There's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure, so strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing,
Loathing you
My whole life long!
—Kristen Chenoweth & Idina Menzel, "What Is This Feeling?"

There was something about Étoile. Maybe it was her perfect, full figure complete with an hour glass shape, or the fact that she accentuated it with the ever so tight cheerleading uniform. Maybe it was her long, mahogany hair that was so thick and shiny that it grabbed everyone's attention when Étoile turned her head. Maybe it was her bright green eyes that were so enchantingly deep that you could lose yourself just as easily in the sea. Maybe it was her face with her high cheek bones and plump lips that were almost always smiling. Maybe it was her voice, melodious and cheerful. Maybe it was her personality that was bright and joyful and made everyone want to be her friend. Maybe it was how genuine she always was when she was happy, honest, grateful or concerned. Maybe it was the fact that her parents were rich enough to send her to live in a private condo in the best part of the city. Maybe it was the fact that her older sister Noir was an up and coming model back in France. Maybe it was because almost every boy in school was so enamored with her. Maybe it was the fact that despite her air headed appearance, Étoile was actually quite brilliant, having bested or corrected Rachel more times than she would've liked to admit. Maybe it was the fact that every single teacher adored her. Maybe it was the fact that Étoile happened to be good at almost everything. Maybe it was the fact that she volunteered on the weekends at the soup kitchen and the animal shelter. Maybe it was the fact that Dick (who Rachel may or may not have had the slightest crush on) was very taken with her. Maybe. Maybe...

Or maybe it was the fact that there was just something that really pissed Rachel off.

Rachel loathed Étoile. There was just something about her gorgeous biology partner that triggered a deep, unadulterated loathing in her. It wasn't hate, though, Rachel had mentally clarified. Hate was saved for Misoun Korakas, CEO of Aionia Enterprises, who was rich enough to support Rachel and her mother, but chose not to. However, Misoun had decided Rachel's freshman year of high school to put aside $500,000 for her college education, either out of pity or mercy. Rachel hated him for it. Being her father helped none.

Either way, Rachel was in no mindset to befriend her lab partner and Étoile was completely oblivious to it.

"So Rachel," Étoile said, her French accent drawing out the "e" in Rachel's name—which Rachel hated, of course, "would you like to research and I write the paper? Or would you rather write?" Rachel scowled. Loathing Étoile would be so much easier (and reasonable) if Étoile would just be a bitch!

"Whatever," Rachel muttered darkly, doodling at the top of the assignment paper. Étoile either missed or ignored Rachel's snark because she smiled.

"Alright! I shall research because I know you hate doing research." The smile did not leave Étoile's face and a frown appeared on Rachel's. Why was Étoile so damn nice? Rachel would've convinced herself she was a fake, but Étoile had been volunteering to do any and all research they'd had for the first month of school. Volunteering to do research was definitely not fake. Not in high school, anyway.

Étoile stood, gathering her notebook and pen. She turned away from Rachel and walked over to one of the computers that Ms. Rouge kept in her room for the exclusive use of her Advanced Biology class. Rachel could practically hear the happiness in Étoile's steps as her shiny white tennis shoes tapped against the hard floor.

"Goddammit," Rachel growled. She scribbled out the beginnings of what might've turned into some kind of canine into a mess of graphite on her paper.

"Anger management, Rach?" She jerked back at the voice, looking—no, glaring—up at Garfield Logan who was grinning down at her. Her expression turned from bad to worse as she stood up. Rachel was only 2 or 3 inches taller than Garfield, but it made a difference, especially in high school. She stared down at him icily and his grin wavered. He chuckled nervously.

"Er...I'm coming Karen!" He called over Rachel's shoulder. Karen, who was at another one of the computer stations, turned around and began to holler back,

"I didn't call y—" she cut off when she saw the rather dangerous situation her lab partner and friend was in (as useless as he was) and amended, "hurry up, now."

Garfield had enough nerve to give Rachel a quick glance. "Hehe, gotta go!" He darted away. Rachel stood there at her desk, trembling with irrational fury. Having Garfield come up to her was the catalyst for Rachel's internal rage that was slowly bubbling throughout the day. Rachel stood, quivering in anger while the rest of her class were either at the lab tables or computers behind her, chatting and laughing merrily.

This pissed Rachel off even more.

Rachel couldn't quite pinpoint her irritation towards them. Aside from Étoile, she'd known all of them since elementary school. They'd grown up together. They'd watched each other change throughout the years and stuck together through it all. She was actually friends with Garfield Logan, as well as the rest of them. They all used to be pretty close.

Used to.

Then in eighth grade, something inside Rachel had snapped. She couldn't put her finger on it.

Maybe it was the fact that a man with the name of William Slade, who happened to be Misoun's business rival, had lured her unsuspectingly into his office.

And had raped her.

Maybe that was it.

For some reason, that had turned her against her friend. She shut them out. She stopped returning their calls and texts and after a while, they'd stopped sending them. Maybe, for some reason, she wanted them to hate her as much as she hated herself.

Stupid girl.

She'd managed to hold it all in. Then Étoile let out a laugh over something Victor had said that put Rachel over her boiling point. She whirled around in one, swift and smooth movement.

"Will you just shut the fuck up!" She shrieked. The room instantly fell dead silent. Her classmates stared at her in shock, none more stunned than Étoile. Ms. Rouge looked up from her desk where she'd been grading her sophomore class's quizzes. It was a slow, deadly look. Rachel's shoulders were shaking badly. She could feel her hoodie overheating her body. Sweat trickled down her brow and tears began to prick at her eyes.

"Out."

Ms. Rouge's voice was low and filled with venom. Rachel moved quickly, gathering her black messenger bag in one quick swoop and darted out of the room. She wrenched open the door just enough to fit her and her bag before slamming it shut. She could barely hear the slow beginnings of what was most likely gossip about her outburst before she turned the corner. However, before she could make her decent down the stair case that was around said corner, her bag caught on the railing, sending it and her down. Her bag went over the railing completely, its contents splayed all over the floor below. Rachel, on the other hand, had fallen victim to the force of gravity, stumbled down the stairs and slammed into the opposite wall.

After colliding with the hard surface, she winced in pain, rubbing her hands that she'd put up in an attempt to shield herself from the impact. The beginnings of tears blurred her vision and she slumped against the corner of the wall, barely making out her bag and other belongings scattered along the first set of stairs, the half-way, 180 turn platform that she had taken refuge on and the second half of stairs that continued down to the first floor. She was so focused on her breathing that she didn't notice the soft tap of tennis shoes.

"Rachel?"

She looked up. There was Étoile in all her cheerleading glory. Étoile's eyes were narrowed, her face creased with worry. Rachel's dark blue eyes were locked with Étoile's green ones as Étoile slowly picked up Rachel's bag and began to put all of her things back into it. Rachel watched in shock and horror as Étoile did yet another kindness to her.

When she'd finished, Étoile gently placed the bag next to Rachel before kneeling down next to her.

"Rachel..." Étoile began slowly, not wanting to upset the emotionally distraught girl beside her, "Rachel...are you okay?"

Rachel just stared at Étoile. Her arms were drawn in like a cocoon. She was extremely vulnerable and she hated it. Étoile's eyes were so full of concern and sadness that Rachel couldn't hold it in any longer. She launched herself into Étoile's arms and began to cry. Rachel's uncontrollable sobs wracked her body as the weight of everything that had happened to her during her 17 years of living crashed down on her.

Étoile said nothing, but simply put her arm around Rachel's shoulders and held her. She smoothed Rachel's dark hair that had gotten messy during her tirade. Rachel cried and cried. She cried for her mother and her deranged father. She cried for what had happened with Slade. She cried for her friends who she was sure hated her. She cried for her slow downward spiral and for the power she lacked in order to change it.

But mostly, she cried for Étoile. She cried for Étoile, who she'd been nothing but cruel to, had been nothing but kind to her.

A/n: Did that feel fast? Absolutely. However, Étoile is the type of person that would reach out to anyone that needed help, which Rachel desperately needs and I felt that after enough self-oppression and hatred, Rachel would be quick to take whatever help she could get.. Having Rachel's past taken a turn for the dark and typical...when writing, I felt that while some TT AU high school fics are either too angsty or too fluffy, adding that bit about Rachel and Slade would be counter-able to the fluff that is to come. Adding that bit with Slade added a dynamic to Rachel (in my humble opinion.) Much like in the book Speak. In this, I feel Rachel has some deep wounds and Étoile will, by the end, ultimately heal...but not before making a few of her own first (unintentionally, of course.)

Also, this is NOT a Dick/Rachel story. I just thought it would be realistic that Rachel would naturally develop a crush on him. Dick is so obviously crush-worthy, and I never said in the series that Raven never had some romantic feelings for him. However, my take on it is that Raven saw that he and Starfire were drawn to each other and she respectfully withdrew. My ideals are that she would eventually find love in Beast Boy. Not right away, though. Beast Boy/Raven (or in this case, Garfield/Rachel) is a couple that MUST develop slowly. Rachel (back to talking about the story) must take her time in warming up to Garfield, similar to how Raven took a while to befriend Beast Boy. Eventually, she will find that Garfield has what she needs (think of Katniss and Peeta versus Katniss and Gale...yay pop culture reference) as opposed to Dick, who only ever loved her as a sister—which was actually proved in the TTG spin off comic.

Noir = Black in French
Misoun = Hate in Greek
Aionia = Evermore in Greek