Katie opened the champagne with a loud pop and and laugh. She poured two glasses and handed me mine with a smile. "So Rita what should we toast to?"
"No way I'm horrible at that stuff. This is your idea, you come up with something." I give a small chuckle. If forced to come up with a toast right now it would be something so incredibly cheesy, and probably sound more like a sonnet then a toast.
I'm not exactly sure what was going on with me right now. I feel like all the walls that I had built up so that I could act normal around Katie were close to crumbling down.
"Hummm.." she bit her bottom lip (just kill me now) "I know let's keep it simple, to us. To beautiful days and beautiful friends. Cheers."
"Cheers." I said quietly as we clinked our glasses. She held my eyes as we took the first sip.
"Yummy, thats good." Katie grabbed the bottle and headed out to the balcony. She stood looking out at the ocean, resting her arms on the railing.
I was stuck to this spot, unable to tear my eyes off her. She's so fucking beautiful, looking at her right now had my stomach in knots. I feel inadequate. I feel awkward. I feel like everything that I'm feeling right now is being broadcast on my face for everyone to see. Katie turned her head to look at me, "it's beautiful out here tonight, Rita. Join me?"
I quickly finished my glass and took a deep breath to steady myself before joining her outside. Katie took my glass from me refilling it it along with her own. I went and stood facing Katie leaning back with my arms on the railing. She handed me back my drink and we stood in a in a peaceful silence for a few minutes.
"So, I hope you don't think I'm being an ass for busting in on you tonight." Katie said.
"Naw, I wasn't doing anything anyway. Drinking champagne with you is way better than sitting out here zoning out by myself. " I answered. Katie looked at me and gave me a quick smile before looking out back towards the ocean.
"I'm so excited to start filming season two next week. But I'm way more nervous then last year."
"Really?" I asked "Why would you be more nervous this year? This time you already know everyone and you know what to expect."
'I know, but it'll like last year there were no expectations, nobody had heard of the show, and now we have these fans, and people expect it to be good. It's a little scary, you know. Plus I think half of the Karmy Army hates me after last year."
I gave a little laugh " They don't hate you, Katie, they are just a little mad a Karma right now. I think it would be impossible for anyone to hate you. You're very likeable, it's your gift."
"Yea?" She asked huskily.
"Yea." I said quietly looking into her eyes. My eyes were tethered to hers, I felt it impossible to look away. I swear I felt the world slow down, everything became fuzzy, everything but Katie. She was crystal clear, and for a second I saw just a wisp of something in eyes. I wanted so much in that moment, to take her hand, to kiss her, to hold her, but I knew I couldn't so I just offered a soft smile.
"Rita…." She said softly before slightly smiling and shaking her head, "you're sweet." and just like that the moment was gone. In a normal voice she asked "more champagne?"
"Sure why not." I was back to feeling awkward again, wondering if we just shared a moment, or if it was all in my head. Because it felt like a moment, but it was probably just wishful thinking.
Katie poured us each another glass of champagne, and it was as if that moment had never happened. We talked some more about the upcoming season, and we laughed about things that had happened last year around the set.
"Remember when Michael hid in your trailer? You were in there for like ten minutes before he jumped out at you." Katie asked with a giggle.
"Oh my God, he scared the shit out of me." I laughed
"I saw you running out of your trailer after him, I thought you were gonna kill him."
"I should have. I swear I almost had a heart attack. I'm afraid to find out what pranks he's gonna try to pull this year."
"I'm sure he'll come up with good ones." She says. We're both quiet for a moment.. Out of nowhere Katie laughs "God Rita, I shouldn't drink champagne."
"What? Why, it's so good"
"I know but it makes me think like philosophical thoughts or some shit."
"Like what?" I ask.
Katie stares out at the water, "I don't know, just like about life. About how lucky I am, about all that I have, things I want, things I can't have, things I shouldn't …." She shakes her head, "you ever feel like there's something coming, like you can feel it in the air?"
"What do you mean?"
She turns to me, and looks very intense and starts speaking very quickly "It's like a snowball, or something, a huge snowball, and you can feel it coming, feel the vibrations of it before you see it. And you don't know if you should run, or stand there. And you don't know what's in the snowball, it could be good, or bad, or it could hurt. And maybe you should get out of the way, but you can't, or you don't want to. I don't know…God, Rita I sound crazy right now. "
I turn so that we're facing each other. "No you don't Katie, I get it."
"Do you?" She asks quietly.
"Yea, I do." And I want to say more, but the way she's looking at me has rendered me speechless. It's like she's searching for something written on my face. We're standings so close together now and I swear I my heart feels like it's going to beat it's way right out of my chest. I'm afraid to speak, afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell is working it's magic.
Slowly she reaches up an pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and brings her hand to rest on my cheek. Slowly she leans forward, I can feel her breath tickling my lips, and we stay like for what seems like an eternity, millimeters away touching, eyes still locked. Then I see her lazily close her eyes and then I feel her lips on mine. I close my eyes. Her lips are impossibly soft, and she's barely kissing me.
she pulls back slightly, eyes still closed, this time I close the distance between us, capturing her lips between mine. Our lips part and I feel her tongue on my bottom lips asking for entrance. The kiss deepens, slowly, erotically. I've kissed Katie a million times for the show, but not like this, never like this.
Katie pulls back, her eyes hooded, "Rita…"