Stef-flashback

I moved closer to her slightly to reach the popcorn I told myself but I didn't believe it. I know why I moved closer, I want to be close to her. I want to feel close to her again. After we kissed I told her it can't happen again, that I was married and not interested, but we both know my words were lies. I want to kiss her again, to hold her again. It's just so complicated. Me and Lena have only been friends for a short amount of time but I have never felt this close to anyone before. It's just so simple with her, she makes me happy and makes me feel special. Those are two emotions that I haven't felt in a while. Naturally it only makes sence for me to be with her, right?

There are other factors that I have to take into consideration. Brandon being the main one. How can I take having a normal childhood from him? He can't have two moms. I can't just rip him away from his dad that's not fair to Brandon and Mike. Besides I'm not even sure Lena will want to be in Brandon's life. Also it's not fair to Mike to pretend to be happy with him again and then suddenly admit to being with a woman.

Then I would have to deal with my dad or maybe he will just decide that I'm not his daughter anymore. How am I suppose to deal with that? Why can't I just be a normal person for once?

"Are you ok?" She asked ripping me from my thoughts. I just nodded not sure of what I should say.

"What's wrong?" She asked not believing me.

"Is this wrong?" I played with my hands nervously and avoided eye contact.

"Yes you're hogging the blanket" she said pulling more over to her side.

"No I mean is what we are doing wrong? I'm married and I have a son, I shouldn't be doing this" I said as she turned the tv off.

"What's wrong with it. Mike doesn't make you happy and if he really believes that you two are going to work he's foolish. You two are only together because of Brandon. You are an amazing mother and you deserve to think of yourself for once." She said. She doesn't understand she's not a mother.

"It's just I can't just not think of him... You won't understand you don't have a child"

"You're right I would love to have a child though, one day hopefully." She would make a great mother that's for sure.

"All I'm saying is you are so busy being Stef the mother, Stef the wife, and Stef the daughter that you stopped being just Stef." She has a point but I can't just forget about them.

"Start thinking of what will make you happy instead of always thinking of what will make everyone else happy." She advised. I would love to but I just can't.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I just can't" I wanted to let her make me feel better, to make the world melt away. I wanted to feel loved again, it's been to long since I have felt like that. I just don't know what to do.

All I know is she makes me feel things I haven't in forever and I can't lose her.

Stef

I have lost my sanity. I have only kissed Lena once in the month I've known her and I'm about ready to lose my father for her. I can't explain my actions other than the fact that I need her. It's only been a month but I already can't imagine my life with out the beautiful girl in it.

"So what are you doing here?" He asked. It's not exactly like me and my dad were close. Normally if we're talking it's about Brandon or Mike or sports or something.

"I need to talk to you" I said quietly which got his attention.

"About?" He asked giving me a glass of wine, which hopefully will calm my nerves. I took a long sip hoping he won't notice my hands shake. When I put down the glass I played with the blue ponytail around my wrist. I know my dad can tell I'm nervous but it won't be long untill he finds out why.

"Me and Mike are getting a divorce" I said steeling myself for the upcoming screaming match.

"What? Stephanie Marie Foster you don't just get a divorce for any little argument you work to make it work" he said. Oh like he should talk when he and mom got a divorce I was only three years old. I bet he didn't work to make it work. He didn't fight for my mom. He didn't try to make things right after he messed things up.

"Oh right because you know so much about divorce don't you." This sounds so much like fights we had when I was a teenager. I took another sip of wine as I released the ponytail from my fingers causing it to hit my skin and giving me a small pain on my wrist.

"We are not talking about me we are talking about you." Oh so I'm not doing what he wants and he turns it back around. Typical.

"Oh yeah because you know so much about me. You don't know what's going on between me and Mike. We tried to make things work, a lot more than you and mom did..." I started but since I brought his failed marriage into it again he has to get defensive and interrupt.

"You don't know why we got a divorce..."

"Right, neither do you." I said smirking.

"You don't know what's going on between me and Mike. We aren't happy together anymore. I'm sick of being unhappy to please you. I know that it's best for Brandon that me and Mike are not miserable together" I downed the rest of the wine hoping to get some "liquid courage" as Mike would say.

"Dad I'm a lesbian... and I'm done hiding it." Those words are the hardest words to say.

"You have a son to think about, Stephanie." He yelled.

"You don't think I have thought about him..." I yelled back offended by how my dad assumes im a terrible parent.

"No I don't!" He yelled back.

"Trust me I have thought about him and I realized he's not going to be ignorant to the fact that his parents aren't happy together for long." I yelled back trying to make my point.

"So being a single mother is better for him?" He questioned. I wish I had more wine, but I guess it's for the best since I have to pick up B after this. 'Brandon, just focus on Brandon' I told myself.

"It's better than having both his parents miserable besides I might not be a single parent." I added knowing this won't help matters.

"I met some one and her name is Lena Adams and I love her..." I said for the first time. I love her, I really love her. I've never loved anyone like I love her.

"You can't..." He started to tell me I can't raise my son with another girl but I stopped him.

"You can't tell me what to do with my life anymore." I said slamming the door behind me. I have been unhappy for years to please my dad and that stops today. Im going to think about B by thinking of myself for once. Not Stef the daughter im thinking about the Stef that I forgot existed. Just Stef and doing something to make me happy for once. I smiled sadly,'I'm finally living my life right and I'm not going to let anyone change that.'

hey what do you think. Next chapter Mike and then I'll get back to one shots. If you have any suggestions for a one shot either leave it in the reviews or message me.