Zim was circling the perimeter, stalking his prey. He silently wove through the trees, approaching Dib who was sitting at the foot of the swings. He appeared to be resting. Zim had advanced enough so that the boy was just a few more paces away. The alien stopped behind a tree nearest to Dib and used his PAK legs to pull himself up into its branches. He peeked down through the leaves and saw Dib still sitting there, unaware he was in danger.

Zim giggled in eagerness, crawling out just a little further on the limb. It proved to be a bad idea; when he shifted his weight on his hand that was gripping the branch it slipped on some greasy substance. With a grunt of surprise he dropped out of the tree and fell gracelessly right onto his back.

"Ow!" He yelled, laying arched awkwardly over his PAK. He couldn't see the boy from the dirt but he could hear him celebrating his victory in the distance.

"I win! I win!" Dib jeered. "I knew you'd climb the tree! Muwahahahahah loser!"

"I'll get you tomorrow!" Zim called out as Dib ran off. Even though he was in a lot of pain Zim had a satisfied smile on his face – he was pleased that Dib was such a challenge to approach. It was more fun that way.

"Does that bad kid even have a family?" Zim heard some kid ask her friend in the sandbox.

"I hope not - would you want to be his mommy?" The other girl replied, shaking sand out of her doll's ratty hair.

Zim, still laying on his PAK, turned his head to the side to look at the two kindergarteners. "But then where does he sleep? Does he go to school?" The first girl, who Zim now saw had red hair, asked.

"He doesn't go to my school." The second girl shrugged, then shoved her doll's head into the sand.

Zim had been having so much fun the past two weeks playing with the Dib that he hadn't even thought about that. Irken young are fully functional and able to take care of themselves the moment they hatch. Zim had learned that human children were not so precocious – they needed to be taken care of for quite a long time.

"All right, guess I'll have to place a tracking device on Dib-brat." He thought to himself, then got up gingerly and limped home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zim arrived at the park the next day a little later than usual. He had reported in with his Tallests earlier and since he been neglecting the information-gathering portion of his mission, because of his daily trips to the park, he had spent the morning effortlessly hacking into different government computer systems so that he had at least something to talk to them about.

As he approached the park he noticed a group of people gathered near the street. He scanned the play area and didn't see the Dib. After that he trotted over to see if he was there.

And he was. Not only that but he was the center of attention. A policeman was holding Dib by the arm and talking to the group of people at the same time, writing down their statements. There was a bike on the ground and a bawling kid sitting next to it – obviously feeding off of the attention.

Zim audaciously walked straight through the crowd and stopped in front of the cop who was restraining his Dib. "Give me that!" He demanded and ripped Dib's arm from the cop's grasp. He immediately turned and started to walk away with him.

"Hey! You can't do that!" The empty-handed cop complained. "I'm taking him into custody."

"You dare to tell Zim he cannot do something!" Zim held up Dib's hand. "This is mine. You cannot have it."

"That's your son?" The cop asked, skeptical.

Zim didn't know what the word 'son' meant – the Irken language didn't have a word for it so his universal translator didn't pick it up. The onlookers began to shout over each other insisting that there was no way that Zim was that boy's father. Zim was amused by their quarreling intrusion.

"Okay, everyone calm down." The officer said smoothly. "That boy is in a lot of trouble, Mister. I've been getting complaints about him for months. And just now he was caught stealing this kid's bike." The cop pointed to the crybaby sitting on the curb.

"He's in trouble for that?" Zim sneered.

"He stole it! Right from under that poor boy!" Some loud-mouthed mother butt in. "And he almost got away with it too!"

"Oh, I understand." Zim said and shook Dib by the arm. "How come you didn't get away with it?"

"I can't ride a two-wheeler." Dib grumbled under his breath.

"He crashed into a tree and I was able to catch him." The cop beamed.

"Ew. Well, next time be more careful!" Zim said to Dib. Zim picked up the bike by the handle and turned to walk away. "Come on." He called to Dib.

"Where do you think you are going with that?!" The cop yelled, reaching for his shoulder.

Zim easily evaded the human's grubby hand without even looking. "That is none of your business." Zim said dismissively. Dib's eyes sparkled with a new-found admiration for the Irken and began to follow Zim with the bike.

"You can't have that bike! And I told you I am taking that hooligan into custody!"

Zim decided that he hated this cop. "I don't know what a 'hooligan' is but Dib did nothing wrong. This bike thing belongs to him now."

"Stealing is wrong! You shouldn't encourage it!" A random parent yelled. The other people nodded in agreement.

"He fought for it because he wanted it, and he won. That makes him superior." Zim explained slowly, as if talking to idiots (which to him he was).

"Sir if you don't cooperate I am going to have to arrest you." The cop threatened.

"Are you challenging me?" Zim half laughed, half hissed. The cop's confident expression became uncertain when he saw Zim's face: Zim's smile was just a little too wide, his gaze just a little too intense. The man shifted uncomfortably then pulled out his night stick from his belt and held it up.

"Ha!" Zim pushed the bike into Dib's hands and dropped into a familiar fighting stance. "I accept your challenge! Face me, security drone!" He yelled competitively.

"Wha-!" The cop began but wasn't able to finish. Zim grabbed the man's wrist impossibly quick and turned it back on itself. He screamed in pain and dropped his weapon. Zim wasted no time in stooping to retrieve the baton, he cracked it against the cop's ankle before straightening up. The cop screamed and shifted his weight to the other foot. Zim spun around the bewildered officer and kicked down at the back of the man's knees. The sweating human cried out again and fell onto his back. This all happened in a matter of a seconds.

Zim crouched over him and dangled his baton above him mockingly. The man's face flushed red and he reached for something clipped to his shoulder. Zim saw the box he was reaching for, some type of primitive communication device, and smashed it easily with the stick. He then rapped it on the cops knuckles just for fun. The cop grunted in pain, shaking his bruised hand in the air.

"I don't even feel good about winning this one." Zim said. He easily broke the night stick in two with his bare hands and dropped the two halves on the ground. No one dared to move as Zim left the circle. He took the bike's handlebars away from Dib, who was staring at the fallen cop, and simply walked away with it. Dib stared at the cop a little longer, the man was still lying where he had fallen, face puffy with humiliation and fear, then turned and happily chased after Zim.

"Hey, Zim." Dib whispered when he had caught up to him. Zim looked down at him questioningly. "I didn't want the bike." He finished.

Zim threw the bike down to the ground without stopping. His earsplitting laughter echoed after them the rest of the way home.