I watched Craig walk down the street toward home, feeling a little sad. But there was nothing I could do.
"What'd you do that for, Joey?" Emma said, her face all scrunched up.
"Look, it isn't up to me. His dad doesn't want him seeing me or Ang," Defending myself to a 13 year old. Craig was getting smaller in the distance, and even from here I could see the tense set to his shoulders. Poor kid.
I tried to put it out of my mind. Sang some bad karaoke with Spike and Snake and Yick, drank a few beers, teased Spike about getting older. Sometimes it was funny, I could remember Spike and Snake as kids so well, Junior High, Spike's mile high hair, Snake's tallness sort of exaggerated by how skinny he was back then. Before Angela and Julia, before all this adult stuff. I missed it sometimes.
We left kind of late, and I carried a sleepy Angela to the car. At home I got her in her jammies and put her to bed. Stayed up late and had one glass of wine on top of all my beers and got a little teary eyed thinking of Julia. When would this sorrow end?
Next day and the routine beginning again, Angie was hard to wake up and pouted once I did wake her up. She had cereal and I had coffee and then we were off, and I watched her head up the steps to the school, her back pack on her back.
Slow day at work, and I sat in my office and sipped on cooling coffee, thought about Angie in school, wondered what she was doing. Thought about the sad way Craig had left Spike's party, and how it really wasn't fair to him. But that was Albert, a cross to bear, I supposed. Thought maybe I'd leave early again, pick up Ang and go home.
I drove up to Emma's and Spike's, and I saw Emma doing her homework on the porch, her blond hair hanging in her face. She looked up and I didn't quite pick up on the panic on her face.
"Emma. Where's Angie? With your mom?" Smiling, cheerful, and sometimes Spike would take Angie off Emma's hands.
"Um, no…" And now I did notice the sub-panic, Emma's eyes wide. The nervous licking of her lips.
"Emma, where is she?" And panic in my voice now, and anger.
"She's with Craig, alright!" Emma cracked, never very good under pressure. With Craig? Hadn't I just told her that Albert didn't want Craig seeing Angela?
"What! You let her go off with him?"
"To the park, alright! Joey, he's her brother-"
"And you're just her babysitter! Leave the parenting decisions to me," The anger spilling over. Emma was rather self righteous for a 13 year old. And part of why I was angry was that she was right. Craig did have a right to see her, but his dad said no. So it was out of our hands.
I went to the park fast, feeling very nervous all of a sudden. I didn't know why. Craig was responsible and everything, and he was good with Angela. But I felt nervous all the same. Felt like something wasn't right. I'd just be happier if I knew exactly where Angela was.
I parked next to the park, got out quick and ran, calling both of their names. No answer and I didn't see them and I felt real fear now, my heart trip hammering inside my chest. I needed to see my daughter immediately, cupped my hands and called for her again.