The Other Side

Chapter II

Disclaimer: Fallout 3 belongs to Bethesda.

101010101

"I'm sorry, John." Amata muttered. Her voice came out as a whisper. "But you have to leave."

It pained her to say the words, but it had to be done. Now that she was overseer she had the vault as a whole to look after. A lot of the vault citizens blamed John and his father, James, for the chaos that has transpired: the radroach infestation that resulted in dozens of people dying, some from the roaches and some from vault security, and for the civil conflicts. Having John remain in the vault would be too problematic. And she couldn't afford for people to feel angry with her so soon after taking the Overseer position. The vault couldn't afford another civil unrest.

John didn't move nor speak for a long time. He simply stood before her and watched her. Her heart raced and her stomach twisted in worry. She didn't know how he would react. He no longer resembled the John that she knew growing up. His light blue eyes showed no emotion, they were nothing but a blank stare.

Finally, he blinked. He took a deep breath, then another. His gaze drifted down until he stared at his hands. Amata noticed the wounds that covered them; his left pinkie appeared to be broken too. She opened her mouth to offer medical attention before he left, but his laugh cut her off.

His laugh didn't sound like him at all. However, she could hear the bitterness within his pitch. He laughed for a long time. After a moment, he kept his head bowed down and his shoulders began to shake. She assumed he was crying and debated on placing a hand on his shoulder in comfort. But then she heard that he was still laughing; only it had been reduced to a chuckle.

He looked up at her; his eyes drilled a hole into her. She could easily see the hurt within them. Her heart panged, but she fought the urge to embrace him.

"I save the vault," his voice was cracked and soft, "and you kick me out in return?"

There was no anger in his tone, only pain. The urge to touch him, comfort him grew greater. She explained why she couldn't let him stay, of the civil unrest that would continue to grow and manifest into something worse. His sorrow filled eyes continued to draw her in, drown her in empathy.

Then his eyes changed. The sorrow was gone and replaced with something she couldn't recognize. A queer smile grew on one corner of his mouth. "Remember that rumor?"

Amata winced. She already knew what he was referring to.

"That rumor people believed you were into girls instead of boys?"

The new overseer knew where he was going with this. But she became uncomfortable with the harsh tone of his voice. He was angry. She couldn't blame him.

"Everyone teased you for something you weren't. Remember how I was able to convince everyone that the rumor was wrong? I stuck up for you, defended you." He spoke loud enough for everyone else in the infirmary to hear him.

Amata felt her heart grow heavier. "You've always been a good friend."

John unleashed his bitter laugh again. "Remember when I broke my arm when I defended you from the Tunnel Snakes?"

Her eyes were beginning to cloud. She hastily blinked the tears away.

"Or that time when I took the blame—"

"Stop," she muttered weakly. Her plea was ignored; he continued bringing every single memory of him helping her. She began to feel sick. "Stop!"

"Remember, Amata?!"

Amata heard some of the others behind her step next to her; some of them had their hands up as if waiting for a fight.

John laughed again. He rubbed his temples then his eyes. Suddenly he looked like an overworked, unappreciated broken man. The anger had depleted from his eyes and voice.

There wasn't anything she could say. She couldn't take back her earlier words. The vault was more important than her and John.

The people that surrounded her, ready to defend her against John swelled her with pride. But she also couldn't help but feel saddened that they no longer saw him as one of them. Then again, she was kicking him out. He no longer was one of them. Not since he left.

The only thing she could give him as payment was a stupid vault suit. She really should be giving him clean water or food or medicine as payment. But she didn't want to risk giving him anything the rest of the vault would've found as too valuable.

John didn't lift his hands to accept her gift, and she felt silly holding it out to him so she pushed it onto his chest. She gripped the pants of her jumpsuit to keep her hands distracted; she wanted to give him a final goodbye hug. But she couldn't in front of the others.

Anger erupted within him again. Amata jumped when John suddenly threw the jumpsuit, the sleeve of the fabric brushed against her cheek. He sent a nearby medical table littered with empty food cans toppling over. Someone next to Amata stepped forward but she placed an arm in front of them to keep them from moving closer. She didn't want them to anger John even more.

With nothing else to throw or knock down, John still appeared angry. He kept moving his hands, and then he resorted to nearly tearing off the long coat he wore. Amata readied herself to avoid the new clothing from hitting her, but John never tossed it. He simply stuffed it into his bag. Without saying a goodbye, he simply turned to leave.

What he wore nearly forced the sob out of Amata's throat, but she still forced it to stay at bay. Plastered on John's back was the large yellow numbers one-oh-one. He wore the vault suit still, but pieces of armor were plastered on it.

His departure resulted in more thrown and broken things in his path as well as two people (Butch and Stan) that nearly had their teeth punched out. Butch claimed he simply gave John his condolences. Stan, however, was a little harsh when he said, "good riddance."

Just like that her best friend was gone. Again.

The remaining day was exhausting. Her father stayed true to his word and stepped down as overseer. Most of the vault's citizens accepted the change, but very few were disgruntled, which worried Amata.

She would worry about giving any type of speech later. Her day was spent getting Mr. Brotch and some others out of jail and getting everyone else that stayed with her in the infirmary back to their rooms. That night she couldn't sleep.

The next morning her father gave her a walkthrough of his office. She updated the passcode to enter the room, the computers, even the passcode to enter the vault. No matter how busy she kept herself she couldn't shake off the guilt that continued to stab at her heart.

To see John so hurt and angry made her feel terrible. Despite how most of the vault felt, she knew he was innocent in everything. The fact that he returned to help her proved he still thought of the vault as his home. Hell, he turned his suit into armor. Kicking him out was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do. She didn't lie when she told him he was a good friend. Is a good friend.

Sighing, Amata rubbed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. As…creepy as the security cameras are (there was a camera everywhere), the new overseer found herself going through all of the camera feed to see what everyone was doing. She breathed a little easier when she saw that things had returned to normal. There was still some tension between the older and younger citizens, but they were all civilized.

She didn't plan to open the vault to the wasteland any time soon. Her top priority would be to gain everyone's trust and loyalty. Until then she—one of the monitors caught her attention. It was the sole camera on top of the vault door.

John was in front of the vault door. He sat on the ground, his back leaned against the door, and his head bowed. The thought of him in that position for two days broke her heart even more. Her hand hovered over the button that would allow her to speak to him, but what could she say?

For a moment, fear squeezed at her. Was he even alive? She pressed the button, but couldn't bring herself to speak. She simply stared at the screen. Then she saw it. His chest was moving. She sighed in relief, but still debated on whether she should say something to him.

An hour had passed and he hadn't budged. He looked so tired, defeated, and broken.

This isn't right, Amata thought. She hadn't realized tears rolled down her cheeks until she felt something wet land on the back of her hand.

Another hour passed, Amata did nothing but watch John. So many times she tried to press the intercom and talk to him, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Deep down she felt if she tried to comfort him he'd only lash out. Not that he could do anything, she had already changed the passcode to enter the vault.

She jumped when her father walked into her open office. She hastily pressed another button to change the camera feed on all of the monitors. After they were done talking and he left the room, she quickly jammed on the camera controls until one of the monitors displayed outside of the vault again. Her heart sank.

John was no longer there.

10101

The memory of their last confrontation left Amata in awe to finally see John before her. She was filled with joy to have been with him this entire time, but that feeling was quickly being washed away with guilt.

"John?" She took a step forward, her arms lifting to embrace him.

He quickly took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest. Guilt turned into pain, but Amata couldn't blame him. She hadn't expected him to be happy to see her again. She did, however, hope he would forgive her and help the vault again.

"John, I'm so—"

"No, you're not." He moved the grab his bag and began ascending the booby trapped stairs.

The plan for a bath was the last thing on her mind; Amata forced her pained feet and legs to keep pace with John. "I'm serious! I'm really sorry, John!"

Ignoring her, he squatted in front of the dying fire. A small pile of dead, dry wood nearby helped revive the fire. John pulled three food cans from his bag (what didn't he have in there, Amata thought) and emptied them into a cooking pot before placing it on a large, flat rock that was in the center of the fire.

Unsure of what to say, Amata stepped behind him, her arms crossed over her midsection. The familiar scent of preserved food made her stomach grumble loudly. John motioned for her to sit before he poured the heated food into one of the cans and handed it to her.

Pork N Beans. There was a time when she grew tired of eating this stuff so much. Now, she was happy to be eating something her stomach was used to.

John gave her another serving when she finished. "Eat up. You'll need to be at full strength. We leave tomorrow."

Amata paused in mid chew and frowned. Was he going to take her back to the vault? "Where are we headed to?"

"Some place safe." He said nothing more and continued eating his own meal.

"John," she whispered. Her can of food sat on the ground next to her, unwanted. "Could you…let me explain?"

He didn't respond. He tilted his head slightly and resulted in a shadow masking his eyes. He poured the remaining beans from the pot into his mouth, stood, and headed back downstairs.

Standing was a challenge with her legs still hurting and sore beyond belief. She still forced herself to follow him. Fine, if he didn't want to answer her then he could at least listen.

"I was going to let you come back home. I just needed time to let things return to normal."

John busied himself by cleaning the pot under the weak trickle of water from the pipe. He tried to distract himself by thinking of other things; he didn't want to hear what his former best friend had to say. If he did he didn't know if he could control his urge to shoot something.

"Once things were settled I could have convinced everyone that you weren't to blame for anything. I had several people willing to talk on your behalf, of how you helped them during the radroach attack. And of course, the others you helped when you came back."

He couldn't block out her voice. Agitated, he scrubbed the pot with unnecessary force.

Amata sighed quietly. "I understand you probably hate me right now. Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you through the monitor?"

John stopped scrubbing and his shoulders tensed.

"I felt so helpless just watching you hurting so much. To know that I caused you to feel that way and there was nothing I could do."

The pot John was cleaning had fallen and hit the ground creating a loud bang that made Amata jump. Before she could ask if he was alright he had turned around and she could immediately see the anger in his pale eyes.

"It was hard for you?" He wasn't yelling, but he was awfully close to it. He gave a short and harsh chuckle. "It was hard…for you?"

Amata cursed mentally. Perhaps her choice of words weren't the best.

"You always have to make everything about you, Amata!"

The overseer involuntarily gripped the leggings of her jumpsuit. This was her first time seeing John get this upset.

"Do you know how hard it was for me?" He stepped closer to her. She winced and looked away, anticipating he would hit her. "Did you know when I came to help I was still grieving for my father's death?"

That news startled her. She never could have fathomed that James was dead. She assumed that because he was born and had lived most of his life in the wasteland that he would survive. He and John, both, would survive. "You…never told me."

"You never asked! The moment I walked into the vault I was nothing more but a robot. Orders issued at me and results expected immediately."

Amata couldn't stop the tears that were freely tickling her cheeks. "H-how was he?"

"He sacrificed himself. So I would escape alive." There wasn't a single speckle of sorrow in his eyes, only hatred and anger. And regret.

Thinking of James being murdered brought the horrible memories and images of Jonah when he was murdered, beaten to death. Heavy boots stomping down on his face, body, neck.

She placed a hand over her mouth and willed herself not to throw up. She was stronger than this. Her father had always confided in her that he did not raise a weak child.

John spoke again, his voice was a little softer, some sorrow was leaking out, but he was quick to mask it with more anger. "How do you think I felt? I had to witness my father die in front of me. I had to put on a strong face and help useless people escape and get to safety. Every step of the way I never had a quiet moment to mourn. I was always given other people's problems to solve."

He paused to splash water on his face. For a long moment he was silent. When Amata was about to speak he continued. "I had to get away from everything. Take some time to accept the reality of everything. But that's when I got your message."

More tears flowed out of Amata's brown eyes. She wanted to apologize to John until her voice gave out, she would do anything to make it up to him. But she remained quiet and continued to listen. Though she didn't think she could take any more guilt.

"Do you know how happy I was?" A weak smile formed in the corner of his lips. His eyes drifted up to the ceiling and almost looked cloudy, as if deep in thought. Amata couldn't help but smile too. But when his smile faded so suddenly, so did hers. "I thought that if I helped the vault, save it, that I could stay. Stay and let my life go back to how it was. No worry, no hunger or thirst, no one trying to kill me. I just wanted to forget anything happened."

Amata stifled a sob that sought so desperately to escape. For a moment she could see all of the pain and loneliness in her best friend's eyes. She fought the impulse to embrace him.

"But I couldn't even be granted that, despite everything I did for everyone." He laughed softly.

He picked up the pot that he had dropped earlier and gave it another rinse. Then he turned back to Amata, his eyes were cold and distant. All trace of emotion earlier had completely evaporated. "You know what? I change my mind. Get ready, we're leaving in thirty minutes."

Frowning again, Amata grabbed his arm before he walked away. "Where are we going?"

He violently pulled his arm away and appeared as if her touch burned him. His reaction hurt her more. "As I said, some place safe."

Amata limped in front of him. "I'm not leaving until you tell me where we're going, John. You'll have to drag or carry me."

His eyes darkened as he glared at her. "Why does it matter? You don't know the wasteland."

The overseer's heart sank. So he didn't plan on taking her back to the vault and help. "John, I came out here because I—we need your help."

His laugh sent chills down her back. "Last time I helped I was kicked out of my home permanently. What's my prize for helping this time? Kill me?"

Amata winced. "You don't understand, we've—"

"No, you don't understand!"

The shorter woman stepped back from his outburst. What happened to her close friend? He never reacted like this. She shook her head and glared at him in return. "If you won't take me back to the vault and help, the least you can do is give me a name to where we're going."

Frustrated, he rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment. "Fine, we're heading to Paradise Falls."

The name didn't sound…too bad, Amata thought. "If you aren't going to help me, why take me anywhere?"

John pulled out his long rifle again and began to inspect it. "I helped the vault last time because it was a favor for the only friend I had in this damn shithole of a wasteland."

Amata was too stunned to say anything.

"I'm taking you to a safe place where you can fit in and live the rest of your life comfortably. That's more than what I can say about my life."

"Why?"

He shoved a small clip into his rifle before he slung it onto his back. Then he looked at her for a long silent moment. "I'm repaying my debt. You saved my life when you helped me escape the vault. Now, I'm saving your life by helping you escape the hardship of the wasteland."

Amata was torn between feeling grateful and guilty. She was still the overseer; it was her job to protect the vault and everyone in it. She wouldn't give up yet.

"How long will it take to get there," she asked.

John shrugged. He seemed to have no shame in undressing in front of her. She averted her eyes upward, but couldn't fight the heat in her cheeks. When he finally spoke he was wearing tan colored armor and his long coat of a matching color. If they were outside he would blend in well with the dirt, especially if someone were to see him from a distance. Then again that was probably the point.

"It depends. I, myself, can get there in two or three days. With you? Maybe a week."

One week. Amata vowed she'll make the trip as long as possible. But she'll have a week to earn John's forgiveness, and ultimately get him to help.

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A/N: Much thanks to those that took the time to leave feedback. And I apologize for releasing this a week later than planned. I aim to release new chapters every Friday. But the past two weeks have been…busy. Every time I sat down to begin writing something always came up and ate away my precious time.