A/N: For the record, by the way, I've been writing this ALL DAY! I just want to play video games, but I gotta finish this chapter!

When the logo disappeared, they saw Ruby, walking backwards and talking to Weiss in a public park. Both seemed to be wearing athletic wear, as if they were on a jog previously. Ruby had a sweatshirt tied around her neck, hanging off her back like a cape.

"You're totally rambling." Weiss told her.

"Ruby does that from time to time," Yang teased. The real Ruby pouted, causing her sister to ruffle her hair.

"No I'm not." Ruby defended.

"Lost me." Weiss quickly shot back.

"How are you unfamiliar with the concept of nanoparticles?" Ruby asked incredulously.

"I'm not unfamiliar with it," Weiss huffed and crossed her arms, "I'm just unfamiliar with the logistics of it."

Blake's eyes widened, "Ruby is apparently schooling Weiss on something for once!"

"Hey!" Her red and white teammates indignantly cried.

"So you're unfamiliar with it!" Ruby triumphantly declared. Weiss just defeatedly shrugged. "Essentially, I have a few in here," she pointed to a large triangular device on her chest. And they can multiply themselves on an exponentially large scale, and each one has to be directed by a central control to do what I want them to do."

"What?" Jaune asked, way more confused than the onscreen Weiss was presently.

"It's not that complicated." Ruby shrugged.

"And you've lost me again." Weiss said. Ruby threw her hands up in a exasperation. "I just don't understand how these things can duplicate two million times over the span of about ten seconds, and without any errors in assembly!"

"I don't understand the confusion!" Ruby yelled at the screen. "It's a fairly simple concept!"

"One that we presently lack the understanding of to even begin to attempt such a thing!" The real Weiss yelled back.

"You know what?" Ruby asked, "It doesn't matter! You and Neptune are gonna have a nice dinner tonight, show off that Harry Win-stone of yours, and in due time, I'll be your Maid Of Honor."

"Heh?" Weiss asked in a rather humorous manner, looking over at Neptune in the back, who was intensely blushing. "In this, Neptune and I… are engaged?"

"Seriously, though," Ruby said, " I would be your Maid of Honor, right?"

"Well, first off, I don't know if I could ever see myself getting married," Weiss said, "And second, do you even have to ask?! You're like my only friends, who else would be my bridesmaids!"

Weiss chuckled heartily, but soon changed her face to a look of empathy "I'm really sorry about what happened with you and-."

"I don't want to talk about that right now." Ruby quickly interjected, her voice quickly transitioning into a warning tone, almost daring Weiss to push, promising that any further push would result in an outburst.

"Looks like Ruby has an ex!" Yang teased in a sing songy voice.

"I do not!" Ruby huffed, crossing her arms.

"No, yeah," Blake added, "you absolutely do." Ruby looked at JNR for their opinions. They all just looked at her and nodded. Her shoulders fell, and she huffed again.

"You still have your sister's temper." Weiss said with a friendly laugh.

"Ruby Rose!" Ozpin's voice commanded from offscreen, making the pair jump. Behind the man was a fiery and spinning circle, showing the same staircase Yang had crashed through minutes ago. "I'm Doctor Ozpin. I need you to come with me." Ruby was almost speechless. Almost.

"Doctor, eh?" Qrow nudged Ozpin with a chuckle.

"You'd be surprised," Ozpin simply said, straightening his posture as if to imply he actually was a Doctor.

"I'm sorry," she said, "You giving out tickets or something?"

"She definitely takes after her sister, all right." Maria chuckled.

"No, that's all Uncle Qrow right there," Qrow added, pointing to himself with a proud look on his face.

"We need your help." He gruffly told her. "Look, it's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."

"You have my attention, sir." Ruby gave her on screen counterpart her real thoughts, but her on screen counterpart had different thoughts.

"And who's we?" Ruby skeptically demanded, only to see her own sister step out from behind the Sorcerer Supreme.

To say Ruby looked surprised would have been an understatement. "Y-Yang?" She asked.

"Long time no see, it would seem." Ozpin commented with a warm smile.

"Ruby." Yang simply responded, wrapping her little sister in a hug.

It cut to show Oz and Port explaining the situation to Ruby. Port had created a visual demonstration, via magic.

"From the dawn of the universe," Port dramatically narrated.

The students all groaned, hating Port's lectures more than anything and fully expecting him to regale them with the tales of his youth.

"There was nothing! Then, boom!" A large, fake explosion appeared in between the two wizards. "The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals, hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence." The Five Of The Six stones of varying colors appeared on screen.

"Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind." Oz said, lighting up each stone to demonstrate as he said their name. Finally, he turned and opened up his Eye Shaped Necklace to show a green gem. "And Time." Against the Far wall, on a couch sat Ruby, very attentive to this all.

A sigh of relief swept through the theater. Scientists have always wondered, 'can you make teenagers weep tears of joy by ending a monologue consisting of exposition?' The answer is yes, as long as it is given by the worst teacher they've ever had.

"Tell me her name again." She simply said. Her eyes unfocused as she stared off in deep thought.

"Salem." Yang said. "She's a plague, Ruby. She invades planets, takes what she wants and wipes out half the population! She sent Torchwick. The attack on Vale. That's her!"

"It looks like that Salem is much worse than ours." Jaune said.

"That's assuming that Salem shares our Salem's immortality." Ren said.

"This is it." Ruby said to herself, "What's our timeline?"

"It's like she was expecting this." Maria noted. The others nodded in agreement.

"Maybe she was told a prophecy of something like this." Neptune suggested.

"No, dude." Sun told his blue haired friend, "Prophecies are lame. I bet someone told her that they were sending this chick to beat the brakes off them or somethin'!"

"That's the same thing!" Neptune annoyedly told him. The monkey boy, just kinda of waved his hand dismissively.

"No telling." Yang said, pacing anxiously all the while, "she has the Power and Space Stones, that already makes her the strongest creature in the whole universe. If she gets her hands, on all six Stones, Ruby…"

"She can destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt Of." Oz finished. Ruby nonchalantly leaned against a cauldron, using it to stretch as though she was content on continuing with her run.

"Huh." Yang simply said, remembering Ozpin's theory about the stones earlier.

"Did you seriously just say, 'hitherto undreamt Of'?" She quipped.

"That's eerily accurate." Oscar pointed out.

Yang shrugged, and so did Ozpin.

"Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?" Ozpin annoyedly asked.

"The what?" Jaune asked.

"You know!" Nora said, "The Cauldron of the Cosmos!" Jaune just gave her a blank look. "The Cauldron… From the Cosmos!"

"Oh, yeah…" Jaune said unconvincingly, " the-the Cauldron of the… Condos!"

"Is that what this is...?" Ruby asked in a condescending manner. Ozpin's cloak immediately reached out and smacked her arm, causing her to fall back into a regular standing position. Ruby looked surprised by the audacity of it, but then immediately offended. She straightened herself, wiping the offended look from her face. "I'm going to allow that. If Salem needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?" She asked.

"That's… a great point." Weiss said.

"I know," Ruby said, "I'm nothing but great points!"

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves!" Qrow put a hand out, causing Ruby to pout in an adorable fashion.

"No can do." Ozpin quickly said.

"We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives." Port continued.

"And that's another great point!" Ozpin shot back.

"Oz 1, Ruby 1," Blake said. Maria pulled her chalkboard back out and created a smaller scoreboard for Ruby-Oz Sarcasm off.

"And I swore off dairy," Ruby said, "But then, Jen and Berry's named a flavor after me, so…"

Maria put another one down for Ruby, waiting for Ozpin's response.

Ozpin looked down at his feet, "Rose Raving Hazelnuts."

"Not bad."

"A bit…" his face contorted as he looked for the right word, "chalky."

"No points awarded on that comeback!" Maria declared. Oz threw his hands up and Ruby pumped her fist of in victory.

"Burning Dragon Double Fudge is our favorite." Port interjected, causing Yang to do a double take beside him.

"That's a thing?" She asked, going ignored.

"Whatever." Ruby said. "Point is; things change."

"Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change." Ozpin firmly told her. "This stone may be the best chance we have against Salem."

Ozpin looked over at Maria, who simply shrugged and didn't give the wizard another point.

"And still conversely, it may also be her best chance against us!"

"Point Ruby!" Jaune declared.

"I'd like to make a request for an unbiased referee!" Oz told Maria.

"Request denied." The old woman told him. He deflated.

"If we don't do our jobs."

"What is your job, exactly?" Ruby hostilely and condescendingly asked, "besides making balloon animals?"

"Point Ruby!" Qrow declared. "Get shit on, Oz!"

Maria added another point for Ruby, as Ozpin just laughed and shook his head.

"Protecting your reality, bitch." Ozpin smugly told her.

Yang turned her head back at the real Ozpin like a woman possessed. "What did Fake you just call Fake Ruby?"

"Normally," Qrow said, "I'd agree with you, Yang and we'd take Oz over here out back and cave his skull in," Ozpin gulped nervously, "But Fake Ruby kinda earned it." There was a long pause as they awaited Yang's response. She laughed.

"I guess you're right!"

"Okay, guys," Yang suddenly interjected, breaking up the argument. "Could we table this discussion right now? The fact is that we have this stone. We know where it is. Penny is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone and we have to find her now."

"Penny!" Ruby happily said.

"Isn't that the girl who—?" Sun was suddenly cut off by RWBY's leader,

"NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED!"

Sun raised his hands submissively, scared out of his wits by the girl.

Ruby's eyes fell to her feet, "Yeah," she awkwardly said, "that's the… thing."

"NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED!" Ruby repeated, much louder this time.

"What do you mean?" Yang asked.

"Two weeks ago, Penny turned off her transponder. She's offline." Ruby admitted.

"What?" Yang incredulously asked, "Ruby, you lost another super bot?!"

"ANOTHER?" They all asked in concerned unison. Ruby laughed nervously.

"Wouldn't it be absolutely crazy if I accidentally made a murderous robot that I may or may not have lost at some point because it created a time machine and went off on a rant about Sarah Connor?" She rambled off. The look the adults gave her can only be described as terrified concern that she may have done something of the sorts.

"But that didn't happen, right?" Ozpin asked, sweating like a whore in church.

"N-Nope!" Ruby nervously chuckled. "Sarah Connor is A-Okay! Not dead at all! STOP INTERROGATING ME, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" All heads turned backed to screen, desperate to brush off this outburst as a mere joke.

"I didn't lose her," Ruby told her sister, "She's more than that. She's evolving!"

"Who could find Penny then?" Ozpin asked. Ruby walked away for a second, thinking to herself.

"Shit." She said quietly to herself, "Probably Jaune Arc."

"Uh Oh." Jaune said, "that doesn't sound good."

"Yeah," Nora agreed, "she doesn't sound happy to have to asked you for anything.

Ozpin sighed in exasperation, "Oh, great!"

"Maybe… But…" She sighed.

"Call him." Yang told her sister.

"Big bet that's her ex!" Yang blurted out.

"For the millionth time, Yang!" Ruby shouted, "I don't have an ex! Uncle Qrow, back me up here!"

"No, yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Yang on this one. Sounds like blondie here split with you."

"Sarah Connor." Ruby growled.

"I mean," Qrow stammered, "Yang, don't be ridiculous! Your sister doesn't have an ex! Stop antagonizing your sister, Yang!" He suddenly pulled a phrase he'd heard Tai say a thousand times when Yang teased Ruby, who simply smiled happily as she turned back to the screen.

"It's not that easy!" Ruby told her, "God, we haven't caught up in a spell, have we?"

Yang shook her head, "No."

"The Avengers broke up. We're toast." Yang looked rather surprised and slightly let down.

"Broke up? Like a band? Like the Achieve-Men?" Yang asked.

"The Achieve-Men broke up?" Yang sadly asked.

"Not that I'm aware of," Jaune said, earning a lot of odd stares from his friends, "I have seven sisters! Of course I've listened to them!" He backpedaled to his default defense which was in no way true, they were his favorite band, and his sisters all hated their music, but his friends didn't need to know that.

"Cap and I fell out hard," Ruby told her, anxiously biting her lip and contorting her face as if it hurt her to say this, "we're not on speaking terms."

"Cap?" Maria stifled laughter, "oh, they fuckin'!" Qrow nodded rapidly, as to agree with Maria that they were indeed… fucking.

"I think the more accurate way to say that would be to say that they were… involved romantically." Ozpin said, choosing not to refer to the act of sexual intercourse between two underage students of his.

"Ruby, listen to me," The elder sister pleaded, "Nora's gone. Salem is coming. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not." Ruby hesitated, before pulling out a cellular phone.

"I'm not dead!" Nora shouted, "I'm just…"

"Unalive?" Jaune asked

"No longer with us?" Ren asked.

"Resting in another plane of existence?" Blake asked.

"Dead?" Sun asked.

"Not here right now!" Nora finished.

"Your ship exploded." Yang said.

"Okay?" Nora asked, as if that required more evidence.

"With you in it."

"And?"

"You were already injured."

"I don't see your point. I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!"

"Flip phone." she muttered to herself. Ruby hovered over the call button, but paused, distracted by an unusual rumbling.

"What's that sound?" Blake asked.

"Probably Nothing." Weiss waved off.

"Something's wrong, I can feel it!" Qrow shouted, "It's just this feeling I've got, like something about to happen, but I don't know what!"

"If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble!" Ruby added.

Objects around them shook loudly as she looked around. She turned back to Oz, whose bangs were flipping back and forth in the wind, despite them being inside. "Say, Doc," she called over to the Wizard, "You wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would you?" His eyes craned up to look at what she was talking about.

"Why—why would someone use magic just move their forelock?" Ozpin asked.

"You Tell me," Yang said, "after all, you are a mystical magical forelock yourself!" Ozpin sighed defeatedly as everyone groaned.

"Sorry everyone, I forgot we have the Pun Patrol in here." He said, facepalming.

"No," Blake hissed, "you should have known!"

"Not at the moment, no." he told her. Ruby looked up at the hole Yang had created in the roof when she entered, noticing debris flying by, and they all faced the door, standing in a line of four rather heroically. She strode over to the door, and opened it up, stepping out into the Vale streets.

A/N: Welp, this has been all I've done today. I scattered countless references to other things in this one chapter. Some of them hella obscure, but hey, if anyone thinks they can find them all, I'll bet you can't. I'm gonna go play video games.