No Place Like Home for the Holidays
Chapter Two: Deck the Halls
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the canon characters; they belong to Marvel, Stan Lee (may he rest in peace), and any other respective owners.
Merely two days after the wager has concluded, Peter proclaims to the Avengers and Loki that it is time to start decorating, although he begins in such a manner that confuses the two Asgardians greatly.
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly!" Peter loudly sings, sliding down the staircase railing, barely managing to avoid knocking Pepper down as she climbs up the stairs to look for the teenager.
"Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Bucky choruses back, following Peter in sliding down the staircase, leaping from the bannister and landing squarely on the balls of his feet, a massive smile on his face.
"'Tis the season to be jolly!" Steve joins in, taking the stairs two at a time as he walks down like a normal person, pausing to lift the immensely heavy box from Pepper's hands. "Let me help you with that, ma'am," Captain smiles, sliding the box into his own hands and effortlessly carrying the box down to the base of the stairs.
"Why, thank you, Steve," Pepper grins at the soldier, appreciating Steve's kindness and down-to-earth nature that presides over ever second of his day. "Peter, I was just coming to find you!" she announces, and that catches Spiderman's attention even while the high school boy is planning a future video game tournament with the Winter Soldier. "All of the ornaments arrived this morning, so we're ready to get a tree!"
"Yes, yes, yes!" Peter cheers, pumping his fists in the air as he practically bounces up and down. "Thank you, Miss Pepper! I appreciate it so very much!" he smiles enthusiastically, grabbing his Santa hat and placing it back on his head to help ring in the Christmas spirit once more.
"You're welcome, Peter," Pepper sweetly says to the young man she thinks of as a son, grasping one of his hands in her own and giving it a light squeeze. "On the second day of Christmas, the Avengers gave to me: two hundred ornaments," the manager of Stark Industries beautifully sings, and the smile on Peter's face only grows at the reference to the song he made up a few days prior.
"And permission to put up a tree!" Peter finishes the song, and then he turns his attention to Steve as the super soldier puts the box of ornaments on top of the bookshelf in the common room where Thor is giving Jane a much-needed foot massage while Loki talks animatedly about the conclusion of A Tale of Two Cities to the female scientist. "Captain, can we go and buy a tree from the Christmas tree farm?" the youngest Avenger inquires with a cheery tone of voice, his face lighting up with joy.
"They have a farm for your Christmas trees?" Thor questions in confusion, pressing a kiss to Jane's temple before continuing. "I was unaware that trees required care in order to flourish in this land," the God of Thunder mumbles, uncertainty written on his face, causing Jane to turn around and look her husband in the eyes.
"Thor, what exactly do you think needs to be taken care of on a farm?" Jane asks him, leaning against his broad, muscular chest, laughter in her voice as she awaits one of Thor's famous explanations.
"Why, animals, Jane! Cows, pigs, chickens, horses, possibly a dog or two, and Captain America told me that some farms raise reindeer if they are far enough North to need an animal to withstand the cold," the blonde Asgardian reveals, a serious expression on his face as he wonders why Jane would think anything else would need to be cared for on a farm.
Surely the animals were the only living creatures on a far that required care, right?
"You truly are an idiot, brother," Loki deadpans, setting his newest book on the coffee table and fixing his brother with the most annoyed stares he can manage. "How do you think crops are grown? All the corn and potato products you eat on Midgard have to come from somewhere, and someone has to take care of them!" the God of Mischief explains, annoyance dripping from his voice as Thor simply shrugs.
"Plants can grow on their own without human interference! Trees on Asgard grew to a great height without anyone having to feed it or…"
"That is because no one on Asgard was going to eat the trees! For the son of Odin, you are really not the brightest sometimes, brother."
"Could we not, by any means, travel to the forest and procure a tree of Christmas, young Master Parker?" Thor inquires, clothed in a red flannel shirt and a pair of black jeans, looking for all the world like a true Midgardian. "Or are the trees at this so-called tree farm special in any way?" the God of Thunder inquires, thoroughly confused as to why Peter would want to go and purchase a tree when they could surely get one from the woods much more easily.
"They never had those when I was a kid," Steve brings up a valid point, and Bucky can't help but shake his head in agreement. "Bucky and I would go and get a tree from the forest with his dad every year, and then we'd decorate it ourselves," the war hero reminisces, a soft shine coming into his eyes as he reflects on Christmases spent at the Barnes household.
"I think we should just take the kid to cut down a Christmas tree," Bucky remarks, already moving towards the elevator to go down and get a saw from Tony's lab. "It'll be a good experience for him and be for old times' sake, Steve," the Winter Soldier finishes his thought before descending nearly fifty floors down to Tony's lab.
"And I know just the spot to get one!" Clint cheers, wrapping a blue and red scarf around his neck before grabbing a pair of black gloves from the coffee table. "Thor, Loki, do you want to come, too?" Hawkeye inquires, knowing the two Asgardian brothers absolutely love learning new traditions while on Earth.
"I shall love to join you on this most festive and important excursion!" Thor announces in a booming voice, a genuine smile on his face.
"Don't forget a coat, Thor!" Jane calls to her husband and true love as he leaps up from the couch, scrambling towards the elevator to ride to the ground floor with Clint, Steve, and Peter while Bucky finishes getting the saw from downstairs.
Loki, without any affirmation or denial stands up from the couch and makes his way over to the departing group.
The God of Mischief is then stopped by a rather large hand pushing against his chest. Loki looks up to see none other than Bruce Banner standing in front of him with a rather displeased and threatening look on his face.
"If you try and ruin this holiday and tradition for them, Loki, then I swear to you that I will not hesitate to let the other guy come out and beat you into the floor as I did when you first arrived in New York with the Tesseract," Bruce comments, his vein bulging in his neck, proof of his annoyance and bubbling anger for the mischievous Asgardian prince.
"Duly noted," Loki swallows thickly, the lump in his throat rising as he desperately wishes to leave and follow his brother outside of Avengers Tower before Bruce loses control and lets the Hulk escape once more.
"Do I make myself clear, puny God of Mischief?"
"Crystal."
Wasting no time, Loki uses his magic to teleport himself downstairs, arriving at the same time as Bucky does with the giant saw in hand.
"Did everybody remember to bundle up?" Steve questions, ever like the Dad of the Avengers, oblivious to the fact that such a domestic question seems out of place to Loki who just had his life threatened by the Incredible Hulk.
The drive to Clint's secret location to cut down a tree takes nearly three hours, and Peter is, frankly, starting to get a little bit bored. This had been his idea to start decorating incredibly early so as to have plenty of time to engage in the Christmas spirit, but driving for hours on end had not been something that had been on Peter Parker's list of "Fun Christmas Activities to do with the Avengers".
"Couldn't we have just pulled a Will Ferrell and gotten the tree from a park?" Peter practically whines, throwing his head backwards against the headrest, staring out the window in hopes that will distract him.
Steve looks at the young man in utter confusion before chancing to make a comment.
"I didn't understand that reference," Steve reveals, and Peter definitely knows what movie they have to watch before Christmas Eve this year.
"Neither did I," Bucky admits, matched with twin nods from Thor and Loki who are also lost on the subject.
"It's a Christmas movie, guys," Clint responds to the two World War veterans and the members of the Asgardian royal family, making sure to keep his eyes on the road as he switches lanes to prepare and take the next exit. "Will Ferrell was in a movie called Elf, and he took his half brother to cut down a tree in Central Park for the Christmas tree while their father was at work," he explains, and all four of the confused people in the backseat let out a collective 'Ah' of understanding.
"Sounds like a crime waiting to happen," Steve comments, and Clint can't help but snort from the driver's seat.
"That is why we can't get a tree from Central Park, kid," Clint directs to Peter, moving the car onto the exit ramp and preparing himself for the frigid temperature that is sure to soon welcome them upon getting out of the SUV. "It'd be a felony, Peter, and Cap would never let us get away with it, anyway," Hawkeye jokes good-naturedly, pulling his SUV to a stop and then shutting off the ignition. "All right, everybody. We're here!"
"When did you become so mature, Barton?" Bucky inquires, climbing over the backseat before Peter has time to raise the middle row to release the Winter Soldier from the back row of seats where he and Steve had been sitting, which left Peter, Thor, and Loki in the middle row, with Peter sandwiched in the middle, naturally.
"Three kids ago, Barnes," Clint proudly smiles, thinking of Cooper, Lilah, and Nathaniel coming to Avengers Tower with Laura closer to Christmas once the two older kids' school semester ends.
"Let us commence with the journey to find the perfect tree of Christmas for young Peter Parker!" Thor cheers, pumping his right fist in the air before following after Clint and Bucky.
Loki rolls his eyes, knowing that this is going to be a long 'family' trip, and not quite sure why he had let Hawkeye talk him into coming, especially with Banner's threat still lingering in the God of Mischief's mind.
As the trudge for the perfect tree continues, most of the Avengers begin to voice their complaints, making Loki roll his eyes while Steve Rogers once more steps into his role as the team's Dad.
"My nose is freezing!" Peter sniffs, feeling the tip of his nose starting to numb in the absolutely frigid New York temperatures.
"I told you to bring a scarf," Steve deadpans, taking off his own scarf and handing it over to the teenager, which Peter graciously accepts and then wraps it around his face.
"My fingers are going numb," Bucky mumbles under his breath as he trudges along beside Clint, but Steve still manages to hear his best friend and brother in arm's comment.
"And I told you to bring gloves, Bucky," the Super Soldier reminds, shuffling through the snow with a smile gracing his lips as he thinks of how warm he personally is due to all the layers of red, white, and blue clothes currently on his body.
"What good would one glove have done me, Steve?" Bucky demands, clenching his one fist of flesh to try and get feeling back into his digits. "I could've only worn one glove since there is no glove in the world that would fit this metal arm. It's bad enough people stare at me for only having one arm, but having just one glove would be license for anyone to mock me!" the Winter Soldier defends his own actions, starting to ignore the tingling sensation in his right hand.
"It is a fashion crime, Captain!" Peter grins, leaping through the snow like one would imagine an excited dog to do upon seeing its first snow.
Steve can't help but chuckle watching the young man get so excited about Christmas, and Captain America smiles widely as Clint throws a snowball at the back of Peter's neck, making the boy spin around so fast to get retaliation on Hawkeye.
"This is what Christmas is all about," Steve quietly muses aloud, watching as Thor joins in, racing Peter to the nearby thicket of evergreen trees where they can prepare to cut down the perfect Christmas tree.
"I don't understand how they are all so cold," Loki says in a snarky tone of voice, his bare hands exposed to the freezing temperatures. "It's just a little snow and cold weather," the second Prince of Asgard remarks, his Frost Giant blood helping to keep his body at an above average winter temperature.
"We found the perfect tree!" Peter's excited call drowns out any further comments from the God of Mischief, something Steve Rogers is insanely grateful for.
There's no telling where that conversation could have ended up, and Captain America did not want to find out.
Back at Avengers Tower, Bruce Banner puts the finishing touches on his famous hot chocolate before he picks up four mugs and carries them into the common room, a can of whipped cream underneath one arm.
"Here you go, Jane and Pepper," Bruce sweetly smiles, setting two mugs down in front of the two women, adding whipped cream to Jane's but leaving it out of Pepper's cup of hot chocolate, knowing the manager of Stark Industries is not a huge fan of the white topping. "Made special for the two of you to enjoy with your books," the scientist continues, scanning the titles of the books and seeing that Jane is reading Murder on the Orient Express whereas Pepper has elected to read The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.
"Thank you, Bruce," Pepper grins back, setting her book down before raising the glass of hot chocolate to her lips. "You make the best hot chocolate out of anyone in the tower," she states, and Bruce can't help but blush slightly.
"This is amazing, Dr. Banner!" Jane compliments, a dot of whipped cream finding its way to the corner of her mouth as she sips the rich and warming liquid. "Thank you for making it for me," the female scientist graciously says, feeling her body already becoming warming after only one major sip of hot chocolate.
"Well, I know you could use comfort more now than ever, Jane. What did your doctor say when you went for your appointment?" Banner inquires, moving over to sit on the couch with Natasha, handing his girlfriend her mug of hot chocolate in the process.
"The twins are doing just fine. They're both developing nicely, and the doctor says they're both big and strong as they should be at this stage of my pregnancy," Jane grins widely, placing one hand on her rounding stomach as she feels one of the twins kick from inside of her. "Of course, I think that they also get that strength from their Daddy since Thor is the God of Thunder, after all," she suggests her own hypothesis, and Bruce nods in understanding.
"Are you ever going to tell me what the sexes of the twins are?" Pepper questions with one eyebrow raised in skepticism. "It's kind of hard planning a baby shower when I don't even know whether to go with a pink or blue design," the red-headed fiancée of Tony Stark laughs, and Natasha can't help but add her own two cents in.
"Pepper, it won't help! Clint told me for months that he and Laura were having a little girl, and then it was Laura who finally told me that their third baby was going to be a baby boy named Nathaniel instead of the girl Clint promised me!" Natasha reminds, and both Pepper and Jane laugh at the Black Widow's ability to hold a grudge against her best friend and partner.
Bruce takes the can of whipped cream and squirts a bit on Natasha's nose, laughing quietly to himself as she tries to brush it off with a napkin. He then proceeds to wrap one arm behind Natasha's back, pulling the red-headed agent against his chest, using the other arm to wrap around his girlfriend's middle. Natasha leans into Bruce's embrace, beyond happy that she can have this sort of domestic bliss with a man in a way she had never thought possible prior to dating the Incredible Hulk.
"Jane, Pepper, I know you two are reading, but while the rest of the guys are out, do you want to watch Frosty the Snowman?" Bruce questions, and the smiles he receives from Jane, Pepper, and Natasha are the only permission he needs to switch the TV onto the DVD player and begin the Christmas cartoon.
"Tony! We're watching Frosty!" Pepper calls into the kitchen, smelling the unmistakable scent of Tony making his favorite peppermint coffee that he drinks during the Christmas season.
"You better not start it without me, Banner!" Tony shouts back, putting the finishing touches on his cup of coffee before practically running into the common room, his feet clad in reindeer socks as he leaps onto the couch beside his beloved Pepper. "Hands down the best animated holiday classic in my mind."
"I think How the Grinch Stole Christmas deserves that title, Stark," Natasha argues, and it takes a large shushing from Pepper and Bruce to get their respective significant others to become quiet once again.
A few hours later, the guys all pile into the Avengers Tower, struggling to carry the tree into the tower without damaging the ceiling or any body parts of the people carrying the tree. Somehow, Loki had gotten away from the whole 'carrying the tree inside' mission, and so Thor, Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Peter worked their hardest to bring the tree indoors without knocking off too many excess pine needles in the process. Then came the problem with the elevator.
"Is this tree even going to fit in the elevator?" Steve inquires, looking at the hulking tree in comparison to the size of the elevator and determining that they very well could have messed up majorly.
"Hey, it was your idea and Peter's to get such a big tree," Bucky groans while trying to heave the behemoth tree into the elevator.
"I may have to Clark Griswold the tree just to get it upstairs," Clint muses aloud, and Peter's face quickly pales and becomes one of absolute shock.
"No! We can't do that!" Peter yells out in sheer horror, looking Clint directly in his eyes. "We've already cut the poor tree down; we don't need to inflict any more damage on it."
Meanwhile, Thor manages to stuff the tree completely into the elevator, and then he hits the 'up' button on the control panel to the elevator, sending the Christmas tree up to the floor with the common room on it.
"I do not know why you all thought that was an excruciating endeavor. The tree is safely on its way up to the others," Thor reveals, rubbing his massive hands together for warmth and to clear off the pine needles that had coated his hands in his battle with the tree.
"Uh, Thor? How exactly are we going to get the tree out of the elevator if no one can fit inside with it?" Steve, ever the pragmatic one, asks in a worried tone of voice.
"I must admit, dear Captain, I did not plan that far in my endeavor," the God of Thunder admits, a sheepish smile on his face.
Bucky and Clint cannot resist the urge to facepalm.
When the elevator dings in the common room at the end of the third Christmas special the rest of the Avengers were watching, all of them expect for the guys to loudly exit the elevator speaking about how lovely the tree is. What they hadn't expected was that the tree would be in the elevator by itself, protruding from all sides and looking impossibly large and looming in the regular-sized elevator.
"This has Thor written all over it," Jane comments, knowing that such an action suits her blonde-headed husband more than he may like to admit about his tendency to only see one step ahead of his plans.
"Pepper, can you be a darling and retrieve my suit from the lab? This is going to require some heavy lifting," Tony remarks, a scowl on his face as he wonders how on Earth he and Bruce are going to be able to pull this gargantuan tree out of the only elevator of Avengers Tower. "Bruce, a little help?" he asks, and Bruce Banner gets to his feet faster than Tony can blink, prepared to help his fellow genius get the tree from the elevator.
"We might have to call on the other guy if the suit plus my human strength aren't enough," Bruce admits, shuddering at the idea of bringing the Incredible Hulk out around Christmas, but knowing it might need to be a very real possibility if he and Tony can't use their brains to figure out this challenging conundrum.
"Banner, you're forgetting something huge. We have Mister Capsicle Super Soldier, Bucky Barnes, Agent Strong Man Barton, the God of Thunder himself, AND the God of Mischief as extra muscle if we can't do this ourselves! Only, the have the distinct pleasure of having to climb nearly ten flights of stairs to help us if we fail," Tony laughs, and Bruce can't help but smirk.
"On three, Tony. One, two, three, pull!" Bruce shouts out, putting all of his strength into trying to wedge the tree out of its current prison.
By the time Clint, Thor, Steve, Bucky, and Peter arrive upstairs, the situation has escalated incredibly. Tony has the Iron Man suit on and is powered up to full throttle, pulling backwards with all the might possible while Bruce looks like he is on the very verge of becoming the Hulk. Natasha and Pepper are at opposite sides of the tree, trying to wiggle into the elevator while pulling on the tree, but to no avail. Suddenly, a golden light blinds nearly everyone in the tower, and when the light fades away, the tree is standing upright to the immediate left of the fireplace, looking no less worse for wear than it did when the men first cut it down in the forest.
"Surprise!" Loki says in a sing-song voice, appearing beside Jane and looking for all the world like a kid who tried to do something to get his parents to notice him.
"You couldn't have done that earlier?" Tony groans out, collapsing onto the floor in his Iron Man suit, opening to helmet to allow himself to breathe more clearly.
"It was much more fun for me to watch you all suffering for nearly an hour," Loki grins widely, sitting on the couch next to Jane, offering her a box of chocolates he had found in the kitchen.
"The threat still stands, Loki," Bruce whispers under his breath, but the God of Mischief's sensitive hearing picks up every word.
With that, Peter, Pepper, Clint, and Steve walk into the adjourning room to retrieve the massive boxes of Christmas decorations that Tony ordered upon Peter Parker's request.
Decorating the tree goes better than anyone would have thought. Even with all of those sets of hands on the tree at once, no one bumps into one another, and no ornaments are broken in the process. Steve is tasked with wrapping the garland around the tree after Tony is finished detangling and assembling the string of Christmas lights in a pattern that would minimize the pain that could be caused by looking at the multi-colored bulbs for an extended period of time.
"Ya know, we could've gotten a synthetic Christmas tree that came with lights where I wouldn't have to spend so much unnecessary time untangling and re-wiring these old lights," Tony groans out, nearly wanting to smash the lights against the floor as he comes across the twentieth knot he has encountered in only the first two strings of lights.
"Where's the fun in that, Stark?" Clint questions with a smirk on his lips as he places the Eeyore ornament on the Christmas tree. "It's not Christmas till somebody's covered in lights!"
"Then perhaps Christmas doesn't need to come this year," Tony mumbles, finally managing to work out the kinks in the rather infuriating strand of lights.
"Tony, remember why we celebrate Christmas," Pepper whispers, pressing a kiss to her fiancé's cheek, taking the completed strand of lights from him where they don't get tangled up once more. "And, remember, we're doing all of this for Peter," she says in a soft tone of voice, and a smile crosses Tony's lips as he watches Peter bounce animatedly around the tree to try and find the perfect spot for his favorite Star Wars ornament.
"That's a good enough reason for me," Tony grins, capturing Pepper's lips in his own as he breathes in the scent of hot chocolate that envelopes his one true love.
"Young Master Parker, where shall I place King Mufasa on the tree?" Thor asks in the cutest tone of voice imaginable, and Jane can't help but sigh lovingly as she watches her husband interact with the teenager much like a father would.
"Your Daddy is one of the best people I've ever met. He's going to be a great father to you two," Jane whispers to her unborn twins, rubbing one hand across her stomach before placing the Scooby Doo ornament across the way from Snoopy on the tree. "I have no doubts about it."
Bucky gets absolutely excited to hang the ninja ornaments Peter had found on the tree, making sure that the weapons were placed conveniently to make a battle scene between some of the character ornaments, such as between the ornaments of the Power Rangers and the Disney villains. Loki mostly sticks to the sidelines, hanging up the solid color Christmas balls that come in red, green, silver, or gold, and he must be doing a good job, because no one tells him otherwise. Even the God of Mischief has to admit that this is a rather relaxing tradition, especially with Bing Crosby's Christmas CD playing on the stereo while the Avengers decorate the tree to perfection.
"Peter, I think you should do the honors," Clint speaks up, producing the star from the box of ornaments and bringing it over to the young man. "The youngest member of my family always gets to put the star on the top of the tree. Would you like to carry on that Barton tradition since my kids aren't here yet?" Hawkeye questions with a genuine love shining on his face for the youngest Avenger.
"Of course! I'd be honored to put the star on the tree!" Peter beams, so much excitement contained on his face in one expression. "But, there's no way I'm tall enough to reach the top of the tree," he trails off sadly, disappointment shining in his eyes.
"Then allow me to help you," Thor grins, gently scooping the Midgardian high schooler into his arms and then placing Peter Parker to where the teen is now standing on the God of Thunder's shoulders. "Does that help you, Peter Parker?" he inquires, and Peter cannot help but laugh.
"Thank you, Thor! That's perfect!" Peter happily shouts, settling the star on the top branch, making sure it is absolutely straight before allowing Thor to lower him back down to the ground.
"Well, what do ya know? It actually does look pretty nice," Natasha quirks her lips in a smile, not at all expecting that a Christmas tree with mismatched ornaments from different movies and different generations could fit together so seamlessly.
"I think this is going to be the best Christmas ever spent in this tower, Tony," Pepper sighs happily, lacing her hands with her fiancé's, looking as if she doesn't have a care in the world.
"I couldn't agree more, honey," Tony whispers, starting to hum I'll Be Home for Christmas quietly so as not to disturb the scene of familial love in front of him as Peter begins to set up a board game for himself, Bruce, Natasha, Jane, Thor, and Loki to play while Steve and Bucky play Mario Kart with Clint on the Wii.
For once in the lives of the Avengers, everything was going right, and Anthony Edward Stark would do everything in his power to assure that this Christmas would not be ruined for the people he cares about the most.
Author's Note: And there's Chapter Two! I have no idea why I didn't write the Author's Note for this chapter earlier, but I'm inspired now to write Chapter Three, and I really want to try and finish as many of the twelve chapters as possible for my amazing Secret Santa Rival Argentica! I hope you all enjoyed; as always, reviews are greatly appreciated! This has been my favorite of the two chapters so far, as I'm sure you can tell by the word count. Almost 2,000 more words! Anyway, thanks for reading, and have an amazing day, afternoon, or night. I'm off to start Chapter Three!