The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show

by Empress Tansy

Yellowfang, in her retirement, has decided to start a talk-show about motherhood. She's hired Nightcloud as her crazy, often annoying co-host, and together they interview mothers, fathers, kits, and their sons. Occasionally they review books and movies. Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of hashtags, singing, and attacks. Nightcloud is a very problematic co-host. Enjoy!

2. Gender-Blender

Episode 2: Gender-Blender

Nightcloud danced onto the stage, twirling around in a pink tutu. "Welcome to The Nightcloud and Yellowfang Show!"

Yellowfang followed her co-host, grumbling. "You mean The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show!"

"Whatever," Nightcloud shrugged. "Anyway, we have a great show planned for today."

"We have a very special guest on the show to talk about her kit!" Yellowfang added.

Nightcloud nodded. "Please welcome Bluestar to the show!"

Bluestar padded onto the stage, flashing a brilliant look at the audience. "Thank you for having me."

Yellowfang sat down on her red chair. "So, Bluestar, we want to talk about your kit today."

"Do you mean my noble son, Stonefur?" Bluestar asked. "Or perhaps my perfect daughter, Mistystar, the greatest leader the Clans have ever seen?"

Nightcloud shook her head, looking perplexed. "No...we want to talk about Mosskit."

"Why do you want to talk about her? She's dead!" Bluestar reminded Nightcloud.

Yellowfang gave Bluestar an odd look. "Are you sure Mosskit's a she?"

"I'm pretty sure Mosskit's a he," Nightcloud meowed.

"Are you suggesting I don't know if my own kid's a boy or a girl?" Bluestar spat.

Yellowfang nodded. "Well...there seems to be some confusion about Mosskit's gender."

"Mosskit is a girl!" Bluestar growled.

Nightcloud shook her head. "Boy!"

"Girl!" Bluestar insisted.

"Will you two be quiet?" Yellowfang asked, sighing heavily. "We have more to talk about."

"Right," Nightcloud nodded. "Like how my Breezykins is better than Mosskit!"

"He is not!" Bluestar yowled.

"Is too!"

"BE QUIET!" Yellowfang screeched. "Besides, I think we all can agree my Broken-baby is the best."

Bluestar rolled her eyes. "You both raised horrible kits!"

"You don't get to judge us," Nightcloud hissed. "You gave your kits up! Mosskit died because of you."

"Yeah!" Yellowfang agreed. "At least I got to watch my son grow up!"

"Mosskit still turned out better than Breezepelt or Brokenstar," Bluestar growled.

Nightcloud stood up from her seat, her tail lashing angrily. "You don't even know your own kit's gender!"

"Girl!" Bluestar spat.

"Boy!" Nightcloud shrieked.

"Girl!"

"Boy!"

Bluestar leaped at Nightcloud, bowling the black she-cat over. The cats rolled around the stage in a ball of blue and black fluff, loud screeches erupting from the ball of fur.

Yellowfang sat quietly, watching the two she-cats fight. "I wish I had some popcorn," she muttered.

The camera-cat, Tansy, watched in horror for a moment before yelling, "That's it! Stop the show!"

Yellowfang stood up, sighing. "Next time on the show: One mother's hatred of her disfigured son."

Tansy gasped in anger. "I never approved Rainflower's appearance!"

"It's my show," Yellowfang mewed, shrugging. "I'll pick whoever I want to be on!"

At that moment, Bluestar pushed Nightcloud off of the stage. Nightcloud twisted around, opening her mouth to hurl some "interesting" words at her attacker. Tansy quickly shut off the camera before innocent kit ears would be damaged forever.