A week later…
"So this is where you've been cooped up"
I turn around, dropping my book. "Vali…of course"
Vali smirks as he begins palming through the books scattered throughout my apartment.
"Really, Ayn Rand? Objectivism is…"
"Bullshit. Read it for kicks," I reply, not even bothering to make eye contact.
"Ara ara, A Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right; what's with the sudden interest in philosophy dear rival? Oh, and Das Kapital as well? You've really been busy this past week."
I sigh. As soon as I woke up from my fainting in the clubroom, I had teleported myself out. I can't deal with that right now. Rias, the other girls, I don't know what to feel. I needed some time to myself.
"Why are you here Vali?" I grit out as I snatch back my copy of Utopia from the blonde, not caring that his smirk only seemed to grow at my actions.
"Why? Well, I came to check up on my dearest rival. Your friends are also really worried about you. Especially your master"
I can't help but become angry. Vali isn't stupid; he must know by now that I've surpassed him in strength. Why does he continue to taunt me? Does he have a death wish?
"She… she got back her evil pieces. Sh-she is no longer my…master"
It's getting harder to breathe. Even after a week, I can't face anyone. I can't face betrayal. I can't face being treated as an inferior.
Vali's demeanor softens. Even if Vali is a battle maniac, in the end, he still sees me as a rival. A peer, something I can't say about all my supposed friends.
"I heard your memories are incomplete. I'm sorry rival, it seems like you've lost a lot. I do care about your wellbeing you know."
Tears threaten to well up within me, but I force myself to make eye-contact for the first time in a week. Vali's eyes are so soft. I needed this; I needed to feel like somebody cared.
"I-I I don't know what to say Vali," I choked out.
"You're incredibly strong Issei, and I'm not talking about your strength as the Sekiryuutei. You're will is awe-inspiring. Your courage in the face of even the greatest enemies makes even me a little envious. You are definitely worthy of being my rival"
Tears pour down my face. Of all the people I expected to try and come help me, Vali wasn't a distant possibility. But to hear these genuine words from even my rival makes me feel a little more whole again.
"Issei, there is something I do need to tell you"
I wipe my tears and look up; Vali's eyes have turned serious again.
"Even if you have returned your evil pieces to your master, in the eyes of Devil law, you are still considered the property and responsibility of Rias Gremory. In other words, you are still technically a part of her peerage. If she declares you a stray, you are a stray."
I nod. I'm fully aware that the devils may come for me. It does not matter; none of them can match the strength of the Sekiryuutei combined with Albion. Of course that is assuming they can even find me.
I close my eyes and project a memory…
/FLASHBACK/
[Don't do this Issei…]
"Shut up Ddraig. I need time alone at the very least. Don't I deserve freedom and a little bit of peace!? I fought tooth and nail, put my life on the line for her-"
Will you die for me?
I choke, my hands shaking violently at Raynare's voice.
[Issei, it appears that I cannot reason with you. I am your partner and I will stand by your side, even under these circumstances. But even I have my limit. I will delve into your sacred gear and learn what I can about your new abilities and sort out my own thoughts. Please don't do anything rash, Partner]
I nod an affirmative. Ddraig seems to have finally accepted my choices.
It's around twelve thirty, the end of the lunch period at school. A few minutes from now will be the start of the club time period. As everyone settled in, Akeno and Asia would bring out the tea. Rias would start the meeting with announcements. Perhaps they'd share a couple laughs at my expense…
My stray thoughts only serve to harden my resolve. With careful strokes of the pen, I begin penning a letter:
To the heiress of the House of Gremory,
Effective today, I renounce my fealty to you and my position on your peerage as your [pawn]. My grievances fueling this decision are many and I feel little need to list them.
But perhaps the greatest grievance is the lack of respect I received whilst a member of your household. Your clan has a reputation of treating it's servants with great care: I shudder to imagine the treatment less 'generous' houses inflict on their slaves.
It may seem trivial, but my heart has been shattered while under your 'care'. Not only you but the rest of your peerage has done nothing but toy with my emotions and feelings. Even as I put my life down for your house expecting little in return you still continued to see me as little more than a toy to fool around with.
Even I, your 'favorite and best' servant can only stand so much emotional abuse. You undoubtedly knew of my blind, unconditional devotion to you and your peerage. I loved all of you from the bottom of my heart. But, it seems to have not been enough.
You dangled a carrot in front of my face. Peerage! Promotion! But even after many feats from defeating a god to defeating the strongest youth devil, to fighting a rogue Grigori leader to fending off terrorists, I still remain a low-class devil. I can't continue such a lifestyle in hopes of peerage. I don't want to fight every other week of my life for decades or centuries. I'd die sooner than live like a battle maniac.
I guess I was naïve for assuming I'd ever be seen as a peer or lover by you Princess Gremory. I assure you I have no such delusions now.
I have no ill will towards you or your peerage. I'm tired of war and battle. But do not expect me to ever show my face to you ever again.
Enclosed in this letter are your evil pieces. I'm sure that with four mutation pieces you'll be able to find a 'suitable' replacement for me.
Signed,
Hyoudou Issei
/ENDFLASHBACK/
"Wow," whispers Vali. "I never knew you felt that way…"
"No one did," I gritted out. "And nobody bothered to know"
"I'll take my leave then, rival. Take care, and I hope you find peace," says Vali as he hands me a letter. I take it without thinking, but Vali's already gone by the time I find the words to ask about the letter.
o.0.o
/FLASHBACK RIAS POV/
…'suitable' replacement for me.
Signed,
Hyoudou Issei
"No…no…th-this can't be…"
Azazel, Akeno and Grayfiya sit by me with grim expressions. Although I had insisted to read the letter by myself in private, Sirzechs insisted I read it with others to make sure I didn't do anything rash. In hindsight, that seems like a good decision. I feel like dying right now.
"Lady Rias, I'm sure this has to do with what Ddraig said," Grayfia tried to comfort me as tears flowed down my eyes. Akeno seemed even worse for wear than me, her eyes hollow as the letter's meaning finally hit home. Even Grayfiya had abandoned her usual stoicism.
"Ddraig did say that Issei has suffered some sort of memory loss," muttered Azazel.
I barely listen to them as I desperately search for something, anything in the letter that might provide me with hope.
I guess I was naïve for assuming I'd ever be seen as a peer or lover by you Princess Gremory. I assure you I have no such delusions now.
"…if we find him, we may be able to restore his memories…"
"…unfortunately he's stubborn- it may be difficult to…"
…do not expect me to ever show my face to you ever again.
"…should we try to send a retrieval squad? He is the Sekiryuutei, but he is a stray by Devil law…"
"… are you crazy?! Even the best squads can't hope to subdue Issei. You'd have to send a Maou! Or even all four!..."
"NO! I love Issei, no matter what he does…He will always be a part of my household- I will not degrade him into a stray!" I cry out. I will not hurt him further. I won't allow anyone to hurt him anymore…
"Rias, you have to face the facts…" started Azazel, but Sirzech's sudden appearance interrupted him.
"Sirzechs…I thought you were busy with business in the Underworld?" asked Azazel as he squeezed the bridge of his nose.
"That business is directly tied to this matter, in the sense that I've convinced the council to give Issei peerage"
Azazel laughed, "That won't do anything. The boy is completely different now. His aura, his mind-set; we were all idiots for not realizing any of this sooner"
Azazel glanced around the room only to see our blank stares and my dead eyes.
"You guys really don't get it do you? This isn't merely a memory problem or a Peerage problem. Issei is broken. WE broke him. We forgot that he has needs just like the rest of us. And now we're paying for it."
Akeno's eyes droop at Azazel's harsh words. Tears continue to drip down my face.
I didn't know Issei was hurting so badly…I didn't know all the fighting and battle had been getting to him…
I didn't know that he didn't feel respected or loved…
He saved us time and time again… but we couldn't save him.
/ENDFLASHBACK/
o.0.o
/ISSEI's POV present time/
"The seals of Sirzechs and the Seraph Michael," I muttered to myself, "what do they want…"
Nevertheless, I open the letter.
Dear Issei
We have begged for Vali to deliver this letter to you. He, for one, was against it, but please, hear us out.
We know you're in pain, we know you're missing memories. So please, let us help you.
We have the best memory techs and psychologists on standby. Just come back to us and we'll accept you with open arms. We'll forget about your letter to Lady Rias and even give you what you've desired for so long: Peerage and a title as a high-class devil.
As a token of goodwill and compassion, we've enclosed-
I stop reading.
I won't stand for this bullshit anymore.
They don't even have the decency to respect my decisions.
I shamelessly take pleasure in burning the letter.
A/N: Damn this chapter was angsty. Don't worry, Issei will get better. But it's going to be a long and painful process as people slowly convince him that he is, in fact, loved.