to go to.

Magnus could've come to her, if it wasn't for Madzie. (No one would've been able to force him to be around a child when he was as emotionally unstable as he had to be at the moment.) To her knowledge Raphael is still imprisoned. Ragnor… isn't with them anymore. And the other warlocks aren't an option after the rift Lorenzo tore between them and Magnus. (There's no way Magnus can seek comfort from those he did his best to protect and who turned their backs on him, willingly or not.) And pretty much all the rest of Magnus's friends consist of such people who are far too close to Alec. Magnus doesn't have anything or anyone left. Or so he thinks.

Catarina's eyes flash.

Well, Magnus still has her. So she starts to arrange an emergency babysitter at a frantic pace. And prays to the Angel she's not sure she believes in that she'll find Magnus before it's too late. Before he finds a bridge or something equally disastrous.

Alec stands in his office, trembling to the core of his being. He stares at his phone. And wonders, for the first time, if he did the right thing, after all.

Too overwhelmed and sick from worry, he cracks and sends a message of his own to Magnus. 'Let me know when you're coming to pick up your things. And you can have the charm back, it was always meant to be yours.' (Just like my heart, he thinks miserably, but isn't allowed to add.) He hates how formal and fundamentally wrong the message sounds. Hates that he can't write 'please tell me you're alright, I love you, all I want is for you to be happy' instead.

An hour passes, and there's no reply.

Alec almost breaks down entirely. But then the hectic world with Jace's undercover mission comes calling, and he forces his whole concentration on it. Even when what's left of his heart screams and begs him to run, to find Magnus. Even when he slips his hand into his pocket, squeezes it tenderly around the charm and doesn't seem able to let go.

Magnus doesn't get those messages from Catarina and Alec. His phone's battery has died. Forgotten to his pocket in the cold hours of the night.

He wants to walk away from the pain – he can't.

He wants to forget – he isn't allowed to.

The pain in his broken heart consumes him whole. Makes it impossible to think. Strikes down his will, fight and defenses. Scrapes him raw.

So when his father approaches him, with sweet words Magnus knows better than to trust… He gives in. Because there's nothing else keeping him hanging on. Because Asmodeus's untrustworthy arms are the only place he has left to go to. Because the only other time he's ever felt this lonely, abandoned and betrayed was after his mother's death. And his father came to him then, too.

His father's love, if it can be called that, is twisted and toxic, but Magnus begins to realize that it's the only kind of love he deserves.

TBC

A/N: Oh, dear gosh…! They're in SO MUCH PAIN, especially Magnus. Can their story have a happy ending?

This chapter was inspired greatly by the fact that it bothered me SO MUCH how no one seemed to put any effort into trying to reach out for Magnus during 3x19. (Well aside Asmodeus…) (At least Alec had his siblings, and a job to do.) I want to believe that someone at least tried to.

SO, how was the chapter? Any good at all? PLEASE, do let me know! Hearing from you ALWAYS makes my day.

NEXT UPDATE comes when I've recovered enough from 3x20 to type it. (chuckles nervously)

Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I'll see you all there.

Take care!

GABY: So sad indeed! Those poor dears. (whimpers) I REALLY hope that you'll be as captivated by the next chapter!

Massive thank yous for the review!