Have you ever been broken? I have... I know what its like to cry yourself to sleep, I know what its like to fall asleep hoping that you wont wake up, I know what its like waking up and wanting to cry even more then you did last night simply because you woke up and instead of being in an eternal sleep and you have to go and face your demons all over again.

Have you ever wished you could go back? I have...Lord knows I have. Wish you could go back to when you were younger or back to happier times. Back when you would smile without noticing, back when it didn't take everything in you to be happy because it came naturally...

Have you ever been Lonely? Truly lonely? I have... You could be in a crowd of people yet still feel alone. True loneliness is not something physical its something mental, loneliness is when you feel like if you died right then and there nobody would care... that is true loneliness. Its even worst when you see everyone with someone that cares about them and they smile and laugh while you just look at them...

Have you ever felt worthless? Has anyone ever called you that? I've been called that and felt that. Telling yourself that you aren't worthless, wanting to do nothing but prove them wrong, but you don't know how. The worst part is when you wake one day and actually believe them... When you look in the mirror and whisper to yourself, I'm worthless...

Do you have demons in your head? I do...That part of yourself that whispers horrible things in your head. And you tell yourself that their wrong, that you are more than what they say. But unfortunately everyone has those nights where you believe it what they say. Every time you look in the mirror all that goes through your head is what they say, every time you look in the mirror ALL you think about is what they say...

Have you ever been suicidal but not? When you have a headache and take pills, but you never bother to look down at how many they're are, you just swallow them not caring. Or when you cross the street but don't bother to look to see if a car is coming, when its night and you walk through every single dark alley. You wont pull the trigger or jump, but you don't care if you die another way, or by 'accident'...

My name is Erza Scarlet and I am an alcoholic, I drink to forget. To feel good, but most importantly to escape.

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I open my eyes, sunlight hitting them as soon as I do. I put my hand over them and open them again and look around. I don't know where I am, I see a bunch of other people passed out around me. My head is killing me, I stand up and begin to look for my jacket. I find it underneath a passed out Cana, I move her and get my jacket.

I put it on and find the front door, when I do I get out and begin to walk to the train station remembering now where I am. I check my pockets and see I have some money, I go inside the station and buy a ticket. I get on the train and go to the stop nearest my apartment. When they call it out on the monitor I get off and begin to walk home.

My head is still killing me, it doesn't help that it is especially sunny today. I get to my apartment building and climb up the stairs to the third floor where my apartment is. I get to my door and unlock it, I immediately notice my roommate isn't home, she must have gone to work already.

I go to the bathroom, I open the medicine cabinet and pick up the bottle of aspirin. I open the bottle and dump some pills on my hand, I don't bother to count them, I put them inside my mouth and swallow them. I begin to take off my clothes from the previous night, they consisted of an old pair of skinny jeans and a now ripped t-shirt of an old cartoon character, I step into the shower and turn on the water.

I turn the knob to the hottest setting, for a couple of seconds it burn my skin, when it does I turn it to normal. After my shower I put a towel around my body and walk to my room. I go to my drawer and find some pajamas pants that have flower print on them and an old pink tank top, I climb into bed and close my eyes to get some proper sleep.

I am awaken by the sound of my phone, I reach out toward my nightstand, when I find it I answer it. It is Cana telling me about another party that is going on today, its going to be at some bar, so it will be better then the one from yesterday.

I agree to go and deicide to go back to sleep for another hour before I get ready. I wake up an hour later and get out of bed. I walk to my small closet and pull out some gray old skinny jeans and a black muscle tank top that has a band name on it. I walk to the mirror and brush my hair, I leave it in its natural state deciding not to style it.

I put some black eyeliner on and a light red shade of lipstick. When I'm done I keep my eyes on my reflection on the mirror for a couple of seconds before I walk away. I walk toward my bed and put on my old converse. I walk toward the front door and pick up my jacket, I make sure I have my keys, wallet and phone then head out. Ready for another night of drinking.

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