Larry couldn't believe it. If he had stuck around for his class, he could have died. He could have been a victim in the awful shooting at CalSci. But he had been gone. He wondered why he was fortunate and Charlie had suffered while he walked up the steps to the Eppes home with Megan Reeves at his side.
Megan had decided it would be a good idea to have Larry come along when she broke the news about the identities of the shooters were. She had talked to Larry about the students, and Larry had confirmed her fears: Charlie knew them. He was the teacher of two of the young men, Andrew Kennedy and Jeremy Roberts. The other, he hadn't known. The one that Charlie hit was the one that he hadn't known, Marcus Reynolds. Jeremy was the one who had shot Charlie. He was in Charlie's applied mathematics class. Megan figured that maybe Larry to provide some emotional comfort if he was there when she broke the news to Charlie, since Larry knew of the students.
Charlie was down stairs after his nightmare. Don had decided to stay until after his lunch break. He would only be coming in a few hours late, and it wasn't like he didn't deserve it. He spent years without taking more than a day off. He had nothing to feel guilty about by staying with his brother.
Don was glad he decided to stay when he got a call from Megan that she was coming over to talk about the shooters with Charlie. His brother had yet to give his statement, and Don had a feeling that Charlie knew who the shooters were. Don would stay to make sure his brother was okay, if nothing else.
Megan knocked gently on the door and waited for Don to come. She wasn't sure if Don had told Charlie what was about to happen or not, and when she saw the worry on his face, she assumed he hadn't.
"Come on in," Don said, trying to keep emotions out of his voice. However, by doing that, Megan could see what his true feelings were.
Charlie was sitting on the couch when Megan and Larry came in. He looked up and forced a smile, but when he saw the seriousness on Megan and Larry's faces, he feared the worst.
"Hi, Charlie. Mind if we talk for a while?" Megan asked, trying to sound cheerful.
"No. What's going on?"
Megan and Larry sat in the seats facing the couch. Don stood beside the couch, looking over everyone.
"I need to get your statement about the shootings."
"Wouldn't that usually be LAPD's job?"
"I thought it would be best if you gave it to someone on Don's team."
"Why?" Charlie looked fearfully from Don to Megan.
"Charles, they identified the shooters," Larry put in, unsure of how much more he could say.
"And? Who were they? What happened to them?"
"One was named Marcus Reynolds; he was the one you struck. But, Charlie, two of them were your students. Jeremy Roberts and Andrew Kennedy... They died."
"W-what?" Charlie stuttered, as he stood in shock.
"All three didn't make it. Two were already dead when the police arrived, and the last shot himself before LAPD could disarm him. I'm sorry, Charlie."
Charlie nervously paced back and forth in front of the couch. He covered his mouth with his hand as he paced. He tried to fight off tears, and his breathing became rushed.
"Why? Why would they do something like that?"
"Charles, take a deep breath. I know this is overwhelming."
"Do you?" Charlie snapped as he paused momentarily in his pacing.
"Point taken," Larry said, defeated.
"Charlie, I reviewed their history. They showed signs of suicidal behavior. LAPD searched the boys' computers and found emails about their plot. They were planning the shooting, and would make sure they all didn't survive. It was their way of committing suicide."
"But why? Why? Why didn't they come to me? I-I-I could have helped them! I could have made things better. If they needed good grades, I would have given it to them. They were good students!"
"Sometimes we never really know the reasons why, Charlie. Schoolwork can be very stressful, but there could have been so many other factors, as well."
Charlie couldn't listen to Megan. He paced, thinking back to the students. Should he have noticed something was wrong? Did he overlook something? Why hadn't he done something before?
"Charlie, sit down." Don moved toward his brother, prepared to lead him back to the couch.
"Don't touch me," Charlie growled, stepping away from his brother, his hands in front of him defensively. Don held his hands out and backed up.
Megan took out a notepad. "Charlie, how long did you know Andrew and Jeremy?"
"They... they took their first class with me last year. They were both in a seminar about game theory. Then they took applied mathematics with me this semester. Damn it, how could I have been so blind?"
Megan frowned, seeing how much Charlie was putting on himself. "Charlie, this wasn't your fault. You can't save the world."
"But I didn't even try!"
Megan sighed. Charlie wasn't being reasonable, and she wouldn't fight him. Not yet. "How were you in contact with them during the shooting?"
"Um, I hit Marcus, right? And then, one... one of them came from the other end of the hall and... my God, he shot me! One of my students shot me!"
Charlie doubled over, holding his knees. He wasn't getting enough blood to his head. He breathed in deeply. Soon he felt strong arms around his waist, keeping him up. Charlie closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing. Voices called out to him, but he couldn't make out the words. Megan came over and placed a cool, wet paper towel against his face moments later. Charlie leaned heavily into it, and he was led to the couch soon. He sat for a moment, eyes still closed. When he opened them, he found three pairs of eyes focusing on him.
"Buddy, are you all right?" Don asked, kneeling in front of Charlie so that they were level with each other.
"Yeah... I'm fine. Sorry about that."
"Don't be." Megan smiled. Larry sighed with relief, thankful that his friend was okay.
Charlie leaned forward and put his face in his hands. Don sat beside his brother on the couch, rubbing Charlie's back soothingly. Megan sat back down and waited, giving Charlie time to compose himself. When he did, she continued the questioning.
"What did the one that shot you look like?"
"He... he was tall, I couldn't see his face. It... it was Andrew. Yeah. Andrew is taller than Jeremy. It definitely wasn't Jeremy."
"Okay, good. I think that's all for now. Thank you, Charlie," Megan said a few minutes later. Though basic questions, Charlie felt drained. Reliving a nightmare wasn't the best thing in the world.
"Thanks, Megan." Don walked her to the door, leaving Charlie and Larry a moment together. He wanted to talk to her about Charlie.
"How'd he seem to you?" Don asked when they reached the front porch.
"Traumatized. I mean, he went through hell, Don. He's going to be okay, though. He's a fighter, like you."
Don smiled. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. If there's anything I can do, just give me a call."
"I will. I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"
"Okay. See you." Megan smiled and waved as she walked to her car. Larry said good bye as he walked past Don. Worrying about his brother, Don turned around and went back inside. He was even more concerned when he found that there were tears on his brother's face.
"What's the matter, Buddy? Are you hurt?"
Charlie shook his head. There were so many things he should have been, but he wasn't.
"What is it then?" Don asked as he sat beside his brother. Again, Charlie stood and paced in front of the couch.
"Why did I walk away from that shooting? So many of them didn't make it. I-I saw them, Don. I saw their faces as they... they just laid there. They stared, but saw nothing. They bled, dying. But they couldn't move. They couldn't be helped. They just laid there and died. Young kids, Don. Some of them only 18. And, I... I made it. I lived. Why should I be so lucky?"
Charlie covered his face with his hands as he paced. He couldn't take it. It wasn't fair. Why was he still alive? His students had just died. They still had so much life in them. How could they just end it?
"Charlie, sit down. You're going to hurt yourself," Don suggested calmly, reaching out to touch his brother's shoulder.
His eyes still covered by his hands, Charlie jumped away from his brother, tripping on a leg of the coffee table. Don reached out to catch him, and managed to lessen the blow of his brother's fall.
Charlie lay on the floor, crying. He held his injured side, breathing heavily. Don dropped down beside him, concern taking over.
"Charlie! Buddy, are you okay?"
Charlie sat up, looking at his brother. "Why did this happen to me, Don? Why me?"
Don's heart hurt for his little brother. He didn't know. "I don't know, Buddy."
Charlie leaned his head miserably on the top of the coffee table. Don reached out gently and moved his brother into his arms. Charlie sank into his brother's chest, letting Don's shirt absorb his tears. Don held his brother and comfortingly shushed him.
Charlie wasn't sure how he was going to recover from this. He wanted it to be soon, thought it would be, but it was a lot harder when it happened to you.
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The day Charlie feared came. It was the weekend before CalSci was to reopen after a week long break for the 21 students and faculty lost in the shooting. Don thought it would be best if he saw the campus again before classes resumed. That way it would be more private. Though Charlie agreed that would be better, he was still terrified of going back to CalSci. It would never be the same.
Don pulled up to the school and parked his large SUV. Charlie just sat in the passenger's seat. He wasn't sure he could move if he had to.
"Come on, Buddy. Let's go inside."
Don opened Charlie's door for him, taking his brother outside to walk to the main campus building. Since this was not where the shooting took place, Charlie felt okay. Don walked beside him as they walked through the hallway. The place had been cleared of any signs of the previous week's troubles. All glass was replaced and the carpet was new. He could sense what had gone on, but he tried to block it out of his mind.
Then came the hard part. The space between buildings seemed miles long. But as Charlie took the first few steps, the space closed in and he was already at the door to the math and science department building. How could he open the door?
The question was answered when Don reached forward and opened the door for his brother. He placed a protective hand on his brother's shoulder, pushing him forward. Tentatively, Charlie took the first steps inside, and the screams began in his head. He could hear their voices, fear-filled as the shots fired. Charlie stopped and shut his eyes tightly. He couldn't stop it. There voices took over his head. He opened his mouth to breathe, since it seemed very difficult to breathe through his nose. But opening his mouth didn't help either.
Don watched his brother's reaction. When Charlie closed his eyes, he came back to his side. He spoke to his little brother, but Charlie obviously wasn't hearing him. When Charlie stopped breathing, Don grabbed his brother's arm, shaking him back to reality.
Charlie opened his eyes and he breathed again. Catching his breath, he turned and looked at his brother. Don was watching him intensely, searching for signs of his true turmoil.
"I'm okay."
Don watched another moment, then nodded, as he saw the confirmation in his brother's eyes. Together, the brothers took each step one at a time. Charlie couldn't hear his brother still, for instead of having visions in math, flashes of the school shooting flared everywhere he looked. But he managed somehow to walk down the hallway. It wasn't until he got just outside his office that he began to lose it.
Looking at the corner of where the hallway he was in and another one connected, Charlie saw the young woman, shot down in front of him. He saw her bleed, eyes staring up at nothing. He heard the shot, knew they were coming for him. Blood splattered onto his face, as his colleagues and students were shot down all around him. Charlie turned, ready to run away.
But Don caught him. He had seen the fear-filled look in his brother's eyes. He had seen the reaction to just one simple area. It meant nothing to him, but to Charlie, it meant fear. But his brother had to get through this. He couldn't turn and leave now. They were almost done. Don grabbed onto Charlie's upper arms, holding him back.
"No! No, let me go, Don!" Charlie fought. He couldn't take it. He had to get out.
"Charlie, you have to do this! You have to!"
"NO!" Charlie pushed, barely escaping his brother's hold. Don quickly grabbed him again, and Charlie moved to hit his brother. But Don was faster. He held onto his brother firmly, and moved him so that Charlie was pinned against the wall. He couldn't let his brother run away from this. He had to face it, or he'd never recover.
"No, Don. No!" Charlie cried, pushing at his brother's hands, hands so strong that held him in place.
"Charlie, look at me. Look at me!" Don shouted loudly, forcing his brother to finally look at him once more.
When Charlie finally made eye contact, Don continued. "You have to do this, Charlie. You have to. Okay? We'll get through this. Together. I'm here, Buddy. Just lean on me, okay? I'm right here."
This time, Charlie gripped his brother's hand. He held it tightly as he fought off tears, looking into his older brother's face.
"Don't leave me," Charlie whispered fearfully.
"I won't, Buddy."
"Don't go... please."
Don cupped his brother's left cheek with his hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Buddy. I promise."
Charlie stared into his brother's eyes, trying to see if there was truth there. Seeing that there was, Charlie nodded. "Okay."
He took a deep breath and stepped away from the wall. Charlie's legs shook beneath him, but he managed to walk on. He had to close his eyes as he passed the blood-stain that lingered where the young woman's body had lain. Walking through the hallway, he came to the last one he had been in... the one where he, too, had lay bleeding.
Charlie stood in the middle of the hallway, staring at the space he had laid days before. The fear returned, and he couldn't help but look over his shoulder. It was where the man who had shot him came from. He wasn't sure how he was going to look down that hallway without seeing him, feeling like he had to fake death to stay alive.
He wasn't sure how he was going to still teach at CalSci.
Remember this story? LOL Sorry it's been forever! I wouldn't have taken so long if it hadn't been for school. Next week is finals' week. Ah! Wish me luck! I have the whole month of December off, so I'll try to make more time for stories, and probably will start my next long story. There's still one more chapter left, so if there's something you haven't seen yet and would like to, leave it in a review or message! Thanks!