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Emily POV:

"God, why does she have to be such a bitch all the time?" I look up and realized Hanna was upset. In fact she was more than just upset. Her face was flustered and I could tell she was trying hard not to let the tears flow out. I know how Hanna's feeling right now. Hurt, damaged, angry, irritated, furious, just so many emotions you want to shut out, but can't. These emotions are just too powerful to ignore. I've felt like that before, so many times that I've lost count. But I've also lost count on how many occasions Ali has made me smile. How many times she has left me buzzing with happiness and joy. How many times Ali has made us all laugh, like there was no tomorrow. Ali would wash all the worry, tension and awkwardness in just one comment and leave us all giggling like 5 year olds. Everything wouldn't be the same without Alison. Nothing would. It would always feel like something's missing if she weren't here with us. Like right now. Without Ali, it's... I don't know, not complete? Like a heart with a missing piece. A large, missing piece. Like a soul, without a beating heart. Like love that's not returned. That will never be, returned. Like, forbidden love...

"I don't know Hanna," Aria answered, her bewildering eyes looking at us all, as she ran her hands through her dark hair.

"Yeah, well, all we know is that there's no point in asking that, Hanna. Ali's a whore. Everyone knows that. End of story." Spencer said grimacing, her brown orbs burning into Hanna's with sympathy. Hanna looked up and gazed into Spencer's eyes, her eyes showing some kind of emotion that I couldn't put my finger to it. I don't know if it was just my mind doing tricks on me, or did Spencer and Hanna's gaze lasted longer than it should have.

Hanna lets out a low chuckle and looks down at her lap, as Spencer does too. I then become aware of the crimson blush on Hanna's cheeks, letting her hair fall over and burying her face. I look over at Aria and notice that she seemed to not have realised their...moment?

Spencer looks up, locking eyes with me, "I'm astonished you seemed to not have defended her this time, Em." Spencer smirks irreverently.

I shake my head slightly, "What do you mean?" I ask, frowning.

Spencer rolls her eyes a bit, "Well you know, since I called Ali a whore." Spencer's seductive smirk still hadn't wiped off her face.

"You are her Killer, remember? Her Pitbull..." Spencer, Aria and even Hanna started giggling as I joined in rolling my eyes at Spencer's statement.

"Well I guess I just got a little distracted. But, if I was paying a little more attention, then I would've defended her like always, Spence." I chuckled again.

Spencer scrunched up her face in confusion, "Why do you protect her so much, Em? It's not like your compassion is going to change the kind of being she is. It's in her blood!"

While Spence was talking, I was mainly fascinated in the way her thin eyebrows kept raising up whenever she made a point. It was strangely amusing.

I slightly chuckled, "Spence, Ali may not be the nicest being on earth, bu-"

"Wait, may? Em, you're joking right?"

I sighed, irritated and continued what I was saying, ignoring Spence's interruption. "Ali may not be the nicest being on earth, but she'salso one of the nicest being I have met and I know I'm not the only one who believes that. We wouldn't be here, together, happy or upset, if it weren't for Alison. She may be a bitch, I have to admit," I swallowed. I had never cursed about Ali out loud before, so I wasn't surprised the stunned looks I noticed on Hanna's, Aria's and slightly on Spencer's face.

"But we all know there is a completely different side to her that we've seen on many occasions."

I then slightly smile to myself, continuing, "She tries to hide it, tries to show that she's not weak and vulnerable like every other human being. But at times you can just see it right through her," I look up, trying to make a point, "You just got to look closely."

Silence took over the room for a minute or so, till Spencer broke the silence. Not surprised...

"Wow Em, you got it bad!" Spencer chuckles, as so do the other girls.

I frown and slightly pout, as this makes the certain blonde laugh even more. "What do you mean, 'You got it bad?" I say, still pouting.

"Oh come on Em! You're like totally in love with her!" Aria yells, laughing even more as a blush creeps up to my cheeks and neck, making me look crimson red. Great.

"Oh and look, she's blushing!" Hanna joins in, making Spencer join into the laughter as well. I stared at them all, their hilarious faces was just so amusing. Too amusing. In fact, entertaining. If only I could tape this... I chuckle at the thought of it.

"I bet you LOVE it when Ali calls you her Killer!" Spencer winks as she starts smirking.

I smirk, deciding to play along. "You're right Spence, I do love it." I smirk, winking back.

Everyone had finally settled down from their hysterics, especially Aria and Hanna. Boi they can laugh.

"So Em, do you, love Ali?" Aria asked confusedly with slight suspicion on her tone. I rubbed the back of my neck as I broke eye contact. "I mean, it's clearly obvious." Aria continued.

I wasn't ready to talk about this. Not yet. Perhaps never. I know they were my friends, my best friends. Best friends that I can trust anything with, tell them anything and would know they'd still love and accept me. But it felt right to not admit it to somebody else. Saying it out loud would hurt too much. It would feel too real. Too raw. The pain in my chest would be unbearable because, I knew she would never feel the same way. I would never have her heart racing. I would always be her best friend, who would stick up and do anything for her. I knew she knew that. That's why whenever she needed something; she'd always ask me first. It made me feel so special, though. Like she could count on me, trust me and have faith in me. I should feel stupid though, right? Having to do everything for her just to see her smile. That genuine smile that I love. That I crave. But I choose to do anything for her. I could say no and walk away. But I'd never do that. Never to Ali.

I sigh, grabbing my bag as I get up. "Where you going?" Spencer asked looking up with concerned eyes.

I quickly come up with a lame excuse, hoping to get away with it. "I just remembered I promised my mum to help her out with something. But I'll see you guys later. Bye." I say quickly, as I pass them all a quick genuine smile and walk out of the room. As I'm out of the house, I take a couple of deep breaths to steady myself. Why can't things just be easy? Why so complicated and traumatic? Why her? Why Ali? Why not some sweet boy? Or even a cute girl? Why these feelings? Why can I not ignore them? Why can't I just push them away? She's going to be the death of me...

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