I hope you've all enjoyed the first chapter, thanks to all who have reviewed! If you're reading this now, and like it, pleeeez review and tell all the ff7 yaoi fans to read as well.

Cheers! TwilightElegy

Chapter II: Thoughts

I'd been working for the Shinra Electric Power Company for about half a year when I first met Rufus Shinra, the then Vice President. Sure, I'd heard a lot about him, thanks to workplace gossip, but I'd never actually met the man in the flesh. And to be honest, the man I actually did meet was totally different to the man that all the secretaries described as, "Scary as hell!"

Office hearsay reported that Rufus was a callous, unfeeling man who would do anything to get what he wanted, regardless of who he had to use to get it. They said he was as manipulative as they come, using fear thoughtlessly as a method of controlling people, just because it required less effort. The scariest thing, according to the barmaid on the 61st floor, was that he wasn't afraid to make people "vanish" if they interfered with him. Most of his employees viewed him as an inhuman monster; a winter storm personified, and avoided him like the plague.

Guess that's why he always looked so lonely, huh?

So, naturally on the day I was summoned to the office of the White Devil (his rather colourful nick-name) I was absolutely shitscared. I kept on remembering the story of how people "vanished" because they had bothered him, and I kept on running through my memory, trying to find the moment I'd screwed up.

The feeling I had in my gut while I waited in the room in front of his office is one I'll never forget. It felt as if my stomach had turned inside out and was trying to digest the rest of my guts. To settle it, I puffed on cigarette after cigarette, until Rufus rather prim secretary told me put out "those awful cancer sticks".

Then finally, I heard his voice.

"Send the Turk in, if you will."

It was an odd sounding voice for a sadistic, inhuman frost demon. I had expected his voice to be loud and booming, much like his father's. But no, it was the complete opposite, Rufus spoke with a firm, tenor voice that had a musical quality to it, which made the man sound as if he was always singing. It was a voice that was filled with self-confidence, yet also a strange kind of bitterness.

"Ah, so you are the new Turk. Please be seated Mr…?"

"Um, Reno… just Reno…"

"Okay, just Reno."

I took a seat, "Thank you, Mr. Shinra sir."

"I prefer Rufus."

So I sat down, staring across at the man who inspired so much fear among the people of Shinra Tower; no, the whole of Midgar. He was young, at least a year or two older than me, with fashionably cut blond hair and eyes the colour of ice. He was dressed totally in white, which gave him a strangely peaceful appearance.

"Would you like a drink Reno? I've got vodka, scotch, sake..."

"Scotch please, uhh… Rufus."

Rufus poured two glasses of scotch, "Ice?"

"Yeah"

Rufus sat down behind his desk, sipping absently at his glass. I was too nervous to even consider drinking mine. He was staring across at me with those ice eyes of his, making me feel very unnerved. However, I returned his look- probably because I was afraid to look away.

"I think you'll be a fine Turk, Reno," he said after a few minutes had passed, "not many people have enough balls to look me straight in the eyes like that. And Turks definitely need balls."

The rest of the interview involved Rufus explaining Company policy and procedure to me, and was uneventful (even though I was still kinda scared).

"Reno, I hope we can be friends."

"Yessir, I do too sir." And then I left.

Funny how I was the only person who saw him for what he really was, a lonely guy behind the mask of a monster. At least, that's what I thought at the time.

As that Wutaian drunk had said, through experience we become wiser…

"I'm not lookin' forward to this, Rude, it's all just too bizarre."

Reno, smoking a cigarette while sitting on the edge of Healin Lodge's rooftop helipad, was waiting with his bald co-worker for Rufus to arrive, so he could fly the President to Junon.

Rude nodded his head, "He's one strange man, that's for sure. I mean, doesn't he understand that asking you to the Opera is kinda… fruity?"

"I dunno. Maybe he's tryin' to make friends. He always wanted to be my friend, you know. He said so first time we met."

Rude snorted, "You gullible bastard, he says that to all the new employees."

"But he does seem lonely," Reno mused, "and I am a pretty fun guy to hang around with, as you know."

"Whatever."

"I mean, maybe he's jus' not used to dealin' with people socially, he does keep to himself most of the time." Reno took another drag from his cigarette, "and besides, he's been pretty depressed lately. Maybe he jus' wants someone to talk to?"

"But why you?"

"Fucked if I know…"

It was at this moment that Rufus strode out of Healin Lodge's rooftop entrance and made towards the helicopter. He had obviously cleaned himself up since breakfast; for there was no evidence that he had been drinking the night before. He smiled cheerfully to the two Turks, both of whom gave him a quick salute.

"Right, let's get going."

Rude and Rufus got into the back of the helicopter, leaving Reno standing alone on the helipad. The redhead quickly finished his cigarette, then began to inspect his prized possession, his Shinra Mark II Attack Helicopter. After ten minutes of doing routine checks, he was satisfied that the 'copter was in top flying condition.

"Reno, hurry it up will you!" Rude called out before slamming his door closed.

Reno shot him a dark look, then he jumped into the cockpit, put on his headset, tested his microphone, and checked the controls and steering.

"Alright boys and girls, Shinra flight No. 123 headed for Junon is about to depart!"

"Reno, grow up."

"Sorry sir!"

"Its Rufus…"

"Uhhh… right…"

Rude gave the President an odd look.

"Okay, all set! Prepare for take off!"

The propellers began to spin, and soon the helicopter was airborne.

"Reno," Rufus' voice buzzed in the Turk's headset, "I don't suppose you'd mind flying past the ruins of Shinra Tower, would you?"

"Roger that sir!"

"I said: Call. Me. Rufus!"

Rude once again gave the blond a sideways look, however this time his face was clouded over with a thoughtful expression. Rufus was totally unaware of the bald man's scrutiny, for he was too busy staring at the back of Reno's head.

Reno swung the helicopter around Healin Lodge and towards the skeleton of Midgar.

Soon the Tower was in clear view, and Reno manoeuvred the helicopter closer to its rotting carcass until they were so close they could see the pieces of debris falling off it into the maze of rubble that was Midgar.

Shinra Tower, once the symbol of Rufus' godlike power over the world, was slowly crumbling, falling to the earth.

"That's enough Reno. Take us to Junon."

"Yessir… uhh, Rufus."

Two and a half hours after the two Turks had dropped Rufus off at WRO Headquarters, Reno was sitting at the bar of his favourite Junon pub, chatting up the new cocktail waitress, a Diane. However, none of his usual lines were having any effect on her and this left him feeling particularly low. She soon left to deal with another one of her clients, giving Reno a nasty sneer.

"Y'know, I think I'm losin' my touch."

Rude looked up from staring into his beer and shrugged noncommittally, "Maybe you need to go after a different kind of chick? You've got to be getting bored with the dumb blonde, slutty, one night stand type of girl. Go after someone with a little class and substance, or someone who has a brain inside their head."

"Okay… I'll do that when you ask Tifa out."

"Shut up Reno."

Reno laughed, "Nah, she ain't my type anyway. She's a little too snobbish for my tastes, and besides, I think she's not a natural blonde."

Rude shrugged once again, "I think Elena's right about you."

"Oh and what has Little Miss Perfect been sayin' about me behind my back? Nuthin' flatterin', I'm sure."

"She's worried about you; she thinks you're taking all the slander the Company's been getting to much to heart. It's not your problem, Reno, it's the President's, and he'll deal with it."

"How, by drinking glass after glass of vodka every night until he's so fucked up he doesn't know who is, or where he came from?"

Rude sighed, "Geez, loosen up man!"

Reno snorted, "If the Pres is gonna do somethin', he better hurry up and do it! He needs to get up off his arse and start to work again! I always thought he was a man of action! You know, 'let's get things done!' and all that shit."

Rude remained silent and Reno took another sip of his beer, musing over what Elena had said. How come she knows so much about what I'm feelin'?

Rude opened his mouth, but Reno cut him off, "I know what you're about to say, man, and you should stop right there! I'm not going, repeat not going, to his stupid fuckin' Opera tonight!"

"I think what you said before was right, by the way…" Rude said a few moments later.

"Yeah, and what was that?"

"About Rufus wanting to talk to you, and about him being lonely and wanting a friend. It makes sense when you think about it."

"You've sure been thinkin' a lot. Did it hurt?"

"Reno, don't be a dickhead."

"Why would the Pres wanna make friends with me?" Reno said, his voice suddenly becoming subdued, 'I'm just slum trash to big shots like him…"

"You're closest to him in age. Tseng and I are older, and Elena is way too young."

"So?"

"He probably feels comfortable around you. Probably thinks that he can relate to you, man to man."

"But we're totally different people! I mean, he's so cold and calculating, whereas I'm reckless and don't give a shit about society- I just wanna have fun! I bet you a million gil he would be a total loser when it comes to having a good time."

"What makes you think Rufus cares about society?"

"It's his job, doofus."

Rude shook his head, "So?"

Reno drank the last of his beer in one large gulp then got up to leave. Rude followed suit, leaving behind some gil for both the waitress and the bartender. By this time Reno had already walked out into the dirty main road of Junon, puffing almost fanatically on a cigarette.

"You're always lying to yourself Reno. You never want to admit the truth."

Reno turned around, "Rude, since when did you start talking so much? It's making me wanna punch you out."

"I told you I'd been thinkin'…"

"Well don't. It doesn't suit you."

Rude remained silent.

Reno sighed, "Rude, man, do you have any idea about how weird all this is? I mean, God, the guy practically asked me out!"

Rude scrunched up his nose in disgust, "You and Elena both jumped to that conclusion. Why?"

Reno scuffed his shoes uncomfortably, took a deep breath, then gave Rude a look of confusion, "Ever since I first met him, Rufus seemed kinda different than most people. At first I thought it was because he was just a cruel person, but as the years went by I noticed something about the man that I can't really explain. Its like he's a nice guy, trapped inside a demon's body. He's lonely, and sad. He's usually pretty strong, but I think all the stuff in the press has made him snap."

"Sounds like you think about him often, Reno…"

"Rude it's not like that!" Reno looked away, over the water, "its just that… I think that Rufus' bravado is just a cover, y'know? He's hidin' somethin'." Reno gave a rueful laugh, "it wouldn't surprise me if he just wants someone to love."

"Reno, I think you're wrong."

Reno raised his eyebrows, "You really have been thinkin'."

"Something about this whole "weak and sensitive" Rufus is making me feel uneasy. You know how much he likes to manipulate people. He's clever, and I think he may be trying to turn you into his next puppet."

"But you can't deny he's depressed."

"Yeah, he's depressed I give you that. But, you just watch your step, I think that its his depression that's leading him to do this to you."

"Do what to me?"

"I don't know yet…"

The redhead pulled out another cigarette to replace the one he had just finished, "Ahh well, it doesn't mater anyway, there's no way in hell I'm goin' to the Pres' shitty Opera."

Rufus Shinra stood at his apartment window, staring absently out at the way the last rays of the setting sun played across the now blood red sea. He was in the middle of reflecting back on his past, a habit that the once all-powerful man had taken to of late. As he delved into his mind, Rufus began to become even more afraid of the person that he had become over the years.

He knew that he was cold, he knew that he was cruel and he knew that his life up until this very moment had just been a chain of broken events, filled with inexplicable evil. Yes, evil was the only word that Rufus Shinra could find to describe himself, however, it didn't feel wrong to him. The blond man knew himself, knew his vileness, and revelled in it, even though it made him feel sick inside.

His bitterness was his armour, he had used his cold nature to create an impenetrable barrier around himself when he had been younger. As he had grown older, Rufus hardened his icy armour until nothing could penetrate it, he forbid himself to give in to his emotions, until he had no emotions left.

Over the years, however, something that Rufus didn't expect to happen actually happened. His armour turned on him, and like a parasite, began to consume the man who dwelled within it until it totally destroyed him. He became a creature who ruled by fear and whose touch was death. This was the source of his evil.

It became worse after Meteorfall, as he recuperated from his near death experience and his Geo-stigma. His armour took on a mind of its own, and began to control him, until he finally took a step towards governing it.

Rufus Shinra took a step toward Redemption.

It was this step that had brought him into his current desolate state, for now that he had experienced good, he sincerely felt the taint of his evil. He could feel himself being tugged at by the latent evil inside it, and he was fighting it the only way he knew how.

Rufus took a sip from his glass of vodka and looked at the ornate clock suspended over his equally elaborate mantelpiece. It was almost half past six.

What was keeping Reno?

It was time Rufus took control again, it was time for him to discard his armour and bare his person to the world. It was time for him to allow himself to feel.

And he would do it the only way he knew how.

He would destroy another soul, forcing them to go through what he had gone through.

Maybe he'll even make a friend…

Where was Reno…?

Reno came into his hotel room close to six o'clock and had a quick shower. He then lay down on his bed and turned on the television, for want of anything better to do. As he expected there was nothing on any of the stations besides news, and that was one thing the redheaded Turk didn't want to watch.

He was forced to admit to himself that he was bored.

Suddenly a commercial came on for the opera he was supposed to be seeing with his rather enigmatic Boss.

"Filled with magic, romance, action and horror, "The King of Youth" is the Opera for people of all walks of life"

Reno turned the TV off in disgust.

And then suddenly, his PHS rang.

"Hey Reno, its Elena."

"Hey babe, what's happenin'?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to know what you were up to?"

"Watchin' TV."

"But its nearly 7:30, you know that's when-"

"Don't even go there Elena."

Reno heard his female co-worker sigh on the other end of the line, "I found something strange under your pillow."

"Uh, what were you doin' in my room?"

"None of your business."

"So what was the somethin' ya found in my room?"

"It was a note, it says "The King of Youth is subdued by the King of Ox in every lifetime." And it's in Rufus' handwriting."

"Fuck, what was he doin' in my room!?"

"I think you should go to him…"

Reno let out a sarcastic laugh, "You kiddin'?"

"Look, Reno… I'm worried."

"Of course you are, Mom."

"Just, think about it…"

"Fine. Bye."

He hung up before she had time to answer.

Why can't they leave me alone? Reno thought to himself as he got up and went to flick through the magazines that had been left in his room by the handy hotel staff. Naturally, they were all about Travelling and Fishing, and to Reno, were as boring as hell.

Reno decided he'd go out and get drunk, so he went to look through his duffel bag for something to wear.

"What the fuck?"

Reno found a really pricey, tailor made black suit along with a matching white shirt and tie lying on top. There was a note pinned to the collar,

"Reno,

If you really think I'm a good person, I'd like for you to come tonight.

Rufus"

Reno looked at the suit, panic stricken, then looked at his watch. It was 6:15. He knew there wasn't anything interesting on TV and Rude was going to be busy tonight…

"Aww, fuck it! I'll go to his stupid Opera…"

NOTE: My Rufus appears slightly outta character... kinda. Just remember that the guy is very manipulative!