Chapter 2: Home

The next morning I am woken up by a knock on my door. I grunted which must have enough clearance to come in. It was Holly and she was looking magnificent in a dark green dress. I stayed in bed though because I was trying to avoid my responsibilities already.

"It's time to get up, Johanna." Holly says as she is looking at her dress in my mirror.

"Where are my prep team and my idiot stylist at?" I ask as I sit up. I forgot I was in my underclothes, but then remembered I didn't really care if Holly saw me like this.

"They have refused to work with you. But I couldn't have you going out in front of Panem in your underwear." Holly jokes.

"Well I can get dressed myself. Thanks for the wakeup call though." I say as I walk past her and close my bathroom door on her. I can hear her sigh as she moves about my room to set up my outfit.

I get ready and meet Holly outside of my room in no time. Before I can even grasp what is happening they are setting me up so that I can go on stage. I have no problem with being on stage even though I pretended to throughout the games. So I take a big breath and start my ascent towards the front and center. Caesar Flickerman is waving for me to join him in the two open chairs. I, of course, am in no mood to be polite, but I have never really had a problem with Caesar.

"Johanna Mason. I think it is safe to say I am not the only one that bet you would not be here today." Caesar says. You asshole, you basically just said you bet against my life.

"Well Caesar, I guess it is the right opportunity for me to say, don't judge a book by its cover." I say right back to him. The crowd seemed to have liked that.

"I guess you are completely right. Tell me, what was going through your head throughout your time here at the Capitol. We could barely get a word out of you without you crying." He went on to show a short clip of my very embarrassing interview. I was obviously faking.

"I was thinking that the joke was on you…" I said in a snarky tone because I was done with this interview already. At that moment, Holly caught my attention because she had put her hands to her temples as if I were already disappointing her.

"That it was Johanna. Let's go on to talk about your time in the games. It's always the most exciting part for me and I am sure most of the crowd agrees." He had reflected my comment and brought the crowd back into the interview. I guess you can give him credit for at least wanting to make me look good.

After a long and drawn out video where they forced me to watch myself kill the people that I already see in my nightmares, the interview was finally over. I was loaded onto the train back to 7. Holly has refused to even look at me after my performance. I cannot say that I am that upset though. She has been nothing but a nosy pain since I got reaped. I had made it clear that I never wanted to talk to her again after she won her games, but my games had changed everything.

A few hours of silence on the train and I was very anxious and ready to get home. Was I really being selfish by wanting to keep my body to myself? My family and Jana were the only people on my mind. I was so anxious that it was even hard to eat which is saying something because that Capitol food was so delicious.

I have never been very good at the whole love thing, but Jana has been the closest thing to it. She is kind and just about everything that I am not. Lucky for her she made it through all six years without being reaped and that is mostly because she was a merchant girl. She helps her parents with the clothing shop in our district. As the train moves past more and more landscape, I think of her long brown hair flowing in the brisk fall wind, and her brown eyes looking dark and mysteriously into my own. All of this leaves butterflies in my stomach, and I cannot wait to see her.

The train pulls into the station and I find myself running to get off. After all, there should be a little crowd cheering for me in the square. Another victor which means another year of full stomachs. However, no one is there to cheer for me. The butterflies turn to a sinking feeling. Why is no one there? I look over at Holly and the realization hits.

Running towards my house I am sending prayers that they are safe. However, the only thing that stands where my house was is a heap of ash. I can still feel the heat which means it was very recent. There must be an explanation. It is not uncommon for houses to burn down here, but where is my family? I need to find Jana and hear the story and get answers. I reach her house with relief seeing that it is still standing. I pound on the door having no idea why she isn't answering. The fact that she wasn't there to welcome me is upsetting. My house has burnt to the ground, and I have no idea where anyone is.

"Jana, where are you?" I am nearly in hysterics when I hear a slight movement from the inside. I waste no time using my foot to break the door down. It crashes open and she is standing there with fear in her eyes. Why on earth is she afraid of me?

"Why weren't you there to welcome me back? What happened to my parent's house? Where are they?" I rushed the questions at her and it seems to scare her more.

"I can't see you anymore Johanna and I don't want to. You are a danger to everyone around you. Your family was burnt with your house yesterday. The peacekeepers came to talk to me. They told me that you turned down a job in the Capitol risking my life and your families." She answers backing away from me.

"Jana, if you would just let me explain." I was nearing tears and I very much hate crying.

"I do not need you to explain. I saw the games. I am very much repulsed by you and wish to never see you again. Stay away from me." She says as she pushes me out of the doorway and picks up the door to slam in my face.

I am running again but this time to the Victor Village. I know which house is hers and I know that she will be in there. She is the only other person who remotely cares about me. Jana just broke my heart, and my family is gone. I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't bother knocking and just walk in. She is in her living room with another bottle of whiskey which she seemed to have stolen quite a few from the Capitol train.

"Figured it all out, darling? Did he kill your family and convince your loved one that they would either die or never speak to you again?" She hands me the bottle and I gladly take it.

I decide not to reply and instead begin to drink my sorrows away. When the bottle is empty, Holly grabs another and begins to drink some before handing it to me. I take a few more swigs and realize that she may have something going for her with the alcohol. The pain seems to be considerably less.

"This stuff is pretty good." I say after taking another swig.

Holly gives a little chuckle before replying, "Only the best for the Victors. The Capitol is not stupid. It is better to have slowed down, depressed champions rather than hot heads like yourself."

"I am not a hot head!" I yell defensively which only makes her laugh more.

"Whatever you say, Johanna," She says as she takes another drink and hands it back to me.

After half of that bottle is finished, I am beginning to feel not entirely well. I am about to relay this to her when I vomit all over her floor.

She looks at me and sighs before saying, "I think you've had enough. Come on, I will put you in one of my beds. Your house won't be ready for another day." She picks me up like I am a doll. Her strength amazes me before I puke again on her shirt this time. I can't tell what her expression is, but I don't really care. I am crying now. Crying for my family, crying for the loss of my love, crying because I will never be the same. The Hunger Games have taken everything from me, and now I am drowning in my own vomit and pity.

Holly takes off my shirt and pants because they are dirty. Setting me lightly on the bed, she takes her shirt off before setting a waste basket next to me. I am pretty sure I am done throwing up but she puts it there as precaution. The tears have stopped and Holly has tucked me into bed. I obviously am very tipsy by now and her lack of clothing has really caught my eye. "You are beautiful but kind of full of yourself. I don't like the person you have become." I slur out to her.

"You haven't bothered to get to know the person I have become. But you're a victor now. You will know soon enough what it is like. Good night, Johanna. Make sure you sleep on your side. And try to throw up in the basket." She replies with a little smirk.

I nod though it sends me spinning again, and as I am close to blacking out, I think I register just one more thing. Its Holly's lips just brushing mine.