No matter how hard they try not to make it one, it becomes a thing. A thing in bold. A thing in italics. A thing, period.

And Lizzie tries, she really does. Tries to avoid situations which might inevitably lead her to be alone with Hope Mikaelson, and yet, it seems that some higher power out there is hell-bent on her giving in to the intense gravity that brews between the both of them. She has no other word for it. It has to be gravity. The intense urge she feels every time Hope sits next to her, to hold her hand, to slide her fingers in between hers and just stay like that. Brush that one strand of hair behind her ear, and kiss her forehead. To put her arm around hers like Penelope does to Josie whenever they're around.

(They're so gross and sappy and disgusting, and yet, Lizzie wants that. She sees how Penelope's eyes follow Josie around the room, like they're helpless, how she and her sister seek each other out even when sitting far from each other, their hands reaching out, their feet playing footsie under the table.)

She doesn't understand why it has to be Hope Mikaelson, of all people. Why she's always had a thing for the idiot loner who prides herself on being the School Rebel and who walks around telling people she doesn't need anybody. Because Lizzie needs her. She likes her. She likes the way Hope is the only person other than Josie who knows how to deal with her when she's having an episode, when she feels like the entire world is caving in on her, and the only way she can reach out and breathe is to do something. She likes how Hope just gets her, and lets her be herself, but calls her out when she thinks she's doing something wrong. Maybe she's been harboring this tiny crush on the girl since a lot of years, but she's gotten used to it.

And ever since they've started this thing she just doesn't know anymore. It started the day of the Prom, when she'd seen Hope standing at the bottom of the stairs in that blue dress, and nearly tripped and fallen downstairs. And then they'd been in the bathroom, and Hope had been crying, and she had looked so pretty, even with her puffy eyes, and her trembling bottom lip, and Lizzie just couldn't help herself.

(She totally lied. She had kissed Hope first.)

Then they had made out in that closet because it was dark, and Lizzie had somehow, thought, hoped, stupidly that that one time wouldn't count, because it was just a proximity thing. But now, it's been about so many times that she's lost count. All she has to do is see Hope, and suddenly she's thinking about the next time she'll be kissing her. Keeps day-dreaming about her hands in class, about how she felt pressed up against her in the last confined space they crashed into each other in, how she tasted.

Kissing Hope, always feels like rebellion.

Here's the thing. She knows it's not meant to last. There's no way in hell this, whatever they're doing, hidden stares, hidden trysts in secret places is ever going to end well. The first reason is that there's absolutely no chance that Hope likes her. Hope has a thing for sweet, innocent boys with hearts of gold, and she is none of those. She's a mean, selfish, jerk who has never once thought of putting anyone except herself first and no one as pure and simply good as Hope should ever want to be around her. Girls like her are doomed to break hearts all their lives and maybe fall for one unattainable person, whereas girls like Hope get the epic love story and the epic love that they don't believe they deserve. Girls like her don't deserve girls like Hope.

And yet, she knows this will continue happening until someone inevitably gets hurt.

She also knows that it will most probably be her.

The air is heavy, full of tiny murmurs and sighs, and Lizzie cannot breathe but it's in the best possible way, it's because Hope has her mouth on her neck, biting and licking and her hands are sliding up under shirt, and her lungs burn, and so does her skin, where Hope's fingers and running higher and higher and…..

"Oh my God, my eyes!" comes a shriek, and they both jump a feet apart.

"What the," she starts, and sees who it is "Penelope! What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Um, I feel like I should be asking you that," she retorts, then turns an accusing finger towards Hope "And you, you didn't mention any of this when you were busy sighing over….."

"Park!" Hope warns her, and Penelope shuts up, abruptly, looking apologetic and shifty.

(Which, well. Fine, if Hope's too busy sighing over someone then who is she to care? If she's just here doing this to get over that someone then it's none of Lizzie's business)

(Except there's a hot, angry feeling in her chest that begs to differ)

"Just," Lizzie says, all of a sudden "Let's just leave. This is stupid."

"Lizzie," Hope puts her hand on her arm, and turns her until they're facing each other "Are you okay?"

There is genuine concern in her eyes, and Lizzie can't think at the moment, so she just shrugs.

"I cannot believe you're banging Hope!" Josie bursts into their room in the evening and stands in front of her, hands on her hips.

"And I cannot believe your girlfriend is this bad at keeping secrets," she replies, easily, closing the chemistry book she had been reading, and looking up at her twin.

Josie blushes for a moment "In her defense, the last time she tried keeping things from me it nearly destroyed our non-relationship."

Lizzie concedes her point with a tilt of her head.

"But forget that!" Josie suddenly remembers why she'd rushed in, and jumps back into it "What, and how and why are you canoodling with Hope?"

"First of all, there is no canoodling. At all. It was just a thing that started a while back."

"How while back?"

"Prom?" Lizzie tries weakly, and gets hit in the face with a pillow.

"This has been going on that long and you didn't tell me? Lizzie Saltzman! You….hussy."

"What?" she starts laughing, and Josie joins in after a minute. They collapse onto the bed, next to each other, still giggling. And then Lizzie tells her sister how it started, tells her the entire sordid tale. After the entire thing is done, Josie turns to her, and raises herself up on an elbow.

"Lizzie," she starts, but Lizzie cuts her off before she can go on.

"I know what you're going to ask."

Josie just waits, eyebrow raised.

"She doesn't…doesn't like me that way. It's probably just like benefits for her. Plus," she adds, trying to make her voice sound casual "I'm pretty sure she has the hots for someone else."

Josie looks like she want to say something, but she doesn't, after what seems like five minutes of a struggle.

"If you say so," she says finally, and leans down to rest her head against Lizzie's.

"Fuck!"

"Sorry, did I.."

"No, it's fine, just don't stop."

Lizzie doesn't want to stop. She keeps kissing Hope, keeps breathing in her kisses, keeps sucking along the edge of her jaw down to her neck. Hope is breathing so hard it sounds almost harsh in the complete silence of the dark room, but she's never heard anything sound sweeter.

"Hey," Hope suddenly pants out, and Lizzie stops, presses one last kiss to the column of her neck, and looks at her "You okay?"

Hope's eyes say things like I care about you, say that they're worried about whether she is okay, look sweet and concerned and filled with an emotion that Lizzie doesn't have the courage to decipher right now, so she breaks eye contact and leans forward to kiss her once, hard.

"Are you?" she mumbles against Hope's lips.

Hope turns her face so that they're looking at each other again, and her eyes are so soft that Lizzie wants to bury her face into her neck and stay here forever.

"I am."

This is bad. This is bad. This is bad.

Lizzie kisses her again, kisses her deeply, like she wants to drown in her, and decides that if this has to be the last time they're touching, she's going to make the most of it.

Hope finally gets her alone in the locker room, after the rest of the team is gone, and she's just picking up the last of her things.

"You're avoiding me," she tells Lizzie, arms crossed, waiting in front of the door.

Lizzie doesn't try denying it. She takes her time sorting through her clothes, arranging them in the locker, and slowly shutting it, then finally turns.

"I have," she says.

"I thought you'd at least have the decency to tell me that, face-to-face," Hope says, her voice clipped and angry "And fuck us, you know, whatever we were doing. You haven't even talked to me properly since a fucking week. I thought we were friends. We used to talk every day. And now you can't even look at me? Fuck you, Lizzie Saltzman."

"I can't do this," she manages, weakly.

"So we'll stop making out, Liz. Just don't stop being friends with me," Hope begs her, her voice almost desperate, and Lizzie has the sharp, sudden urge to cry.

"Is this because Penelope told you that I have feelings for you?" she continues, and goes on to say other things but Lizzie can't think beyond the I have feelings for you part, can't get over the voice saying it over and over again.

"You…..you what?"

"Oh, fuck," Hope whispers, hand to her forehead, her voice cracking, and Lizzie wants to stumble forward and hold her tight "You didn't know."

"You…..like me?" she asks, and her voice sounds completely incredulous, even to her.

Hope shrugs, her eyes watery, and Lizzie's head is a derailed train of thought right now.

She thinks I did this to you. Thinks I don't want to, damn it, I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with you, that I can't stay away and this week has been the hardest week of my life. Thinks please, please, Hope, walk away, because I can't and I will ruin you. Thinks Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope.

"This is a bad idea," she finds herself saying, in spite of every cell in her body revolting at the words.

"I'm sorry," Hope chokes out "Does this mean we can't be friends anymore, that you can't even look at me now?"

"Hope, please," Lizzie says, and it's a huge effort keeping her voice even "This is hard enough as it is."

(It is. It hurts so bad she wants to curl up into a ball and press a fist to her aching chest)

"Okay," Hope finally says, and her voice is angry again "Okay. I'm sorry I inconvenienced your life so much, Lizzie Saltzman. I won't be doing it again."

She watches Hope turn around, watches her slam the door shut, and walk away, and only after she is out of sight does she fall to her knees and fall apart.