After reading quite a few alternate versions to Dye! Dye! My Darling where Daria doesn't tell Jane about the infamous kiss, I've decided to write one myself. Of course, all the characters belong to their respective owners and I'm not getting paid for this.
All I could do was stare at the wall, ignoring the heated debate brewing downstairs. This couldn't be happening. Not to me. I could just hear her words echoing around me, "You'd never do anything to hurt me."
I didn't mean to hurt her...did I? Maybe her accusations were right all along. I did find Tom attractive and maybe I was jealous. No, I was. Incredibly jealous. At first, I hated him for occupying all of Jane's time. She was always pushing me to the side whenever a new fling came along. Whether she meant to or not, it stung. My only consolation was that none of those relationships lasted very long. But then Tom came along and everything flipped. Now he was taking her to the movies and out bowling, leaving me to fend for myself. A long time ago, I wouldn't have cared. I was used to spending weekends alone. But after moving to Lawndale, I was finally accepted by someone, someone worth getting to know. And now I finally had a firsthand glimpse at how easily friendships could be ripped apart. I placed my head in my hands, my eyes burning. I wanted to kiss him. He was intelligent and attractive...and he looked at me as if I was special. Finally, a guy wanted to know ME and I wanted to know him too. He saw past the mask and...I couldn't give that away. There it was, the truth in all its ugly glory.
Trent was right, I couldn't play stupid. I didn't actively try to make myself available but I didn't shy away from the attention. I never turned him away even though I realized how it would appear. Why should I jeopardize myself? If he was willing to take the bait...God, what was I saying?! Had I turned into one of those girls? I didn't want to believe it but I was alone with my thoughts and they were vicious. Barging in on them making-out was a shot right to the chest. It was a slap in the face, an outright assault on my already damaged self-esteem. And then she had the nerve to force ME to dye her stupid hair. As if that would solve all of our problems. I did feel terrible about the botched job; that wasn't intentional. But then she had the nerve to say I did it on purpose! Like I would be so catty!
...But wasn't I? I kissed him. Twice. I wanted to and I didn't care about her feelings. In that moment, I'd finally won. I was no longer the background character in the life of Jane Lane. I had reclaimed the lead and right under her nose. He chose me. I flopped back against my pillow, the bitterness oozing off my skin like slime. I wanted to keep my friendship...no matter how much I was seething. I needed Jane, probably more than she needed me (even if I didn't want to admit it). I couldn't return to being a pariah. But I also wanted to keep the guy. I didn't know how I would manage both but I was determined to make it work.
"You didn't tell her, did you?"
He draped an arm over my shoulder, "Of course not! Do you think I have a death wish?"
I breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing against him, "I know...I've just never been good at the whole lying to my best friend thing."
"Could've fooled me."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I spat back, my eyes narrowing.
"Hey, I'm just saying. I could've dumped her. We were on the outs. It took a lot of convincing to get her to stay."
"No. I need her to trust me. You just have to act like everything's fine. I couldn't deal with the alternative. If you broke up with her and we became...no, everything would be ruined."
He raised an eyebrow, "As opposed to sneaking around behind her back?"
"You like me don't you?"
He softened, "I do like you. A lot. I've just..."
"Then everything's fine. She never has to know."
He pressed his lips against mine and I pressed back hungrily. What Jane doesn't know won't hurt her.