If you've ever played as Engineer on Team Fortress 2, this scenario should sound painfully familiar.

You're hauling a building up to the next control point. Everyone on the team is ahead of you because they're just not patient enough to make sure you and that spiffy fully-upgraded teleporter don't get gibbed or sniped or burned into a billion flaming pieces. It doesn't matter though, because the point's in view now. They've got the other team occupied; no one's going to slip past and—

Fwwsh.

You spin around, heart pounding at the sound of a decloaking Spy. "SPAH 'ROUND HERE!" you call, but of course everyone's too busy to take notice. Crap. Well if you get backstabbed that teleporter is just so much loose ammunition for the Spy to pick up. You put it down and get out your shotgun, edging toward the nearest wall so he can't get in a backstab. Your eyes flick left and right as you wait for anything unusual to happen.

And then, running straight at you, is a Sniper. Not searching for a good sniping spot, not looking to see if you've set up a dispenser somewhere, just coming at you like you won't see through that disguise in an instant.

Two or three shots later, and the other team's Spy is dead at your feet. It's almost insulting really; did he think that was going to work? People don't just RUN at you unless there's a reason anyways. Feeling marginally more confident, you move to pick up your teleporter again.

And then the enemy Demoman that slipped past your friends blows you and your machine to smithereens with a few well-placed grenades. "THAT'S A RIGHT PRETTY BRA-WASHER YA BUILT, YOU BIG UGLY GIRL!"

Add in the obligatory whines of your teammates about a lack of dispensers while you're respawning, and you've got a typical day in the life of a particularly unlucky Engineer. At least, that's what Engineering felt like when I first tried it out. I built something, they blew it up, and I died. Over and over again.

Now if you read the first chapter of this ongoing saga, you'll know that I started playing Engineer a while back to, uh, take a break from being a Medic. I finally did get the hang of finding spots for sentries and not dying so much, but before long it was back to my solemn duties of keeping teammates alive (and shooting anyone I thought I could take on in the face with syringes, because that's fun too.) At any rate I had some first-hand experience in the 'horrible things that happen to Engineers on a regular basis' department when that round of CTF Turbine happened.

It was one of those games where everything was going so wrong for me that I just felt like being a derp until the round was over. After respawning for what was probably the twelfth time and not having a Medic buddy to run out with, I decided to take a detour through the intel room instead of heading right out into the open. Sure it wasn't likely there'd be anyone there to buff, but it would keep me from running out to the brawl IMMEDIATELY and getting a crocket to the face for my trouble. So I headed down the stairs, glanced at our Engineer's set up, and headed out the door.

That was about the time I started to hear gunshots, which was really confusing because there weren't any enemy REDs around. I looked up and saw that the Engineer was running at me with his shotgun out, looking pretty ticked off. He was the one firing.

Ach, he zhinks you are a Spy, came that familiar voice-in-my-head. I've taken to calling him Mister Obnoxious Voice, though that probably isn't his proper title. Either way, he sounded really annoyed. Just shoot some syringes into zhe wall zho he knows— VHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Giggling hysterically, I started running in circles through the two doors of the intel room without firing or looking back at the Engineer. The poor paranoid guy kept chasing me, his suspicions apparently confirmed. "THAT MEDIC'S A SPAH!"

Engineer-baiting? Zhis is completely unacceptable! You are going to haff ozzer teammates confused as to your identity!

"Oh don't be such a baby. I've not been doing zhe team much good anyvays; I might as vell haff some fun." I turned to run past the Engie, jump over the railing, and make a beeline for the intel.

What did you just say to me?! but I wasn't listening. Turning to face the Engineer (who was probably about to have a heart attack), I ran straight to the intelligence, circling the little point it was on so he could tell I wasn't able to pick it up.

The Engineer stopped and just stared at me for a second. Then he shot me point blank with his shotgun, clearly irritated, and went back to his dispenser. Somewhere deep down in my silly derping heart, I knew I deserved it. I mean, friendly fire wasn't on so it didn't do any damage, but… you know what I mean.

Now if you are done vasting time und ozer people's ammunition— grated out Mister Obnoxious Voice, but he was interrupted.

You know, a lotta classes would be 'bout fit to kill after a stunt like that.

I'd never heard this guy before. "Er… I apologize?"

There was a chuckle. Oh y'all don't need to worry none. I'm not lookin' for revenge just now or nothin'.

Vhat are you doing here? Zhis is MY recruit; if you are upset vith vhat she did, at least haff zhe decency to settle it vhen I am not present, und vhen vhe are not in zhe middle of a game!

But it's like I said Doc; I'm not lookin' for revenge. Not yet anyways. I just want to put in a friendly little reminder that I'm around, and that I look after my own.

Well that was unsettling. "Excuse me, but I am confused. Vhat exactly vas zhat supposed to mean?"

Oh, you seem like a bright girl. I'm sure y'all can figure it out.

Zhank you for LEAVING, M.O.V. snapped. Now, you. Can you please rein in your infantile urges und find someone to heal?

"Egh… yes, sorry." I was watching the Engineer though. Memories were starting to come back from my own little experiments with Engineering and how utterly depressing it could be sometimes. And this guy wasn't just building sentries anywhere; he was on a Capture the Flag map where an Engineer was usually expected to hang out in one spot for the whole game while everyone else got in on the action. Talk about taking one for the team.

Feeling slightly abashed, I sidled over and started healing him, mainly just to show there were no hard feelings.

He responded by running toward the exit, shooting me a quick "Much obliged" over his shoulder.

Vait, vhat is he doing?

"I don't know." But I followed the guy anyways. It wasn't like anyone else was around at the moment, and I was curious.

When we got into the main area, it was completely deserted save for a single Spy, who my friend quickly dispatched. The sounds of explosions in the distance indicated that the rest of the team was occupied near one of the intel rooms, and sure enough we heard the announcement of "Success! We have secured the enemy intelligence!" No one joined us out there though.

And still that Engineer kept running for the other side.

A thought hit me, one that should have hit me when I first started following the guy out of our base. "…zhis is going to end badly."

Perhaps, but zhat is zhe point of zhe experiment, ja? To see if zhe procedure vill succeed.

"I suppose, but—"

Vithout zhe risk, zhere is no progress! Keep going Frauline; I vant to see vhat happens.

"You are very bossy." But I kept after the Engineer anyways. As we drew closer and closer to the other side's intelligence, I tensed. Any second we'd hear the beeping of a sentry or the tell-tale thoomp thoomp of a Demoman laying out a welcome mat of sticky bombs. But as miraculous as it may seem, the room was completely clear. Whatever the rest of our team was up to, it seemed to have RED thoroughly distracted.

A BLU Scout bounced out of the room toward us, so I healed him as the Engineer scooped up the glowing RED briefcase. I just had to grin; we were halfway there.

Zhat is odd.

"Vhat?"

Don't you zhink it is strange zhat zhe Scout vould run out of zhe room vithout even glancing at zhe intelligence? It is almost as zhough he vere running from somezhing.

"Or perhaps he's just a ridiculous bouncing Scout vith very little sense." I traipsed in after my buddy so I could make sure his health stayed buffed.

That was about the time the RED Engineer barreled down the stairs, Pompson in his hands. By the building-less state of the room and the fact that we had the intel, I figured he wasn't in the best of moods.

"…oh. Vhell zhat's explained zhen."

We turned and ran, but really I wasn't too concerned. It was one Engineer with no sentry anyways, and there were three of us. Sure enough, the Scout zoomed past me into the intel room to deal with him. I turned to make sure he was all right.

Except the Scout never came back out. RED Engineer did. His goggles flashed as he started firing at my patient. A little cry let me know that he didn't miss.

Ach, no! If you capture zhis zhen you vin zhe round! DO SOMEZHING!

Now normally in a situation like this, Medics are encouraged to stick with their heal targets to keep them buffed. It would have been fairly easy to run next to and around him while healing the damage done by the enemy. I probably could have even used myself as a human shield by running behind him.

So naturally I hung back so the RED passed me and pulled out my trusty Blutsauger. "GET AVAY FROM MY ENGINEER!

Syringes flew with a truly intimidating pew pew pew as I closed the gap between me and the other Engie. My aim went wide as we twisted through the little hall though, and not a single projectile hit its target. Zaps and grunts of pain from ahead told me that the enemy had no such problem with his Pompson.

Your aim is terrible! Who taught you how to shoot?!

"Aagh…" I had to reload as we came back into the open midway. RED was completely focused on shooting the intel-carrier and didn't so much as look over his shoulder for me. He might not have known I was still haring after him. All the better. And he was even being courteous enough to run in a straight line.

With a predatory grin, I emptied the clip of syringes into RED's back. He fell after a few seconds.

"HA!" Even as I switched back to the Medigun and gunshots (finally) rang out behind us, we made it back through the door into our base. So close now.

Past respawn we ran, past our team that had mysteriously reappeared, and in a moment we were back in the intel room. As I bounded down the steps though, the Engineer slowed. Just feet from the point, he turned to face me.

I couldn't believe it. "Vhat are you doing? Secure zhe intelligence!"

With a heartfelt grin he raised his Gunslinger-hand into the air for a high-five. "Heck yes!"

That was one of my favorite things to happen ever. Sure it took us three times to actually coordinate the taunt, and sure we were almost killed by the respawned RED Engineer and RED Spy while we were celebrating, but even if it had cost us the intel that hi-five would have been worth it. But they didn't kill us anyways, so no harm done.

So my worthy Engineer friend won the round, and I redeemed myself for being a jerk. I thought that was the end of it. But it was just getting started.