I will admit that I'm not usually the most merciless person. You know that. You're used to it. But Stan was different. I had known him for basically as long as I can remember. Sure, I may have hated him. That didn't mean I always did. Stan was actually very tolerable most of the time.
Or at least that's what I thought. Until my party.
It was my seventeenth birthday. I had wanted a simple party with just you, Kenny, and maybe Butters. Stan's invite was "lost in the mail". Unfortunately, that's not how it ended up. Butters had told Craig all about the party, who in turn invited the whole school.
Including Stan.
I honestly didn't mind. Sure, it completely ruined any chance I had of getting into your pants, but at least it was more fun than it would have been.
There was alcohol and loud music and horny teenagers. Typical high school party. At one point, I'm pretty sure Butters and Wendy were making out on my bed.
It all went downhill the moment I entered my mom's room.
There was you.
And Stan.
On the bed.
Naked.
From what I can recollect (Hey, it was my birthday. Of course I was drinking quite a bit) I pulled the two of you apart and forced you out. Then I went downstairs and forced everyone else out.
Some party host I am, huh?
I then went to my underwear drawer, and pulled out a pair of old rolled-up boxers. I unrolled them and pulled out a knife.
I put on a ski mask and some gloves before wiping my fingerprints off the knife and heading to the familiar home of Stan Marsh.