Welcome back, 'yawl! Oh, and for those uninitiated to this series, or just forgot—all wrestlers are in full wrestling gear—that's how I do ALL of my stories, just so ya' know.
Anyway, last we left off, our superstars were loading up into their respective vehicles and were heading toward the local airport…I think. The reason I say that is, well…
(Now we Join the NWO as they're just pulling out onto a grassy field outside of Vince's office building…)
Hogan: Okay brothers, here we go!
Hall: Yeah, we have to get up to 100 mph before we can go—it IS 100? Right Big Kev?
Nash: Uh yeah…It's 100. Hey, buckle up everyone, we're off!
Hogan puts the pedal to the metal, so to say, as his car (known officially as the Chevy Maliboob) gradually gains speed and flies down the empty strip just ahead of the grassy field, when suddenly…
Nash: All right! We're up to 89…90…91…
Hall: Almost time, Chico!
Hogan: Ok dudes, here we…go! 100!
Hogan presses a big red button that's labeled "New World Aircraft". That's when wings gradually protrude from either side of Hogan's vehicle, and, as he's totally blazing at the speed of 130 mph right now, his car starts to leave the ground and take flight! As the plane flies toward the horizon…
Nash: Weeeeeee're off!
Meanwhile, at the Miami international airport, we have Team Extreme, who are in the airfield simply because the one head guard is a HUGE Jeff Hardy mark…
Lita: It was TOTALLY cool that that guard let us take off from here!
Matt: Well HELL, Lita! Ain't like we can take off from anywhere else around here.
Lita: Oh come ON, Matthew! I was just showing my appreciation, I know we can't take off from anywhere else—at least not without hitting anything.
Jeff: Well, ahm just ready to go! Let's lift off!
Matt: Ok gang, here…we…go!
Matt presses a button on the side of his chair that looks like one of the rivets holding it together. One of the ladders auto-detaches itself and teleports horizontally on the top ladder, which is standing upright on one of the tables. The ladder starts spinning rapidly and the vehicle slowly ascends into the air.
Meanwhile…um, again, we have DX, who are already in the air—HHH is quick like that. And, for all intents and purposes, DX's vehicle looks like a flying short bus—with REAL wings that flap!
X-Pac: Hey Hunter, where'd you get ACTUAL wings from, dude?
HHH: Simple, man! I put some Red Bull in the tank. It gives you wings!
HBK: But, isn't that just a slogan?
HHH: I thought so, too, at first. But I came to find out that it really DOES give you wings—well, either it was the Red Bull or the 'shrooms I had that day, but anyway…
X-Pac: So I gather that it wasn't the 'shrooms, then?
HHH: No way! It was the Red Bull! So after I got tired of flying around, I asked myself, would this work on my car?
HBK: And I suppose you poured some in Steph's car, then? And not your OWN?
HHH (smirking): Damn straight—and the rest is as you can see!
X-Pac: So, when you were…flying around and all, did youuh…do your thing?
HHH: Naturally. Pac, I gotta' tell ya', it was a day of…of sheer delight! I pinned people in all four corners of this United States!
X-Pac: So, you just pretty much flew around from state-to-state pinning people?
HHH: It was BEAUTIFUL! I let a referee ride on my back with a ringbell and a camera! I posed in front of landmarks, people's houses, famous neighborhoods—ALL that!
HBK: You sound like you had a good time.
HHH: Of COURSE! It was the best time I've had since finding out the benefits of being married into the McMahon family!
(DX look at each other and just start laughing. Now, for those who are unaware, "Red Bull", in my opinion, is a nasty-tasting energy drink sold in this and a few other countries where their slogan is "Red Bull: It Gives you Wings!".)
Let's join The Guerreros and Trish, who are also up in the a—wait, what the?
Trish: Eddie, I-I can't BELIEVE you-you...actually STOLE THIS AIRPLANE!
Eddie (grinning): SIMON, ESE! You don't know, mami? That's how Latino Heat ROLLS, BABY!
Chavo and Eddie: WE LIE, WE CHEAT, WE STEEEEEAAAAAAL!
Trish (smiling): And, from the looks of things, you do a damn fine job of it, hahaha!
Chavo: Shit, Uncle Eddie can hotwire ANYTHING, Amiga!
Eddie: Yeah, that's why we had you distract that one guard, chica!
Trish: You boys are something else!
Eddie digs in his tights and pulls out a gold watch and hands it to Trish…
Trish: Oh my—where did you get this, Eddie?
Eddie and Chavo look at each other and laugh as Trish looks on incredulously.
Eddie: Hey that's a good watch, ese. It should easily sell for 10 g's! Hahaha…Vince needed a hug earlier, so I GAVE him one, ese!
Trish (wide-eyed): WHAT? THIS IS VINCE'S WATCH?
Eddie: You can keep it with our blessing, chica!
Chavo: Hell, if you don't want it, I'll gladly take it, you know?
Trish: Uh…um, n-no…that-that's ok. I'll…keep it—I could use some new wrestling gear!
All three of them start laughing amongst themselves, as it seems that ol' Trish DOESN'T totally have an aversion to lying, cheating, and STEALING.
What will happen next? Will the Guerreros wind up stealing Trish's heart, just like they stole Vince's watch? Will DX's bus fly south for the winter, or will it stay on course for London? Will Hogan's crew try to cop a feel on Hogan's car's manboobs—or will the CAR's manboobs be mistaken for Hogan's? (Honk-honnnnk) And will Jeff and Lita share makeup tips with each other? On that note, will Lita get pissed at Jeff for hogging all the eyeliner?
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Tune in next time to find out—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!