A dress shop in Smallville.
[Lana is carrying an armful of dresses to a fitting room. Chloe enters, somewhat furtively.]
Chloe: Pink! Pink! Pink! Nothing but pink!
Sales clerk: There's baby blue and black.
Chloe: Perhaps the dress industry has failed to grasp the fact that while immature behavior takes place on prom night, it is a bit too subtle to dress the female participants in clothing whose colors are more suited to infants. As for black, those dresses have enough ruffles and frou-frous to suggest Charles Addams' wedding cake visiting the set of Gone with the Wind. This one [pointing] is shedding its beads so quickly that comparisons to rats leaving sinking ships are inevitable.
Lana: [returns from fitting room, looks at self in mirror, turns around and sees Chloe] Oh, hi, Chloe! Isn't it hard to choose?
Chloe: It's excruciating.
Lana: How does this one look?
Chloe: They call them spaghetti straps, but I'd call them angel-hair pasta. It looks as though the dress wanted to be strapless but chickened out at the last minute.
Lana: There was another one I liked, could you tell me what you think? Just a second.
Chloe: [as Lana disappears] Channeling Nostradamus to get an idea of the color.
Lana: [returning] How's this?
Chloe: Hmm. Isn't lavendar a bit too daring and innovative?
Lana: You think so?
Chloe: Just a little.
Lana: [idly, as she looks in the mirror] So, are you and Pete excited?
Chloe: Yeah. He's taking Amy Fox.
Lana: Oh, I thought you were going with him.
Chloe: No, I'm going with Clark.
Lana: [thinks for a moment, then laughs] You had me going there for a moment. No, really, who are you going with?
Chloe: Huh? I'm going with Clark. He asked me just yesterday.
Lana: He asked me the day before yesterday. You must have made some kind of mistake.
Chloe: Well, obviously he changed his mind. Sorry, Lana, but don't despair. The math team is getting out now, you might hang around them and look alluring, almost none of them have dates, so your chances are...well, not bad.
Lana: Poor Clark, he tries so hard to be nice to people he's sorry for. He probably just asked if you were going. Chloe, I do hope you'll get over your disappointment soon, oh, in a few years.
Chloe: Lana, it is so like you to be...worried about me. Alarmed, even. But unless he was trying to share my gum while I was using it, if you follow my meaning, he was fairly intent on going with me. He probably asked you to get up the courage to ask me, and was horrified when you accepted.
Lana: Horrified was not the word that I would choose for his reaction, unless I were, say, a newspaper editor with a shaky grasp of vocabulary aside from synonyms for the word "weird."
Chloe: Speaking of weird, did you know that a team of archaeologists wrote asking if there were lost civilizations under your makeup?
Lana: That's a horrible thing to say to a girl who lost her parents.
Chloe: To lose one parent is misfortune, to lose both seems a sign of carelessness.
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A/N: Okay, how many people were waiting for that last line? (I'm setting a rule for myself that the first or last line of each scene has to be genuine Wilde or at least a close paraphrase.)
[Lana is carrying an armful of dresses to a fitting room. Chloe enters, somewhat furtively.]
Chloe: Pink! Pink! Pink! Nothing but pink!
Sales clerk: There's baby blue and black.
Chloe: Perhaps the dress industry has failed to grasp the fact that while immature behavior takes place on prom night, it is a bit too subtle to dress the female participants in clothing whose colors are more suited to infants. As for black, those dresses have enough ruffles and frou-frous to suggest Charles Addams' wedding cake visiting the set of Gone with the Wind. This one [pointing] is shedding its beads so quickly that comparisons to rats leaving sinking ships are inevitable.
Lana: [returns from fitting room, looks at self in mirror, turns around and sees Chloe] Oh, hi, Chloe! Isn't it hard to choose?
Chloe: It's excruciating.
Lana: How does this one look?
Chloe: They call them spaghetti straps, but I'd call them angel-hair pasta. It looks as though the dress wanted to be strapless but chickened out at the last minute.
Lana: There was another one I liked, could you tell me what you think? Just a second.
Chloe: [as Lana disappears] Channeling Nostradamus to get an idea of the color.
Lana: [returning] How's this?
Chloe: Hmm. Isn't lavendar a bit too daring and innovative?
Lana: You think so?
Chloe: Just a little.
Lana: [idly, as she looks in the mirror] So, are you and Pete excited?
Chloe: Yeah. He's taking Amy Fox.
Lana: Oh, I thought you were going with him.
Chloe: No, I'm going with Clark.
Lana: [thinks for a moment, then laughs] You had me going there for a moment. No, really, who are you going with?
Chloe: Huh? I'm going with Clark. He asked me just yesterday.
Lana: He asked me the day before yesterday. You must have made some kind of mistake.
Chloe: Well, obviously he changed his mind. Sorry, Lana, but don't despair. The math team is getting out now, you might hang around them and look alluring, almost none of them have dates, so your chances are...well, not bad.
Lana: Poor Clark, he tries so hard to be nice to people he's sorry for. He probably just asked if you were going. Chloe, I do hope you'll get over your disappointment soon, oh, in a few years.
Chloe: Lana, it is so like you to be...worried about me. Alarmed, even. But unless he was trying to share my gum while I was using it, if you follow my meaning, he was fairly intent on going with me. He probably asked you to get up the courage to ask me, and was horrified when you accepted.
Lana: Horrified was not the word that I would choose for his reaction, unless I were, say, a newspaper editor with a shaky grasp of vocabulary aside from synonyms for the word "weird."
Chloe: Speaking of weird, did you know that a team of archaeologists wrote asking if there were lost civilizations under your makeup?
Lana: That's a horrible thing to say to a girl who lost her parents.
Chloe: To lose one parent is misfortune, to lose both seems a sign of carelessness.
**************************************************************************
A/N: Okay, how many people were waiting for that last line? (I'm setting a rule for myself that the first or last line of each scene has to be genuine Wilde or at least a close paraphrase.)