Chances

Summary: He just wants his brother to see.

Disclaimer: (Check summary for disclaimer)

Rate: T

Warnings: Mentions of a drug and also severe anxiety.

A/N: I feel cruel for writing this. T_T

It came back. The irritation; the itch; the restlessness, but also the fatigue his body gave out; confusing his nerves and atrophied muscles and cranium. Everything wanted rest, but also none of them wanted to relax. Anxiousness. Maybe it was him. He had been in the heavy voided armor that held no expression for so long. His soul never went to sleep or his mind. He was almost doomed forever to be in that awake state. Almost to never feel with ridges of each fingertip or toes; to use his nose and its greedy inhalement of each molecule of oxygen; almost to never to taste with the taste buds upon his tongue the delicacies of each morsel bite of steamy, mouthwatering meal. All of those things, he didn't need to worry about them anymore.

It still didn't change the fact that this was still happening. Everything was dark, objects enshrouded by the advantage of the night; even the inanimate things seemed to take in rest. But he wasn't alone in this rouse. And that, was bothering him most of all.

"Go to sleep, Brother." he said again, voice quivering.

"I told you no already. Not until I see for myself that you can do it too." he heard the voice retort back quietly. Whispering as if he would go into the deep slumber any moment. He himself wasn't even close. He turned his sight to his brother who sat on the cushioned chair with his arms crossed; he could tell by the way his posture and the way his eyes were drooping that he was trying to stay up and see the amazement and relief of what they both worked so hard to gain. This kept going on and on and on. It was now two in the morning and just the time itself kept putting the heaviness of each eyelid to close shut. Of course his brother would try to fight off the temptation of sweet slumber, being his defiant self over his own body's begging.

"I don't understand...you should've been asleep already. Dreaming by now. Aren't you tired?" Edward asked leaning over on the bed looking directly into his eyes, trying to find at least an ounce of fatigue in them.

"Of course I am. It's just-" he stopped and stifled an enraged annoyed cry. It was calling to him, the slumber, the sweetness of dreams that wanted him to indulge in them, but his body and mind protested it though. It was his fault that this was happening to him. He was the one that was allowing this, but how could he just give in to the caressing of the quietness and rest. "I don't know, Brother..." his voice hoarse, tears streaming down his face, but he couldn't wipe at them because of the IVs in his veins, pumping in the nutrients, water and blood. He thought he would be fine on his own and he refused, along with his brother, the offer the kind doctor made about the sedatives. He had believed he could do this himself, but what was hurting him was the saddened and grieved look his brother gave off. His brother had believed it too. "I can't...I-It won't come...I-I'm s-s-sorry." he sobbed quietly, while his brother was drying his tears with his both hands. One smooth and the other gruff and calloused. He dared to take a glimpse over to his brother who just looked like a blur in his watery eyes and wet eyelashes.

"N-no. stop it Alphonse...It's my fault. I-"

"Edward!" Alphonse whispered harshly making Edward jerk his head fom staring down. "We're both sharing the blame. Remember? So we just need to fix this and I remember Hugh's saying that we need all the help we can get." his voice was still hoarse from the tears.

"Help? But what-"

"Sedatives." he whispered. He saw Edward eyes go wide then they narrowed.

"No way Alphonse. I won't put you under those...those crap!" He almost yelled. Alphonse narrowed his eyes at him. Edward still kept up the feral glower, his golden eyes piercing through his own golden eyes, but he didn't let that stop him from his unwavering stare. Edward shifted his eyes to the side his brow furrowing and crossed his arms again. "No, Al."

"Ed, why are you so against it? Besides, I'm the one choosing it. It will help m-"

"Al...I can't let you use it." Edward said his eyes downcast. Alphonse widened his eyes at his brothers reaction and stopped his firm stare.

"Why? What? What's wrong?" He asked now concerned of what was bothering Edward. Edward still kept his gaze downwards, but soon enough he looked at him and stared.

"The Doctor- he told me that if you took them . . . there's a big chance that your body won't take it well. There's a lot of problems and disorders that might just make things worse, Al. I can't - I can't do that to you."

It seemed to take forever and no time at all. He felt his heart hammer away at the words that came out of his brother's mouth. He didn't really know what to think of the moment or the worry his brother showed for him; and at the same time he understood of why Edward was acting this way.

Chances.

He had to choose. For a big part of his life he had to take chances; take risks that would possibly make his life worse or end it. And it was a huge risk to get here where he was now at this moment.

He was determined once again. He would take it.

"If it will help me with my problem; with this, then I will take it. I would take it with those risks. What's the difference with this one from the rest of the things I had to go through; what we went through together, Brother?

Edward looked at him seeing the determination in his eyes, but he could also see the slight fear in them. Alphonse knew what his brother had seen and was slightly sure that he would still refuse it, but that didn't happen. Edward gave a firm nod and smiled a little.

When the Doctor came back in he had quite a few nurses with him and he wondered how bad could taking one sedative take. He felt the slight fear and claustrophobia surround him when the nurses and doctor were close at his bedside staring down at him. His heart quickened when he saw the needle of the liquid sedative pierce through the valve connecting to his veins, and he looked frantically around for Edward, his support, his security. When he found him he had to ask even though his eyelids already felt heavy and his muscles and the whole of his body was instantly into a relaxed mode.

"You'll help me right, Brother?" he slurred out, feeling sleep calling his name. His brother nodded once more and smile his biggest smile.

"I'll be here when you wake up.". A heavy weight felt like it lifted from Alphonse, feeling secured at those words and his presence.

And darkness surrounded his whole being.