A/N: I have a pretty good background in Renaissance Lit, but I have sadly not had much experience with the work of John Donne. I humbly beg forgiveness for any glaring errors in poetic interpretation! Enjoy!

Chapter Two: Love's Alchemy

If there was any job worse than waitressing, Penny would have been glad to hear about it. At the moment, however, she doubted that such a thing even existed. She'd had a terrible night. Customer after customer had been a pain in the ass of Sheldon-like proportions (lord love him, but he was demanding!) and her tips did nothing to compensate for the trouble she had gone to for those people. To top it all off, her manager had practically called her stupid right to her face. In front of the guys too. Leonard had looked like he had been about to stick up for her, but she had silenced him with a look. She hadn't wanted to make things any worse than they were.

She sighed, exhausted. All in all, she was glad to be home.

Knock knock knock

"Penny."

Knock knock knock

"Penny."

Knock knock knock

"Penny."

Just when things were looking up! She thought. She felt bad right away. Maybe Sheldon had just come to check on her. He had been getting really good at the whole "best friend" thing, after all. She opened the door.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?"

He handed her a stack of mail. "Since you neglected to fetch your mail earlier I thought I'd just do it for you."

"Thanks Sheldon."

"Oh, you're welcome. I'd rather the super not come to me to complain again about your leaving your mail box full to bursting."

"Gee, you're so sweet." She rolled her eyes and walked away, sorting through the pile. "Bill, bill, junk, bill," she said, tossing them into the trash. Then she came upon another envelope that looked very much like the last one she had gotten from her mystery man. She gasped and tore open excitedly.

Dear Penny,

I am sorry you had such a terrible time at work today. I, for one, do not think you are stupid. You are clever in your own right, witty, warm, and genuine, and do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I only wish there was more I could have done for you at the time. Perhaps this will somehow improve your evening. Don't let them bring you down, my dear.

"Love's Alchemy"

Some that have deeper digg'd love's mine than I,

Say, where his centric happiness doth lie.

I have loved, and got, and told,

But should I love, get, tell till I were old,

I should not find that hidden mystery.

O! 'tis imposture all;

And as no chemic yet th'elixir got,

But glorifies his pregnant pot,

If by the way to him befall

Some odoriferous thing, or medicinal,

So, lovers dream a rich and long delight,

But get a winter-seeming summer's night.

--John DONNE

Penny read it over thoughtfully a couple times, but couldn't quite make out exactly what it meant.

"Sheldon, would you take a look at this? I'm not sure what to make of it."

"Certainly Penny," he took it and read it over quickly. "Why, it's fairly obvious. You have some sort of secret admirer."

"I know that, Sheldon," she huffed. "I'm talking about the poem!"

"Oh! Well…" he shuffled, suddenly nervous. "Well, he seems to be saying that he does not quite understand the curious dichotomies present in the works of the great poets, particularly Petrarch. Petrarch felt such intense love for the lady Laura that he 'burned in winter' and 'froze in summer,' and yet it was always a challenge for him to communicate and pinpoint exactly what it was that he was struggling with. Where did this emotion come from? What does it all mean? Donne also appears to be suggesting that such ponderous effort is insufficient, and paradoxes like cold summer nights are not much more than hokum put forth by the love-addled mind. He is also declaring his own inadequacy by saying that he has yet to dig as deeply into the subject as men like Petrarch have in their works."

Penny ran that through her Sheldon-to-English dictionary.

"So, you mean that words weren't quite enough to capture that certain something he felt for the woman he loved? That love is tricky to define?"

"Precisely."

Penny flushed, feeling very pleased with herself. She liked it when she understood Sheldonese. She sat on the couch and Sheldon took his usual seat.

"Penny, is this the first such note that you have received?"

"Uh-uh. This is the second one. I got the first one on Saturday."

"I see. And do you have any idea who's been sending them?"

"Well, based on this one, I'm wondering if it's Leonard." Sheldon didn't respond. She felt a weird obligation to point out that, if it was Leonard, she would not be reciprocating. "It's obviously someone who saw what happened at work tonight, and Leonard looked like he wanted to stick up for me," she hurried to explain. "The writer says that he wishes he could've done more… Not that I want it to be Leonard, or anything! I mean, he's a good friend, but we broke up months ago and I just don't feel that way toward him…" she trailed off, embarrassed.

Sheldon only said very quietly, "I don't think it's Leonard."

"How come?"

"He's seeing Stephanie again."

"Oh. Oh, I see," she bit her lip, concentrating. "Maybe it's someone from work?"

Sheldon looked very uncomfortable with this whole conversation. "Penny, I only asked because this person has clearly been keeping tabs on you and has access to our building. It may not be safe!"

She patted his arm, feeling touched by his concern. "Thanks sweetie, but I think it's harmless." She shrugged. "Anyway, I'm not expecting anything to come from it. I mean, whoever it is won't even tell me his name!" She smiled. "No, it's just a bit of fun."

Sheldon shot to his feet. He was very red in the face. "I see. Well, if that will be all I believe I am going to bed." He nodded at her awkwardly. "Goodnight, madam," he said, heading out the door.

"Goonight, Moon Pie!" she called after him. She frowned. If Sheldon couldn't even handle a conversation about theoretical romance, how on earth would he react if she ever came clean about her feelings? She tucked the note into a book for safekeeping and went to bed, glad that the day was over and she could just stop thinking.

. . .

Sheldon shut his own door behind him and breathed a sigh of relief. Penny had no idea who she was receiving letters from. As long as she didn't ask him who he thought was behind it all, he felt that he could keep his facial tics under control. After all, omitting the truth was not exactly the same as lying.

He felt a stab of disappointment when he recalled that she seemed to think it was all a lark. His resolve remained firm, however, in his hoping that, when he finally revealed himself, she would be able to reciprocate the feelings that he had been hiding for so long.

With a firm stride, he went into his room and settled in for another long night of reading poetry.