The SECRETS of the KONOHA ninja - makacatori

Romance/Drama/Action/Adventure/mystery/humor

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Warnings:

Yaoi, cursing, some violence, All Canon character are out of Character, the Author being stupid for the sake of comedy, MPREG (Mainly involving Orochimaru and Kabuto) and there might be a little Sakura bashing a little later.

Summary:

An action adventure romance drama humor rewrite of the Naruto series. Warnings: AU, YAOI and HET, OOC, MPREG, Bloodline limits, mixed lineage, super powerful Rookies and the Author's Stupidity.

"Blah" –Speaking

Blah – thinking

"Blah" – Kyuubi Speaking

Blah –Kyuubi thinking

Blah – Naruto thinking to Kyuubi

'Blah'-Perverted thoughts

'Blah' –Inner Sakura

---------------- Blah ------------------ Scene Change or Time Skip or A different Point of view

------------- (A/N: Blah) --------------- An important notice by the author, usually for a citrus or violence

(A/N: Blah) – A side note, usually a small joke by the author

Previously:

"Who's Gai?" Sasuke asked irritated.

"Maito Gai is a emotionally unstable taijutsu expert, he has declared Copy-cat Kakashi his rival. And he was my former teacher." Neji answered.

"Oh." Sasuke said before returning to his stoic pretense.

"Alright, everyone to the roof!" Kakashi said and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Jonins are so lazy! Always with the teleportation jutsu! God they got to get more exercise…

"You have a point their kit! I wonder what your sensei would do if we botched his teleportation jutsu every time he was near us?"

Now that's something to think about!

The Teams' Dramatics and Relations

(Chapter Two)

Neji, Naruto and Sasuke quickly took their seats; Sasuke sat in the middle. Kakashi studied each of them carefully. The so-called loudmouth idiot studied him back. Naruto was unusually silent, which startled Sasuke. "Alright, I want you tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies and your dreams for the future. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person who doesn't feel like talking about his likes and dislikes. My dreams for the future are none of your business… but anyway, I have lots of hobbies. You start Mr. Broody." Neji and Sasuke glanced at each other and couldn't decide which he referred to. Kakashi sighed "Sasuke tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams."

Sasuke growled, but answered "There are plenty of things I hate, but I don't see that it matters considering there is almost nothing I do like. It seems pointless to talk about 'dreams' that's just a word... but what I do have is a determination, I plan to restore my clan and there's someone I have sworn to kill."

"And that's all you can expect of an Uchiha." Naruto muttered venomously, this was only caught by Kakashi. So Naruto didn't like Uchihas? Why? Kakashi wondered.

"Alright Mr. Broody number two." Kakashi said gesturing to Neji.

Neji sighed, "My likes are training. My dislikes are the Hyuga main branch family. My hobbies are training and my dreams are making those who have wronged me and my father pay."

Without being prompted Naruto began "My likes are instant cup ramen, when Iruka-sensei treats me to ramen at Ichiraku noodle bar. I hate the three minute wait after I pour in the boiling water. My dream is to one day be a better shinobi that the Hokage. And then the villagers will have to acknowledge my existence at last! My hobbies are pranks and practically jokes I guess…" Suddenly Naruto lost concentration and his three teammates were left to question why.

Kakashi lifted an eyebrow and said "Alright, of the twenty-seven members of your graduating class, only ten will actually be accepted as Genin, the other seventeen must go back to the academy for more training. The test we are about to perform has a rate of 67 percent failure." He said ominously. Sasuke and Neji frowned and Naruto just lifted an eyebrow as if saying, 'is that all?' "Alright so meet me at training field 41.

Kakashi quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Weren't you going to prevent him from teleporting?"

In due time Kyuubi. I was thinking a good time would be after the test… I have a premonition that he won't be getting away without a few scrapes.

What an evil child, I've raised. Kyuubi congratulated himself.

---------------------------------------- Training Ground 41----- 15 minutes later -----------------------------------

Kakashi was actually quite surprised when Sasuke, Neji and Naruto arrive there in only fifteen minutes with Neji and Sasuke sweating only slightly and Naruto not even breathless. "How are you not tired?" Demanded Neji of Naruto.

"Don't they always say the smaller ones are even faster… anyways I run a lot. Don't you guys?" Naruto said oh, so innocently.

"Hn."

"No not really." Neji said, "I mainly focus on reflexes and short distance speed to go with my family's taijutsu—"

"The gentle fist." Naruto finished for him.

"Yeah." Neji said lamely realizing Naruto probably didn't need a long winded speech on what was necessary for the Gentle Fist.

Kakashi cleared his throat, "I have one small bell," Kakashi said indicating the bells tied to his weapon's pouch. "Your challenge is to steal these from me before sunset, which is in about two hours. There is only one bell so only one of you will pass. The two other people will be sent back to the academy. You can use ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu and weapons. Come with me with the intent to kill. You may start…" Kakashi glanced up into the sky and said 'Now." They were very suddenly gone. Hmmm, good stealth… that's strange I only sense two of them. Sasuke and Neji?

Suddenly there was a tap on Neji's shoulder, Neji spun around almost hitting Naruto's chakra node, but quicker than Neji's eyes could follow he leapt backwards. "Neji do you know what the real meaning of this test is about?"

"Real meaning?" Neji asked with confusion.

"Only ten people will pass, why only ten? Why not eleven or thirteen? And why only two bells? Isn't this a test of skill or is it something more?"

"More?" Neji said confused, his brow furrowed as he thought.

"Neji, go talk to Sasuke before he attacks. He's by that bush," Naruto said pointing to a bush on the opposite side of them. Two heads could probably figure it out faster. I know Sasuke and Sasuke will not listen to me. He thinks I'm an idiot and he lets his rage control him. I'm going to distract Kakashi so Sasuke doesn't have an opportunity right now." Neji nodded and began to move away as Naruto quickly called, "Hurry, Sasuke is getting ready for battle!" Neji took off at a run.

Kakashi took a step towards the bush he felt Sasuke's chakra flare up behind, pulling out his little orange book. However as he raised the book to his face, everything began to blur as his depth perception went chaotic he took a staggering step forward and nearly fell. Very good Naruto, genjutsu But not good enough. Kakashi said dispelling the technique. He saw two Bushins heading his way and sighed, Are you one trick pony Naruto focusing on only genjutsu.

Oh how he was wrong. Kakashi softly tapped the Bushin knowing the amount of pressure to put on it before it disappeared. Unfortunately his hand came into contact with two solid clones; one of which managed to hit a pressure point in his left forearm rendering his left hand useless. Kakashi quickly blocked and made the four other clones disappear with taijutsu. Uncovering his Sharingan eye he suddenly found himself surrounded by at the very least thirty Kage Bushins all of which were hidden under an invisibility genjutsu, which only became visible with the Sharingan. Knocking one down two more sprung up. What is this? This is not the Kage Bushing, ever time I take one down two springs up! And a) I don't see the real Naruto b) I can't use ninjutsu now.

Meanwhile… Sasuke and Neji came to the same conclusion 'TEAMWORK!' Though this was after, much arguing. Abruptly Naruto appeared, "Hey guys come up with a plan yet?"

"Well, you certainly didn't help us so—"

"Actually Sasuke, Naruto was the one, who told me to analyze it. We were just thinking about telling Kakashi-sensei it was teamwork—"

"That's not going to work. That only emphasizes our brain power, not our teamwork. So I suggest we come up with a plan and fast." Naruto said hurriedly.

"Naruto do you know which types of ninjutsus Kakashi-sensei does?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"That's irrelevant right now."

"No it's not!" Growled Neji and Sasuke.

"Actually it is considering that he just underestimated me and I was able to render his left hand useless."

"Right and I betrayed Konoha." Sasuke said.

"Don't believe me?" Naruto said smirking and gestured for them to stand up and peer over the bush at Kakashi. And so they did only to find their sensei throwing punches around in the air like a mad man, protecting his left hand from further harm. Sasuke particularly notes that his Sharingan was uncovered. This confused him, since the Sharingan can see through illusions. Naruto saw the look on confusion on Sasuke's face. Raising one hand to Neji's face and one to Sasuke's face, Naruto said "Kai!" Suddenly Sasuke's and Neji's eyes widened as they saw at least two hundred, solid Naruto clones decking it out with Kakashi.

"What jutsu is that?" Sasuke demanded.

"Well it's my version of the Kage bushin no jutsu—"

"An S-ranked Jonin level jutsu in which the caster multiplies oneself into solid doppelgangers, further advanced ones have their own chakra systems, which is an ANBU level technique. Naruto this number is unheard of and seven or eight takes a Jonin level chakra capacity. And you have more than two hundred… and they keep multiplying." Neji said, "How many can you make?"

"Well I have a medical condition that gives me an unusually large chakra reserve, the most I've done was about… one, two thousand.. I don't know my limit."

"What medical condition?" Sasuke hissed.

"It doesn't have a name, my case is unique, but if I don't dispel vast quantities of my chakra it becomes volatile and could potential kill me and those around me. To further explain, I am apprenticed in order to find a solution to this problem. If Neji were to look at my Chakra system right now he would see two very distinct chakras one red and one blue that are slowly merging naturally. Yamato-sensei will be merging them at an unnatural speed so my presence will not be harmful to others. Until they are fully merged I am unable to perform more basic techniques. I have great chakra control, but it's better to dispel more and faster with larger techniques. I'll happily share my techniques with you, if you two manage to pull up your chakra reserves. I'm sure you could both do one Kage Bushin now, but I want you to be able to produce at least twenty. Either of you up for it? I also have other techniques that no Jonin or rather ANBU turned Jonin can teach you."

After a short debate with his pride Sasuke nodded. Shortly afterwards Neji nodded as well, but said "I need you to focus on elemental jutsus more however. Will that be a problem?"

Naruto smile and said "Nope, I don't have a problem, but I must tell you that best areas I can teach you is genjutsu and taijutsu until you create higher chakra reserves. Is that okay?" Both nodded once more.

Sasuke refocused and said "Okay, I've got a plan."

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TBC

I'm posting this now, but I may take it down later for a more detailed edit. Sorry this is so short, but I found this would be a good cliff hanger. Also I'm on an updating role, so don't be surprised if you see more update of this tonight. And keep your fingers crossed for more updates to my other stories….

Well see ya!

-TK