.:Chapter 02 – Emerald:.
"And this is my room…"
"Katie, I've been here before, remember? For Christmas when you all dragged us here."
"Oh, you loved it and you know it."
Kendall smiled to himself as he dragged his suitcase into his room, listening to Katie and Riley as Katie showed the older teenage girl where to put her stuff. He shuffled into his room and dropped his suitcase to the floor before gently placing his guitar case on the bed. He yawned loudly, the almost four hours flight had left him exhausted and he still had more bags to bring in as well as setting up his room again. Most of his stuff had been taken and put into storage when they had gone out to LA, but he still had enough to make his room still feel like his own space. Not that he didn't mind sharing a room with Logan, that was cool, and it was a good way to get his homework done whenever he was in a bind, but he still missed his room.
He missed his home.
LA could never compare to Minnesota.
He ran a hand over his face as he walked out of his room, towards the stairs. He stopped by Katie's room and laughed to himself when he saw that she was sitting on her bed, waiting for her computer to boot up. All of her bags were scattered around her room untouched. It didn't surprise him that she was so frantic to get connected to the internet if she wasn't obsessively checking her stock reports; she was looking at her bookmarked websites about finances, looking for new talent to try and become the manager of, checking out her ScuttleButter, or looking at videos on Netflix or YouTube. But he had to guess that she was either trying to see if she got some e-mail from her best friend, or from her boyfriend, Patrick, one of Riley's younger brothers.
It was hard for him to come to terms with the fact that Katie was growing up and that she was interested in more things than comic books and tagging along with him like she used to. He didn't really mind that she dated, he knew it was going to happen eventually, but that didn't mean that he couldn't still protect her the best way that he could while he was still able to. Kendall turned from Katie's doorway and went down the hall towards the staircase. At the top, he stopped and laughed to himself when he saw Riley struggling to pull her suitcase up the stairs. She had her back to him and was bent over, holding onto a handle. Every few seconds, she would pull the handle back towards her, slowly taking a step closer to the top.
"Do you need help?" Kendall leaned against the banister, looking down at her.
Riley flipped her hair out of her face as she tilted her head back to look at him. She looked at him for a long moment before looking back down at her suitcase. "No, I don't need help!" She said sharply, pulling it up the rest of the stairs. "Not from you anyway," she added under her breath.
Hurt flashed through Kendall's eyes. She was his best friend and he was well aware of the fact that she would say the first thing that came to mind. She was never one to spare her opinion about something and that was something that he really admired about her. But when it came to how angry she was at him, it just made him feel like crap. Kendall reached out a foot and moved it in her way, effectively blocking the suitcase from moving.
"I'm sorry for suggesting that you come here with me, Mom, and Katie. I know that you would have rather stayed with your brothers and sister on vacation together. But I think it'd be good if you guys spent some time apart." Riley stood up straight, resting her hands on her suitcase, which she now propped up, listening to him. "Not that I'm saying that you all have to have a ten foot rock wall in between you at all times…" he tried a different tactic. "I know that you miss them, but-"
"I get it!" Riley interrupted her eyes flashing. "Thanks!" She jerked hard on the suitcase and Kendall quickly pulled his foot back out of the way before it got run over. She rolled the suitcase into the guest room, disappearing from sight.
Kendall shrugged and went back down the stairs and outside to help his mother get the rest of their things from the car. He lifted a carrier out of the back of the car and put it up close to his face. His pet pig, Yuma, pressed her snout against the metal bars that were against the front of the carrier. "I bet you're getting tired of being in there huh? Don't worry, you're home now." He grabbed a bag his mother held out for him.
"So how's Riley adjusting so far?" Mrs. Knight asked as she used her free hand to close the back of the car.
"Still mad at me, but that's no surprise," Kendall said. He flicked his head, moving his hair from his face. "Sometimes all you have to do is breathe funny and she gets annoyed." He shrugged. "But, I mean, I don't blame her. It's…whatever." Mrs. Knight continued to look at him funny. "What?"
"Nothing." Mrs. Knight lifted her bag and locked the car and the two headed into the house. Mrs. Knight left her bag by the front door and headed towards the kitchen. Kendall dropped his bag and then lowered Yuma's carrier to the floor. He unlocked the cage and watched as she slowly walked out, sniffing at the ground.
He let out a tired sigh as he flopped himself onto the couch, resting an arm over his face, the other hand resting on his chest. He was tired, but not tired enough to go to sleep yet. Though he was afraid that he was going to be up all night. He was used to working so hard that he got minimal sleep and worked for hours on end with Gustavo yelling at them whenever they did something wrong. He was used to being on tour and being on such an adrenaline rush that days blended in together and he would forget which day was which or which show was when or where. Now he was finally getting a chance to relax and he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it.
Something suddenly landed on his head. "Ow," he mumbled.
"There's no way that that could have hurt," Katie's voice sounded near him. She let out a shriek when Kendall grabbed whatever had landed on his head and threw it in the direction of her voice. "Ha." She laughed a second later. "Missed me."
"I'm not mad at you." Kendall opened his eyes to see Riley sitting on the arm of the couch, above his head. She was looking at her phone, slowly scrolling through something. He shifted his head, to let her know that she had his attention. "I'm not mad at you," she repeated. "Not really, anyway," she muttered. "I'm just frustrated at Ronan for suggesting that we try separate vacations." She rolled her eyes. "What a stupid idea."
He knew that was probably the closest that he was going to get to an apology for a while, he was just glad that she was at least talking to him instead of snapping at him. He never had a problem like that with any of the other guys. They'd get mad at each other, but hours later, they would be best friends, brothers again. But…she was a different kind of friend and one that he knew was more sensitive than she let on, and could hold a grudge for a while.
"Good to know." Kendall reached down and lifted Yuma up off of the floor. He set her on his chest and she started to walk up and down his body, letting out little snorts along the way. "Just so you know, I'm going to make it hard for you not to like it here."
"Good luck with that," Riley snorted. She then pressed a hand to her chin, feigning thought. "Why does that sound so familiar?"
"Well, do you need directions to get there?" Kendall asked and flipped to a clean sheet of paper in his notebook. He stopped and looked up when Rhuben forcefully grabbed his notebook and flipped it back to his original page. "I don't know why you're acting like this when I'm just trying to be your friend." He said, not seeming to take offense about it."I plan on making it really hard for you not to like me."
Riley sucked in a deep breath in her nose before placing her hands on the top of his desk. "Listen you large-eyebrowed-freak," She said in a low voice. "The last thing that I want at this point is someone who is trying to be my friend." Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. "And for whatever reason, I don't believe that that is all that you want to do." She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "Or that you're going to give up."
"It's because I'm not." Kendall replied with a short shrug.
Riley gave him an odd look before leaving the room with her siblings.
"You just signed your death wish, Riles." Katie laughed. Kendall looked over at her and shared a smile and a wink with her. "Now you know that he's not going to leave you alone until he gets you to admit that you love it here."
"How would that be any different from the fact that he already doesn't leave me alone." Riley put her phone away, lifting her head to smirk at Katie. "Or stop talking for that matter." Her smirk widened as Katie laughed harder.
Kendall frowned, reaching out to run his hand over Yuma's back. I came from the crib with my best buds, to a house filled with girls making fun of me all the time. That's great. Hearing his mother call his name, Kendall sat up and lifted Yuma in both of his hands, placing a quick kiss to her head before dropping her onto the floor. Stretching his arm over his head, he went into the kitchen and saw his mother standing at the refrigerator, frowning as she looked inside.
"You rang?" He asked.
"You mind going to the store?" Mrs. Knight turned to her son, closing the refrigerator door. "I know that we just got back, but I didn't think about how late the flight was and what time we were going to get back…"
"It's no big deal," Kendall said, holding up a hand. He scratched the back of his head as he thought about it. "I'll just go to Sherwood's I think I can still get a discount there." He gave a half smile. "I just have to be sure that I don't get caught by Mr. Stayton or else I'm going to be working the whole time I'm home."
"Maybe you should," Mrs. Knight suggested.
Kendall raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I mean, just so you can stay grounded while you're home," Mrs. Knight explained patiently. "You don't know how people are going to react now that you're back home. They might not see you as Kendall Knight the guy that went to Highland Park, the guy that worked at Sherwood, the guy that was a normal teenager that would help anyone that needed help."
"I'm still the same person, Mom," Kendall reassured her. "You're worrying over nothing." He held out his hand. "Do you have a list or something?" Mrs. Knight nodded and handed him a small notepad and some money. "I'll be back soon." He turned on his heel and went back into the living room. Katie and Riley were watching TV, intently watching a show that was on Investigation Discovery. Kendall walked around the couch and lightly hit Riley on the arm with the notepad. "Hey, d'you want to come to the store?"
"Why would I want to do that?" Riley asked, her gaze still on the TV screen.
"Yeah." Katie turned to Kendall with a mischievous smile. "Why would she want to do that? You know…" she looked at her nails. "Unless you have some specific reason of wanting her to go with you."
"Yeah, so I refrain from killing you!" Kendall grabbed a couch pillow and hit Katie in the face with it. He then turned to Riley. "Besides, I figured you'd like to see, and probably make fun of, the place where I used to work." He drummed his hands on the back of the couch, waiting for her response. After a minute, she stood up from the couch, brushing her hair behind her ears. Kendall waited until she was out of sight before turning to Katie. "Please stop that."
"Stop what?" Katie rolled her eyes. "Kendall, I'm trying to help you."
"No, you're laughing at me," Kendall contradicted.
Katie gave a disarming smile. "Not to your face." She crossed her arms over her chest. "What does it matter if I say anything? You already told her how you felt…kind of."
"Kind of being the operative words," Kendall reminded her.
"Don't worry big brother, I've got a plan." Katie adopted a evil smile and rubbed her hands together. "And this plan is even better than anything that I could have come up with back in LA. Trust me." Kendall looked at her warily and she smiled and shrugged in reply.
Kendall turned back around as Riley hoped down the stairs, tying a shoe as she went. She then leaned over the couch and grabbed a sweatshirt. Kendall realized that she had thrown it at him to get his attention earlier. She pulled it on and shoved her hands into the front pocket. Kendall held his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh; being in an oversized sweatshirt made her look like a little kid. She tilted her head to the side, looking at him curiously, and he quickly turned away, feeling butterflies erupt in his stomach.
"Come on." He led the way out of the house and the two started to walk down the street. "So the good thing is that our hometown is small enough that we can walk to most of the places that we need to go to."
"Like your high school?" Riley asked, looking down at the sweatshirt where in large, blue print it read: Highland Park Senior High School.
"Yeah." Kendall shrugged. "Our high school was cool, I guess. The hockey team was great. I never really liked going, the only good thing was that James, Logan, and Carlos were there."
"I getcha," Riley agreed. "I don't really like school either. I mean, I'm good at it, but I didn't like it much. The teachers back home…I don't know, some of them were just complete assholes and others just didn't really seem to care." She twisted her mouth to the side. "The uniforms were bad enough-"
"You had to wear uniforms?" Kendall asked with an incredulous laugh.
"And it's the one that you're thinking of." Riley concurred. "A button down t-shirt, long sleeved if it was colder. A blazer depending on the time of year or a regular jacket, a tie, a plaid skirt, and whatever shoes you wanted."
"That doesn't sound too bad," Kendall said. He adjusted his beanie on his head. "Though I don't think I could ever wear one and not be annoyed by it." He shoved his hands into his pockets of his jeans as they continued to walk. "I'm glad that you're talking to me now."
"Don't get too excited," Riley said dead-pan. "You're not off the hook yet."
Kendall chuckled to himself.
He lifted his head and looked around at the familiar buildings as he walked by them. He wasn't sure when he was ever going to be back there, other than the shows that they would have in Minnesota. It was the biggest comfort that he had ever since he had left for Los Angeles. His mother, sister, and best friends were with him in Los Angeles, so he didn't have to worry about being homesick. He never realized how much he missed it until he was back. There wasn't a concrete jungle around him, no skyscrapers, no crazy traffic, not having to worry about fitting in, or wondering if what he was doing was "acceptable" in the public eye. He was back home where things were the same as when he had left it. He looked harder. Everything actually did look the same. He frowned. Part of him had expected things to be a little different when he had gotten back, maybe some paint or something. But an even bigger part of him was glad that nothing had changed.
"This is the place." Kendall swept an arm out towards the grocery store that loomed in front of them. People were milling in and out of the store, carrying large bags of groceries or pushing their carts in front of them. "Where I worked for three years before agreeing to go out to LA with Gustavo."
Riley nodded.
"Just do me a favor," Kendall said as he grabbed a kart and pulled it out of the rack. He moved it back and forth a couple of times before kicking at the wheel. He then pushed it forward and started to walk into the store. "If you see a man that looks kind of uptight, let me know. That's my old boss and I don't want to have to get stuck working while I'm on vacation."
"You mean the guy that's standing over by that cash register?" Riley pointed.
Kendall followed her gaze and made a sound of annoyance before grabbing her arm and ducking behind a rack of food. "Yep, that's him. Mr. Stayton." He leaned over and poked his head out from around the rack before quickly ducking back again. "He's not a bad boss at all, he just doesn't take 'no' for an answer." He lifted the notepad and started to look over the things that his mother wanted him to get. "Ok, first thing we need to get is milk."
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Riley walked along beside him.
Kendall gave her a funny look. "It's milk, I don't think-"
"No, boofhead, I mean you being here," Riley said. "In this store. You guys haven't had to deal with it before…but once you become really famous, people back home don't treat you the same."
"My mom was telling me the same thing," Kendall said.
"Your mother's a smart woman," Riley said. She stopped, grabbing onto his arm, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes bored into his. "I'm being serious, dude." She pointed towards the ceiling. "Listen." Kendall listened hard and smiled when he heard Big Time Rush's song Windows Down being played.
"So?" He shrugged. "It's cool. I wonder what kind of radio play we're getting here if they have the song in a grocery store as small as this."
That was Kendall; he was the kind of person that tried to be as positive as possible. Even when things would blow up in his face or something seemed that it wasn't possible, he would continue to push along with what he believed in, trying to spread his positivity around as well. He figured it was one of the reasons why his friends always turned to him whenever he was in a jam. He usually came up with some sort of answer to a problem, or he was able to reinforce their beliefs and relieve their self doubt.
Part of him was sure that it was because he was trying his hardest not to be like his father. Whenever Kendall played pee wee hockey, his father would stand off to the side, pushing him harder and harder. While it did make him a better player, it was still weird for him. Especially since his father was close to getting to the NHL at some point, but then when he and Katie were born, it became harder and harder for him to be able to realize that dream. I wonder how things would have turned out if Dad was able to make it to the NHL, to realize his dream, just like me and the others guys are able to.
"Kendall!"
Kendall froze and slowly turned around to see his boss standing behind him, his arms crossed over his chest. Kendall glanced over at Riley before turning back to Mr. Stayton with a bright smile. "Hey, Mr. Stayton. It's good to see you. How're the kids?" He clasped his hands together. "My mom says 'hi'. But I've got some shopping to do, so if you'll excuse me…"
"I have something for you," Mr. Stayton said. He walked over to Kendall and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's only going to take a few minutes, I promise." He waved a hand, instructing Kendall to follow him. Kendall let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping, and turned to Riley. 'Told ya' he mouthed before following his former boss. Riley walked along behind them.
When Kendall entered Mr. Stayton's office, his eyes immediately moved to a large pile of mail that sat in the corner of the room. Mr. Stayton walked over to the pile and rested his hand on top of one of the tallest piles. He turned back to Mr. Stayton with a funny half smile. "It seems to me that you're a more popular employee than I thought."
"What?" Kendall blinked.
"All of this is fan-mail for you," Mr. Stayton explained. "No one knows your new address so they kept bringing things here, after they found out that you used to work here." He crossed his arms over his chest, resting against his desk. "Day after day I would get stacks of mail from fans, hoping that it would get to you."
"Told you," Riley said.
Kendall walked over to a pile of letters and sifted through them. The generic pictures and drawings and colorful envelopes stared back at him. He didn't have to look at them to know what they said; they were such big fans of his, they loved his music, they loved everything that they did, they loved that he was representing a little known city. He and the guys got the same kinds of letters all the time, so much so that, as much as he hated it, he barely read any of the letters anymore and just signed as many pictures that he could, just to send them back to the fans. He scanned the letters. The feeling of support was overwhelming.
"And this just came in for you today." Mr. Stayton caught Kendall's attention. He was holding out a large, flat envelope. "Apparently they knew when you were going to get back home."
Kendall hesitantly took it. When he read the address his eyes widened and he rushed to open it. His eyes scanned the sheet of paper a couple of times before he lifted his head. "This is from the All Star team. They want me to try out and play for them." He looked down at the letter again. "The last time I got this…was when we weren't sure that the concert was still going to go on." He ran a hand through his hair. "Wow, I can't believe this."
"Believe it," Mr. Stayton said. "Everyone knows that you're probably the best hockey player that the city has seen in a long time. You'd be crazy to pass up an opportunity like this."
That's the same thing that the guys said when it came to going out to LA. Kendall frowned as he looked over the sheet of paper again. "Uh, do you mind if I leave some of this stuff here and come pick it up later?" He looked over at Mr. Stayton.
"Sure," Mr. Stayton said. "You can get it tomorrow when you come in for your first shift." Before Kendall could even say anything, Mr. Stayton walked forward and clapped Kendall on the arm. "It's good to have you back, son."
"Wait a second, I didn't…" Kendall trailed off, shaking his head as his boss walked out of the office. "I really should have seen that coming." He scratched his head as he turned back to look at all of the fan mail that was waiting for him.
"So do you want a big, fat 'I told you so'?" Riley arched an eyebrow. "Or would you rather I just do a quick victory dance?" She pressed a hand to her chest. "'Cause I'm good with either."
"Either way, you're going to find a way to rub it in," Kendall said. He folded the letter and put it in his pocket. "C'mon." He led the way out of the office and around the grocery store as they got everything that was on Mrs. Knight's list. "I wonder how Mom and Katie are going to react when I tell them that I got this opportunity," he mused. "Either way, I'm going to have to practice a lot." He stopped and turned to Riley, who was looking over the candy section at the register. "Hey Riles-"
"No," Riley swiftly shot him down.
"You don't even know what I was going to say!" He protested.
"Yes, I do." Riley pursed her lips slightly. "You're going to ask if I'll go with you while you practice so I can tape you or whatever, just so you can see how well you're doing. Well you can forget it." She turned to him. "You can drown in that pond for all I care."
Kendall gave a half smile. "There's an indoor rink," he pointed out. "Besides, its summer, the pond is melted."
"Even better," Riley said with over-the-top enthusiasm. "You can crash into the boards and knock yourself out!" She accompanied her sentence with a enthusiastic thumbs up. "Have fun with that."
Kendall lowered his eyebrows and stuck out his lower lip, trying to look as pitiful as possible. "Please?" He asked in a small voice. The corner of Riley's mouth twitched and he clasped his hands together. "Please?"
"Come on, you know I hate the cold."
"Please?"
"No! And begging isn't attractive."
"Plllleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee?"
Riley stared at Kendall as he gave her the puppy dog pout. Her face then softened and she rolled her eyes, slapping her arms down to her sides. "God! I hate it when you make that face! I can't ever say 'no' to that face, it's so annoying!" She scowled.
"Where do you think Katie got it?" Kendall asked with a cheeky smile.
"Yeah, yeah…"
Kendall laughed as Riley grabbed two handfuls of Ring Pops from the candy rack and dropped them onto the conveyor belt for the cashier to run through with everything else that they had gotten. They grabbed all of their food in their bags and started to walk back to the house. A million thoughts were running through Kendall's head; wondering how the rest of their vacation was going to go, how he was going to be able to divide his time with his family, work, and playing hockey, what he was going to tell Logan, Carlos, and James, what was going to happen if he really did make the All Star team…and…and…and…
"Don't worry about everything that you have to do while you're here," Riley said, as if reading his mind. "You're going to do fine."
"How can you be so sure?" Kendall shifted the bags in his arms.
"How can you not?" Riley said simply. Kendall smiled. There was a stretch of silence in between them. "Besides, I can tell that you're worried and that you need support to know that what you're doing is right. It's why you're so anxious to talk to Mama Knight and Katie." Riley continued to speak, but lowered her voice so Kendall couldn't hear, but he still managed to catch it. "It's the ones that don't ask for help that are the ones that need it the most."
"And this is when Kendall was five," Katie said, pointing to one of the many pictures that lined the walls of the living room. She looked over at Riley, who was looking over the pictures silently. "As you can see, he hadn't grown into his nose yet."
"Katie!" Kendall warned from across the room, flipping through TV channels.
"It's not my fault all of your baby pictures are ugly," Katie said simply.
"Katie, leave your brother alone." Mrs. Knight walked from the kitchen to the living room. She leaned against the doorway, wiping her hands off on a dishtowel. She turned to Riley, who continued to sit on the edge of the couch, her head tilted back as she looked at all of the pictures. "Riley, is the guest room ok for you?" She asked.
"Fine," Riley said simply. She brushed her red strand of hair out of her eyes. "But, uh, the pillow is a feather pillow and I'm allergic to them so…" she trailed off, looking sheepish. "I don't mean to complain…" she said quickly.
"Don't worry," Mrs. Knight said with a warm smile. "We have plenty of pillows around here, I'm sure there's an extra somewhere."
"I'm sure it smells like Kendall, too," Katie said with a bright smile. She rolled her eyes. "Considering the fact that he has about twenty thousand of them on his bed." She shrugged. "Something about needing to keep his leg elevated and the squishiness of the pillows keeps him limber. I just think it's a bunch of superstitious hockey crap."
"Katie," Mrs. Knight warned again.
"That's alright, I like the way he smells," Riley said. She then gave a wicked smile. "If he smelled bad, I wouldn't hang around him at all."
"Thanks," Kendall said sarcastically. He put the remote down. "Do you need help with dinner, Mom?" He got up from the couch and grabbed onto his mother's arm, pulling her out of the living room and into the kitchen before she could answer him.
Yuma followed the two of them, keeping close on Kendall's heels. Ever since he had adopted her, she stuck close to Kendall, following him everywhere he went. She walked around the kitchen, sniffing at the ground, hoping that some food was dropped for her to eat. It was always funny to him, how much Yuma could act like a god, but she was much better than a dog. More cuddly, and he didn't have to worry about as much destruction around the house or the crib.
"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"
"Oh, so you finally want to know what really happened to your hamster?" Mrs. Knight asked.
Kendall paused. "No." A troubled frown slid onto his face. "What happened to my hamster?"
"Don't worry about it." Mrs. Knight laughed nervously as she waved a hand. "What was it that you wanted to ask?"
"Do you think that it might not have been a good idea to bring Riles here?" Kendall asked slowly. "I meant, I don't think I've ever seen her so unhappy." He ran a hand over his mouth. "It's the quietest I've ever seen her and she looked really sad looking at our family photos. And earlier today, I heard her say something that made me…kind of worried."
Mrs. Knight gave a weary sigh. "Honey, what you need to understand…what I can at least tell you is that Riley and her brothers and sister, before you met them, there were some things that they did that got them in to trouble. Riley and Rhuben especially. And Ronan thought that it would be a good idea if they got some time away from LA for a while," she explained.
"But, what's so different about being here in Minnesota as opposed to being in LA?" Kendall asked.
Mrs. Knight hesitated. "I can't say," she said. "At least not right now." She turned to the oven, sliding gloves onto her hands. "Now, do you mind setting the table while I get the burgers and fries out of the oven?" Kendall nodded and turned to a cabinet and started to pull out plates and glasses for them to use.
She watched her son for a little bit. She could see the worry that he was trying so hard to hide. That was the basis of his tattoo, the heart on his sleeve, sine he could never hide what he was feeling. She just wished that he wouldn't worry so much about her and Katie. They could take care of themselves and have been, especially with how much time that Kendall would spend at Rocque Records. She let out a sigh as she turned back to the oven. If Kevin never left, I bet things would be different around here. Not that she didn't love her life; she was so proud of the boys and everything they've accomplished, but she couldn't help but wonder how their life would have been different. She walked over to Kendall and gave him a gentle kiss on the back of the head, causing him to blush lightly.
"So, Mom, I got some really cool news today," Kendall said slowly. He started to set the table, walking around it in a circle as he put the plates and cups down. "I got invited to try out for the All Star team again. Just like when we came back here the first time, around the time of our first concert."
"Really?" Mrs. Knight's eyes lit up. "That's amazing, Kendall. I'm so proud of you."
"Yeah, but Mr. Stayton caught me so I still have to work," Kendall grumbled. "And with what little time I would have to practice before I get on the team, I'm not sure if I'll make it. And if I do what am I going to do about the guys. I can't be on the team and do Big Time Rush at the same time!"
"Who says you can't?" Mrs. Knight asked. She placed two large pans on the stove top before taking off her gloves and placing her hands on her hips. "Kendall, as long as I've know you, you have never been worried about an opportunity before you took it. Just like when you were offered to work with Gustavo the first time, it wasn't an opportunity you wanted, but when you realized how good it could be, you jumped right into it, both feet first." She studied him carefully. "Besides, I don't think that's what you're really worried about."
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Believe it or not, Mom, but my mind isn't always on girls."
"It wasn't," Mrs. Knight agreed. "Until you met Riley. And it's understandable; you two have been through a lot through the music industry and through your own relationships in general. If you were able to get through her being mad at you because you were so caught up in your own thing with Jo and Lucy, then you two can get through this, too."
Kendall frowned, unconvinced. He wasn't going to tell her about the fan-mail that he had gotten, not yet, anyway. He finished setting the table and called Katie and Riley into the kitchen to eat dinner. He didn't talk much during dinner; he was too busy trying to figure out what he was going to do about the All Star team. It was the biggest opportunity he ever had, but there were still a lot of things that were keeping him from making up his mind about whether or not he was going to take it. He had the support, he had the opportunity, and he had the drive for it. It was something that he wanted ever since he was four years old when he realized that he wanted to be on the Minnesota Wild.
What he wouldn't admit to anyone was that he wasn't sure if he was good enough for the team. He had barely practiced since he had gone out to LA, the dance training and work on his vocals took up all of the time that he would have used on it. All of the kids that would be his teammates would have worked non-stop since they were born and wouldn't take days off even if they were sick. Now here he was, going to throw himself back into it after, months, well, years away from it if you didn't count the few and far between charity games that Gustavo had set up for them. (And that was only after the guys had complained about the rule that they couldn't do anything dangerous, and that included hockey).
After dinner, Kendall put his dishes in the sink and went upstairs to his room to unpack his things. He looked around at all of the hockey trophies, medals, and posters that he had around his room and felt a surge of annoyance at himself. Since when was he the kind of person that would sit back and let things pass him by because he wasn't sure how things would turn out? Since when did he not put all of his passion and energy into things he wanted? He turned and picked up the packet of information for the All Star team, looking it over to see when the first practice was and at what time. Even if he didn't make the team, he was going to try his damned hardest at it.
And if all went well, he'd be able to get on the All Star Team, continue to work with Big Time Rush, and be able to finally tell his best friend how he felt about her.
And not particularly in that order.